The Innocent
Opener
Rosie: First Ever WIG Women's Champion
Posts: 88
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Post by The Innocent on Aug 30, 2008 15:10:19 GMT -5
Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall!
“Living for the Weekend” by Hard-Fi starts pumping out of the Colvintron, the crowd booing at the sound of this, as the man known as Jason Hereford steps out from the back, a rather uncaring look on his face, hidden by his cracked pink shades, and pointing an arm toward the sky. He starts strutting down toward the rampway, having a few choice words with any fans that he gets close enough to.
Jeanie: And it looks like first to arrive on the scene is the hottest hobo I've ever seen.
Tom: Oh c'mon, he's not a hobo. He just lives in his car at the moment!
Jeanie: Close enough... but hey, I'd still sleep with him.
Finkel: Introducing first, from San Diego, California, weighing in at 221 pounds... Jason Hereford!
Jason quickly steps up the steel stairs outside the ring, making his way onto the apron and flashing a bit of a smirk, though almost tripping as he enters the ring, to the amusement of the fans, Hereford quickly covering this up and continuing his way toward the corner of the ring, ascending to the top and giving a confident grin to the audience, who boo in reply. He then hops down, turning around and waiting for his opponent.
Tom: Jason obviously wants to win here, since it'll probably get him one step closer to returning to his former lavish lifestyle.
Jeanie: Well duh. Everybody here in WIG wants to win!
He doesn't have to wait long as March to the Scaffold starts up, the crowd booing, as the twistedly content Joshua walks out from the back, hands folded behind his back, as Jason looks out toward the ramp, shuddering a bit at the thought of his opponent, before quickly shaking off the feeling. The crowd of course greet Joshua with an equal amount of boos, making it rather hard who will be the favorite for this particular match.
Finkel: And his opponent, from The Land of Purity, weighing in at 227 pounds, representing the Innocent, Joshua!
Tom: That Joshua is sadistic... after watching him beat Hardcore Hensley down like that, while simply looking on as if it was nothing.
Jeanie: I've got to agree with you there. The Innocent are quite depraved.
Joshua quickly makes his way to the ring, carefully stepping up the stairway himself, before entering the ring, simply walking into the center and bowing rather politely before the crowd, as Hereford watches from a distance, seemingly trying to formulate a strategy for this very unorthodox opponent of his.
Tom: Whether you love or hate these two... the latter for me, I've got to admit this should be quite a match.
Jeanie: Yep. But then again I say that about any two hot guys that lock up.
Soon enough, the bell sounds as Hereford and Joshua walk to the center of the ring, the crowd not really thrilled by either of these two, simply booing both of these individuals. Joshua, as usual, looks to Hereford and smiles, extending a handshake. Hereford looks down at that hand, then back up with a scoff, rolling his eyes, simply backing up and starting to circle the ring, Joshua not seeming to mind, as he immediately circles as well, the two of them seeming to be looking for an opening. Jason immediately lunges for a lock up, as Joshua accepts, Hereford quickly taking him into a quick arm wrench. He smirks, applying pressure, as Joshua looks at him and smiles, not seeming to mind, as he quickly rolls through, landing on his feet and quickly popping up, nailing him with a kick right to the shoulder! Hereford gasps in pain, clutching slightly, as Joshua quickly hooks the arm himself, wrenching it as well, following with a few more quick kicks to the area. Hereford quickly pulls free and backs off, rubbing at that shoulder and shaking off the pain a bit, as Joshua simply waits and looks on, arms now folded behind his back. Hereford steps forward again, as they lock up once more, Jason quickly nailing a knee to the stomach, hunching Joshua over, following up by hoisting him up for a gutbuster, dropping him across the knee. Joshua grasps his ribs slightly, as Jason grabs him as he rises, sending him off the ropes, grabbing him for a side slam, Joshua however using the momentum to flip out of Hereford's grip, landing on his feet behind him and nailing another quick to the shoulder, as Hereford grasps it again, quickly dropping to a knee, as Joshua grabs that arm, applying a standing armbar, as Hereford grimaces a bit, feeling him stretching further on that arm, as he quickly gets to his feet, reaching over and nailing Joshua in the face with a fist, before pulling his arm free, then hitting a quick low dropkick, taking Joshua down to a knee, as he quickly slips behind, bouncing off the ropes and hitting him as he rises with a quick chop block! Joshua tumbles to the mat, as Jason leaps atop for a quick cover. 1....2..
Tom: And Jason looks to be going after the legs of Joshua. A very smart strategy, but what you can expect from such a skilled technician.
Jeanie: I guess we'll just have to see how effective it is.
Joshua kicks out. Hereford immediately grabs that leg, delivering a few stomps across it, then dropping a quick elbow across, Joshua feeling this, as Hereford looks to apply a leg lock, bending it at an angle, Joshua quickly stopping this with a few boots with his free leg, as he loosens Herefords grip, shoving him off with a foot. Jason grasps at his head, looking rather annoyed, as Joshua quickly grabs him by the arm, wrenching it once more, then lifting it up high, snapping down on it for a shoulder arm breaker! Hereford's eyes go wide, as he grasps his shoulder in pain, falling to the mat clutching the area. Joshua quickly delivers a few quick kicks across that arm, sending Hereford rolling out of the ring to a number of more boos. He shakes off the feeling of that shoulder once again, rubbing over the base of it and gazing back inside the ring, looking absolutely angry with Joshua, who is now stretching his own leg out a bit, rubbing slightly at the area.He paces around outside the ring for a bit, before quickly rolling inside once again, angrily charging, Joshua catching him with a quick arm drag in reply, as Hereford gasps in pain again, rising back up and backing off once again into the turnbuckle corner. He grasps that shoulder, as Joshua immediately springs forward, going into a backhand spring, as Hereford sees this coming, quickly moving out of the way, brushing his forehead in relief, Joshua however not stopping, flipping backwards and landing on the second turnbuckle, then leaping off with a spinning wheel kick, nailing Hereford in the back of the head! Hereford goes down, grasping at the back of it, groaning and rising to his feet, as Joshua rises back up and quickly aims a few more quick kicks to the sides, staggering Hereford back with ease toward the center of the ring. He quickly aims a high roundhouse, which Hereford manages to duck, then countering with a quick sweep to the other leg, sending Joshua down to the mat! He grasps that leg slightly, as Hereford immediately grabs that leg, focusing five quick stomps across it, then slamming it to the mat, before grabbing his other leg and aiming five more, Joshua gasping slightly, as Hereford slips his knees around this other leg, then drops down to the mat for a knee drop leg breaker! Joshua grimaces a bit, grasping that leg, as Hereford quickly makes another pin attempt. 1....2...
Tom: And Hereford continuing to work on those legs, though Joshua seems to have targeted an area himself.
Jeanie: I guess we'll just have to see which of these two can endure the other's focused attacks longer.
Joshua kicks out. Hereford immediately drops a quick knee across that leg again, then quickly turns him over, lifting that leg up high, then driving it into the canvas with a knee breaker! Joshua grimaces slightly at this, Hereford hoisting it up for a second one, driving it down once again! He immediately sits across Joshua's back, applying a Half Boston crab now. Joshua's eyes go wide, as he grimaces slightly, trying to push Hereford off that leg, but to no avail, as Hereford wrenches back hard on the area, intent on snapping it off from the looks of things. Joshua continues trying to shake him free, but Jason has quite a grip on. Eventually Joshua manages to lift his free leg, managing to kick once again at Hereford's side, trying to loosen that grip slightly, as Hereford notices this and grabs that leg as well, now switching to a Full Boston crab, as Joshua gasps further in pain, Hereford definitely showing his wrestling prowess here, as he wrenches back further, Joshua now having no choice but to start crawling toward the ropes. Jason notices this and looks on with annoyance, bearing down and trying to hold him still, but to no avail as Joshua starts crawling toward the ropes, lunging out and managing to grab hold. Hereford looks on in annoyance, taking advantage of the full five count, before breaking the hold. Jason gets behind, watching as Joshua helps himself off the mat using the ropes, Hereford aiming a blatant kick to the leg from behind, knocking him back down to the mat! He smirks, reaching down and pulling Joshua off the mat, delivering another knee to the gut, as he slips behind and quickly grabs him from behind, driving him down as well across his knee for a backbreaker! Joshua grimaces slightly, as Hereford hooks the leg, looking for a quick cover. 1....2...
Tom: Jason really stretching the younger man with those holds. You've gotta give him credit, when Hereford isn't busy being such a cocky little punk or tripping over his own two feet, he can definitely ground his opponents quite effectively.
Jeanie: Don't count Joshua out just yet though.
Joshua kicks out once again. Jason looks rather annoyed, as he yanks Joshua back to his feet, only to get a shoulder block to the gut, as Joshua unleashes another quick series of kicks, grimacing a bit with each one, then bouncing off the ropes, looking for another spinning wheel kick, Hereford however scouting this and catching him in mid air, powering him down with a second backbreaker across the knee! Joshua grasps his back slightly, as Hereford rolls him over, driving a few quick knees across the spine area, before pulling him back up from behind, locking in and tossing him overhead with a Dragon Suplex! Joshua crashes to the mat with a thud, grasping at his neck now, as Hereford bounces off the ropes, coming back with a sliding dropkick to the neck, sending him rolling to the outside of the ring. He grasps further, slowly rising back up, as Hereford charges forward, diving through the ropes, only to run right into a kick to the face, stopping him in mid air and dropping him to the mat! Hereford grasps at his head, as Joshua reaches down, rubbing a bit at that leg of his, as he yanks Jason up off the mat, wrenching the arm and yanking him over to the barricade on the outside, laying it across it and raising his leg high, bringing it down across with an axe kick to the arm! Hereford gasps in pain, clutching desperately at that arm, as Joshua carries him back over, tossing him back inside the ring. He quickly slides in after, as Hereford slowly gets to his feet, only to get taken back down with a chop block, sending him back to the canvas! Joshua looks down at his fallen opponent, grabbing him by the arm, then dropping a leg across, aggravating that shoulder again, as Hereford grimaces in pain, clutching with his free arm. Joshua then holds that arm down to the mat, stomping quite vicious across it, before dropping down and wrenching the arm, turning it into a hammerlock, as he now reaches behind, viciously cranking across Hereford's neck with his free arm, Jason looking on in horror as he feels him wrenching back quite hard across it, quickly struggling to his feet, then managing to elbow his way free with his other arm, then backing off the ropes, coming back with a flying crossbody! Joshua however catches him in the head once again with a rather quick kick to the face, stopping him dead, sending him crashing back to the canvas. He quickly drags him away from the ropes, looking for a cover of his own. 1....2..
Tom: Jason just got rocked with that kick there! I swear, when it comes to using their feet as weapons, very few can stand up against this guy.
Jeanie: I wonder how well he can his other body parts?
Tom: ... No comment.
Hereford kicks out. Joshua immediately drags him back up, wrenching the arm once again, delivering a few quick elbows across the shoulder, Hereford grimacing further in pain, as he then grabs that arm, pulling it up for another shoulder arm breaker, Hereford however immediately countering with another quick elbow, breaking the hold, then backing up off the ropes, coming back with a sliding dropkick clipping Joshua right in his leg! He gasps in pain, grasping at the area, as Hereford clutches at his own arm, writhing in pain from the looks of things. The two of them rise once again, as Joshua immediately aims a quick kick to the face, nailing Jason once again, sending him back down to the mat, clutching at his head. Joshua looks down at him, grabbing at that leg, then quickly making his way toward the top turnbuckle, leaping to the top, Hereford however seeming to sense this, diving forward and racking the ropes, Joshua losing his balance now, straddling the turnbuckle in pain! Jason then quickly climbs up the turnbuckle after him, setting him up, then leaping off, hitting a huge Superplex! The two of them crash hard into the canvas, Joshua grasping desperately at his back, Jason meanwhile trying to regain his breath. He crawls over toward Joshua's limp body, making a cover. 1....2.....
Tom: Jason with what can only be desperation! But it definitely paid off!
Jeanie: But will it be enough for the three count?
NO! Joshua gets a shoulder up. Jason can't believe it, as he grasps his head in horror, as he angrily slaps the mat, quickly getting to his feet as quickly as he can and climbing out of the ring, reaching now underneath quite angrily, digging around inside and finding what looks like a steel chair! the crowd boos even louder, as he gives a huge smirk, smacking it against the outside with a loud clang, before rolling back into the ring, as he slams it against the mat, waiting for his opponent to rise. He motions for him to rise, Joshua soon doing so, as he immediately swings that chair, only for the referee to immediately grab onto it in mid swing! Jason looks on with annoyance, angrily trying to pull it loose, as the referee tries to keep this match a clean affair. Hereford refuses to give in, finally shoving the referee away, then with a huge grin, swinging one more time, only to miss completely, the chair bouncing off the ropes, smashing him right back in the face! Hereford lands flat right back on the mat, clutching at his face, completely unaware that Joshua has slipped away. He slowly rises up, clutching his features and turning around, right into a Soul Cleanser! He immediately stops, falling back to the mat, as Joshua grasps at that leg once again, quickly dragging Hereford away from the ropes and making an immediate cover. The referee immediately slides back over to register the count. 1....2....3!
Tom: And Hereford just made a fatal mistake. NEVER take your eyes off of Joshua.
Jeanie: Ouch... let's just hope all his facial features are still intact.
This one is over, thanks in part to Hereford's tactics.
Finkel: Here is your winner... Joshua!
Tom: Hereford shot himself in the foot. He got frustrated and decided to try and take the easy way out.
Jeanie: Who knows Tom? If he hadn't resorted to that chair... the outcome could have been different!
The blond haired young man looks down at Hereford and simply smiles, crouching down and whispering something inaudible, before standing back to his feet and bowing, as the crowd boos, Hereford looking to be out like a cheap light. Joshua quickly backs away from his prone body and slips back outside the ring, folding his arms behind his back and calmly stepping up the rampway and toward the back once more, as Hereford stirs slightly. He realizes what just happens and angrily pounds the mat with frustration, the crowd booing still, as he gets up slowly, rubbing his head in pain, before slowly exiting the ring as well.
Jeanie: Well... live and learn. Better luck next time Jason.
Tom: And next time, he'll have to deal with the mountain of a man called Chaz Stone.
Jeanie: Guess we'll see then if Hereford has better luck.
We quickly fade to a commercial.
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Danny Taylor
Opener
One Half of the Victorious Colvin Cup Tournament Team
Posts: 25
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Post by Danny Taylor on Aug 30, 2008 17:33:26 GMT -5
*The camera fades in back from commercial as a song begins to play softly in the background. The now familiar shape of Danny Taylor is in view as she stands behind a bar. Clad in forever in blue jeans, a vest with a stitched patch with the name “Danny”, and a mesh trucker's cap. She smiles to the camera and holds up one finger as she cleans a glass then pours a draft for a thirsty customer. Wiping the sweat from her forehead, she then tips her hat to the camera and smiles widely.*
Danny: It's been said that you can't please all of the people all of the time, and you know what? Well that rings true in everyday life. And even more so with me lately. It would seem that there have been some comments sent in by the budding fan base of Wrestling's Innovative Genesis. Looks like y'all aren't happy with the way I am.
*She goes back to wiping the bar down and re-filling a glass of another bar patron as she smiles, greeting a newcomer and inviting the man to sit down. The tired man just stares at her and then at the rest of patrons. He shrugs and leaves the bar. The view goes back to her, capturing a waivering smile. The air of falsehood arises further when one man orders a Tom Collins and she slides him a beer. A pissed man throws down a fiver and wanders out as Danny looks at the camera with a deer in the headlights look. A smile still glued on her face.*
Danny: ...But that's OH KAY! Because I'm going into this not to be loved by everyone, just as long as I'm liked and respected as I continue to further my goal of being the best role model for little girls everywhere. Because just like Terry Fator and Garth Brooks... I have friends in low places too. Right boys?
*A silence fills the room.*
“...When is Gary coming back?”
“Yeah, this new bartender sucks.”
Danny: Right. Well... I..uh... will be making my official debut against Kelly Kelly at W*I*G's Date With Destiny Card. And it's sure to be a roaring good time! So don't forget my name is Danny. And when I come to W*I*G, I'll show you what a real woman can do. Yee haw!
*She grins so wide it appears to be somewhat phony, and while the rest of the patrons walk in front of her leaving for perhaps a better place to be. Fade into a graphic of a tumbleweed, a bull rope, and a cow skull with old fashioned lettering.*
Danny Taylor, A Role Model You Can Trust In
Coming Soon to Wrestling's Innovative Genesis.
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Post by C. M. Synthy on Aug 30, 2008 19:53:20 GMT -5
*The WIG*Sphere camera team shoots to the back. A big, bright green inflatable couch sits in the center of a buttercup-yellow room, with pink daises painted on the ceiling. Who else do you expect to be in a room that awfully colorful? Lexi Dyionisi lays upside-down in the center of the couch, with Tristan Hades looking dead-asleep. His still angry-looking features looking even more tan than usual. Lexi’s kicking her legs, somehow managing to keep her perfect placement.*
Lexi: WHERE IS SHE? She was a’pposed to pop a Hi to us 30 seconds ago!
Tristan:*Evil Snore*
Lexi: Wacky, dude. Syn-sis is never THIS late!
A door can be heard squeaking open. Synthy Eris walks to her siblings. Bruises, burst-blood vessel eye in full red beauty. Stitches run from her lower lip to her labret. It’s obvious that her ‘match’ against Chick Aura still has effect, even this much later. Her arms are crossed.
Synthy: Lexi. I was stretching, my match is up next, remember? Besides, you and Tristan weren’t supposed to be back from vacation for another day.
Lexi: Oh yeah. =D What was it that you wanted to show us?! Does it have colors?
Tristan:*Brutal snore*
Synthy: *She clears her throat, which sounds raspier than normal.* Tristy, this concerns you as well. So, WAKE YOUR MAN-WHORE ASS UP. *Synthy clears her throat again, as Lexi stares at her with shocked eyes.*
Lexi:Whoa, Synthy-sis. Duuuude. 0.0
Tristan: *Tristan bolts up, and wipes a bit of malevolent drool from his mouth. He crosses his arms and stares over at his fuchsia-haired sister.*
Synthy: Like you stated, Lex, I’ve got something to show you. Yes, it’s in color, but it might surprise you. Someone made a fool of you two while you were away.
Synthy withdraws a DVD from her pocket and holds it up between two fingers. She waves it toward them as she walks over to the television and sets it all up.
The match between ‘The Olympus Siblings’ and Him & Her appears. Something seems off about the Siblings as one takes a closer look. For one thing, Tristan appears a solid foot shorter than normal, and Lexi’s ribs can be seen.
Tristan: *His eyes turn to slits as he watches the progression of the match. His upper lip trembles into a sneer. Several seconds later, a sharp bark of laughter escapes from his throat.
Lexi:=0, XD. DUDE. O-M-Gee! That’s not us! Look at the girl-girl’s hair! IT’SA WIG. See, there! *Lexi rolls off of the couch and points to the Lexi on-screen.* You can see blondness!
Synthy: And notice how Tristan’s Asian? With a black moustache.
Lexi:*Understanding dawns on Lexi’s face as she giggles.* It’s Jimmy the Cowboy and Michy McCoolio! They're like, posing as us. HOW BAD OF THEM! Cuz that wig is totally like, red and violet. Ew.
Tristan:*Another peal of barking laughter bursts out, sending a few of the audience to the bathroom. The fierce man’s laughter is terrifying after all.*
Synthy: Enjoy the rest. I however, *She cracks her neck and suddenly looks determined. She turns to the door.* have a match to see about. I can’t wait either. It’s going to be all about business. *Synthy turns and walks out of the door, rolling her fists together.*
Lexi:She’s such a masocheese. *She blinks, and turns back to the screen.* I wonder if Her is the Him and the Him is the Her? :0
*The WIG*Sphere turns from this brain-bursting question to follow Synthy Eris, who looks stoutly ready for her upcoming brutal bout. She turns a corner, and the Cameraman goes back to the audience.*
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Post by The Maxx on Aug 31, 2008 9:15:39 GMT -5
*THE MAXX AWESOME is storming about backstage. John Cena approaches him with a microphone.*
Cena: Excuse me, THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) can I have a word, please?
*MAXX turns around to face Cena.*
MAXX: You want to know what THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) has to say about Coltrane after that chicken-shit had the audacity to cheap-shot me?! Okay! THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) is thinkin', maybe Coltrane was right after all. THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) comes out here, THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) entertains the best way THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) knows how, the only way THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) knows how. That includes slipping in a little gag ocassionally, a little dig at the expense of THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause)'s opponents. But, right now, THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) has no, as Coltrane put it, "lame one-liners" to fire in his direction. This is not a joke any more. Coltrane, your little "experiment" here in W*I*G, trying to steal what everyone does, has failed. At Date With Destiny, THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) will send you packing. THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) will claim that #1 Contendership so that THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) can then take his rightful place as the first ever W*I*G Champion. For once, THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) is being absolutely serious! And when THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) kicks that pasty faced, unoriginal son of a bitch out of W*I*G once & for all, & I think the fans will agree here, that'll be Awesome...
*The fans finish the catchphrase*
"AWESOME TO THE MAXX!"
MAXX: You're damn right it will!
*MAXX walks off as fans continue to cheer & we cut to the next segment.*
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Coltrane
Opener
First Ever W*I*G* Champion
Posts: 29
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Post by Coltrane on Aug 31, 2008 13:08:28 GMT -5
Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall! Introducing first… * “T.C.D.D.” by Inactive Messiah starts up as Dimitri Konstantinos walks onto the stage, his eyebrows lowered and wringing his dangling wrists. He walks down the ramp, slapping hands with a few of the fans.* Finkel: From Thessaloniki, Greece, weighing in at 228 pounds…DIMITRI…KONSTANTINOS! Tom: Now here’s a man we don’t know much about. He showed up some time ago and threw us a promo, but since then he’s been totally silent. Do you think it could be strategy on his part? Jeannie: I don’t really know, but so long as it includes him and me— Tom: I’m sorry I asked. *Dimitri continues down, before sliding into the ring, stretching himself out and slapping his face a few times. His music fades away as the crowd quiets down in anticipation for his opponent.* "I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be me, I don't wanna be me... anymore."*Coltrane appears at the head of the ramp, clad in his trenchcoat, his head bowed. He walks on down the ramp, not looking up at the fans or his opponent.* Finkel: And his opponent, from Queens, New York, weighing in at 234lbs... COL~TRANE! *Coltrane simply slides into the ring & discards his coat, he looks up at Konstantinos with emotionless eyes as the referee orders the bell rung to start the match.* DING-DING! *Both men circle each other warily. Suddenly, Konstantinos explodes with a massive lariat that nearly breaks Coltrane's jaw! Coltrane starts to sit up; he shakes his head to get his bearings back. He wasn't expecting such a brutal attack so early in the match. As the cobwebs begin to clear, Coltrane gets back to his feet again. Konstantinos charges Coltrane again, Coltrane is able to duck this time. He slips behind Konstantinos & takes him down with a Side Russian Leg Sweep. Coltrane gets to his feet & drops an elbow on Konstantinos' chest. Konstantinos sits up & glares at Coltrane. Coltrane hits Konstantinos with a stiff kick to the chest. Konstantinos rolls through with the momentum of the kick & is back standing again. Coltrane is suddenly panicked!* Tom: How about this Jeannie? I think it's the first time we've ever seen Coltrane get a little flustered against an opponent. Jeannie: Konstantinos isn't a man we know much about. Maybe this aura of mystery has thrown Coltrane off his usual gameplan of doing what his opponent does. *Coltrane runs the ropes & aims to take Konstantinos out with a Spear. Konstantinos manages to catch Coltrane & plant him with a Spinning Spinebuster. Konstantinos climbs the ropes as Coltrane lies on the mat in agony.* Tom: I heard Konstantinos wasn't averse to some high-flying, but I didn't think we'd see it in his W*I*G in-ring debut! *Before Dmitri can pull off whatever he was planning, Coltrane rolls well out of the way. He pulls himself up with the ropes at the opposite side & gives a self-satisfied smirk. He makes his way back to where Konstantinos still sits on the top rope, goading him. Konstantinos shocks Coltrane by leaping off with a Flying Clothesline. Konstantinos rolls onto his feet again & raises a fist in the air.* Jeannie: I don't think we've EVER seen Coltrane get his ass handed to him like this before. It's like he just doesn't know what to do to counter Konstantinos' powerful offense! *Coltrane is struggling to get back up straight. He seems to be wavering a little bit. Konstantinos is gearing up for another assault. He takes another charge at Coltrane full steam! Coltrane manages to turn it back on Dimitri with a surprise Savate Kick. Konstantinos is sent reeling for a moment & Coltrane takes full advantage. He quickly lifts Konstantinos onto his shoulders & hits him with the Finlay Roll before heading up top. Konstantinos is able to get back to his feet before Coltrane can properly position himself on the top rope. Konstantinos reaches up & grabs Coltrane before sending him back into the ring. Coltrane gets hurled halfway across the ring & rolls to the opposite corner. Konstantinos is readying himself to give Coltrane a huge splash in the corner. Dimitri takes another big run at Coltrane. Coltrane manages to dodge at the last second as Konstantinos hits the turnbuckles chest first, though not enough to do any major damage. Coltrane aims to change that as he hits Konstantinos with a Reverse Lungblower!* Tom: Unfortunately for Konstantinos it seems as though Coltrane has finally found a few moves he can use against him. *The move still doesn't seem to be enough to take Konstantinos down, just stagger him slightly. Coltrane takes the groggy Konstantinos & plants him with his own Wrist-Clutch Exploder DDT! Coltrane covers Konstantinos...* 1... 2... KICKOUT! Tom: Konstantinos isn't finished quite yet. Jeannie: Trust me. It takes alot to get a Greek guy to go down! *Coltrane tries to switch tack slightly. He sends Konstantinos off to the ropes & catches him on the rebound with a Spinebuster. Konstantinos sits up again, but Coltrane runs from behind & catches him with a Rolling Neck Snap. Konstantinos is quickly down again. Coltrane drags Konstantinos to his feet & indicates he's about to go for a Piledriver. Konstantinos struggles to maintain his ground by dropping to one knee. Coltrane clubs him on the back a few times & tries to lift him up for the move. Konstantinos resists & takes Coltrane over with a Back Body Drop. Konstantinos plants Coltrane with an STO & then locks him up in the Camel Clutch! Coltrane is freaked once again.* Tom: Could it be that Coltrane has finally met his match in Dimitri Konstantinos? Is his, admittedly, brief winning streak about to come to an end? *Coltrane can't manage to reach a hand out to the ropes. There doesn't seem to be any way out for him. He tries to claw his way along the mat & grasp onto the ropes. It's trying & it hurts him to do so, he finally manages to reach out with his right hand & grasp the bottom rope. The referee begins to count on Konstantinos' hold. Konstantinos backs off as Coltrane gets to his feet.* Jeannie: That was a close call for Coltrane there. He nearly got knocked off his undefeated spot. Tom: I wouldn't be too shocked if he gets knocked off that spot when he faces THE MAXX AWESOME... ( Dramatic Pause) this Sunday! *Coltrane is still clearly drained from dragging a stocky guy like Konstantinos across the ring on his back as he uses the ropes to get to a standing position again. Konstantinos takes a run at Coltrane & both men go tumbling over the top rope with a Cactus Clothesline. On the floor, Konstantinos takes another run at Coltrane. Coltrane manages to side-step the move & he sends Konstantinos flying into the ring-steps. Konstantinos nurses his shoulder. Coltrane viciously whips him into the security railing & slams his left arm over the top of the rail as Konstantinos winces.* Tom: Konstantinos has finally been hurt. This may be Coltrane's opportunity in this match. *Coltane twists Konstantinos' arm behind his back & shoves him shoulder first into the ring-post again before rolling him back in the ring. Konstantinos takes a swing at Coltrane who catches the arm & goes for another Wrist-Clutch Exploder DDT. Konstantinos blocks the attempted move & kicks Coltrane in the gut. With Coltrane doubled over Konstantinos sets him up for a Cradle Brainbuster, but his left shoulder is too damaged, suffering repeated spasms as a result of Coltrane’s weight. Coltrane abuses this moment of hesitation on Dimitri's part & pulls off a Corkscrew Neckbreaker.* Jeannie: That hurt shoulder of Konstantinos is giving him alot of gyp! Ya have to wonder if he can rally back from that problem & manage to beat Coltrane! *Coltrane frontally mounts the fallen Konstantinos, opting to deliver a series of heavy punches. Each one rocks the left temple of Dimitri, and he flails wildly trying to drive the slippery Coltrane off of him. Coltrane slides off and ducks around the still-fallen Konstantinos before picking him up to a seated position and locking in a Cobra clutch! Dimitri, fatigued and wounded, is unable to slip out. Coltrane continues to apply pressure, increasing it every second.* Tom: I don’t know if Dimitri can fight his way out of this one, and even if he can he’ll be in a heap of trouble from the continuing offense of the ever-tenacious Coltrane. *Dimitri, with his last bit of strength, turns himself onto his knees, his face pointing down. Coltrane continues to pull and squeeze away but is on the receiving end of a few elbows to the side of the head. Nearly toppled over completely Dimitri hits another elbow that dazes Coltrane, and upon this he is able to get up a little bit more. With no time to waste, Konstantinos shoots onto his feet, on the verge of falling over as he tries to walk towards the ropes. Coltrane, deciding to bring Dimitri down in force, hits him with a knee to the back that forces him to stagger downwards and jumps on top, forcing the weakening Konstantinos to piggyback all his weight.* Jeannie: Forget about the rally, I think he’s routing. *Suddenly Konstantinos hits another hard elbow that manages to clock Coltrane sideways. Coltrane’s grip loosens slightly and his torso slides over in the direction of Konstantinos’ right shoulder. Lifting his arm up, Konstantinos wraps it around the back of Coltrane and with a burst of energy makes a mad dash for the opposite corner.* THUD! *The sound of flesh and bone hitting steel resonates in the arena as Dimitri lands a Macedonian Gutbuster! Coltrane and Konstantinos both crumple to the mat in a heap. The crowd applauds as the two lay half-unconscious on the mat, groaning as the referee begins his count to ten—a knockout is looking to be the possible result of this match.* Tom: Never have a I seen a man dig that deep and risk it all just to break even! 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! *Coltrane and Konstantinos both begin to stir, inching themselves up to their knees.* 6! 7! *Both men are finally up and turn to face one another, each man dazed. Coltrane launches a punch at the face of Konstantinos which sends him back, and hits yet another. Returning fire, Dimitri delivers a powerful kick to the abdominal region that forces Coltrane to clutch his side for a split second, the damage of that gutbuster still maintaining a presence. Dimitri, still low on fuel, decides that he needs to end this one quick, before he gets outpaced by the crafty Coltrane and spins around, turning himself onto a handstand and with his left leg, hits a huge copoeira superkick, causing Coltrane to stagger backwards and fall back-first to the mat. Dimitri bites his lower lip in pain, his shoulder hurting yet more.* Tom: I admire the ferocity of Dimitri Konstantinos but if he’s not careful he’ll cause himself permanent injury—and after that gambit of a move—he’s cutting awfully close to that being a definite reality! *Konstantinos quickly goes for the cover on Coltrane, and the referee immediately slides down and over and starts up the count.* 1! 2! KICKOUT! *Coltrane gets a shoulder up much to the dismay of Konstantinos, who slaps the side of his own head and frowns. Dimitri hauls Coltrane up and sends him into the ropes, and as Coltrane bounces back, he throws a leg, trying to hit a spinning kick; Coltrane however is quick enough to duck it and races to the other side of the ropes. Dimitri turns around, only to be clocked with a savate kick that plants him right onto his back. With Konstantinos motionless and parallel to one of the corners, Coltrane scales it and turns himself 180 degrees, his back facing his fallen opponent.* Jeannie: And now that Dimitri has lost his momentum again, Coltrane’s going to add insult WITH injury! *Coltrane glances over his shoulder again to check on the still-motionless Konstantinos, and lifting both of his arms prepares to take a leap backwards. Just as he’s about to let off and leap into the air, he catches motion out of the corner of his eye. Coltrane quickly turns himself around as Dimitri gets back up to his feet and runs to a side of the ring, leaping onto the middle rope. Coltrane gets his guard up just as Konstantinos bounces off towards him. Konstantinos lowers his head as Coltrane’s eyes bug out, the crazed Greek launching his Torpedo at tremendous speed. Coltrane tries to dodge it, but still gets caught from the side; the two go crashing, ricocheting off of the ropes and tumbling onto the mat. Both are down but Coltrane seems to still have some steam left. He hauls himself up, Dimitri groaning and clutching his shoulder once again.* Tom: Konstantinos took another gamble, but I’m not sure this one paid off quite as well—Coltrane is back onto his feet, and Dimitri MAY have dislocated his shoulder on that awkward landing! *Coltrane picks up Konstantinos by the hair, getting him onto his feet and bending him over. He places Dimitri’s head between his legs and wraps his arms around to pick him up. With Dimitri halfway up, the tiring Coltrane suddenly feels a pull that causes him to lower his opponent. Konstantinos isn’t out just yet, and with another burst is able to wrap his arms around Coltrane in a fireman’s carry position. He readies himself for a slam but Coltrane manages to shift his weight onto Konstantinos’ left shoulder. Dimitri tries to keep him up but simply can’t muster the strength to do so. He falls to a knee as Coltrane slides off. Konstantinos tries to turn around and attack again, but his fatigue slows him down. Just as he gets around, a stiff kick to the gut forces him to double over, and Coltrane is able to get him back into position! Coltrane lifts him up and lands a massive crucifix piledriver before covering up! 1! 2! 3! DING DING DING! * "I Don't Wanna Be Me" plays again as Coltrane glares down at another fallen opponent.* Finkel: Here is your winner... COL~TRANE! *Coltrane grabs his coat & exits the ring after the referee raises his hand. John Cena comes running down the ramp as Coltrane is about to make his exit.* Cena: Coltrane, can I have a... *Coltrane grabs Cena by his Pink Floyd shirt & nearly spits into the microphone.* Coltrane: Maxxxxxx Awessssome! It doesn't matter how sssseriousss you try to pretend you've become! You will never be better than a man who fightsss for dignity when you are nothing but a joke! I've worked hard to get here, you sssaunter in the front door & get what you want! At Date With Desssstiny, we'll ssssee which man hasss chosssen the right path! *With that, Coltrane releases Cena & walks on up the ramp to the back.*
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Post by Andy Duke on Sept 1, 2008 19:12:42 GMT -5
*Andy Duke’s music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=67j-a4mZ9T8Finkel: Introducing first, coming down the aisle, at 6 feet, weighing at 227 pounds, from Chewelah, Washington—ANDY DUKE. *Duke comes out to a nice pop. His manager Alexa King shortly follows with a clipboard in hand He’s wearing blue trunks with his initials in black and black trim on them, black tape wrapped around both fists, and black boots. She is wearing a short skirt, a business-suit style jacket, and high heels. They walk to the ring and enter it.* Tom Bailey: Well, we are set for action between Andy Duke and James “Magnum” Constance, though I doubt Duke and Magnum will be the only ones making an appearance in this match. Jeannie Lawless: Yeah, with Duke feuding with Vin Beverly and Magnum feuding with The White Boys, this could turn into an all out brawl. *James “Magnum” Constance’s music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=CR9WJToFsTs Finkel: And, his opponent, at 6 feet 2 inches, weighing at 245 pounds, from Honolulu, Hawaii, by way of Detroit, Michigan—JAMES “MAGNUM” CONSTANCE. *Constance comes out to a big pop. He is wearing a Hawaiian shirt, a Detroit Tigers baseball cap, sunglasses, purple trunks with a tropical floral design, black knee pads, and black boots. He walks to the ring as some pyro goes off and enters it. Then, Magnum takes off the shirt, cap, and glasses and hands them to the referee, who hands them to the time keeper.* Tom: You know, the threat of possible interference from Beverly and-or the White Boys could have an affect on either man in this match. Jeannie: Plus, it looks like Magnum is having some troubles with L. Rey. You’ve got to wonder how that is going to play into Magnum’s focus as well and give an advantage to Duke. Tom: Either way, this should be an interesting match. *The bell rings. Alexa and Finkel exit the ring. Duke and Magnum shake hands and then tie up. Magnum quickly wraps his arm around Duke’s head, locking him in a headlock. After a few seconds, Duke moves Magnum back into the ropes and runs forward, trying to push him off; but Magnum hangs on and slides Duke onto the mat. Magnum wrenches the headlock a few times. After several seconds, Duke starts lifting himself and Magnum up. Soon, Duke gets himself and Magnum onto his feet. Suddenly, Duke picks Magnum up and hits him with belly to back suplex. Both men get up. Duke goes for a shining wizard, but Magnum grabs Duke’s legs, picks him up, and hits him with an inverted atomic drop. Duke falls to the mat.* Tom: Magnum stops the shining wizard with an inverted atomic drop. Jeannie: That move should be made illegal. It’s too close to a certain body part for my comfort. Tom: What!? How would a move that comes close to hurting a man’s groin region bad for your comfort? Jeannie: Do you know me at all!? Tom: Yeah, I just realize how stupid that question is. *Magnum walks over to Duke to pick him up. However, Duke grabs Magnum and pulls him down, causing him to fall chest first onto the second turnbuckle. Duke quickly gets up and picks up Magnum, placing him into the corner. Then, he hits Magnum with a knife edge chop. The crowd lets out a “Woo!”. Duke chops Magnum again, and another “Woo!” comes from the crowd. Suddenly, Magnum gives Duke a chop of his own, with another “Woo!” and moving himself out of the corner a little. Then, he gives Duke another chop, with another “Woo!” and getting out of the corner some more. Then, Duke chops Magnum. Magnum chops Duke. Duke chops Magnum. Magnum chops Duke. The two men then get into a chop war. The “Woo!”s continue as Magnum and Duke chop each other to the center of the ring and their chest turn beat red. Suddenly, Magnum grabs Duke and hits him with a belly to belly suplex.* Tom: After a lengthy chop war, Magnum ends it with a belly to belly suplex to Andy Duke. Jeannie: I would love to make their backs as red as a chest. Tom: Yeah, yeah, yeah. We get it. You’re into bondage. Jeannie: That’s not the only thing I’m into. Tom: And let’s keep the rest to yourself. Jeannie: You’re no fun. *Magnum gets up and picks up Duke. Suddenly, Duke dropkicks Magnum. Magnum falls back into the ropes and bounces off them. Duke gets up, grabs Magnum, and hits him with a Northern lights suplex, bridging for a pin.* Ref: 1…2…*Magnum wraps his arms around Duke’s stomach, pulls himself up, and turns Duke around.* *Magnum lifts Duke up for a piledriver, but Duke counters with a back body drop. Magnum gets up and turns around on his knees. However, Duke suddenly hits him with a Yakuza kick. Magnum falls to the mat, and Duke quickly locks him into a cobra clutch crossface.* Tom: Andy Duke gains some momentum with a Yakuza kick and a cobra clutch crossface. Jeannie: I wonder how Magnum is going to get out of his hold. Tom: Well, how would you get out of this is Duke had it on you? Jeannie: I would say, but that would get us a heavy fine from the FCC. *Duke has the hold locked on for a few minutes. Suddenly, Magnum rolls over and gets Duke into a pin.* Ref: 1…2…*Duke lets go of the hold and kicks out.* *Both men get up. Duke charges at Magnum, but Magnum grabs him and hits him with a throat-first flapjack onto the top rope followed by a clothesline. He stays on top of Duke for a pin.* Ref: 1…2…*Duke gets a shoulder up.* Tom: Great Scott! Magnum counters the cobra clutch crossface into a pin, causing Duke to let go of the hold and then hits him with Kiss The Sabre. *Both men get up. Magnum grabs Duke and hits him with a bodyslam. Duke gets up, but Magnum bodyslams him again. Duke gets up again, and Magnum goes for another bodyslam; but Duke manages to slip out of it. He tries to lock Magnum into a cobra clutch, but Magnum backs him up into the corner and squashes him against the turnbuckles. Magnum moves from the corner, runs to the opposite corner, turns around, charges back at Duke, and hits him with a running splash. Then, he chops Duke a few times. Then, Magnum tries to whip Duke into the opposite corner, but Duke reverses it and whips Magnum into the corner. Duke charges at Magnum, but Magnum is able to get his feet up; and Duke runs right into them unable to stop in time. Duke staggers back, and Magnum charges at him. Suddenly, Vin Beverly comes charging into the ring and hits Magnum with a clothesline. The referee calls for the bell. The crowd boos loudly.* Finkel: Here is your winner by disqualification—JAMES “MAGNUM” CONSTANCE. Jeannie: I don’t believe it! Tom: Vin Beverly runs into the ring and attacks Magnum, costing Andy Duke the match by disqualification. Jeannie: That is a dick move to do, and from such a sexy bastard. Tom: Jeannie! Jeannie: How many times must I tell you that I can’t help it!? *Beverly just smiles at Duke, who looks very angry. Then, Duke charges at Beverly. Beverly exits the ring, and Duke chases him to the back as Alexa King follows. Suddenly, the White Boys come from the crowd and enter the ring. They quickly pounce on Magnum as he gets up.* Tom: And, now the White Boys have come out here! Jeannie: Looks like we were right about Vin Beverly and the White Boys interfering. *The White Boys stomp on Magnum for a while. Then, Jason picks up Magnum in a holding suplex. Justin jumps onto Magnum with his knees on Magnum’s chest. And, they hit him with an inverted suplex/modified double knee chest breaker combo. Then, they exit the ring, leaving Magnum on the mat.* Tom: The South Will Rise Again to Magnum. Jeannie: Where’s L. Rey? Tom: What? Jeannie: L. Rey didn’t come out and help Magnum. Tom: He must still be angry about what happened earlier. Jeannie: That doesn’t bode well for their match at Date With Destiny. *Cut to commercial.*
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Post by The Hardcore Disciple on Sept 1, 2008 20:46:09 GMT -5
Finkel: This match is set for one fall, with a twenty minute time limit.
*The music of Apocalyptica fills the arena as the giant of The Innocent strides his way down the stage towards the ring. "Ruska" blares, threatening to deafen the crowd booing him, and the man's expression matches that of someone headed to the funeral of a dear loved one, mournful and apologetic. His white and gold attire flutter lightly as he hoists a great leg over the top rope and settles inside the ring. He settles in a corner and prays, waiting for his opponent.*
Finkel: From the Land of Purity, weighing in at 363 pounds...EARNEST!
*The crowd boos heavily. The big man ignores them all, simply keeping his head bowed.*
Bailey: Look at this monster. I don't think he's really as remorseful as he looks. Lawless: I'd rather look at his opponent, or our guest commentator, his opponent for Date with Destiny, Jason Hereford! Glad to have you here! Hereford: Glad to be here. No, really. Free soda? Chili dogs? Those blue cupcakes they sell sometimes? That’s food. Lawless: Sure. Wanna go get some with me later? Hereford: Um Tom…er…how about that Industrial Revolution?
*The blare of bagpipes bring the crowd to their feet. When the music switches to "School's Out" by Alice Cooper, Chaz Stone bursts through the curtain with enthusiasm. He plays to the crowd a bit as he walks down the ramp, flexing and grinning the whole way. His opponent is once more much bigger than him, but when's that ever bothered him? Just another chance to prove himself. He slides into the ring and gives a thumbs up to the crowd before settling in the corner and psyching himself up.*
Finkel: From Seattle, Washington, by way of Edinburgh, Scotland, weighing in at 20 stone...CHAZ STONE! Bailey: Listen to the crowd reaction for this man! Lawless: They really love him in this arena, and I can't blame them. *wistful sigh*
Hereford: *climbing on top of the announce table and cupping his hands in front of his mouth* BOOOOOOOO! BOOOOOOOOOOO!
*The bell rings, and the two men size each other up. Chaz tries to lock up with the bigger man, but is pushed off easily. Not at all deterred, he storms right back and grabs him by the legs, trying to pick him up. Earnest indulges his efforts--until Chaz actually gets him off his feet a few seconds later. While the crowd is impressed, Earnest simply smashes him in the back with a double axehandle, forcing Chaz to drop the heavy load. Earnest then strikes with a few open-handed slaps to Chaz's face...and gets a series of heavy fists to the body that stagger him.*
Bailey: Chaz using his hands to levy an advantage for himself--no, Earnest pops him up with a press slam and nails him with a knife-edge chop as he falls! Hereford: That’s the way to do it. When you’re a big man, you press that advantage and kick his ass. Lawless: That sounded like it hurt. A lot. Chaz still standing, though, so yay! Bailey: Earnest goes for a headbutt, Chaz sees it coming and reverses into a headlock. Earnest shoves him to the ropes--NORTHERN LARIAT, and Chaz bounces off the ropes the hard way again! This could be over right here!
*Earnest drops on the smaller man over and hooks the leg. One, two...not yet, as Chaz kicks out. Earnest stands up as Chaz rubs the back of his head in pain. The larger man runs over to the opposite ropes and bounds off, crushing the Scot with a muscle bomb press. One, two...another kickout draws applause from the audience.*
Bailey: Chaz not done yet, but Earnest locks on a blatant choke and heaves him back to his feet! Hereford: What’s a choke? Lawless: Ref didn't see it. Bailey: He should use my glasses, then.
*Earnest looks poised to deliver a hanging tree slam, but as he starts the lift, Chaz swats away the hands at his neck and shoves the larger man away. He follows this with a quick big boot, but the leg gets caught by Earnest. Chaz then puts on a happy face, trying to beg off slightly by chatting the big man up. He offers a handshake...and when the bigger man takes it, likely to do more harm, Chaz turns it around on him, using the position to hit him with an arm-feed enzuigiri. Chaz takes advantage of the surprise move by locking in Ye're Under Arrest on the downed behemoth.*
Bailey: A rare submission move from Chaz Stone, and it's locked in tight! Lawless: Yeah, get 'im! Hereford: Nooo. No. No! Don’t get “im!”
*Earnest struggles back to his feet slowly while Chaz cranks the lock he has on his foe. Earnest makes it back to his base finally, with Chaz still valiantly holding on. The mood changes when Earnest jumps to his back, crushing Chaz under his weight. The Scot is forced to relinquish the hold, and is covered for a count of 2.75 before he kicks out of the awkward pin. The audience applauds the kickout as both men recover.*
Bailey: What a match we've seen so far! Lawless: I don't want it to end, Tom, this is great! Hereford: I do, and I’ve got something in mind to boot. Bailey: Both men have indeed put on a great performance, but it has to end somehow. Earnest is up first, still looking groggy from that submission attempt.
*Earnest shakes off a little damage as Chaz staggers to his feet and slaps some sense into himself. The Scot tries for an Undertaker-styled jumping lariat, but Earnest catches him, backpedals one step for bracing, and lifts him up with a military press. Chaz slides behind him, though, and locks the head on the way down. Then, with all his might, he heaves the big man off his feet and drops him with a reverse suplex. The crowd is ecstatic about this show of pure force, and Chaz goes for the cover. Barely a two count, but it was still worth it, as Earnest looks shocked.*
Bailey: Incredible move from the man from Edinburgh! Earnest looks genuinely surprised out there, and I don't blame him. Hereford: Buh! This is the LAST thing I need today! Lawless: I knew he was strong, but I didn't know he was THAT strong! Bailey: Chaz pulls him to his feet, he might be trying to end this--elbow to the gut by Earnest to stop that. Now he's got him in a fireman's carry into a BRUTAL FLAPJACK on the Scotsman! Hereford: Fantastic. Lawless: Oh God, not the face! Bailey: He's not done yet, look at this!
*Earnest heaves his opponent to his feet with very little effort. He looks for an Irish whip, but pulls Chaz back to him for a short-arm lariat. Chaz is not all gone, however--he ducks under the swung arm and stomps at the back of Earnest's left knee, kicking out his vertical base and forcing him to one knee. From here, he quickly locks in a double chickenwing on the larger man--and begins stiffly headbutting the crap out of the back of his head.*
Bailey: Chaz Stone putting some lethal force behind those headbutts! Lawless: Why's he putting his face in danger like that!? Hereford: Exactly, what a rookie tactic! Bailey: Geeez...all I know is, it's working, as Earnest is grimacing with each blow. He can't take too much more of this as he drops to his hands and knees. Chaz bounds off the ropes--ooof, he just planted that size 16 upside Earnest's head, and he's down. Lawless: That had to suck, right there. Bailey: Chaz is headed to the top rope--he wants to finish this now! Chaz: ALBA GU BRATH! Hereford: I’ll be right back… Lawless: Hey, where're you going, Jason? *As Chaz waits on the ringpost for his larger foe to stand...Jason Hereford, like a bolt of lightning, leaps to the apron and shoves him off the top, sending him crashing to the mat. The ref sees all this and calls for the bell. The crowd pours down bile upon him for his actions, wanting to see the biggest man put down again.*
Bailey: Now what was that for? Lawless: Whatever the reason, he just got Earnest disqualified from the match! Bailey: Looks like that's not all he wants--he wants to face Chaz Stone right here and now! Lawless: Well of course! He has the advantage of surprise--this is a smart move.
*The ref tries to stop him from entering the ring, but a simple forearm to the face takes care of that. Earnest rolls out of the ring, hoping to find penance for his damage elsewhere, but Jason leaps on the downed Scotsman, raining down blows a-plenty. Chaz does his best to cover up, looking for an opening.*
Bailey: This is bad news, Hereford's giving him the business out there! Lawless: Hey, I like seeing two handsome guys roll around and be rough! Bailey: Hereford jumps up, starts jawjacking with him. Wasn't that enough? Come on!
*Hereford starts slapping the Scot's head as he gets back to a base, berating him with each blow. He grabs a front facelock on the man when he's bent over, but Chaz pushes him off with such force that he has no choice but to bounce off the ropes...and right into a Seattle Spinebuster. The crowd cheers again as Chaz follows up on the signature slam by signalling for his finisher, the Edinburgh Crush. He hoists the man onto his shoulder, but Hereford worms out and hits the deck, scrambling under the ring ropes and to the ramp.*
Bailey: Looks like he can dish it out, but he can't take it. Lawless: Nonsense--he's saving himself for this Sunday's match, obviously. Bailey: Well, it looks like he's going to have one Hell of a fight on his hands against Chaz Stone, then. He may want to rethink his strategy. Lawless: No matter the case, I can't wait to see these two face off again this Sunday.
*Hereford, selling the hurting back, jawjacks with the big Scot, telling him "You'll regret that later." Chaz, leaning on the ring ropes nonchalantly, holds his hand up, indicating his foe was thisclose to tasting the canvas. We fade to commercial.*
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Post by C. M. Synthy on Sept 4, 2008 14:56:10 GMT -5
Bailey: It's been a very interesting night to say the least. We've had the Olympus Siblings' review of their 'doppelgangers', the business between Maxx Awesome and Coltrane being taken to a new level, and the promo debuts of a few new faces! I wonder what will happen next! Lawless: More half-naked men for me to fantasize over. Except they aren't HALF naked in my fanatasies... Bailey: I wonder if the FCC have canceled us yet. *Metallica's "Saint Anger" bursts out in a tumultuous pounding as The Innocent's Rosie appears. Announcer: Weighing in a 200 pounds and standing at 5'11, she is a member of The Innocent, ROSIE! Lawless:Who'da thunk a chick with a name like that would be so evil? Bailey: Not to be the mean one here, but... O'Donnel? Lawless: Touche. Bailey: Anyway, this match is sure to be a Hellfire and Brimstone case, considering the three very brutal women involved. Lawless: Hellfire and Brimstone? Did Kane get a sex change?! Bailey:Not even going to bother dignifying that with a response. *sigh* *In the ring, Rosie's flexing and posturing as she waits for her opponents.** Suddenly the lights flare to violet and black, as Otep's Ghostflowers drips from the speakers.
And She's a Killer... And She's a Keeper....Announcer: Weighing in at 144 and standing in at 5'7, she is Synthy! ERIS! Synthy steps out, hitting a cocky stance even as she smirks to the crowd, bruised face shining in the lights.Bailey: As if giving up the size and weight advantage to both of her opponents weren't enough, Synthy still looks as if suffering from her match with Chick Aura. Lawless: Argh, knowing this chick, she probably LIKES being all bruised and sore! Bailey: Jennie- WHAT THE HECK!? *Whatever reprimand Bailey was going to pay to Lawless, it gets cut short. As Synthy hit the center of the ramp, the massive Chick Aura came out of nowhere and tackled Eris to the harsh metal ground!
Chick has mounted Synthy and begun to the smaller woman's head into the ground with a flurry of agression!*Bailey: WHAT A CHEAP MOVE! Lawless: Cheap? Nah, she's just taking advantage! *Aura's punches are landing squarely on Eris' face. Rosie stands in the ring, watching excitedly at the violence. Synthy manages to land an elbow to Aura's jaw, but the momentum sends both of them tumbling down the ramp in an embrace of brutality. They both bash into the side of the ring.*Bailey: This is insane! both of these women have an entrenched rancor against the other, but they may end up taking it much too far! Lawless: Why can't you just say they hate each other like a normal person...? *The bell can suddenly be heard reverberating throughout the arena, above people's cries at this show of viciousness.*Announcer: Um... the referee has stated that due to a countout.. the winner of this contest... ROSIE! .. Um.. Lawless: That stupid newbie ref again!? They never entered the ring! Bailey: Rosie's the only one not complaining! Lawless: Considering how the other two are STILL trying to rip each other's head off... *Eris and Aura have both stood and are now going at each other full force! Their brawl is still being watched by the 'victorious', ultra-gleeful Rosie, who walks over and snatches Finkel's microphone almost immediately.*Bailey: And apparently Rosie has something to say. Lawless: Oh good... Rosie: Yeah I knew it... I absolutely knew it! Neither of those two skanks having that hissy fit out there is ready to get into the ring with me! You see, look at em both, fighting like idiots, just so they don't have to get into the ring with me. Of course, they should be grateful that they both decided to just duke it out with each other, because if either one of them had gotten in this here ring, I would've smacked em so hard, their faces would've caved in! *She flashes a huge sneer, as the crowd boos.*Lawless: Why did Colvin hire her again?! Bailey: Why does Colvin do anything Jenny? Rosie: Yeah yeah... like I give two shits what you brainless morons have to think! Now you see, since those two broads decided to scamper away like the ugly little rats they are, I've decided that I'll go ahead and take this time to address that little gutter trash prostitute, Alexa King. Alexa, you're the biggest waste of skin, silicon, and saline that I've ever laid my eyes on! All you do is hang out with your punk of a boy toy, while talking about training tto get into the ring yourself. Well Alexa... I don't buy that one bit! You're nothing but a tramp of a valet who wouldn't last five seconds in the ring with someone like me. Hell, you'd be lucky I didn't knock you out as soon as you stepped inside! *The crowd's booing grows a bit louder, as Rosie gives an bigger looking smirk on her ugly face.*Rosie: But I guess we'll find out just how good you are in the ring Alexa... personally, I'm not getting my hopes up. A little skank like you shouldn't even make me a break a sweat, while I, on the other hand, should be able to break pretty much anything and everything inside your damn body! So Alexa, if I were you, and thank god I'm not, I'd go kiss that man bitch of your's goodbye, go pray to whatever gods that you happen to believe in, if any, and make arrangements for your proceeding funeral, because I GURANTEE you honey, once you step into the ring with a bitch like me, you won't ever be the same again! Lawless: The censors seem to always be working overtime when Rosie's on the scene. Bailey: No surprises there. *The woman tosses the microphone down, as the crowd boos again, Rosie flashing a rather angry smile, before holding up her fists, as meanwhile it appears that Synthy and Chick have brawled off to the backstage area. Floods of security guards and personnel race after them as the camera fades.*
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Post by ShugaToKoshinryo on Sept 4, 2008 19:10:41 GMT -5
*The camera appears backstage. White background, with a cherry blossom tree. Stormy-looking clouds as well. Painted canvas. What would be a normal elegant painted back ground is tainted by a set of Victorian-style dolls staring from a corner. Standing in front of this macabre canvas is a pair of women. Both are quite unusually styled, dressed as if dolls themselves. Shuga and Koshinryo have reappeared.
The doll-like forms, one as curvaceous as the other is petite. Utterly white hands encircle each the other. They begin to speak.*
Koshinryo: Why we are here...
Shuga: Why you should run and hide...
Koshinryo: Why there are soot black clouds overhead...
Shuga: Why the ground beneath you trembles
Koshinryo: Why the caged bird dies
Shuga: Why the little girls like to cry
Koshinryo: Why the darkness is needed
Shuga: Why the red stains the horizon
Koshinryo: Why we were sent
Shuga: Why we shall remain.
Koshinryo: Why WIG the fed
Shuga: Is going to sweetly hurt
Koshinryo: Like a babe, it needs to be corrupted
Shuga: Because total purity does not exist
Koshinryo: It is the ultimate evil that taints those who seek it.
Shuga: Purity in turn, is a corrupter. The sin that begins with...
Koshinryo: .. a quest for moral righteousness.
Shuga: We are only doing what is natural
Koshinryo: The natural urges that bring us to flame
Shuga: WIG, the fed lacks the darkness
Koshinryo: It has the hardcore, it has the love of pain in others...
Shuga: Insanity in plenty, of that we take delight
Koshinryo: But it lacks an essential taste
Shuga: A taste it wholly deserves
Koshinryo: And as we laugh toward heaven and hell
Shuga: An essential taste will prevail..
Koshinryo & Shuga: A taste for the macabre
Shuga: We can be that darkness in the pitch black night
Koshinryo: The horror that brings the natural order in sight
Shuga: Bring out the Chaos that urges us to fight..
Koshinryo: Because without it, Order would not be exaxtly right
Shuga: Like the velvet dark without lacy light
Koshinryo: The crow and the raven will join side by side in flight
Shuga: And not a single soul will be able to stop it.
Koshinryo: Not a rose
Shuga: a scarred heart
Koshinryo: a facade
Shuga: a fist
Koshinryo: a blood pearl
Shuga: or a queen
Koshinryo: It doth not matter if you're a quiet beast, an arrogance afficianido, nor a bestial innocent...
Shuga: Or even a frail rainbow
Koshinryo: In short.. none of you come close to the dreamy nightmare..
Shuga: None will realize the intoxicating bliss that is about to happen
Koshinryo: But they will feel the pretty blood rage..
Shuga: Shame, shame, shame, tut, tut, tut...
Koshinryo: So, speak wickedly! it is better far
Shuga: To rule by hate than fear
Koshinryo: Speak wickedly; let no easy word mar
Koshinryo and Shuga: The wickedness we may do here!
[shadow=maroon,left,3,300]Shuga.//.\\.//.\\ Koshinryo[/shadow]
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Post by James E. Colvin on Sept 6, 2008 13:13:12 GMT -5
*The door of an office opens, and we see James E. Colvin sitting behind a desk.
James: Hello there W*I*G fans. I would like to thank you for making Date with Destiny a huge success. W*I*G is going better than I would have ever dreamed. I would also like to congradulate the four individuals who earned title shots at Parade of Champions. You deserve them. But thats not why I am here. I have three major announcements for Parade of Champions.
Colvin clears his throat and shuffles some papers on his desk.
James: The first being about one of the matches we saw at Date with Destiny that ended in a fishy manner, and that match is Vin Beverly vs. Andy Duke. I feel that the fans have been cheated out a great match not once but twice. So, at Parade of Champions the two of you will fight again. But this time, Alexa King will be barred from ringside, just so neither man has any distractions.
Colvin gets out a briefcase, opens it, and takes more paper out.
James: These next two are related, but both are very official. Anyone who can read can see that this next event is called Parade of Champions, but right now we only have 1 championship match. Well, not anymore. At the PPV, there will be two other champions crowned. Well, actually 3. In our first of the two matches, it will be an over the top battle royal with as many women who want to compete. If you're a woman and you want in, you're in. Just give me your request..in writing. The winner of that battle royal will be the first ever W*I*G Womens Champion.
Colvin puts that piece of paper down, and takes another from his ever growing stack.
James: And if that wasn't enough, we have another match. 4 teams. 3 different matches in 1. 1 team will be left standing. Thats right...and Ultimate Endurance match. Meaning, 4 teams will enter the match. There will always be two legal men at a time. Tags can be made by any legal man to any non-legal man, regardless of team. Once one legal man loses, either by pinfall, submission or DQ, he and his team member are eliminated, and the match will restart with 3 teams, but it willl have a new stipulation that will not be known until the match starts. The same will happen again until there are two teams. Then those two teams will fight in a new match with new stipulations until there is just 1 team. That 1 team will be the first ever W*I*G Tag Team Champions! I will be needing 4 teams for that, so the first 4 to submit written requests will be granted a spot. Thank you, and goodbye.
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The White Boys
Opener
First Ever WIG Tag Team Champions
Rammer Jammer, Yellowhammer, give 'em hell, Alabama!
Posts: 36
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Post by The White Boys on Sept 7, 2008 10:01:07 GMT -5
*We open up on W*I*G’s interview area. John Cena is there standing behind the counter with the White Boys, both of whom look very happy. Justin has his signature guitar with him.*
Cena: Hello, I’m John Cena, and whoever is mailing me merchandise of John Cena the wrestler needs to stop it! It’s not funny! And, why in the hell would you send me THREE COPIES OF THE MARINE!!!!? I don’t even want one copy!!!!
Jason: *pretending to clear his throat* AHEM!!!!
Cena: Sorry. Anyway, I am here with the White Boys, and you two seem very happy!
Jason: Oh, we’re happier then pigs in mud! We beat L. Rey and James “Magnum” Constance at Date With Destiny! We beat them twice in a row! And, we finally got revenge on those two assholes!
Justin: Don’t forget that they now don’t like each other!
Jason: Yes! Of course! Not only did we beat them, but we somehow got them to fight amongst themselves! Oh boy! This is great!
Cena: So, I assume this thing between you two and them is not over!
Jason: What!? Can you believe he just asked me that, Justin?
Justin: Am I shocked and flabbergasted!?
Jason: On the contrary! It is quite over! You see, we’ve beaten them twice in a row and in our own match! We have won the war! There is nothin’ for us to prove against them! I mean, hell! Everyone knows that we can beat them! You know it. I know it. Justin knows it. The fans know it. Tom Bailey knows it. Jeannie Lawless knows it.
Justin: Thanks for the photos, Jeannie, by the way!
Cena: Photos!?
Justin: She sent us some. And, what she did with the Confederate Flag can be seen as very disgraceful, but I don’t care because GODDAMN! She was hot!
Jason: Will you shut up!? I’m talkin’ here!
Justin: Sor-ry!
Jason: Now, where was I?
Justin: Jeannie Lawless knows it.
Jason: Right. James E. Colvin knows it. The Latin Lovers know it. Tristan Hades knows it. His sisters Lexi and Synthy know it. Andy Duke knows it. Alexa King knows it. Coltrane knows it. The Innocent knows it.
*Justin slaps Jason’s back.*
Jason: Sorry. EVERYONE in the locker room knows it. Even Magnum and L. Rey know it. There is nothin’ for us to prove by beatin’ them again. So, it is time for us to move on to bigger and better thangs.
Cena: And, what would those bigger and better things be?
Jason: Why, the W*I*G Tag Team Titles of course! It is time for us to reach up and grab the brass rang! It is time for us to prove that me and my brother are the best tag team in W*I*G! It is time for us to prove that we are the best athletes, the best fighters, and the best wrestlers in this whole damn company! It is time for us to prove that our Southern ways are not inferior to the ways of the North, or the West, or the Whatever, but rather that our Southern are equal…
Justin: No! Superior!
Jason: Yes! You are right brother, and I am sorry that I underestimated us. It is time for us to prove that our Southern ways can be superior to the ways of everyone else! And, we’re not here to say that everyone should be followin’ the ways of the South. Honestly, we respect other peoples’ cultures and their rights to practice them. We only want to show that the South is not the genital wart of the world that everyone has portrayed us to be! We want the show the world that the South can be just as good or better! We want to show the world that the SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN!!!!
Justin: HALLELUJAH AND AMEN!!!!
*There’s a long pause.*
Cena: And, you think winning the W*I*G Tag Team Titles prove all that.
Jason: No, not really, but it wouldn’t hurt.
Cena: Okay, so you two are officially putting yourselves into the Ultimate Endurance Match for the W*I*G Tag Team Titles.
Jason: Uh, yeah! Have you not been listenin’ to a word I’ve been sayin’!?
Justin: Seriously! He did this whole “South Will Rise Again” spiel and everythang!
Jason: Just to clarify for anyone who didn’t get all that like Mr. Cena here—we are officially putting our names on the bill for the Ultimate Endurance Match for the W*I*G Tag Team Titles.
Cena: Okay, so what do you think of this new type of match?
Jason: Honestly, we don’t care what match Mr. Colvin makes for the Tag Titles. It could be a pig catchin’ match for all we care. We will win it no matter what!
Cena: Well, there you have it—The White Boys have put themselves into the Ultimate Endurance Match for the W*I*G Tag Team Titles. And, we’ll be right back after a word from our sponsor.
*Cut to commercial*
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Coltrane
Opener
First Ever W*I*G* Champion
Posts: 29
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Post by Coltrane on Sept 7, 2008 14:04:53 GMT -5
*Coltrane stands in a darkened room, presumably, backstage at the W*I*G-Sphere. The room is illuminated by a single bulb that hangs over head. Coltrane steps under the light & begins to laugh.*
Coltrane: Now, it's finally happening. I can go forward & face my destiny. I have proven it to everyone that stood in my path. My opponents in the Wild Card Match, the funk-dancing fool, The supposed "Awesome One"... & now, 3 more men stand between me & my goal of being the first-ever W*I*G Champion. A goal I have longed to obtain since my arrival here. I have disposed of all the undeserving individuals who also sought that title & these three will be no different. In my first W*I*G PPV match at Stuff Of Legends, I obtained the right to call myself the #1 contender for that title. At Date With Destiny, I maintained that right by destroying a fool who many were pegging their hopes on to be the first-ever W*I*G Champion. Now, Mr. Colvin has thrown another block in my path. It's as if he desires to see the hardest working man in W*I*G fail! Nobody wants this more than me, to prove how I deserve to be here among the biggest names in the sport today! Yet James Colvin seems to always stack the deck against me. Well nobody knows more about struggling to get to the top than I do. Parade of Champions will be another chance for me to prove why I deserve to be alongside the men & women here in W*I*G & moreover, why I am the greatest of them all.
Exner & Joshua, it seems, are both on a mission to "clean up" W*I*G; commendable behaviour to be sure, but I have done more for this organisation... FOR THIS SPORT, than either of them have ever accomplished! I'm so damn sick of the gimmicky guys in wrestling. Those who perform not wrestling but "Sports-Entertainment". That is exactly why men like Sky Monix & THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) are no longer among us. Like those two, Exner & Joshua value their words over their actions. But the worst of my trio of opponents has to be Jason Hereford. He made his name elsewhere as a high-living moron, now that he has fallen he has come to W*I*G, perhaps in the hopes of returning to his former grandiose status in that other organisation. He doesn't know what it means to work hard to get anywhere! He can claim that he's learning now the hard way, but he still spouts dumb catchphrases & moronic lines. Another man who doesn't let his actions do the talking. That is why I will dispose of them all! Like Sky Monix & THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) before them, these men will be leaving W*I*G on a stretcher, while I the only true saviour of W*I*G... The only saviour of WRESTLING... rise to the top to claim the ultimate prize, claim my destiny... The W*I*G World Heavyweight Championship!
*Cut to a promo for Parade of Champions.*
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Post by James "Magnum" Constance on Sept 7, 2008 16:20:04 GMT -5
*We open up on the W*I*G locker room. L. Rey is sitting on a bench strumming his guitar, playing a nice melodic mariachi song. Suddenly, James “Magnum” Constance walks up to L. Rey. L. Rey stops playing his guitar. He looks up at Magnum with an annoyed look.*
L. Rey: What do you want?
Constance: I came to apologize. I’m sorry for costing us the match against the White Boys. I didn’t see you on the turnbuckle going for a guitar, and if I had, I sure as hell wouldn’t have whipped Jason White into the ropes and knocked you off.
L. Rey: Is that all? Or, do ju want an apology for the slap I gave ju?
Constance: No. I deserved that, and you had every right to be angry at me.
L. Rey: Fine.
Constance: Does that mean we’re forgiven?
L. Rey: I guess.
Constance: Good. Now, I was thinking that we could challenge for the W*I*G Tag Team Titles.
L. Rey: No.
Constance: What?
L. Rey: I don’t think that’s a good idea. I think it would be for the best if ju and I went our separate ways.
Constance: What!? Why!? We make a great team!?
L. Rey: Are ju loco, man!? Do ju know what the hell has been goin’ on between the two of us for the past month or so!? We lost to the White Boys! TWICE!!!! IN A ROW!!!! And, ju have been making huge mistakes that I end up paying for! Why in the hell would I want to go through that!?
Constance: Look! I know things haven’t gone well for us! But, that won’t happen from now on! I am on top of that, and I won’t let that happen!
L. Rey: Well…*long pause* No, I’m sorry. I can’t.
*L. Rey stands up and tries to walk away, but Magnum grabs him by his arm and turns him around.*
Constance: Why not!?
L. Rey: Because I don’t trust ju anymore!
Constance: What!? You think I would betray you or attack you simply because of a few mistakes!?
L. Rey: No…well…not right now.
Constance: What!?
L. Rey: What I mean is that, right now, I can’t trust ju to NOT make a mistake and screw up. And, if I keep teaming with ju and ju keep screwing up, then I’m afraid I’ll lose more and more of my trust in ju to the point that I will become paranoid and suspicious of ju. And, then I will start thinking that ju might attack me or what not. And, when that happens, ju will my enemy. Ju are a nice guy. I like ju. But, I don’t ju to become my enemy.
Constance: What? You’re afraid that I will hurt you?
L. Rey: No. I’m afraid that I will hurt ju.
*Magnum laughs, but L. Rey just stares at him. Then, Magnum nervously stops.*
L. Rey: I’m sorry, but ju have proven to me that ju cannot be a good partner for me. And, I am rather a loner. So, I think it would be best if we stopped teaming together.
Constance: Wait! There’s got to be some way for me to win your trust back.
L. Rey: I’m afraid not.
Constance: Oh, c’mon! There has to be someway!
L. Rey: No. Ju wouldn’t like it.
Constance: Wait! You said that I wouldn’t like it! That means there has to be a way!
L. Rey: Well…there is. But, ju wouldn’t accept it. So, forget it.
Constance: Oh, c’mon! I’ll do anything to your trust back! Just say it!
L. Rey: *getting frustrated* No.
Constance: Tell me what it is, and I’ll do it!
L. Rey: *getting more frustrated* No!
Constance: C’mon, L. Rey! Say it! Tell me what it is!
L. Rey: *getting angry* No!
Constance: SAY IT, DAMMIT!!!! SAY IT!!!!
L. Rey: WRESTLE ME!!!!
Constance: What?
L. Rey: Wrestle me.
Constance: You want to wrestle me.
L. Rey: Yes.
Constance: I don’t understand.
L. Rey: Ju see, people are liars. They put on a mask whenever they talk and meet with other people. Even when it is someone they love or know intimately, people still keep a mask. Though they reveal a little of themselves to these loved ones and close friends, the mask is still there. However, there are only two times when a person takes off his or her mask—when they are alone and when they are in fight. And, it is in a fight when people take their masks off in front of other people. It is when ju put jur safety and jur life on the line do ju truly what jur are about and what jur are truly capable of to keep jurself alive and in safety. When ju fight, that is when ju are truly jurself, when all jur hopes, fears, insecurities, quirks, and personalities are out in the open for anyone to see. When ju fight, people can truly see who ju are and if they can trust ju with anything. Fighting ju is the only way that I can tell if I can truly trust ju. It is the only way for me to even consider trust ju again. That is the only way ju can win my trust back. Now, can ju be able to do that?
*There is a long pause.*
L. Rey: I didn’t think so. Ju are a nice guy. But, ju are too nice. Ju will not fight anyone ju like. It is a weakness. I’m sorry, but this partnership is over.
*L. Rey walks away.*
Constance: I’ll do it.
*L. Rey stops and turns around.*
L. Rey: What!?
Constance: I’ll do it. If that’s the only way I can win your trust back, then I’ll do.
L. Rey: Fine. Let’s do it at Parade Of Champions. I’ll see you then.
*L. Rey walks away, and we cut to commercial.*
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Post by James Bon Jovi on Sept 7, 2008 18:28:33 GMT -5
*Walking backstage, James Bon Jovi, dressed finely in non-wrestling garb, keeps a hand scratching his head. He turns a corner and his eyes light up—it’s the commissary, and a myriad of W*I*G staff are sitting at the tables, eating and talking amongst themselves. Straightening his hair and adjusting his shades below his eyes, he conspicuously struts down to the counter to place his order.*
James: …YO!
Cashier: Uh, hi, what can I get you sir?
James: I’m feeling VERY…VERY…*shifty eyes*…hungry. You have *shifty eyes*…lettuce…right?
Cashier: Well sure.
James: Well that’s fantastic, man! So can you do me a favor, and get me, the one…the only…JAMES BON JOVI…five pounds of your finest *shifty eyes*…lettuce?
Cashier: Yeah, hang on a second.
*The cashier departs to the back, coming back to the counter with a cardboard box full of fresh lettuce.*
Cashier: Yeah here you go…sorry, all we have is iceberg. That alright?
James: *glazed look in the eyes* Uh…hmm…well, let me ask you this…do you have any…*shifty eyes*…Pixie Stix?
Cashier: Yes we do.
James: Then give me your finest *shifty eyes*…flavor of *shifty eyes*…pixie stix!
*Going to the back again, the cashier emerges with a jar of purple-colored candy.*
Cashier: Here you go; 50 grape pixie stix. That’ll be—
*James’ eyes begin to shift constantly. He pulls a few hundred dollars out of his pants pocket and tosses them at the guy, grabbing the box and jar, turning around and running away.*
James: --KEEP THE CHANGE!
*He slips his shades over his eyes, slipping around the corner. Instantly he comes to a grinding halt, a security guard walking down the hallway and waving, looking at him.*
Guard: How’re you doing? I was just wondering if you had any—
*Biting his lower lip in terror, James Bon Jovi chucks his box and jar away, keeping a small share of his booty in hand and throwing another few hundred dollars to the guard as the vegetables and candy spill all around the floor.*
James: *his voice trailing off as he bolts down the hallway* IF ANYONE ASKS YOU DIDN’T SEE ANYYYYTHIIIING…
*James having disappeared from the camera’s view, the guard pulls out his radio.*
Guard: Um, yeah. We’re gonna need a cleanup crew down here…
*FADE OUT*
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Post by Hardcore Hensley on Sept 7, 2008 18:38:40 GMT -5
"I'll Whip Ya Head Boy" hits the W*I*G Sphere.
Howard Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen, please give a big round of applause for...Hardcore Hensley!
Tom Bailey: Hardcore Hensley now, folks.
Jeannie Lawless: Oh, yummy.
Hensley waltzes out from the back in his custom street clothes. He glances around before lowing his head, and making his way to the ring. His fans cheer him on, but he heeds them nothing. Fink hands him his microphone after he enters the ring then makes his own exit. Hensley goes straight to business.
Hensley: Joshua, Innocent! You cowards! A couple of weeks back, you leave me cut and bruised in this damn ring then last Sunday, the ringleader manages to get the best of me! I bet you're all feeling mighty big right now.
He snarls in anger.
Bailey: Of course, he's referring to the beat-down the Innocent issued upon him just before his match with Joshua at Date with Destiny.
Lawless: That bastard stole my man's spot!
Bailey: Your man?
Hensley: Joshua, you've scurried you way into the main event. You're gonna have a chance to become the first ever W*I*G Champion. I won't bullshit you. I'll let you know straight up, you don't gotta worry about me interfering come September 28th. Don't bother because believe me when I say, I hope you carry that title when the smoke clears. I don't give a damn if you do or not really, but know Hardcore Hensley has business with you and your cronies. Unfinished business! So round up the troops, or go relay that shit to your Keeper or whoever! Sooner or later, we're gonna square up and throw down!
He lets the mic fall to his side, pacing himself.
Bailey: Hensley's face is blood red.
Lawless: He doesn't sound too happy.
Hensley: I don't understand any of you. I don't have a clue what's wrong with you sons of bitches, and I'll be frank, it doesn't matter to me. Earnest, you want it again, you'll get it. I thought there was more to you than met the eye. I thought you were different than your little posse. I really did. You're not, you're as brainless and stupid as the rest of them. I got nothing for you. Rosie, I don't give a fuck, the next time we cross, I'm treating you just like everybody else!
He pauses again, staring down a nearby cameraman.
Hensley: Joshua, I'm coming for you. We're gonna rematch, and next time, I'll make sure there's no other distractions...
The mic slips from his grasp, and he rolls out of the ring. "I'll Whip Ya Head Boy" returns, and Hensley heads to the back, his head still hung, making no notion to any of his fans.
Bailey: Bold words from "The Hardcore One" as always. I can't condone female violence though.
Lawless: Please, as if Rosie even counts!
A promo for Parade of Champions follows.
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