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Post by James "Magnum" Constance on May 15, 2009 15:47:11 GMT -5
Howard Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. *James “Magnum” Constance’s music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=CR9WJToFsTsFinkel: Introducing first, coming down the aisle, at 6 feet 2 inches, weighting in at 245 pounds, from Honolulu Hawaii, by way of Detroit, Michigan—JAMES “MAGNUM” CONSTANCE. *James “Magnum” Constance comes out to a big pop. He is wearing sunglasses, a Detroit Tigers cap, a Hawaiian shirt, green tropical floral design trunks, black knee pads, and black boots. He walks to the ring as some pyro goes off and enters it. Then, he takes off his cap, shirt, and sunglasses and hands them to the referee, who hands them to the timekeeper. He looks focused and angry.* Tom Bailey: Welcome back to W*I*G Vindication. Now, we are about to see James “Magnum” Constance take on “Hot Shot” Howard Heath. Jeannie Lawless: Wait!? Didn’t this match already happen? Tom: Technically, no. It never officially started. Jeannie: Oh yeah. That’s right. TNT, Damien Blood, and L. Rey interfered. *“Hot Shot” Howard Heath’s music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=-recskrzunI Finkel: And, his opponent, coming down the aisle, at 6 feet 1 inch, weighting in at 238 pounds, from San Diego, California—“HOT SHOT” HOWARD HEATH. *“Hot Shot” Howard Heath comes out the boos of the crowd. He also has on a Hawaiian shirt and is wearing black wrestling trunks, black knee pads, and white wrestling boots. He walks down to the ring and enters it. He takes off the Hawaiian shirt and hands it to the timekeeper. Magnum strangely looks at him.* Tom: Magnum staring at Heath strangely. Jeannie: Strangely? Magnum looks like he wants to kill Heath! He is obviously pissed about what happened at Attrition. Tom: You can’t blame him. Even though he won his match with Damien Blood, he got attacked by Damien afterwards and was hit by a steel chair from TNT. Jeannie: Yeah. You can tell that Magnum sees Damien and/or TNT instead of Howard Heath in that ring. *The bell ring. Both men charge at each other, but Magnum wins out with a vicious lariat that sends Heath flipping over to the mat. The crowd lets out a sympathetic groan once Heath hits the mat. However, Heath manages to get up. Unfortunately for Heath, Magnum charges at him and takes him back to the mat with a high-knee strike. Magnum then picks up Heath and hits with a double underhook piledriver.* Tom: The Big Blow to Howard Heath! Magnum is wasting no time in this match with any technical wrestling. Jeannie: Oh no! He ain’t concerned with showing off his fancy scientific wrestling skills. Magnum just wants to hurt someone. *Magnum mounts Heath and punches him in the head several times. Then, he gets up, walks over to the ropes, bounces off of them, charges back at Heath, and hits him with a knee drop to his head. Magnum then goes back to punching Heath in the head. Then, he picks up Heath, places him against the ropes, and whips him across the ring. As Heath hits the opposite ropes and bounces off of them, Magnum charges at Heath, catches him in a flapjack lift, and hits him with a cutter.* Tom: Howard Heath now feeling the Paradise Blues. Magnum is just picking him apart. Jeannie: He’s taking his time and enjoying each move he hits Heath with. This is a side of Magnum we’ve never seen. *Magnum gets up and stomps on Heath several times. Then, Magnum picks up Heath and pushes him back into a corner. Heath hits the corner with a hard thud and falls to his knees. Magnum picks up Heath, places against the turnbuckles, and hits him with a vicious knife-edge chop. A “Woo!” fills the audience. Magnum hits Heath with another chop, followed by another “Woo!” Magnum hits Heath with another chop and another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another and another, so many that the audience can’t keep up with the Woos. The referee takes some leniency with Heath by stepping in and pushing Magnum back. He then checks on Heath, but Magnum just pushes the referee out of the way. Then, he grabs Heath and whips him across the ring. Heath hits the opposite turnbuckle with a hard thud, and Magnum comes charging behind him, hitting Heath with a clothesline to the back of his head and sending him back into the corner. Magnum then pulls Heath from the corner a little and climbs up onto the second turnbuckle, pulling Heath up with him. Then, he bends Heath over and drops him to the mat with a Pepsi Plunge.* Tom: Now, Magnum hits Heath with the Texas Lightning. Jeannie: Damn! How much longer can he keep this up? Tom: Maybe he wants to knock Heath out. Jeannie: Well, Magnum better be careful. His anger could get the better of him and cause a disqualification, much like earlier in the other corner. *Magnum picks up Heath again. Then, he puts Heath up back first onto his shoulders and hits Heath with a reverse thrown inverted Death Valley driver. Magnum then rolls Heath over onto his back and pins him.* Ref: 1…2…3! *The bell rings, the crowd pops, and Magnum’s music plays.* Finkel: Here is your winner—JAMES “MAGNUM” CONSTANCE. Tom: Well, Magnum doesn’t have to worry about get disqualified now. This match is over thanks to the Ode To Tom Selleck. Jeannie: Magnum wins, but he still doesn’t seem happy about it. *Magnum gets up. The ref holds his arm up in victory, but Magnum doesn’t look happy about the victory. Suddenly, a red substance that looks like blood drops down onto Magnum and the referee. They are soon covered in red as the substance covers the mat.* Tom: Sweet Guinea Pig Of Winnipeg! Is that what I think it is!? Jeannie: Oh God! Not again! *The referee looks confused, but Magnum knows exactly what’s going on. He yells out in anger and quickly exits the ring. Magnum runs up the ramp, apparently going backstage to confront the man he knows is behind this. However, as he goes through the curtains under the Colvintron, a steel chair comes out of nowhere and hits Magnum on the head. The crowd boos as Magnum falls to the entrance stage. Then, Damien Blood walks out revealing himself as the culprit behind the blood and the steel chair shot. He is wearing shirt with a dragon on it, blue jeans, and black boots. He also pulls a microphone from his back jeans pocket.* Tom: I should have known! Damien Blood was behind this whole thing! Jeannie: What tipped you off? The blood that dropped down onto the ring like the last Damien Blood did that or him showing up on the stage because you’re as oblivious as Michael Cole. Tom: Shut up! *Damien unfolds the chair places it onto of Magnum, with the support rail right on Magnum’s throat. Then, Damien sits down, causing Magnum to be choked by the rail. He struggles get out from under the chair, but he can’t.* Tom: What the hell!? Damien has Magnum trapped under that chair! What is he up to!? Jeannie: Well, he has a microphone. So, I think he’s gonna talk to him. Or, could you not see that what with it being in front of your eyes? Tom: What is your problem? Jeannie: What’s yours, typical WWE announcer? *Damien brings the microphone to his mouth and starts to speak as Magnum continues to struggle to get out from under the chair.* Damien: Now, that I have your undivided attention, I have some things to say to you, Magnum. And, they all have to do with Attrition. Yeah, you won, but you got lucky! If I hadn’t been distracted by that stupid ass, I would have beaten your ass like that *snaps*. You see, I know why you’re so intent on beating me up. You are smitten with that tramp, Nicole Michaels. You just wanna play Superman and hope she’ll fall for you like she’s Lois Lane. Well, guess what? I don’t wrestle for the affections of some girl. I wrestle to beat the living hell out of the other guy. To prove that I am the best wrestler in whatever company I am in. And, to win titles. Now, since you are so intent on coming after me, I’ll oblige you. But, I’m only doing it to further my career. And, I will do anything to further my career, even if it means that your career is destroyed in the process. It doesn’t matter to me. So, I’m gonna give you oblige you again at Mayhem. You see, I just spoke with Reynaldo Fernandez and asked him for another match against you. And, since you got to pick the stipulation for our last match, Mr. Fernandez has allowed me to pick the stipulation for this match. It’s going to be a First Blood match. *to the audience* For you idiots out who don’t know what the hell a First Blood match is, that means the first wrestler to make his opponent bleed wins. *The crowd boos.* Damien: Hey! Don’t boo me because you people don’t know the rules. *The crowds boos Damien again.* Damien: *to Magnum* Anyway, I’m sure you know, Magnum, that I love to make people bleed. So, you’re not gonna get lucky this time. And, judging by what happened after TNT showed up at our match, I doubt he’s gonna come help you again. So, you are gonna be all alone with me and various dangerous instruments. And, if that girl Nicole shows up, I’m gonna make he bleed as well. Though, I haven’t decided if it will be from her face, if you know what I mean. *This sets Magnum off. He gets a burst of strength and pushes Damien and the chair off of him. The crowd cheers as Magnum gets up and charges at Damien. However, Damien grabs the chair and swings it around into Magnum’s abdomen. Magnum falls to his knees in pains as the crowd’s cheers turn to boos. Then, Damien gets up, folds the chair, and bashes it onto Magnum’s back. The crowd boos get louder. Damien then places his knee onto Magnum’s back, grabs his hair, and pulls Magnum back. Then, Damien gets into Magnum’s face.* Tom: Thank God! Magnum has gotten free, and…aw dammit! Jeannie: Damn! Damien Blood hits him with the chair again! And, here comes another one! Tom: Dammit! Someone needs to stop it. Jeannie: Wait! It looks like Damien has more to say. Damien: You wanna play the knight in shining armor to that girl? Well, fine! Go ahead! But, you’ve messed with the wrong dragon! You see, I will BURN you until there is nothing left for ash, bones, and cinched metal!!!! So, I’ll see you at Mayhem, Sir Gawain. *Damien lets go of Magnum’s hair and gets up. Then, he grabs the chair again, swings it around and blasts Magnum in the back again.* Tom: Son of a bitch! Damien Blood hits James “Magnum” Constance in the back again! Jeannie: And, it looks like there will be more of that at Mayhem. *Damien then leaves the entrance stage area, and we cut to commercial.*
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Post by Bros B4 Hos on May 16, 2009 2:31:03 GMT -5
*We're back in the W*I*Gsphere, and ready for another match. Already in the ring is a fairly generic looking tag team in black trunks.* Fink: In the ring, at a combined weight of 425 pounds, Steve Morris and Reggie Regan...The Laserblasters. Jeannie: Who are these guys? Tom: These two, according to my notes, are one of the up and coming tag teams on the independent scene, and W*I*G management decided to give them a chance to prove themselves here. Jeannie: Well, I hope they do well. Fink: And their opponents.... Jeannie: Who are they facing? Tom: All that my notes say is a team called "Bros B4 Hos", but doesn't list any names. *No one comes out. The Laserblasters begin talking to The Fink and the referee. Suddenly, two men in black hooded vests come out of the crowd and attack the Laserblasters. One of them is taller and wearing black and silver trunks, while the shorter teammate is wearing long silver and black tights.* Tom: Who's this? Jeannie: Maybe this is that other team. *The hooded team yells at the ref to ring the bell, and he obliges, the match begins with all four men in the ring. The hooded team remove their hoods to reveal....* Jeannie: What the...? *Andy Duke and Vin Beverly! Tom: They're 'Bros B4 Hos'? Jeannie: Where is Alexa? Or Abi? *Duke superkicks Regan. Beverly Irish whips Morris into the ropes, and then knocks him down with a devastating clothesline.* Jeannie: Duke and Beverly have completely decimated The Laserblasters! Tom: Well, I don't the Blasters were expecting to be facing a team the caliber of Duke and Beverly when they showed up tonight. Jeannie: I don't think Duke and Beverly are done. *Beverly picks up Regan onto his shoulders, as Duke climbs the to the top rope. Morris begins to get to his feet. Beverly hits an F-5 onto Regan, as Duke comes off the top rope with a cross body onto Morris. Both men go for pins* 1 2 3 Fink: Here are your winners...Bros B4 Hos? Tom: There are so many questions that I have? What is going on here? Jeannie: Shhh....Maybe we'll get some answers. *Duke is given a microphone.* Duke: Hey. I'm sure you all have a lot of questions,so just sit tight. Our last few showings here in W*I*G haven't been our strongest...for a couple of reasons. Our individual performances in the Colvin Cup were the final straw. So my main man Vin and I decided we needed a change. *Duke hands the mic to Vin* Vin: That's right. As The Dukester said, our performances had been suffering for a couple of reasons, and as you can see, those reasons are no longer with us. Duke: It happened in Japan. Vin: Like most good things. Duke: Us two, we figured out that we truthfully had no real reason to dislike each other. It was girls, especially one girl in particular, that was the root of all our problems. Really, us two, we're pretty cool with each other now. Vin: So, we told the ladies to hit the road like a slap in the face. And now, we're more focused than ever before. Duke: So, we're gonna say this once, and only once. The two of us, we're gonna rule this tag team division, no ifs, an's, or buts. All you only have one choice. Vin: You either step aside, or get stepped on. *He drops the mic, and the two exit the ring. As they leave, their new music plays. Jeannie: That answer your questions? Tom: Yeah, but at the same time, now I have even more to ask. Jeannie: I'm just glad they seem to be available now. Tom: Oh please!
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Post by Highland Diamonds on May 16, 2009 8:22:39 GMT -5
*Cut to…..a tartan pattern. Angus kilt is draped over the camera lens, and shouting can be heard from behind the cover.*
Angus: Just say tha bloody line!
Todd: Why do you need me to do it anyway?
Warror: Because belittling the most annoying interviewer we can find is our shtick! Now get to it! And why is the red “On” light flashing?
Angus:….sigh….Start ovah.
Todd:The things I do for money…..Ahem….The following, is The Highland Diamonds Official Champions State Of Address of W*I*G.
*The kilt is whipped off, to reveal The Diamonds sat behind a makeshift desk of a wooden table covered in a cloth in their locker room, their belts on the table, propped to display the centerpieces to the camera. A few pieces of paper litter the table..*
Warrior: W*I*G? What’s a W*I*G?
Angus:….Tha promotion we’re in?
Warrior:..Isn’t that Wig?
Angus:….
Warrior: I always thought it was Wig. I’m sure it is.
Angus: Ahem!
Warrior: Ah yes, the Address. *Warrior coughs and shuffles some papers*
Warrior: Greetings, people of the Pro Wrestling Wig! I am your Tag Team Champion The Emerald Warrior, and next to me is your other tag teamp champion, Angus MacAngus.
Angus: As we’re new ta W*I*G, we have a few issues ta raise with some of tha roster, an’ a few comments ta direct their way.
Warrior: Thus we are taking time out of our busy schedule of partying, drinking, and pretending to train to bring to you this, our official address.
Angus: Numbah One on tha list, tha former W*I*G Heavyweight Champion, Coltrane.
Warrior: Our dearest Karma Chameleon that is Coltrane. You sir are neither our enemy nor friend. However we advise you to pay more attention to the Don’t Try This At Home ads and not imitate what you see us do in the ring at work, home or school. Stay safe. Don’t copy us, ya jerk!
Angus: Numbah Two, tha current W*I*G Heavyweight Champion, Synthy Eris.
Warrior: Synthy, clearly you haven’t learned. Heavyweight titles are for men. Women are for the eye candy and the Womens Division. And if you’re a heavyweight then either you’ve had an awful lot of liposuction, or you must be made of the most dense substance known to mankind. The latter seems more likely, as such density would be in keeping with your…ahum…..intellectual prowess.
Angus: Numbah Three, tha former Tag Team Champions, Tha White Boys.
Warrior: Ahh….rednecks. Such simple folk. So straightforward and easy to understand in their xenophobic, clandestine, very close family-oriented ways. Jason, Justin, even if we did combine your names you still wouldn’t even be able to match Double J. Sure, you almost certainly can sing better, as who can sing worse, but when it comes to the ring? Please kiddies, stay out of our way. We don’t want to have to cover your red necks in red blood. You didn’t defend the titles in over 100 days, if you don’t challenge for them in as long then you should be fine. Just keep on drinking moonshine in the trailer park.
Angus: Numbah Four…Ah, ‘ere’s some guys we have history wi’h- James Bon Jovi An’ Tha Maxx.
Warrior: James, I am truly sorry. I really am. I knew that throwing you off the scaffold back in EWT was bound to mess you up, but I didn’t expect it to make you think you were a Rockstar. They must have played too much of that Nickelback song while you were recovering in hospital. It’s a shame, and if it weren’t for the fact you made a couple of cute little insults about Angus’ government on your little internet show, I’d have been willing to use some of my vast fortune from my Pervuian mineral mines to help pay for your psychiatric treatment. As it is, my generosity is now withdrawn. And Maxx, you may be “The” Maxx, butI know “A” Maxx. That Maxx being the Maxximum amount of humiliation that we’ll inflict on you if and when we meet! You see what I did there?
Angus: Number Five…I think I’ll take this one.
Warrior: Number Five, former EWT World Tag Team Champions Team Ireland!
Angus: We’ve faced ye what, twice noo? An beaten ye both times, as I remember. Aidan, ye are a pretty good athlete but, honestly, you’re basically a cheap knockoff of me, only wearin’ green tights instead o’ tartan. Sean, mistah ladies man, You’re definitely very ladylike cause as I recall, ye hit like a woman, and ye take a punch like a woman. An’ I don’t mean like tha fierce Glaswegian women what can ootdrink a horse an’ punch down a door. Which leads me onto Maeve. Just tell me this lad, how long did tha operation last? Quite how your Coach can live with that embarrassment’s beyond me. An’ coachy, lay off the pies and get doon tha gym, you’re startin’ ta look like a lump o’ haggis. Still, not as big a lump as that Malone. Big, tall, got rocks for brains. If they were druid standin’ stone type o rocks it wouldn’t be so bad, theyre huge an fancy like. But honestly, ah reckon a pebble could finish a Sudoku quicker than ye. There’s a few decent wrestlers in your crew, but not decent enough. I would have a soft spot for ye, bein fellow Celts an all, but ye’re a bit of an embarrassment ta be honest. Work at it, cometa us fer pointers, an’ ye might get somewhere. Until then I don’t think ye’ll do much against us.
Warrior:….I’m impressed Angus. I didn’t know you could get so trash talky.
Angus: I’m a man o’ many talents. Next on tha list, numbah six, Jason Hereford.
Warrior: I like your surname. Even if it is the same as a rather….sub-par….English town. Again I pity you, Jason. Not only do you share a forename with one of the Hick Heroes, you basically lost everything when we beat you. We only wanted your titles and dignity, not your entire fortune as well. But it certainly helped. Still, there’s a pang of guilt there so maybe sometime, we’ll let you get an opportunity to hold our titles. You might even get to polish them too, I know you need some cash and any work’s good work, right? If you don’t want paying in cash, I’m sure Angus has some Scotch or whisky he can give you.
Angus: An’ tha final item on tha list….Team Raft Shack.
Warrior:Ah yes, Raftshack. What IS a Raft Shack? A buoyant shed? An en-suite in a beaver’s dam? Whatever it is you tell us, and try to tell us in English please, I don’t speak Lobotomised. Faboon, you seem to have some grasp of English, I’ll lend you a phrasebook. I’ll just need to make sure it’s an authentic one, and not a Monty Python Hungarian Phrasebook. Other guy….your hair hurts my eyes. Honestly. Just, stop it. Get rid of the dye, I don’t want to be wrestling a guy with candyfloss for a head. And you know what, we wil be wrestling you lads, cause we accept your challenge. You’re bigger Wackos than Jacko, and not half as good dancers. And the dance of the squared circle is something that I can do even better than my mean foxtrot, so be prepared to get voted off from the competition. Still, you’ll have done some Dancing With the Stars, so at least you’ll equal Stacy Keibler.
Angus: Tha match can take place at MAYhem, if ya like. If ye don’t want ta wait, that’s fine, but we ‘re after our PPV payday, so even if ye don’t want it then we’re getting’ on tha PPV. Ye threw down tha gauntlet
Warrior: A very fuzzy and odd-smelling gauntlet, coming from you two.
Angus: And we picked it up. Time ta put the money where your mouths are lads. Ye’ve got all the energy in tha world, but that won’t mean nothin’ once we do exactly what we did last time- leave ye oot cold.
Warrior: So see you some time over the next few weeks.
*Warrior shuffles his papers again and both sit back in their chairs. A pause*.
Warrior:…..Say your other line Todd! TODD! TODD! TODD SAY YOUR OTHER LINE!
Todd: Geeze, gimme a chance why doncha?
Warrior: Don’t say why doncha! Cotton Candy Man out of Raftshack said that! Just say your line!
Todd:….This has been the Highland Diamonds Official Champions Sate of Address. Thank you for watching.
*The kilt is thrown back over the camera.*
Warrior *affecting a deeper "voiceover guy" voice*: The preceding announcement paid for by the Highland Diamonds themselves cause not one other bastard would put the money up.
*Cut to a video highlighting the Womens Division.*
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The White Boys
Opener
First Ever WIG Tag Team Champions
Rammer Jammer, Yellowhammer, give 'em hell, Alabama!
Posts: 36
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Post by The White Boys on May 16, 2009 13:56:20 GMT -5
*We open on John Cena, standing behind the counter of the W*I*G Interview area. Cena is wearing a W*I*G shirt, black jeans, and white shoes.*
John Cena: Hello, I’m John Cena, and no, I don’t know if the other John Cena really has a concussion. Though, I doubt it! It’s called “kayfabe” people!!!! Anyway, what I am about to show all you W*I*G fans out there took place at Attrition. It features the former W*I*G World Tag Team Champions, The White Boys, talking with their new manage Isaiah “Pitbull” Jefferson. Let’s take a look.
*We cut to the W*I*G locker room. We see the White Boys, Jason and Justin, sitting on a bench. They still have on their black tights with the Confederate Flag down the legs and black boots they wore in the Ten Team Gauntlet, and they look defeated. Then, Pitbull walks in, wearing a black track suit and white sneakers and holding a bullhorn. He puts the bullhorn down on the bench.*
Pitbull: How ya boys feelin’?
Justin: Like shee-it! I can’t believe we lost! Dammit!
*Justin jumps up and kicks the bench.*
Justin: All that trainin’! All that preparin’! An’, it got us nothin’! Dammit! *turns around to face Pitbull* Though, I ain’t blamin’ you, Pitbull!
Pitbull: Well, ya should. I let ya down, boys. I guess I didn’t work ya hard enough.
Jason: No, Justin’s right! It ain’t your fault! We just got lazy! We shoulda been fightin’ an’ not vacationin’ like we was! You didn’t let us down! We let you down! Hell, we let ourselves down!
Pitbull: Well, I’m glad ta see that this loss has humbled y’all. So, what are we gonna do about it?
Justin: We can’t do shit!
Pitbull: What do ya mean, boy!?
Justin: We didn’t have a rematch clause in our contract. We can’t fight fer our titles again.
Pitbull: So, y’all just gonna give up!
Justin: Well, what can we do!?
Pitbull: Good lord! Y’all ain’t humbled! Y’all has been defeated!
Jason: Well, of course! We lost!
Pitbull: So, what!? Y’all just gonna sit there and feel sorry fer yerselves!? Y’all just gonna be a bunch of whiny babies!? Y’all just gonna mope around an’ bitch an’ moan an’ cry an’ whine an’ just be a couple of losers!? GODDAMMIT!!!! WHAT DA HELL IS WRONG WIT YA, BOYS!?
Jason: We lost our titles, Pitbull!
Justin: An’, we can’t get a rematch!
Pitbull: So!? Yeah, ya lost. An’, there ain’t gonna be no rematch. Big whoop! But, y’all can’t be a bunch of pussies right now! This is da perfect opportunity ta prove that y’all aren’t what they say y’all are! If y’all lay down an’ die right now, then everythang they done said about y’all will be proven right! They’ve done called ya cowards! They’ve done called ya yella! They’ve done called ya lazy! An’ weak an’ overrated an’ undeservin’ of even workin’ in this fed! Now is not da time ta prove ‘em right! It is da time ta prove ‘em wrong! Y’all gotta be da best that y’all can be!!!! Y’all gotta be more confrontational an’ violet an’ angry! Y’all gotta shut ‘em da hell up! Y’all gotta make ‘em wish they neva said a damn thang about y’all! Y’all gotta answa every insult wit a fist! Y’all gotta answa every fist wit a boot! Y’all gotta answa every boot wit a steel chair! When they hit y’all, y’all gotta hit back ten fold!!!! Not an eye fer an eye but a whole damn face fer an eye!!!!
Jason: Dammit! You’re right! *gets up* We can’t be all emo an’ shit! We gotta be more vengeful! We gotta prove ta ‘em that we deserve ta be champions again! If we don’t, then we may neva get a shot again!
Justin: I’m witcha!
Pitbull: Good! Now, let’s get da hell outta here!
*We cut back to the W*I*G Interview Area. Cena is now joined by Pitbull. He is wearing a black track suit and white sneakers.*
Cena: I am now joined by Isaiah “Pitbull” Jefferson. And, judging by what we just saw, it appears you have really lit a fire underneath the White Boys.
Pitbull: Ya goddamn right I have! Ya see, them boys came ta me ta make ‘em tougher an’ rougher! And, I’m gonna do just that!
Cena: So, I take it you are gonna stay on as the White Boys permanent manager?
Pitbull: Hell yeah! These boys are good competitors. But, they are some lazy summabitches! They need constant motivation, and that’s just what I’m gonna do!
Cena: So, will you be focusing on the W*I*G World Tag Team Titles even though the White Boys don’t have a rematch clause in their contracts?
Pitbull: No. Ya see, da best fer ‘em boys ta prove that they deserve ta be champions again is ta go back ta square one an’ work their way up da ranks.
Cena: And, just what is square one?
Pitbull: We’re goin’ afta those summabitches that done eliminated Jason an’ Justin from da Gauntlet match?
Cena: The Johannsons?
Pitbull: Yes! Those summabitches done cost mah boys their W*I*G World Tag Team Titles! An’, now they’re gonna pay fer that! So, ya Swedes betta watch yo’ asses! ‘Cause we comin’ fer ya, an’ it’s gonna be when y’all least expect it!!!! I’m finished!
*Pitbull leaves, leaving Cena by himself.*
Cena: Well, you heard Pitbull. The White Boys are going after Team Name Undecided. So, the Johansson cousins better watch out. And, we’ll be right back.
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Fannie Package
Local Talent
W*I*G* Women's Champion
Bigger is Better!
Posts: 21
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Post by Fannie Package on May 18, 2009 15:15:39 GMT -5
Howard Finkel: The following contest in the second round of the Colvin Cup is scheduled for one fall, with a twenty minute time limit. *TNT’s music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCX8gDW4YS0 Finkel: Introducing first, coming down the aisle, at a combined weight of 372 pounds, from The Southwest—Toby Nicholas Tucker, Talia Bell, TNT. *TNT and Talia come out to the boos of the crowd. TNT is wearing that black noseguard for his injured nose, yellow wrestling tights with “TNT” in white down the legs and a flame design on the legs, white wrist tape, and black cowboy boots with a fire design on them. He also has that horseshoe tied to a rope around his neck. Talia has on a yellow corset-styled singlet with skirt with a flame design and “TNT” in white on the back and front and yellow boots with “TNT” in white on them. Talia looks a little pissed, most likely due to losing the Elimination Match at Attrition for the W*I*G Undisputed Women’s Title. She walks down the ring ahead of TNT. TNT tries to catch up to her, but she makes it to the ring before him. Pyro goes off behind them. Talia doesn’t even wait for TNT to hold the ropes open for her; she just walks up the steps, onto the apron, and through the ropes. TNT follows. They walk to a corner, and TNT talks to Talia, trying to comfort her.* Jeannie Lawless: Doesn't look like Talia is too very pleased. Tom Bailey: Well, you can’t blame her. Not only did she lose in the Ten Women Elimination Match for the W*I*G Undisputed Women’s Title at Attrition but she was also the first to be eliminated. Jeannie: Well, if she's got some aggressions to work out, then she’s in luck. She’ll be facing the woman who not only eliminated her but also won the match. Finkel: And introducing their opponents... *Bagpipes fill the air in the arena while the lights dim, turning to light blue and white spotlights that search the arena. They all focus on the ramp. The bagpipes fade out, yielding to Alice Cooper's "School's Out" www.youtube.com/watch?v=qga5eONXU_4, which blares as Chaz Stone parts the curtain with force and stands at the ramp, working his white-taped hands against each other, then lifting a fist and shouting for the crowd.* Chaz: Alba gu Brath! Finkel: First, from Seattle, Washington by way of Edinburgh, Scotland, accompanied by Lana de la Croix, weighing in tonight at 20 and three-quarter stone..."The Tower of Power" CHAAAAAAZ STONE! Jeannie: Hubba hubba. Tom: The big Scot headed to the ring, one half of one of the biggest tag teams in the--Jeannie, are you okay? Jeannie: Can't talk, too busy ogling. Tom: You're impossible. *The crowd gives him a hearty ovation as he strolls down the ramp. Lana follows behind him, carrying and waving St. Andrews Cross as ever. His blue leather pants shift slightly with each move as Chaz jabbers with some male fans, slaps five to a couple young fans in the front row wearing his official souvenir headband, and blows a kiss to the woman a row back of them. Chaz takes a short sprint and slides into the ring head-first. Chaz pushes up on his knuckles, appraising his foes before preparing for the match ahead with a few last-minute stretches, ensuring his bandanna stayed on his head.* Finkel: And his partner... *Nelly Furtado's remix of "Man Eater" comes over the PA system. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lq-OKUnQYd0 The spotlights from the back of the stage light up, and a silhouette of a massively muscular figure posing plays against the curtain. The figure goes through a series of standard bodybuilding poses as the curtain parts, revealing Fannie Package. A leopard print leotard, paired with flat black boots, serves to accentuate her muscular physique. And, she has the W*I*G Undisputed Women’s Title belts draped over her shoulders.* Finkel: And from San Francisco, California, weighing in at 289 pounds, the NEW W*I*G Undisputed Women’s Champion—FANNIEEEE PAAAACKAGE! *She makes her way to the ring, stopping to show off every so often. She is greeted warmly by the crowd, whom she properly curtsies with a grin on her face. She steps up the steel steps and stays on the apron, taking off her belts and handing them to the timekeeper and then talking strategy with Chaz. The two swap places after a bit of a discussion. After a bit, Talia enters the ring, staring daggers at Fannie. The bell rings and away we go!* Tom: Looks like the ladies will be starting this match off. Jeannie: Bo-ring! Wake me when we get some beefcake in there. Tom: Wouldn’t Fannie count as beefcake? Jeannie: Well, Fannie did look rather nice with that title belt around her tight waist. Tom: Really? Jeannie: Yes…and, I mean that is a purely heterosexual, complementary way! *The two ladies come to the center of the ring. Fannie tries to lock up with Talia. Talia feints the grapple and strikes with a stiff slap across the face and a chop across the chest. Before she can get a big head of steam going, though, Fannie responds with five to the eyes of her own, dropping Talia like a sack of potatoes and causing her to sprawl out, away from her larger opponent. Talia tries charging in with a spear. Fannie braces herself, and the impact of Talia colliding into a woman twice her size is more like that of hitting a steel ringpost, complete with possible shoulder damage. As Talia reels from the impact, Fannie grabs her by the hair and pulls, slamming her to the mat head-first. Fannie allows her prey to arise by striking a bodybuilding pose. Talia decides to change tactics, attacking a part of Fannie that wasn't so wide—namely, the legs, as she charges in and nails Fannie with a chop block when she turns to the crowd.* Tom: Dirty move by the New Zealander there—what the... Jeannie: These jalapeño poppers are AWESOME. Tom: As I was saying— Jeannie: Nobody cares what you have to say, Tommy. Tom: Stop that! Jeannie: Never. *With Fannie felled, Talia locks in a front stump puller hold in an attempt to keep her down. Fannie merely kicks her in the face, like scraping mud off her boot. Both are to their feet when Talia charges and connects with a Polish hammer. The bigger woman staggers slightly, but is not dropped by the impact. Talia tries again, and Fannie is ready for her this time, effortlessly hoisting Talia into the air with a gorilla press. Fannie walks the ring with her, pressing her into the air repeatedly, until finally tiring of the display and dropping Talia on her face behind her. Or so she thinks...in reality, Talia, with grace belying possible feline gene structure, catches Fannie unawares with a Flashback! Talia goes for a quick pinfall...* Ref: 1…no. *Fannies pushes Talia off of her.* Tom: Talia trying to end this early. Jeannie: I want it to end early, too. Tom: You're just saying that because the womenfolk are fighting, not the menfolk. Jeannie: Yeeeeee-EP! Tom: At least you're honest. Jeannie: I mean, seriously, these girls are kind of boring! And, I don’t know why anyone would find these girls attractive. Well…Fannie does have a nice bu…um…nevermind. Tom: You were gonna say “butt,” weren’t you? Jeannie: Shut up! *Fannie authoritatively presses Talia off of her. Talia takes the opportunity to lace Fannie with a few elbow bunts, then ascends the turnbuckle near her partner, looking for the missile dropkick she's become fond of using. TNT takes the opportunity to help in the only way he knows how—slapping her on the back, a legal tag in.* Talia: What th' hell? TNT: I'm tired o' waitin'! Ref: Ma'am, get on the apron! One, two, three— Talia: Fine...grrr. *TNT enters the ring and takes the boots to Fannie as she rises. TNT decks her with a right hand, following that up with a discus elbow smash and a quick European uppercut. The flurry backs Fannie into her corner, slumping her against the turnbuckles. TNT rushes in with a bicycle kick, but Fannie rolls out of the way, leaving TNT to jam his foot into the top turnbuckle. Not expecting the resistance, TNT limps slightly away from the post. Fannie catches him in a front face lock and pulls him up for a delayed suplex. Steadying him on her shoulder, she travels to her corner and keeps the man hoisted for an inordinately long time. So long, in fact, that the crowd starts counting it off. Once they reach about 35 seconds, Chaz calls for Fannie to tag him in. She casually turns and, with the non-supporting hand, slaps Chaz into the match. Chaz hoists his leg over the ropes and approaches his partner, then locks in with the same delayed suplex hold. The ref tells Fannie to leave, and she does so, non-chalantly leaving Chaz to pick up where she left off. Chaz begins marching around the ring, TNT in reluctant tow. As the crowd passes the 70 second mark, and as TNT's face turns a bright shade of red, Chaz checks an invisible watch, to the crowd's delight. At the 90 second mark, he finally drops TNT on his back, causing him to wince in pain in the middle of the ring. Chaz goes for a pinfall!* Ref: 1... 2…no. *TNT gets his shoulder up.* Tom: TNT gets a shoulder up, somehow. Jeannie: I’m amazed at TNT’s resiliency, and at Chaz’s strength. Tom: And, you’re amazed by Fannie’s butt. Jeannie: No, I’m not! Stop putting words into my mouth! *Chaz picks up TNT and goes for a suplex, but TNT dead weights him and reverses it. Both men get up, but TNT catches Chaz with a discus elbow smash. Chaz hits the ropes and bounces off them. TNT charges at him with a bicycle kick, but Chaz ducks and runs to the opposite ropes. TNT turns around as Chaz bounces off the ropes, and Chaz hits him with a spear. Chaz quickly gets up and hits TNT with a leg drop. Then, he walks over to TNT’s legs, grabs them, and then swings TNT around with a big swing. After about what seems like an eternity, Chaz lets go of TNT, who hits the mat and rolls to the outside.* Tom: Chaz takes TNT to the outside the hard way. Jeannie: I wish Chaz would take me to the outside the hard way. Tom: What does that mean? Jeannie: I don’t know! Just as long as it’s Chaz! Not Fannie! CHAZ!!!! *The referee begins a 10 count.* Ref: 1…*TNT gets up and staggers around looking Dizzy* 2…*Talia gets off of the apron, walks over to the timekeeper’s table, and grabs a towel and bottle of water.* 3…*Talia walks over to TNT.* 4…*Talia wipes TNT’s forehead with the towel. The audience starts booing.* 5…*Talia then opens the water bottle and hands it to TNT, who drinks from it. The audience continues to boo TNT and Talia.* 6…*Chaz gets fed up with the stalling, exits the ring, and pushes Talia to the ground. The crowd cheers Chaz on.* 7…*Chaz hits TNT with a vicious roundhouse right that sends him staggering back to the steel guardrail and the water bottle flying into the ground. The crowd’s cheers get louder.* 8…*Chaz grabs TNT and throws him into the ring, breaking the count.* *Chaz tries to re-enter the ring, but Talia stops him with a double axe handle blow to his back. It doesn’t really hurt Chaz, but he does turn his attention to Talia. He starts to slowly stalk up onto Talia. She tries to reason with him and then suddenly hauls off and punches him. However, the punch doesn’t really hurt Chaz. He keeps moving forward, and Talia keeps moving backwards. Unfortunately for her, Talia doesn’t see Fannie sneaking up behind her. Talia eventually backs right into Fannie, who then grabs Talia and throws her into the ring. Chaz and Fannie enter the ring as TNT and Talia get up. Then, Chaz and Fannie charge at TNT and Talia respectively and hit them each with a clothesline. Then, they both grab TNT and Talia’s leg and swing them around, causing their heads to collide.* Tom: Hot Legs! Chaz and Fannie knocking TNT and Talia’s heads together like coconuts! They are looking strong so far! Jeannie: I’ll say. Man, that Fannie sure can swing a girl around. I’d like to see her swing mwwwwhat am I saying!? *Fannie grabs Talia and throws her out of the ring. Then, she exits the ring as Chaz picks up TNT and locks him into an armbar. To add insult to injury, Chaz starts rubbing his forearm against the back of TNT’s head. TNT yells out in pain. After a few seconds, TNT uses his free arm to push against Chaz’s head in order to get him to let go. It doesn’t really work, but TNT is able to get up onto his feet. Then, TNT suddenly hits Chaz with an elbow smash. Chaz doesn’t let go, but he does stagger back a little. TNT hits him with another elbow smash, and Chaz staggers back again. Then, TNT pushes Chaz back into the ropes and tries to whip him across the ring. However, Chaz reverses the whip, sending TNT across the ring. As TNT hits the opposite ropes, Chaz backs into the ropes he was just in, bounces off of them, and charges at TNT with a spear. Unfortunately, TNT hits Chaz with a bicycle kick in the head. The audience lets out a sympathetic groan. Chaz falls to the mat, and TNT falls back into the ropes. Chaz sits up, holding his head; and TNT suddenly pounces on him, hitting Chaz with a European uppercut that knocks Chaz back to the mat.* Tom: TNT gains control of the match with a well-place bicycle kick and a European uppercut. Jeannie: You gotta stay on top of TNT if you want to beat him. He’s fast and volatile. He can pull out a move like that *snaps* and hit you suddenly like an explosion. Tom: So, TNT is an apt name. Jeannie: Thanks for spelling out the point I was making. It would have been nice if you didn’t insult the audience and just assume that they were smart enough to figure that out on their own, but… Tom: At least I’m not having dirty thoughts about Fannie Package. Jeannie: Hey! She’s a sexy woman! I mean, I am not having thoughts about having sex with Fannie! That’s ridiculous!!!! *TNT gets up and drops an elbow onto Chaz’s neck. Then, he picks up Chaz onto his knees and locks him into a European headlock. TNT adds insult to injury by yelling at Chaz, “How do ya like that, motherhumper!? Huh!? *in a Scottish accent* Aye! Do ya hate that, laddy!!!!?” Chaz looks angry, puts his hands on TNT’s head, and pushes up. This allows Chaz to get up onto his feet. However, TNT quickly hits Chaz with a vicious knee to the stomach. TNT then runs to the ropes, bounces off of them, and charges at Chaz; but Chaz catches him and hits him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. TNT falls to the mat, and Chaz walks over to Fannie to make a tag.* Tom: Tilt-a-whirl backbreaker to TNT allows Chaz to bring Fannie back into the mix. Jeannie: Looks like we’re gonna see how TNT stacks up to Fannie Package. Can’t wait. Tom: What? No, “I’d like to stack up with…” Jeannie: I don’t wanna stack up with Fannie! I LIKE MEN!!!! Tom: I was gonna say “TNT.” Jeannie: Oh… *pause* DAMMIT! *Fannie enters the ring as Chaz moves onto the apron and TNT gets. TNT turns around, and Fannie picks him up and hits with a body slam. TNT sits up, and Fannie grabs him by his hair, picks him up, and drops TNT to the mat. Fannie picks up TNT by his hair, but TNT hits her with an elbow to the side of her head. Fannie spins around, and TNT turns around, grabs Fannie from behind, and hits her with a belly to back suplex. TNT gets up, picks up Fannie by her hair, and throws her into a corner. Then, TNT moves over to the opposite corner, charges at Fannie, and hits her with an avalanche splash. TNT walks back to the other corner and then hits her with another splash. TNT moves away from Fannie and goes for a third splash. However, Fannie moves out of the way this time, and TNT hits the turnbuckle. TNT moves away from the corner, holding his rib area. Fannie gets up, grabs TNT, and spins him around. TNT goes for a punch, but Fannie punches him in the ribs; and TNT falls to his knees in a heap. Fannie picks up TNT onto her shoulder and drops him to the mat with a running powerslam. Then, Fannie picks up TNT, knees him in the ribs a few times, and then places him onto the ropes. Fannie whips TNT across the ring. As TNT hits the opposite ropes and bounces off of them, Fannie charges at TNT and locks him into an abdominal stretch.* Tom: Hot Damn! I am impressed with Fannie Package! Not only has she matched TNT in strength, but she also taken advantage of a mistake he made and now has him locked into an abdominal stretch. Jeannie: Lucky guy! Being stretched out by Fannie! I mean, lucky girl!!!! Getting to feel TNT’s butt! He has a nice butt! Tom: This is starting to freak me out! Jeannie: WHAT DO YOU THINK IT’S DOING TO ME!!!!? *Fannie has TNT lock in the abdominal stretch tight for a good few minutes. TNT screams out in pain, but whenever the ref asks him if he wants to give up, TNT says “No!” After a few more minutes, TNT manages to move himself and Fannie a little to the ropes. However, Fannie takes her right arm, lifts it up, and drops harshly onto TNT’s ribs to stop him. Nevertheless, TNT is pretty close to the ropes. After a few seconds, he tries to reach out for the top rope. Unfortunately, he isn’t close enough and can’t reach. But, the referee moves around to see if TNT can reach the rope. As this goes on, Talia moves around the steel post, gets to where the ref can’t see her, and pushes the top rope closer. TNT reaches out but still can’t reach. Talia pushes the rope a little closer. TNT touches it with his fingers, but he just still can’t reach it. Suddenly, Chaz moves over closer to the scene and yells at the referee that Talia is pushing the rope to TNT. The ref turns around and sees Talia’s hands on the ropes. She lets go of the rope and feigns innocence. Fannie moves TNT back to the center of the ring as this goes on, and TNT yells out in disappointment. Meanwhile, Chaz continues to yell at Talia. Talia then moves over to the neutral corner where Chaz is standing and starts to argue back. The referee tries to break them apart and get them back to their corners. As this goes on, TNT pulls off his noseguard and slams it right into Fannie’s face. She doesn’t let go of the hold. So, TNT hits her again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. She still won’t let go, but her grip on TNT loosens. This allows TNT to pick her up in a horizontal back to belly suplex hold, and he spins her around into a sitout facebuster.* Tom: What the deuce!? Talia and Chaz’s arguing distracts the referee from TNT bashing Fannie in the head with his noseguard and hitting her with the Chemical Explosion! Jeannie: That bastard! He could have ruined Fannie’s beautiful face! Because, that’s a horrible thing to do. Not because I like her. *Talia and Chaz continue their yelling as the referee keeps trying to get them to go back to their corners. The two even come to blows a few times. As this goes on, TNT gets up and puts his noseguard back on. Then, he runs to the ropes, bounces off of them, charges at Fannie, and lands on her head with a headbutt. TNT grabs Fannie by her hair and unleashes several headbutts onto her with that noseguard. Then, TNT gets up, walks over to a neutral corner, climbs up to the top turnbuckle, and jumps off landing on Fannie with diving headbutt. TNT gets up, and then he suddenly charges at Chaz, knocking him off the apron with an elbow smash. Chaz falls to the floor, but he gets back up and enters the ring, trying to get after TNT. However, the referee stops him. As this goes on, Talia enters the ring, picks up Fannie by her hair, and hits her in the face with several knee smashes.* Tom: I don’t believe this! Now, Talia is attacking Fannie while TNT and Chaz have the referee distracted! Jeannie: Damn you, Talia! Why must you be jealous of Fannie’s good looks!? Tom: “Fannie’s good looks”!? Are you feeling okay!? Jeannie: SHUT UP!!!! *Chaz keeps trying to get past the referee but to no avail. Eventually, Talia stop and just throws Fannie to the mat. Fannie rolls over onto her stomach holding face. TNT backs off, and Chaz eventually calms down. He reluctantly exits the ring. Meanwhile, TNT grabs Fannie and throws her over to his team’s corner. TNT grabs Fannie’s leg, and then Talia slaps his back, tagging herself in. Then, TNT catapults Fannie up, and Talia hits her with a forearm smash that knocks her down onto TNT’s knees. Then, Talia jumps over the top rope and lands on Fannie with a slingshot elbow drop.* Tom: Talia now officially enters the ring with Storming The Beaches. Jeannie: Now, here comes the double teaming. But, I think Fannie can handle it. She looks strong enough any kind of punishment. And, I mean that… Tom: Oh, give it a rest! *Talia pulls Fannie off of TNT, allowing TNT to get up and move onto the apron. Then, Talia throws Fannie into a neutral corner. She then grabs Fannie by her hair and smashes her face first onto the top turnbuckle. Then, she smashes Fannie on the turnbuckle again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again. Then, Talia throws Fannie out of the corner, jumps onto the second turnbuckle, jumps off, and lands on Fannie with a diving Lou Thesz press pin.* Ref: 1… 2…no. *Fannie pushes Talia off.* Tom: Dirty Dozen to Fannie Package doesn’t stop the match. Jeannie: You’d think Talia and TNT wouldn’t go after Fannie’s face especially after TNT’s own face was nearly disfigured! But no! They just have to destroy this handsome woman’s looks! Tom: Since when did you care about a woman’s looks? Jeannie: I’m just being nice! Shut up! *Talia gets up and picks up Fannie. She hits Fannie with a few more knee smashes. Then, she locks Fannie into a modified chickenwing stretch and hits her with a wheelbarrow facebuster. Talia then goes for another pin.* Ref: 1… 2…no. *Fannie kicks out.* Tom: Talia showing off her strength with Ben-Hur, but it isn’t enough to keep Fannie down. Jeannie: And, she’s not as strong as Fannie Package. I’d like to see just how strong Fannie is. Tom: What does that mean? Jeannie: Um…shut up! *Talia picks up Fannie and hits her with a neckbreaker. Talia gets up, picks up Fannie, and tries to go for another neckbreaker. However, Fannie overpowers Talia and pushes her to the ropes. Talia falls in between the top and second rope but lands on the apron. Fannie shakes her head a little as Talia gets up onto her feet. Then, Fannie charges at Talia with a running big boot. However, Talia manages to grab Fannie’s leg and pulls her over to the ropes. Talia tries to Fannie over the rope for some reason, but Fannie grabs the top rope with her hands and pushes against hit, pulling Talia up. Suddenly, Talia sweeps Fannie’s other leg and drops down off the apron, causing Fannie’s knee to get hung up onto the top rope. The audience lets out a sympathetic groan, and Fannie yells out in pain as she takes her knee off the rope.* Tom: Sweet Carly At The Tomb Of Bob Marley! Talia Bell causes Fannie to get hung up onto the top rope! Jeannie: Oh no! Fannie’s gonna need someone to rub some Icy Hot on her knee! Luckily, I have some right her! Tom: Sit down! Jeannie: You’re no fun! Tom: Yeah, well…you’re no lesbian. *The referee checks on Fannie’s knee as Talia gets up back onto the apron. Then, Talia re-enters the ring and hits Fannie’s knee with a slingshot elbow drop. Fannie yells out in pain. Chaz tries to enter the ring, but Talia sees him, charges at him, and hits him with a dropkick that sends Chaz to the floor. Then, Talia pounces on Fannie’s knees with several stomps. Suddenly, Chaz runs into the ring again. The referee stops him and holds him back. Talia sees this and walks over to Chaz to taunt him. As this goes on, TNT climbs up onto the top turnbuckle, jumps off, and hits Fannie’s knee with a diving headbutt.* Tom: Dammit! Not again! Another distraction allows TNT to come in and hit Fannie’s knee with a diving headbutt, made all the worse with that noseguard on! Jeannie: What’s in that thing? Tom: I don’t know, but I bet it’s some type of metal. *TNT exits the ring. Talia backs off and goes back to attacking Fannie’s knee. And, the referee is finally able to get Chaz to return to his corner. Meanwhile, Talia continues her onslaught on Fannie’s knee, kicking the back of it several times. Then, Talia goes for a sharpshooter. However, Fannie uses her strength to keep Talia from turning her over. The two girls are in a tug-o-war for a good while. Suddenly, Fannie pushes Talia off, sending Talia flying back into a neutral corner. Talia hits the top turnbuckle with the back of her head and falls to her knees. Fannie manages to get up onto her feet and limps over to her corner. Chaz reaches out for a tag, and Fannie holds her arm out to take it. However, Talia comes out of nowhere and hits Fannie’s bad knee with a chop block. Fannie falls to mat in pain. The crowd boos. Chaz slaps the top turnbuckle in anger. Talia then grabs Fannie by her bad leg, pulls her to the center of the ring, and goes back to work on her bad knee, stomping on the back of it and then DDTing it onto her own knee.* Tom: Talia Bell goes for a Sharpshooter. But, Fannie stops her. They struggle. Hot Damn! Fannie pushes Talia off into the corner. Fannie gets up. She limps over to Chaz. Chaz reaches out for a tag! Fannie is about make it! Dammit! Talia Bell stops Fannie Package from making the tag with a chop block! And, now she goes back to work on that knee! Jeannie: Son of a bitch! Fannie is in deep trouble! She needs to make a tag, or else that incredibly muscular leg of hers is going to be damaged forever! Tom: You know, I never thought you could get creepier. And, lo and behold, you go and prove me wrong. *Talia gets up and stomps on the back of Fannie’s knee. Then, she grabs Fannie’s other leg, wraps them around each other, and goes for a cloverleaf. However, Fannie is able to use her strength to stop it. Talia struggles to get Fannie over onto the mat, while Fannie struggles to prevent that. After a minute or two, Talia wins out and has Fannie locked in the Texas Cloverleaf.* Tom: Talia Bell shows off her impressive strength again by managing to get Fannie rolled over into the Texas Cloverleaf. Jeannie: I will say this for TNT—they are wrestling like a real team. Isolate one opponent from her partner, work over a body part, and just keep beating her down until she submits. The Andersons did it. The Hart Foundation did it. Edge and Christian did it. And now, TNT is doing it. *Talia has to move locked on tight. Fannie doesn’t yell out in pain, but you can see it on her face. The ref asks her if she wants to give up, but Fannie shakes her head no. This goes on for a few minutes. Then, Fannie starts to push up off the mat. Talia looks worried and pulls back on Fannie’s leg. It doesn’t push Fannie back to the mat, though. Then, Fannie starts to pull herself and Talia to the ropes. The crowd and Chaz cheer her on as Fannie moves closer and closer to the ropes. She reaches out for the ropes. The crowd holds their breath as Fannie barely touches the ropes with her fingers. Suddenly, Talia breaks the hold, grabs Fannie’s leg, and smashes her bad knee down onto the mat. The crowd boos loudly.* Tom: I don’t believe it! Talia breaks the cloverleaf as Fannie was about to grab the ropes and smashes her knee onto the mat! Jeannie: Fannie could have used the ropes to throw Talia off and get a tag. By breaking the hold, she keeps control of the match. That’s smart. Cowardly of her but smart. *Talia drags Fannie over to opposite ropes. She then picks Fannie up, places her against the ropes, and tags in TNT. TNT moves over to the ropes Fannie was trying to grab. Then, Talia whips Fannie across the ring, TNT bounces off the ropes and hits Fannie with a spear, and Talia charges behind Fannie and hits her with a running neck snap. Talia gets up and exits the ring while TNT goes for a pin.* Ref: 1… 2…no. *Fannie kicks out.* Tom: TNT enters the ring with the Land Assault, but Fannie Package manages to kick out. Jeannie: Damn! This woman is tough! I could really have a field day with her. Tom: Jeannie!? Jeannie: Oh God. What the hell did I just say!? Tom: I think we just found the girl who could turn Jeannie. Jeannie: Shut up! I was talking about a training regimen! That’s all! *TNT gets up and stomps on Fannie’s knee a few times. Then, he drags her over to his corner and tags in Talia. Talia enters the ring. TNT catapults Fannie, and Talia hits her with a leg lariat. TNT exits the ring, and Talia goes for a pin.* Ref: 1… 2…no. *Fannie pushes Talia off of her, and Talia goes flying to the mat.* Tom: Whoa! TNT hits Fannie with the Hand Grenade, but Fannie just pushes Talia off like she’s a blanket! Jeannie: My God! The strength! She could hold me up for hours! *pause* Oh God! I’m starting to scare my self. Tom: Hell! You’re scaring me! *Talia pounds the mat in frustration. She gets up and kicks Fannie as she tries to get up. Then, Talia unleashes an onslaught of stomps onto Fannie’s knee. She grabs Fannie by her bad leg and tries to dislocate it. Then, she pulls Fannie over to her corner and tags in TNT. Talia picks up Fannie as TNT enters the ring. He moves over slightly close to Chaz’s corner. Then, Talia hits Fannie with a package piledriver and manage to roll her over. TNT catches Fannie and hits her with a brainbuster. As Talia exits the ring, TNT covers Fannie.* Ref: 1… 2…no. *Fannie kicks out. The crowd and Chaz cheer. TNT yells out in frustration and slaps the mat.* Tom: Sweet Tommy With Pastrami! Fannie Package kicks out of the Powderkeg! Jeannie: Oh My God! This is one impressive woman! Sexy too. Tom: What did you say? Jeannie: Nothing! I didn’t say a goddamn thing! Don’t look at me like that!!!! *TNT jumps up and stomps on Fannie. Then, he picks Fannie up, puts her into a straight jacket hold, and lifts her up for a sitout powerbomb. However, Fannie surprises TNT by wrapping her legs around TNT’s neck and locks him in a neckscissors. The crowd cheers loudly as Fannie the life out of TNT. TNT holds her up, but his face soon turns purple. He starts staggering around as he turns purple. Soon, Fannie is able to get her arms free and unleashes a flurry of punches onto TNT’s head. TNT falls to the mat, and Fannie rolls over, holding her knee.* Tom: Hot Damn! Fannie Package counters the Explosion Bomb with a neckscissors! Jeannie: Tag Chaz, dammit! Tag Chaz, you sexy bitch! Tom: Jeannie! Jeannie: Shut up! *Fannie starts crawling over to her corner. Chaz reaches out his arm, trying to get closer for Fannie to tag. TNT is still out on the mat. Talia yells at TNT to wake up, but he’s unresponsive. Suddenly, Talia sees a kid in the front row holding a water gun. She jumps down, runs over to the kid, steals it from him, jumps back onto the apron, and sprays TNT with the water gun. TNT suddenly jumps up. Talia yells at him that Fannie is about to get the tag. TNT gets up, walks over to Fannie, grabs her, and pulls her away. The crowd boos as TNT stops the tag. However, Fannie turns over onto her back, pulls in TNT with her leg, and then suddenly pushes him off. TNT goes flying to the ropes and falls to the outside. The crowd cheers wildly at Fannie gets up and limps over to Chaz. However, Talia runs into the ring and grabs Fannie. She turns Fannie around, but Fannie surprises her with a hard slap to the face that sends Talia to the mat. The crowd cheers loudly as Fannie turns around and tag in Chaz.* Tom: Finally! Fannie gets the tag after the Coin Purse to Talia Bell! Jeannie: Oh thank God! That woman was really confusing me! *Chaz charges into the ring. Talia jumps up and charges at Chaz. However, Chaz catches her onto his shoulder and then cups her feet. He runs to the ropes as TNT gets up on the outside. Suddenly, Chaz tosses Talia up over the ropes. She backflips to the outside and lands on TNT. The crowd’s pop gets louder.* Tom: Alba gu Brath! Chaz Stone sends Talia to the outside with the Caber Toss, taking out TNT as well! Jeannie: Now, that is a strong sexy man! I am so glad to see Fannie Package back in the match. Wait…I mean Chaz Stone! SON OF A BITCH!!!! *TNT & Talia are getting up to their feet, TNT is dusting himself off. He's about to also help dust off Talia, but she brushes his hands away, preferring to dust herself off. Just as this is going on, Chaz Stone comes flying over the top rope crash-landing on TNT, who pulls Talia in front of him at the last second, bracing for impact. Chaz gets up from his two opponents as the crowd roars it's approval. Chaz lifts up a rather limp TNT & presses him overhead before tossing him back into the ring, between the first & second ropes. Chaz follows in himself shortly afterwards. TNT is in alot of pain after being crushed by Chaz like that & with Talia now out on the floor, he has to stall for time. As Chaz approaches, TNT starts begging off backwards sliding his butt along the mat, to keep the distance between himself & Chaz. TNT gets to his feet & actually extends a hand to Chaz.* Jeannie: Okay... even I wouldn't fall for that one! Tom: I'm just surprised it took TNT this long to actually try the "let's be friends" routine. *Chaz looks at TNT's hand with a cocked-eyebrow. Without even feigning to go for a handshake, Chaz decks TNT right on the jaw. The native of Superior, Arizona goes flying back towards the corner where Fannie Package now stands. Chaz asks Fannie if she's okay. Fannie nods in the affirmative & enters the ring after Chaz tags her. Chaz lifts TNT up in the air & then drops him again onto Fannie's non-damaged knee.* Tom: WHAT A GUTBUSTER! From such a height. And it looks like Talia is beginning to stir outside the ring. *Talia is, indeed, starting to get back to her feet, although still a little woozy from having a 290lbs Scotsman land on her. Talia rests against the apron for a moment, trying to regain her composure as well as her breath. As she does, Fannie runs at her as fast as she can & hits Talia with a Baseball Slide into the security rail.* Tom: Fannie taking Talia out of the match once again. It looks like she may have hurt her leg again, though. Jeannie: Fannie may have the body of a sex goddess, but she doesn't appear too smart sometimes. Tom: You're doing it again. Jeannie: WHY CAN'T I STOP?! *Fannie stands again, her left knee still causing her some pain, as she makes her way back over to TNT who is clutching at the lower part of his abdomen. Fannie picks TNT up, placing both her hands on his shoulders, TNT reaches out & rakes Fannie across the eyes too subtly for the referee to notice. Fannie stumbles about temporarily blinded. TNT hooks Fannie up for a Back Suplex & successfully executes the move. With Fannie grounded, TNT decides to rub in this minor victory by raking his boot across Fannie's face as she tries to get up again. TNT then stomps on Fannie's fingers.* Tom: TNT is just taunting Fannie now. He'd be wise not to let that Suplex go to his head or it'll cost him the match. *With some effort, TNT manages to get Fannie back to her feet. He whips Fannie off to the ropes then catches her on the rebound & rolls back into a Half-Boston Crab.* Jeannie: Now TNT returns to working on that already damaged incredibly muscular left leg of Fannie. Tom: She may be on the verge of submission soon. *Fannie struggles to get close to the ropes, but just as he fingers are within a hair's breadth, TNT walks back to the middle of the ring, dragging Fannie with him. TNT then kneels down, driving one knee into Fannie's back & cranking back on her leg as much as he can. TNT takes the opportunity to flex his own muscles to indicate that he's no slouch in the gym either. He kisses his right bicep as he flexes his arm which draws jeers from the audience. However, as TNT focuses on how damn good he looks, Fannie manages to reach back with her right arm & grab a hold of TNT's left ankle. She's able to use her strength to reverse the hold & she now has TNT trapped in a Half-Boston Crab of her own. Fannie reaches down & grabs TNT's right leg as well, then turns out of the Boston Crab position so that she now has TNT looking directly up at her from the mat. Fannie spins around & around with TNT who's yelling at the top of his voice for Talia. Talia slips into the ring quickly. At this, Fannie releases TNT who goes flying right into Talia, the pair of them lie in a heap in their own corner.* Tom: Fannie Package managing to improvise a little bit & use TNT as a missile aimed right at Talia Bell. Jeannie: Maybe I was wrong... all that AND brains too. Tom: Are you even going to pretend any more? Jeannie: I'm comfortable with who I am. *Fannie drags TNT out of the corner & whips him towards her & Chaz's corner. Chaz enters the ring as he indicates that he & Fannie are going to utilize the same Double Inverted DVD move that they used to finish off Archibald Barnes & Tracy Michaels. Fannie firstly lifts TNT up onto her shoulders, but she's then attacked by another Chop Block by Talia. Fannie falls to the mat as Talia gets a few stomps in.* Tom: Fannie & Chaz just about to finish things off when Talia sneaks in & tackles Fannie's damaged leg again! Jeannie: Talia & TNT created that opening Tom. They have every right to exploit it against Fannie. *Chaz moves to attack Talia who dodges his move. She strikes him across the chest with a few chops that do little to bother the big man. TNT then smashes an elbow into the back of Chaz's head, staggering the giant Scot. TNT & Talia then drop Chaz with a Double DDT. TNT orders Talia outside to get Fannie's Championship Belts. Talia throws one belt into TNT then slides the other into the ring. TNT stands, waiting for Chaz to stand up again as he wields the GND Title Belt. The referee rips the GND Belt from TNT's hands before he can utilize it, but TNT then picks up the W*I*G Women's Championship Belt & takes a run at Chaz as the "Tower of Power" begins to get to his feet again, Talia keeps the referee occupied while he disposes of the GND Belt outside the ring.* Tom: After the tremendous fight Fannie Package & Chaz Stone have put in, it comes to this. A Title Belt shot from TNT! *But Chaz suddenly ducks & TNT gets clocked by a Springboard Forearm Smash by L. Rey. knocking the W*I*G Women's Belt into his face!* Jeannie: HACHI~MACHI! L. Rey is out here now too?! Tom: He's obviously incensed by the things that TNT said on Stone's Quarry! Now he's going to cost TNT this match! *TNT stumbles about in a daze for a moment as L. Rey beats a hasty retreat. He is then lifted from behind by Chaz. Chaz cranks on TNT in a Torture Rack a little bit. Talia runs back into the ring, aiming for another tackle at Fannie, who is still nursing her left leg. Fannie manages to catch Talia this time, though & quickly makes her way over to Chaz to stack Talia on top of TNT.* Tom: Fannie Package fighting through the pain of her left leg to place Talia Bell on top of TNT! It looks like Fannie & Chaz are going for the victory. *Chaz moves in quickly to receive Talia. Fannie moves in back-to-back with Chaz. The muscular pair stretch their two opponents, then heft them off with a Reverse DVD, TNT landing on top of Talia as they fall! Fannie & Chaz cover Talia & TNT respectively...* 1... 2... 3!!! DING-DING-DING! Finkel: Here are your winners, advancing to the Semi-Finals... FANNIE PACKAGE & CHAZ STONE!!! *"School's Out" begins to play again as Chaz helps Fannie to her feet.* Tom: Fannie & Chaz with a hard-earned win over TNT! Jeannie: Hmmm... do you think they'll let me go back there & shower with them? Tom: WOAH! Down girl! *The referee hands Fannie the two belts that comprise the Undisputed W*I*G Women's Championship before he stands in between her & Chaz, raising both their arms aloft. Chaz & Lana both hold the ropes open for Fannie as she makes he exit, still hobbling quite badly. Chaz, Lana & Fannie all stop again at the foot of the ramp to raise their arms in celebration once again. Meanwhile, in the ring, TNT fumes. He berates Talia, rips off his nosegaurd & flings it to the mat in a rage, stamping his feet like a spoiled kid. Though the microphone is nowhere near him, it's clear that he's cursing one man for his loss in this match... L. Rey.*
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Post by Mr. Faulkner & Fido on May 19, 2009 14:44:54 GMT -5
*The camera goes to a room inside the arena. Mr. Faulkner is sitting on a chair, drinking coffee and looking at a roster sheet, while Fido is sitting on the floor.*
Mr. Faulkner: So, what do you think of Team Ireland? Sure, the Irish are notorious for their temper and drinking, but I can see them work.
Fido: Croyez-vous vraiment que c'est une bonne idée ?
Mr. Faulkner: Please. You're in America. Speak English.
*Fido then speaks English, with a slight French accent. *
Fido: *sigh* So, you think this is a good idea? Getting involved with the indésirable here?
Mr. Faulkner: My dear, dear Fido, you need to understand. If you can use them to further your own agenda, they are not useless. Hmmm.....what about the Johannsons?
Fido: A few days here, and you're already looking for other people?
Mr. Faulkner: Feeling a little bit of jealously? Relax. I know you well enough to not rush for a replacement. You just need to impress the rednecks in the crowd, though, which shouldn't be too hard. Heck, a French man who doesn't wave a flag and wear a beret is mind-blowing enough for them. All you really need to do is send a message to the roster, tell them that you are not to be screwed around with. Whenever these people decided to get off their asses and give you an opponent, make sure that it's a match they won't forget anytime soon, no matter how hard they try.
*Mr. Faulkner sips some of his coffee before continuing.*
Mr. Faulkner: Mmmm......how about this Synthy chick?
Fido: The World Champion? Really?
Mr. Faulkner: Why not? you got to shoot big here, if you want to go anywhere. Plus, I'd "hit that", as the kids say.
*Fido just looks at Faulkner*
Mr. Faulkner: What?
Fido: ....Nothing.
*Mr. Faulkner gets up from his chair*
Mr. Faulkner: I'm gonna make some calls. This place is dreary as hell itself. Maybe I'll call my interior designer. Watch the place.
*Mr. Faulkner leaves the room, as Fido sits still. He then goes and grabs the roster page Mr. Faulkner had and looks it over.*
Fido: Hmmm......The Maxx? Danny Taylor? Gigantor Maximus? Hmph. I can take 'em...
*After that, the screen fades to black*
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Post by Malakai Larkin on May 20, 2009 16:59:25 GMT -5
As we return from commercial, we are introduced to a rather unfamiliar setting. A rather dark and dank alley it would seem, complete with cardboard boxes and trash cans strewn about. In addition, a number of stray animals can be seen wandering back and forth around there. Seated against a wall in this area is a familiar man. He looks to be a bit more haggered than last time we saw him, his once sleek black hair now unkempt, dirtier and dripping in grease. His once clean shaven face has a noticeable amount of stubble decorating it. The man is clad in what appears to be a torn black trench coat, perhaps something that came from one of those receptacles, and a pair of faded and torn blue jeans. His feet are completely bare. Slowly, the man's head rises up, a look of sorrow emanating from his eyes.
Malakai: I've lost everything... all because of a simple grudge. My friends, my home, and... my religion. It's all because I allowed myself to be corrupted by the horrible emotion of anger, one of the many that I have tried to expel from my mind. Happiness, sadness, fearfulness, and hatred. All emotions do is cloud one's judgment. The only way to truly understand the world is to lock them away and look at everything in an objective stance. Your opinion matters just as much as another person's. In the end, all opinions are merely what corrupt us all. Every major conflict has been stirred up due to emotions running high. Arguments, divorce, war, and anything else unpleasant that exists in this world. The only true way for one to be content... is to rid yourself of them. When you aren't concerned about your personal thoughts on something, then you can look at it with an open mind. Sometimes, we must understand things we hate, so that we are prepared for them.
Malakai slowly brushes a few strands of shadowy locks from his face, his face slowly beginning to twist.
Malakai: And that's why I've been studying you Ghassan. Because you continue to drag out this issue of our's, for your own sake. You hid from me last month because you were weakened, because you were wounded, and you were afraid that I would crush you in that ring. So instead, you attacked me from behind when I did not expect it and answered my challenge with one of your own. It's actually quite selfish Ghassan. I did not do things your way, so you refused to come out and play fair. Instead, you challenged me to a match with even greater stakes. A match where rules do not exist. A match where one cannot be stopped from doing anything that they please to his opponent. In short, you have removed each and every limitation and statute that bars me from decapitating you with my bare hands.
The man slowly rubs under his chin, as he sits up a bit more from against that wall.
Malakai: I spent a majority of my life on these very streets Ghassan. I know them far more than you can possibly imagine yourself. When you've been exiled to such a plain like I have, you tend to learn almost everything humanly possible about them. How they breath, how they feel, how they think. Ghassan... I am the street. I have been walked all over for most of my life, like a giant doormat with welcome scrawled across my face. I have survived there even before I first stepped into a wrestling ring. Ghassan, the streets are NOTHING like them. Wood is nothing compared to cold hard concrete. And honestly, that's what I am... the concrete to your wood. You may thrive in the forests, in wilderness, and wherever else you might blossom. But in the end, you can easily be chopped down and made into whatever useless object that someone desires you to be. Concrete on the other hand... you cannot nearly as easily break it. You can pound and punch on it all day long, but unless you have the strengths of a deity, all you'll do is end up hurting yourself. You see Aqil, I am far superior to you, in mind, body, and strength. And at MAYhem, I will vanquish you once and for all.
Malakai's expression becomes even more focused, as he gives a rather intimidating look into the screen, as we zoom in on his determined face.
Malakai: Just a few more weeks... and then I can finally redeem myself. Finally I can resume my mission in life and bask in the glory of my great former leader once again. And if I have to end your career in order to get there Ghassan...
The man leans back further against that wall, then turns around and grabs a wooden crate from nearby. He then raises a fist and smashes it right through the top of this container, putting a rather large gaping hole through the top. Malakai then tosses it far across from him, sending it crashing into the wall with a loud thud.
Malakai: ... so be it.
The man's eyes fill with silent fury, as he stares down at that now broken box, the screen zooming in on it as well. We then fade out to a commercial.
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Post by The Maxx on May 22, 2009 16:50:15 GMT -5
* "Have A Nice Day" begins to play in the W*I*G-Sphere as James Bon Jovi & The Maxx make their way out onto the stage just below the W*I*G-Screen.* Howard Finkel: Ladies & Gentlemen, please welcome at this time, James Bon Jovi & The Maxx! *The two stride cockily down the ramp, jabbering away to each other. The Maxx scoots up on to the ring apron & sits on the second rope, he spins around, swinging both legs into the ring. Bon Jovi goes up the ring steps, sweeping his long leather coat in behind him. Bon Jovi goes to one ring-post making an overly theatrical showing of raising an arm in the air as he flicks his hair back. The Maxx stands on the opposite corner, he bends over at the waist before slowly raising his right fist in the air. The pair dismount their respective corners simultaneously. Both request & receive microphones.* Bon Jovi: Salutations to all the SECK ZEE LAY DEES and to all others who wish to enter the Acropolis of Bewilderment. The Maxx: If you've been paying attention to our HUGELY popular web-show, "Slippery When Wet", then you'll be aware that we issued a challange to a pair of filthy disease ridden Latinos. Bon Jovi: Unfortunately, they proved to not only be contagious, but cowardly as they failed to respond. The Maxx: But that's why we're here tonight. You see we have managed to get an interview with the lazy Latin Losers via Satellite. If we could just bring them up on the screen... *An image of the Latin Lovers on the set of "The Latin Love Lounge" appears on the screen.* Bon Jovi: There they are on the set of their vastly inferior web show, aptly named given the bizarre relationship those two have. They're not in the arena, of course... The Maxx: Hey, no need to mock the less fortunate. Now guys, I've heard you're actually too cowardly to face us, is there any truth to that? *The image on-screen switches to a completely different time & setting.* Casimiro: First, I would like to apologize for my partner, Guillermo Miramontes and all the phone calls, love notes, flowers, boxes of candy, and mix CDs of love songs he has been sending you. The Maxx: Oh, pshaw. He just got a little excited. I have that effect on a lot of people. *The scene changes again.* Guillermo: I have a proposition for you. The Maxx: Afraid I'm going to have to turn you down there, buddy. But, y'know, keep reaching for that rainbow. *The scene changes yet again.* Casimiro: It must be all those worms he eats. Bon Jovi: Clearly, you've both had your fair share of "worms" in your mouths, but that's not surprising given how you are a pair of love-obsessed cads. Unfortunately, you have yet to answer the question as to why you have declined our challenge to you. The Maxx: Are you just incredibly awed that two delicious deities such as ourselves woul choose to lower ourselves to have matches with two pathetic peons such as yourselves? *Again, we see that the scene has changed.* Casimiro: You said it, Maxx. *And again.* Guillermo: Mr. Bon Jovi, Mr. The Maxx. I have to say... *And again.* Casimiro: I can't speak for*the scene actually changes mid-sentence* my partner*then back again* but for me, they make me confused. When I look at them, I feel things that I've never felt before for a man. I don't know what is going on, but I think I'm falling in love with them. Bon Jovi: As flattering--albeit highly perturbing--as this little schoolgirl crush is, I think it's time we moved past this and went to the subject of the match that we wanted to have. *The scene is entirely different again.* Casimiro: I am! Don't be so impatient. *And again.* Guillermo: You see, sex helps to relax people. A lot of sex will lead to a lot of relaxation. The Maxx: Oh, brother... here we go... *Yet another change.* Casimiro: I'm telling you that you can't do that! Guillermo: Yes! I can! *another mid-sentence change* But I'm confused. *We are shown another completely different setting.* Casimiro: Become this beautiful gay flower that you are becoming! To deny it would be a crime to deprive nature such a gorgeous bud. The Maxx: Really?! Is this ALL you wanna talk about? Bon Jovi: Sorry to say, fans, until those two get their feelings for us under control, we're going to have to cancel this meeting of sorts and postpone this entire matchup! The Maxx: So, while we still get to see ourselves, all of you... like the Latin Losers will have to... Both: Be Substantially Envious! *Rather than hearing "Bad Medicine", "Caboose" or even "Have A Nice Day", Bon Jovi & The Maxx are surprised to hear [url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZVZX-W3vo9I ]"Love Lockdown"[/url] by Kanye West as a pissed off looking Casimiro Melendez & Guillermo Miramontes appear at the top of the ramp. Guillermo is wearing a white silk shirt and black silk pants, and socks and black shoe. Casimiro has on a blue jacket, black shirt, blue jeans, black socks, and black sneakers. They are both holding microphones. Guillermo brings the microphone to his mouth and starts speaking.* Guillermo: Ahahahaha! That's funny! That's was funny what you just said. Not the editing of clips of me and Casimiro to make it sound like we're in love with you two. That was childish, immature, and completely devoid of comedy. No, no, no! What me and Casimiro found funny was that apparently you two have challenged us to a match! We thought that was hysterical because we thought you two didn't want to wrestle but rather make dick and fart jokes on the Internet. The Maxx: Cracking jokes about bodily functions may be uproarious to 9-year-olds... or those of... similarly limited intellectual capacity. *He makes a slight gesture in the direction of The Latin Lovers*, but I find it quite ironic that two guys who have tried to avoid us for so long are now attempting to make it sound as if The Maxx & James Bon Jovi are the ones who would rather avoid a challenge. Bon Jovi: We've got a bad sense of humor? Coming from the pair of dumb bastards who think they're so brilliant for using the same gay jokes every week, not to mention faked photos? I sense something oh so sweet. I think it's called "irony." And hell, while we're talkin' about challenges, you two Latin Lovers are too afraid to go out on a date you WON with the pasty Synthy Eris and her sugar junkie sister, let alone actually wrestle two MEGASTARS, the two men who have been carrying this entire company on or backs since it's inception, without cheating! Casimiro: First off, the only reason we made any gay jokes was because you two started them! Second, the reason we haven't gone on our date with Synthy and Lexi is because we think they forgot. Third, I wouldn't exactly call you guys 'megastars' Mega-jerks? Maybe. Mega-douches? Definitely. Mega-assholes? Hell yeah! But, not megastars. Finally, I don't know why you two seem to think that we have ducked out of your challenge. I mean, what the hell do you think we're doing out here!? Bon Jovi: Oh, it's always convenient to play the blame game, especially for you donkey-riding, dust-bathing Latinos! *He breaks into a cheesy Spanish accent, mockingly.* Bon Jovi: Aye aye aye, estan los enemigos en nuestros paises! They're like...totally owning us! Oh! It's all their fault! Let's go jump their borders and steal their money! ARRIBA~!*James returns to his deeper, regular voice.* Bon Jovi: My point, Latin Losers, is that you suck at life SO BAD that you've always got to try to use that as an excuse to get by in life. Whereas we, JAMES BON JOVI and THE MAXX use our indominable talent to outshine all we encounter! The Maxx: Be Sub...*Bon Jovi cuts him off.* Bon Jovi: No... not yet... Casimiro: Ugh. I guess we can add 'mega-idiots' to the list. Anyway, if you two would stop stroking your egos and sucking your own *BEEP*, Guillermo: Or sucking each other's *BEEP*, Casimiro: *laughs* then you'd realize that we are here to answer your challenge. That's right! We accept. We'll fight you two. Because, frankly, we are sick and damn tired of the homophobic jabs, of the pot shots on the Internet, and of your faces. So, we will wrestle you so that we can silence your obnoxious, annoying, imbecilic, egotistical mouths once and for all. The Maxx: Oh... hold on... I can't breathe... I'm choking on the HYPOCRISY in this building! "Homophobic jabs", you mean like the one you just made? "Potshots on the internet", as in those which you have taken at... *The Maxx reaches into his pocket & unfurls a long, long roll of paper. He starts reading names from it.* The Maxx: ... Tristan Hades, The Maxx, James Bon Jovi, Fannie Packag.... Bon Jovi: Let's just stop it there, shall we? We don't really have all night to be out here when there's an incredibly slow-moving tournament going on. *The Maxx tosses his list aside.* The Maxx: What it boils down to, Latin Losers, is our superiority over you in every conceivable measure, from wrestling ability, to intellect, to web-show quality, to fashion ensures that one of the most decorated Tag-Teams in W*I*G will be notching up another one in the "win" column by the conclusion of our match. Hell, why not have it at MAYhem, maybe you can come up with a strategy to win that doesn't involve illegal double-team moves. Bon Jovi: Of course, anything involving actually wrestling two maestros of the mat will lead to abject failure on your part. The Maxx: And as we stand victorious over the pair of you, you will try not to be, but you simply cannot help but to... The Maxx & Bon Jovi: Be Substantially Envious! *"Have A Nice Day" cues up again as The Maxx & Bon Jovi merely drop their mics. The Latin Lovers glare at them with a seething hatred as the arrogant duo goad & taunt them from the ring.* *Cut to Commercial.*
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Post by The Hardcore Disciple on May 26, 2009 23:36:23 GMT -5
*We join Cee and Katya at a local grocery store. The cart is full of healthy-ish foods. Cee has a pencil in his mouth and another one applied to a pad of paper in his hand, seemingly deep in thought.*
Katya: Still stumped, Cee? Cee: A-yup. Katya: I'll admit, I don't know much about the business, but maybe I can help out? What kind of gimmicks are there? Cee: Many--some very straightforward, some much more subtle. Upstart rookies, lady killers, wild men, foreigners--both good and evil... Katya: Mm, W*I*G has plenty of those already. *handling a package of mushrooms* How about an occupational gimmick? Cee: Ah, yes...the proud day-jobber. Wrestler by night, insert-real-job-here by day. The dominion of TL Hopper, IRS, and Doink alike. Good for starters, but never good enough for a belt. Katya: Nobody said you had to keep it forever, love. Cee: True--once I get a contract, I can drop it whenever I please. Katya: Exactly! Now, for you, I'm thinking...lumberjack. Cee: Erm, no. Katya: Hockey player? Cee: *grabbing a box of granola bars from the shelf and tossing it into the cart* Been done, and I don't much like hockey. Katya: Really? No wonder you're living in the States these days. Umm, Mountie? Cee: Can we please step away from the Canadian stereotypes? Next you'll say I should be the very embodiment of nationalized healthcare, or a Quebecois separatist gone militant and annoying. Katya: Sorry...I was just trying to help... Cee: Nah, I'm sorry--I just get tired of stereotypes like that, is all. Katya: Well, where else can we go with this? Cee: I-- Dude: Oh my God!
*Our dynamic duo spin around to face the source source of the outburst: a lanky man with long, straggly hair, a scruffy goatee which brushes the collar of the Opeth t-shirt he's wearing. Dirty jeans, torn in several places, and scuffed Converse hightops which appear to have once been gray, completes his ensemble. He's pointing directly at the two.*
Cee: Erm, can we help you? Dude: You're Katya Magnussen, the pin-up model, aren't you? Katya: Yep, that's me...always nice to meet a fan. Dude: Aww! Your shoot for Frederick's was awesome! I still have the magazine at home. Cee: *inspecting dried soba noodles* Frederick's? I didn't know you shot for them. Katya: It was a while before we met--the money was right, and it was a good opportunity when I hadn't been in the business long. Dude: Oh, hey! You're that wrestler, Cri-- Cee: *shudders and frantically waves his hands* Ha-bip-bip-bip! Just...call me Cee. Dude: Oh, sure. Hey, are you two working on new gimmicks? Cee: Well, yeah-- Dude: Dude, you know what you should be? You should be a big game hunter! Cee: Erm, I don't think I know enough about that hobby to pull that gimmick off. Katya: An ice cream man. Cee: Tempting, but no. Dude: A wrestling mime! Newspaper reporter! Census agent! Cosplayer! Mr. Perfect revamp! Cee: Dude, inside voice. Next, you're all over the place. Some of those are good-- Dude: So you'll take 'em! Sweet! Cee: Uh, sure, yeah. Dude: Awesome! Maybe we should hang out later, once I get off my job at the Verizon store... Katya: Sounds good--we'll meet you there.
*With this, Katya begins pushing the cart into Cee's back, shoving him emphatically forward.*
Dude: But, wait, you don't know-- Katya: Yeah, we'll meet you there sometime.
*The two make their way onward, leaving their fan behind as they turn the corner and start down the next aisle.*
Katya: Does that happen to you often? Cee: I was about to ask you the same question. Katya: Hm--oh! What about a fake Luchador, like that Charlie Haas guy? Cee: *jots down a note* I think I could do that.
*to be continued...*
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The Innocent
Opener
Rosie: First Ever WIG Women's Champion
Posts: 88
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Post by The Innocent on Jun 3, 2009 2:08:50 GMT -5
We cut to the WIGSphere once more, as the bell sounds for the next upcoming match. Finkel: The following contest is a Quarter-Finals match in the Colvin Cup tournament scheduled for one fall! Bailey: And here we go with the next in our series of Quarter Final matches for the Colvin Cup. This one is especially interesting because... well, for one we don't know who one of these teams will be exactly! Lawless: Personally, I have my suspicions who it might be. Malice Mizer's Goodbye Blood and Rose begins to pick up on the Colvintron, as the crowd boos loudly, anticipating the arrival of the first competitor it seems. Sure enough, the masked Vile emerges from the back, clad in her usual purplish, black, and white attire. Without a bit of emotion, the former GND Champion makes her way down the ramp, the crowd continuously showering her with harsh jeering.The woman however ignores them all, before stopping at the bottom of the ramp, now slowly folding her arms at her chest, slowly craning her neck and looking back to the entrance way, now awaiting her tag team partner for this bout. She doesn't have to wait long, as almost immediately March to the Scaffold soon begins to play on the Colvintron. The booing simply continues, as the entrance ramp becomes bathed in a golden light. Soon enough, a familiar blonde haired young man emerges, arms casually folded behind his back. Dressed in that same jump suit he's accustomed to donning, he bows a bit obliviously towards the rather hostile crowd. He then raises himself back up and makes his way down the ramp as well, Vile meanwhile waiting for him at the bottom. Soon enough, he joins her, the two exchanging a quick glance, before resuming their trek towards the ring. Finkel: Introducing first, Representing The Innocent, from The Land of Purity, weighing in at 227 pounds, Joshua! And his tag team partner, from Las Vegas Nevada, weighing in at 151 pounds, Vile! Bailey: And here comes a team that actually has a fair bit of experience with one another. Last month at Attrition, Vile and Joshua teamed up against the likes of Lily Rose and Tanya Flaire in a guitar on a pole match. Not only that, but they also came out victorious. Lawless: Well of course. Did you really expect Joshua to get his ass kicked by a girl? Bailey: But the question remains... who are their opponents going to be tonight? The first team quickly slips into the ring, the crowd continuing to boo them both quite vociferously. Joshua steps up the ring steps, then casually stepping through the ropes from one side, while Vile meanwhile vaults inside the ring. The two of them quickly join one another back in the center of the ring, Joshua simply nodding to his partner, as she turns her attention towards the entrance ramp, definitely seeming quite focused despite her hidden facials. Finkel turns his own attention towards the ramp way as well. Finkel: And introducing their opponents... Suddenly, the hall of famer stops, as someone walks out from the backstage area, looking to be a random messenger of some sort. Both Vile and Joshua spot him coming down to the ring, though neither of them seems to care to much, Joshua retaining his content smile, while Vile simply focuses back on the entrance ramp. The messenger meanwhile whispers something in Finkel's ear, who nods, now raising the microphone back to his lips as this gofer runs to the back once more. Lawless: Whose this stooge? Bailey: That's Alec Ragway, one of W*I*G* errand boys. Lawless: Like I said, whose this stooge? Bailey: The better question is, what is he doing out here? Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen, I have just been informed that the original team scheduled to compete tonight unfortunately had to cancel due to unforeseen circumstances... Once again, the crowd begins to boo quite loudly, not at all happy with this news it seems. The two present wrestlers in the ring glance at each other once again, the blonde haired young man casually stroking under his chin, while Vile simply shrugs, not seeming to mind a forfeit. Bailey: Well... that's a damn shame for sure. But I guess things like this can't be helped. Lawless: Looks like Joshua and Vile just got a free pass to the next round! Not so enthusiastic about the masked freak advancing, but one out of two ain't bad. Finkel: HOWEVER... thankfully we have found a replacement team! Almost immediately Joshua and Vile turn their attention back over to Finkel nearby, both of them now seeming understandably confused. Finkel: Now then, introducing their opponents... Lawless: A replacement at such short notice?! Bailey: I guess our higher ups are on the ball and had planned for such an occasion. Got to hand it to them for being so prepared. But all that means is there's a new mystery team, which still doesn't explain who is going to be opposing Joshua and Vile! The crowd waits for a bit, curious to see who this replacement might be. They don't have to wait long though as... Metallica's St. Anger picks up on the Colvintron first! Joshua's eyes immediately begin to widen, his expression now looking utterly confused, as Vile meanwhile leans forward near the rope, herself seeming to be quite surprised by this predicament as well! The two of them watch as the former W*I*G* Women's Champion stomps out from the back, a less then pleased look on her sour face, as she's looking rather naked since the last time we saw are. This time, Rosie is clad in a less golden yellow jump suit, as she slowly stomps down towards the ring, the crowd half booing the woman and half cheering the anticipation of the two Innocent members stepping in the ring against one another for the first time! Finkel: Representing the Innocent, from the Land of Purity, weighing in at 200 pounds, Rosie! Lawless: WHAT?! Bailey: The former W*I*G* Undisputed Women's Champion is the first part of our team here. Considering her relationship with Joshua, as well as her past rivalry with Vile, this could definitely makes things interesting. Lawless: But what self respecting man actually agreed to team with that hag?! The woman quickly reaches the ring, vaulting onto the ring apron and looking at Joshua with a rather uncaring expression, then gazing back at one of the women to successfully pin her, if only in a stalemate, a look of anger filling her eyes. Clearly the woman has some unresolved issues here. Vile simply glares back at her from behind her mask, Joshua meanwhile still in disbelief that he'll be facing his ally in this match. Finkel however isn't done just yet. Finkel: Introducing her tag team partner... Vile and Joshua both once again turn their attention towards the entrance way, definitely curious to see who else the higher ups of W*I*G* have in store for them. They soon get their question answered as... Type O Negative's I Don't Wanna Be Me picks up on the Colvintron! Practically everyone in the arena now looks at the ramp way in disbelief, excluding Rosie who simply flashes a huge Cheshire Cat style grin. As expected, a familiar man emerges from the entrance way, clad in a black sleeveless top, match elbows pads, wrist tape, and a trademark trench coat. Accompanying those clothes are a number of bandages all over his body, obviously damage left over from that hellacious I Quit Dog Collar match last month he engaged in with the new W*I*G* Champion, Synthy Eris. Like Rosie, Coltrane is also looking quite a bit different. Slowly the man opens up his coat, but there is no belt to be displayed. The man however seems to ignore this, as his eyes become fixated upon the ring before him. Finkel: From Queens, New York, weighing in at 234 pounds, Coltrane! Bailey: WHAT?! Lawless: Coltrane?! But wasn't he taken out of action last month by Synthy Eris?! He must be a damn fast healer. Bailey: I must admit, not even I saw this coming. Both our first World and Women's Champion teaming together in our first ever Colvin Cup. Lawless: My guess is they both want another shot at the new respective champions. And what better way then to do so then win a pair of contracts that can be cashed in anytime you want?! Bailey: Obviously nobody is going to be happy about this development, especially not Joshua and Vile. He immediately becomes marching down the ramp towards it, both Vile and Joshua looking considerably more intimidated by the presence of a former World Champion, albeit a wounded one. Immediately they back up aways, as Coltrane immediately slides into the ring, taking one quick look at his apparent partner, another former champion who seems quite satisfied with her partner choice. Coltrane meanwhile turns his attention to both of their opponents, a completely focused look in his eyes. Joshua takes a quick glance at the familiar man, then back at the even more familiar Rosie, now grasping his head closely, as he tries to decide what to do in this situation. Vile however keeps her focus directly on Rosie, seemingly intent on pinning her shoulders to the mat without controversy. The bell sounds, as finally this battle can begin. Joshua and Vile quickly consult one another in their corner of the ring, now deciding who should start off against these new opponents of their's. Meanwhile, across from the other side, Rosie and Coltrane simply stand side by side, flashing a quick gaze at one another as they await their opponent's decision. Eventually, Vile volunteers to start this match off, as Joshua nods in compliance, exiting to the apron himself. Coltrane reluctantly exits to the outside himself as Rosie immediately steps forward, the former champion seeming a bit eager to avenge that near loss she suffered. Bailey: Looks like the two women will be kicking things off. Lawless: And we use that term loosely in this case. Bailey: Regardless, this should be a very interesting bout for certain. The two women quickly step up to the center of the ring, meeting nose to nose as they get up close with each other. Rosie simply looks at her masked adversary with a sickening glower, her opponent simply glaring back through the eye hole in her mask. Suddenly, Vile rears back out of nowhere, driving a stiff forearm right into Rosie's jaw, sending the woman staggering back slightly. She grasps at her jaw, only for Vile to quickly unload with a few more, battering the "women" further with these blows, and continuing to push her back a bit. Rosie doesn't seem to be showing too much damage from these attacks though, as she eventually catches Vile by the arm, quickly slinging her forward and sending her sailing over the top rope! Rosie smirks and dusts her hands off cockily, before turning around, only to get a second forearm right between the eyes as Vile springboards off the ropes back at her! Rosie stumbles back at the blow, grasping at her face. Vile meanwhile rises back to her feet, then charging full speed back over at her dazed opponent, leaping high into the air with a dropkick! Rosie however quickly side steps the move, perhaps sensing it, sending Vile crashing back down to the canvas. She rubs a bit further along her already hideous features, as Vile pushes back up to her feet. As soon as she does though, Rosie lunges in and drives her head right against Vile's own masked one, sending the woman stumbling back with ease from the force! The masked grappler grabs at her own cranium, holding it slightly, only for Rosie to snatch it up in her own grip, pulling her own back once more, then driving a second head butt into her hidden face! Again Vile stumbles back, Rosie then immediately snatching her by an arm, quickly whipping her off towards the other side of the ring! Vile goes sprinting forwards, bouncing off the ropes and back, as Rosie catches her as she comes back with a clothesline right between the eyes. Immediately the women goes down flat on her back, grabbing now at her neck slightly, as Rosie stomps over and drives her boot right into the guarded features of Vile, pressing down with it and grinding her heel against there. Lawless: And I think Vile is remembering just why Rosie is such a dangerous opponent. Bailey: I don't think she forgot in the first place. Especially not after that reminder! Vile guards at her face a bit, as Rosie continues to dig her foot into it. She then raises it up high, before stomping right between the eyes of her opponent, Vile gasping slightly, as she immediately rolls off to the side for a bit. Her slightly larger opponent simply watches and folds her powerful arms, a rather pleased sneer on her face. She then stomps forwards, grabbing Vile as she begins to rise back up. However, she's soon blinded by an immediate rake to the eyes from an equally dirty opponent! Rosie grasps at her face, a rather annoyed look forming across it as she backs away a bit. Vile then grabs her by the jaw, immediately dropping down to her knees for a jaw breaker! Rosie stumbles back a bit more from this move, rubbing a bit more on that jacked jaw of her's, as well as her pupils. Vile then grabs her around the neck, setting up for an Evenflow DDT! Rosie however quickly blocks it with a foot, then hoisting her opponent high into the air and charging forward, driving her back against the nearest turnbuckle with sheer force! Vile gasps slightly, now sandwiched between it and her opponent. Rosie immediately begins to rain down a series of fists into her opponent's face, who quickly grabs and protects with her hands. Regardless, the former champion simply reigns down even more of these, eventually seating her into the bottom of the turnbuckle. Rosie then starts stomping down viciously across that same face with her foot, as Vile continues to try and guard it from this continued assault. The woman then stops these stompings, only to force her foot instead into the same area, now deliberately grinding it even more against that face of her's. Desperately, Vile manages to push it away from her, Rosie however maintaining her balance and simply measuring her opponent as she rises up. She then charges forward for a body splash, intent on squashing Vile further between that turnbuckle! The agile woman however slips out of the way, as Rosie instead meets the turnbuckle chest first, grimacing slightly as she doubles over. Vile then slips behind, leaping up and immediately taking the larger woman into a rolling clutch pin! 1.....2.. Bailey: And Vile with the first pin attempt in the match. Looks like she's decided to take advantage of her speed advantage in this case, which is a very wise move. Lawless: Definitely not a stupid idea. Rosie however quickly escapes, pushing Vile off her heavier form with ease! The masked woman than quickly heads back over to her corner of the ring, where her partner awaits. She then reaches out, quickly making a tag. Joshua enters the ring, stepping through the ropes, now eying his ally Rosie. The woman meanwhile turns back around, expecting Vile to be present, only to instead spot the blonde haired young man. Her look of anger begins to twist into a slightly more reluctant one, as she simply stands in place. Joshua meanwhile gazes back from the other side, an equally conflicted expression across his own face. He slowly begins to approach, as Rosie looks back, rubbing at her jaw slightly as she does. The two of them meet up, now beginning to look one another up and down. The crowd in the background begins to chant loudly in the background "Fight! Fight! Fight!" Joshua however simply steps forward, now beginning to speak with Rosie it seems, though you can't really make out what he's saying. Rosie looks on with a bit of a confused expression, as she listens to these words. The two of them then look at one another, eventually Joshua convincing her of something. Vile meanwhile looks on the outside, not sure what to make of this. Eventually Rosie backs off and heads towards her own corner, where Coltrane awaits. She then reaches out and tags him in, the man slowly nodding and stepping through the ropes into the ring. The crowd seems to boo though, as they've been cheated out of an Innocent confrontation. Joshua simply leans forward, watching the former W*I*G* World Champion enter the ring. The young man forms a smile on his face, as Coltrane simply looks at him with a cold uncaring look. Bailey: Joshua and Rosie are obviously not going to be squaring off it appears. Though search me for a reason why. Lawless: For all we know, that cult leader of their's could've forbidden it. Damn spoilsport. Slowly, the two of them begin to circle the ring, eyes locked on one another as they do so. Soon the two men lunge in at one another, quickly locking up. Immediately Coltrane takes advantage, doing a quick go behind and forcing his opponent into a quick hammerlock, cranking on that limb and pressing it firmly into the small of Joshua's back. The blonde haired man grimaces slightly, as the master mimic keeps his hold. Joshua however quickly drops down, countering and taking his opponent down with a quick drop toe hold, sending him face first into the canvas! Joshua than quickly floats over, grabbing him around the head and cranking on a side headlock. Coltrane feels him applying this hold, himself now struggling to get free. The former champion quickly pushes back up to his feet, Joshua following as he keeps his hold. Coltrane then grabs his opponent from behind, taking him into the air for a backdrop suplex! Joshua however manages to free himself, flipping with the momentum and landing behind, quickly snapping him down with a Russian Leg Sweep! He then rolls backwards quickly, now pressing his legs down atop of Coltrane's own, forcing him into a rather innovative pin. 1.....2.... Coltrane manages to free himself. Joshua rolls back to his feet, rubbing slightly on his arm as he does so. Coltrane meanwhile grabs his back slightly and returns to a vertical base as well. The two men look at each other once more, Coltrane sporting an unamused glare, while Joshua simply flashes an erriely content smile. Once again, the two of them begin to circle the ring, before lunging back in once more. This time Joshua manages to take the advantage, taking Coltrane down with a back heel trip, forcing him down to the canvas, as he once again slips over, grabbing around his head once more and applying another side headlock. Coltrane looks on in pain, as it seems the psycho is targeting that already hurting neck of his. He quickly counters this, arching up slowly with his weight, as Joshua struggles to keep his hold on that cranium. The accomplished Coltrane then takes him quickly into a backslide pin! 1.....2..... Joshua however manages to reverse this pin, taking Coltrane into one of his own! 1......2.... Bailey: A very nice exchange there by these two. Both men trading holds and countering each other's maneuvers. Lawless: Joshua clearly has an advantage. Something tells me Coltrane hasn't completely recovered from that brutal I Quit Dog Collar match. Bailey: That's a very distinct possibility. Again Coltrane escapes, quickly rising back to his feet once more, now rubbing a bit more on that neck of his. Joshua returns to a vertical base as well, still looking quite pleased with his actions. Coltrane of course is much less so. For a third time, the two competitive men begin to encircle the ring, still keeping a close eye on one another. This time however Joshua simply charges right at Coltrane, only for the man to leapfrog quickly over him,. Joshua keeps running, bouncing back off the ropes, then charging back in, ducking under as Coltrane swings with a clothesline, before richoteting off from the other side and leaping up high, wrapping his leg around the throat of his opponent. Coltrane however scouts this, scooping Joshua up in mid move, then driving him down into the canvas with a Scoop Slam! The Blonde Haired young man grasps at his back slightly, quickly sitting back up only for Coltrane to drop down and drive a knee into the spine of Joshua, the latter man's eyes widening in pain. He continues with a series of more of these, before finally forcing a knee into that back, as well as clinching in a chin lock. Joshua's eyes widen a bit more, feeling his opponent starting to focus on that spine area, as he tries to escape his grasp. Coltrane however keeps an intent lock on that neck, wrenching viciously across it. The blonde young man soon manages to push back to his feet, firing off a quick elbow to the side of Coltrane's head, only for him to immediately hoist him back up high, this time successfully driving him into the canvas with a backdrop suplex! Joshua's eyes widen in pain once again, grasping further at that area, as Coltrane drops down, covering him for a pin. 1.....2..... Bailey: Coltrane has now taken full control it looks like. He seems to be targeting the back of Joshua here. An interesting choice, as you figure the legs would be a better choice. Lawless: Perhaps Coltrane knew that Joshua would suspect he'd target the legs and went for another body part instead to throw him off. Bailey: ... That's not the worst theory I've heard. Joshua manages to kick out. The former champion looks down with annoyance, hoisting him off the canvas and into a front chancery, now dragging him over towards his partner and tagging out to her. Rosie looks at him as he does, once again a look of concern on her face. Coltrane simply glares at her rather impatiently, as he drives an elbow into the back of Joshua's head to keep him still. Slowly, the fiery woman steps into the ring, gazing down at her ally, now rubbing her brow in thought. She then raises her fist high... only to stop it in mid move. Coltrane immediately looks at her, quite concerned by this, as Rosie and him exchange words. As they do, Joshua manages to slip free from the former champion's grasp, grabbing his back still, then making his way over to tag out to Vile. The masked woman climbs into the ring, looking far more eager it seems, as Coltrane gives a look of disgust, shaking his head, then stopping back onto the apron. Rosie pounds a fist into her forehead, as it seems she regrets her reluctance. Immediately Vile charges in as she's distracted, charging in and drilling her between the eyes with a stiff running elbow to the face! The woman immediately regains focus, grabbing her face as well, and stumbling back from this shot. Vile then fires back with a second standing one, only for it to be caught by the beastly broad, who returns fire with a stiff fist right between those masked eyes! Vile staggers back herself, as Rosie begins unloading a few more, pounding away even further at her opponent, as Vile attempts to endure these blows. She then follows up with a powerful clothesline, swinging right at that already sore face. Vile however ducks under it quickly, sending Rosie staggering forward in result. Vile then grabs her from by the neck, immediately taking her down with a falling neck breaker! Rosie goes down, grabbing at her neck slightly, as Vile quickly sprawls atop, making a cover. 1.....2... Bailey: Again, Rosie hesitates on taking advantage and it costs her. And it looks like Vile is taking full advantage of her mistake there. Lawless: That's what happens when you're held back by personal alliances on your opponent. You tend to hold back and more often than not, it ends up biting you on the ass. And right now, Rosie's got huge chunk taken out of her's. Bailey: How profound. Rosie powers out, sending Vile flying off her larger mass. She then pushes back to her feet, a rather angry expression across her face now. However as she does, Vile lands on her feet, bouncing off the ropes as she lands, then charging in and nailing her between the eyes with a high boot to the face! Rosie stumbles back once more, rubbing at her features, as Vile immediately springs atop the nearby turnbuckle, then leaping off with a flying clothesline! Rosie however scoops her up by the neck in mid move, immediately dropping her to the mat with a vicious Uranage! Vile grasps her back in pain, as Rosie quickly drops down, now covering the woman in return. 1.....2.... Vile however manages to kick out. Rosie looks on with annoyance at this. She quickly pushes back up to her feet, then leaping up, connecting with a fist drop on the way down right across Vile's masked complexion! The woman grabs once again at the area, as Rosie then climbs atop her prone form, now beginning to rain down a further series of blows with her hands, Vile quickly covering up in protection. Rosie then pushes back to her feet, standing above Vile's prone shape. She then reaches down and hoists Vile up with her bare hands by the neck, a rather cocky smirk as she does, before falling back and taking the woman into a Samoan Drop! Vile crumples beneath her opponent's weight, as Rosie sits up and quickly crosses her throat with a palm. She then climbs atop and covers Vile for a pin. 1.....2..... Bailey: And once again Vile is back on the defensive here as Rosie reasserts herself. Lawless: It's very tough to take back control when you're getting beaten like that, but when you're as big and mean as Rosie, it's definitely a bit less so. Vile manages to get a shoulder up this time. Rosie looks quite annoyed by this, immediately yanking Vile up to her feet once more, only to get a second rake of the eyes in retaliation! Immediately Rosie stumbles back, grabbing at those pupils in reaction. Vile then grabs her from behind and begins to set up, looking for a Reploid Buster! However in mid lift, she drops down, immediately grasping at her back in pain. Rosie drops back from behind and looks on with fury, grabbing the downed Vile from behind and driving a head butt into the back of her skull, sending her down further. She then stands over her and drops down onto her back, setting her up immediately for an STF hold, only to grab her by both arms, interlocking them and applying an Step Over Toe Hold Full Nelson! Vile immediately begins to gasp in pain, as she feels the full weight of Rosie atop her spine, as well as that pressure being applied on her neck area. Slowly, the masked woman struggles to try and escape, angrily pounding on the mat with her face in aggravation, as she tries to escape this hold. The crowd, seeming not to care much about the outcome of this one simply cheers as Vile is forced into this painful submission, Rosie meanwhile looking quite pleased herself, as she cranks away on her opponent, looking intent to get a victory here and get one step closer to advancing in this tournament. Vile however refuses to give in, desperately trying to break that full nelson with her trapped arms, but to little avail. Rosie simply continues to keep it locked on, further forcing her to endure this pain. Vile growls with anger, now starting to inch her way towards the ropes as she squirms along the canvas. The former champion notices this however and simply shakes her head with a sneer, forcing even more of her weight down on that prone form. Vile continues to struggle in agony, until finally she manages to rear back and drive her head into Rosie's own face! She immediately loosens her grip, grimacing slightly from this desperation attack. Vile meanwhile uses this opportunity, now quickly crawling along the mat towards the bottom rope, lunging out and grabbing ahold! Immediately the referee forces Rosie to break the hold, who looks on in absolute fury! Lawless: Vile just showed her own spunk right there, as she endures that excruciating attack on her own spine, lasting just long enough to break that hold with the ropes. Bailey: Vile is no slouch in the ring either. She can obviously take quite a bit of punishment herself and we just saw proof of that right there. Lawless: But the question is, did Rosie take enough out of her to finish the job? Vile grabs at her back in pain, now pushing herself back up with help from the ropes. She pants lightly from inside that mask of her's, as Rosie meanwhile gets back to her own feet, rubbing at that face of her's in anger, then immediately charging in. Vile however locks her arms under the nearby ropes, propelling her feet into the air and right in Rosie's face, sending her stumbling back further! She then springboards atop the ropes, before leaping off and nailing Rosie between the eyes with a high dropkick, sending her flailing backwards and crashing down to the canvas, now grabbing further at her hideous features. Immediately Vile begins crawling over towards her corner of the ring, Joshua watching intently from the outside as she does. Rosie meanwhile makes her own way back over towards Coltrane, who seems quite focused on this bout as well. Soon the two women find their way, lunging in and tagging out, as Coltrane and Joshua both enter the ring! Immediately both men charge at one another, Joshua however leaping up high and connecting with a leg lariat to Coltrane's throat! The man goes down, grabbing at it intently, then rising back up, as Joshua follows, only to charge and connect with a second one, once again taking Coltrane down, who looks on with fury at this. He quickly pushes back to his feet, as Joshua now begins unloading with a series of stiff kicks right across that neck, the former champion gasping in pain from these. He then manages to catch the agile young man by one of these legs, now forcing him onto his back with a shove! Joshua immediately drops down, grabbing at his back once more, as Coltrane looks on with fury. He then pushes back to his feet, charges in, and nails a kick of his own to Joshua's face, putting him back down on the canvas once again. He then immediately begins stomping angrily across his face, sending him rolling off to the side. Coltrane then stomps the ground, looking intently as Joshua rises back.up. He then immediately leaps up for a Soul Cleanser at the rising young man! Bailey: Joshua comes in with a flurry of offense there... but Coltrane manages to reverse the momentum quickly. Lawless: There's a reason why he was the first W*I*G* Champion. Bailey: And just as I suspected, Coltrane pulling out Joshua's own Soul Cleanser! However... he can't seem to pull it off, instead hitting some sort of jumping kick. Though he still manages to nail Joshua in the face as he rises back up, sending him down to the mat clutching at the area. Coltrane looks down at the mat, holding his head slightly, a bit surprised that he missed. Though after a brief hesitation, he quickly drops down and looks to make a pin on Joshua. 1.....2..... Bailey: That was odd. Lawless: Well, nobody bats 1000 Tom. I doubt there's anyone that can pull off a move perfectly every time. Bailey: You do have a point. But regardless of execution, that move may just be enough to move Coltrane and Rosie to the next round! Joshua however manages to kick out. Immediately Coltrane looks on with annoyance, sitting on the mat and rubbing at his with frustration. Immediately he rises back to his feet, then yanks up the blonde haired young man along with him. He then hoists him high up into the air, holding him aloft quite high, before falling back and dropping him with a Vertical Suplex! Joshua crashes down to the mat upon contact, grasping at his back once more as he lands, eyes widening in pain. Coltrane then begins to stalk him once more, now looking particularly focused on this match. He then stomps his foot once again into the mat, looking on with complete focus at his opponent. Again Joshua begins to rise back up. As soon as he does, Coltrane charges in for a clothesline, only for Joshua to quickly duck down and launch him to the outside with a back body drop! The mimicking monster immediately gets sent to the outside, landing on his neck and grasping it in pain. Joshua meanwhile grabs at his back and waits inside the ring. He then ducks down, an equally focused look beginning to form in his own eyes as he watches Coltrane on the outside. Soon enough, the man begins to rise up from the ground, now starting to ascend the ring apron once again. Joshua simply keeps his eyes focused completely on the man, almost in somewhat of a trance like state it would appear. He then leaps up, looking for a Soul Cleanser of his own! However before he can connect, Coltrane gets yanked off the ring apron from behind, allowing him to dodge this attack! Rosie looks on from the outside, eying her ally and simply shrugging her shoulders, giving a look that says nothing personal" However, as she looks at her, Vile comes charging in out of nowhere, vaulting over the ropes and taking the giant woman down with a suicide dive, sending them both down on the outside! The masked woman then begins raining down stiff elbows atop her fallen opponent, who looks quite angry with this, quickly trying to fight the slightly smaller woman off of her. Joshua simply watches rather interested, when suddenly he gets his neck yanked down atop the ropes! He gasps slightly, staggering back and grabbing at that throat of his in pain. Coltrane then quickly slips back into the ring, though still rubbing at his throat slightly. His teeth grit slightly, eyes filled with intense focus, as he once again leaps up, aiming a second Soul Cleanser attempt at his opponent! Bailey: And after that distraction following Vile's attack on Rosie, Coltrane takes advantage and uses the ropes to full advantage. Lawless: Dirty... but effective. Bailey: It looks like Coltrane is gonna try to finish things one more time! However, once again he botches things, landing awkwardly on his feet. The man grows rather confused at this, looking briefly down at the ground for a moment to check his feet, making sure that they are still working. He then glances back up, just in time to receive a more Soul Cleanser to the face, sending him down in a heap! Joshua rubs at his back slightly once more, before quickly climbing atop, hooking the leg and making a cover attempt! 1.....2.....3! The bell sounds, Rosie and Vile both immediately looking back up from their current positions outside the ring, wondering what just happened. Finkel: Here are your winners.... who will advance to the next round, Joshua and Vile! Lawless: It looks like Coltrane's injuries have caught up with him and he overestimated exactly how much he had recovered. Bailey: Indeed. The third time was definitely the charm tonight... but unfortunately for Coltrane, it was the original Soul Cleanser that sealed his fate. The crowd, still quite conflicted on who to root for this match, simply gives up and boos loudly for them both. Joshua rises back to his feet, now looking down at the downed Coltrane on the canvas. He forms a rather pleased look on his face, as the referee holds up his arm in victory. Vile meanwhile slips in herself, also looking quite content to have gained the victory. The referee grabs hold of her arm as well, raising them both high into the air for all to see. Rosie meanwhile watches on in disbelief from the outside, perhaps unable to fathom that she lost despite teaming with a former W*I*G* Champion. Coltrane on the other hand continues to lay on the canvas, a look of disbelief now present on his complexion. He slowly rolls out of the ring, rubbing further at his features as he exits. The man then begins to make his way back up the ramp way, rubbing over his forehead in contemplation as he does. Rosie from nearby flashes a rather annoyed scowl, before she too begins to follow back up the ramp way. Joshua and Vile meanwhile look at one another inside the ring, giving a brief glance at their opponents as they leave as well. The two of them then exchange a quick nod of agreement, before they too emerge from the ring, following the losers back up the ramp, though with much more sense of victory. Lawless: And Joshua and Vile are headed to the semi finals with a very impressive victory over TWO former champions. Bailey: Rest assured though, things could've have easily gone the other way as well. But thanks to a number of factors, it just wasn't Rosie and Coltrane's night. You can guarantee that they aren't happy about this result. Lawless: So that means we only have one more match to go in the quarter finals. Only time will tell who moves on to join the other three semi finalists! We then cut back to the brackets, as we see Mystery Team #1 being crossed out, while Joshua and Vile's name join Sean McCann/Maeve O Hare and Chaz Stone/Fannie
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The World
Local Talent
What's what we are!
Posts: 13
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Post by The World on Jun 5, 2009 15:48:57 GMT -5
-|- In the locker room area we find one of the members of The World, W*I*G's massive eleven man stable of the under appreciated and under utilized. Or at least that's what they perceive themselves to be. In this instance, it's Ron Paul Jones one half of the twin brother tag team that make up "The Superstars.” He lightly combs his spiked hair and makes sure his stubble is rugged enough before an interviewer makes his presence. -|- Cena: "Ron Paul, you asked for this time on behalf of The World. But where is your brother?" Ron Paul: My brother is busy taking this indignity to Mr. Fernandéz himself! Cena: Indignity? Ron Paul: The Superstars aren't getting a tag team title shot! In the very least, we deserve a spot on the card! Cena: With all due respect, The Superstars weren't exactly impressive at our last pay per view, Attrition. Ron Paul: We weren't ready! We didn't even get time to stretch! When we were heading down to the ring-- -|- A sound one could liken to chattering teeth is heard which makes Ron pause for a moment before he shakes it off and continues. -|- Ron Paul: We were going to wrestle a good match like everyone else, but then before we could do our pre-match pose that gives the Superstars good luck, we got hit with cheapshots! -|- Cena practically rolls his eyes at Ron's assertion before both of their attentions are averted by an approaching figure. Standing a few feet behind them, hunched over and with an arm wrapped firmly around his stomach. The elusive, lavender haired oddity clad lurches about like a revived corpse, his eyes never leaving his feet. Ron and Cena continue to watch and are able to determine that the chattering teeth are being supplied by this peculiar specimen. -|- Ron: Hey! -|-Ron figures this outsider is attempting to intervene on his television time and is obviously displeased by this. The figure doesn't acknowledge Ron in the least-|- Ron: I'm talking to you! You...whatever you are, you freak! This is my time! This is the time of a Superstar! -|- Ron approaches the unknown and places a hand on his shoulder. This proves to be a very terrible mistake on his part. Almost instantly upon feeling the physical contact the mysterious individual's head snaps upwards and his pale colored eyes flare open wide. He snatches Ron Paul by the head and proceeds to ram it into the nearest locker. Again. And again and again. His hands are clenched tightly around his face in suffocating fashion. The impact is loud, brutal and ferocious. The locker is dented severely and Cena cries for help from officials. They finally arrive and are able to pry the young man off as Ron's body limply falls to the floor. A trail of blood smears itself down the lockers surface from a wound that has appeared on the side of Ron's head. The officials and trainers check on his condition while the attacker backs into a corner and trembles like a twig in a thunder storm. -|-
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Coltrane
Opener
First Ever W*I*G* Champion
Posts: 29
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Post by Coltrane on Jun 5, 2009 19:13:38 GMT -5
*A pale, tall figure clad entirely in black is stalking the back corridors of the W*I*G-Sphere. Though he looks slightly rougher than the last time we saw him, it's clearly Coltrane. His face appears paler than usual, his stubble a little rougher, his hair is in complete disarray, his eyes appear hollow & he even seems slightly gaunt. His walk is more like a stagger. While one could rather safely assume he is not drunk, the loss of his Championship has definitely had an effect on him. His eyes seem to survey all around him without actually taking any of it in. He passes a similarly dishevelled looking figure crouched on the floor. The man sat on the floor, pushes his long greasy hair back & removes his cracked shades as the former W*I*G World Heavyweight Champion passes.*
Hereford: Well, well, look who it is! Our former World Heavyweight Champion, in all his glory! Bestowed with grace am I to gaze upon his dignified visage as he makes his rounds!
*Coltrane stops in his tracks. He doesn't say a thing, he doesn't even turn to acknowledge the verbal barbs thrown at him.*
Hereford: I'm...I'm in awe! Particularly in awe of how you were so thoroughly beaten down by Synthy Eris, at Attrition, before failing to win even ONE match in the Colvin Cup despite the opportunity presented! You, the mighty, dominant man who considered women to be a side show! And what does that make you? Why, the proverbial chemical toilet that sits far, far away from the tents, filled with nothing but shit and piss, stewing its own juices!
*This gives Coltrane pause. He turns to see the face of the man who mocks him.*
Hereford: Yeah, that's right! I'm talking to youl! You weak, pathetic, idiotic, mindless wretch!
*Coltrane begins to advance back in the direction of Hereford. Hereford, unusually doesn't seem to be trying to worm his way out. He's actually confronting Coltrane.*
Hereford: Oh? Have I offended you? Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know you were so sensitive! Well it's okay to feel sad sometimes, even if you're an animalistic freak of nature like you are!
*Jason gets to his feet, leaning against the wall, a finger pointing at Coltrane as he cackles as obnoxiously as possible. Coltrane remains stoic, but his breathing has gotten louder. It's almost as if he's grunting. He moves closer & closer to Hereford. If Hereford is at all intimidated he certainly isn't showing it. Coltrane is getting right up close to Hereford, his breathing still loud & angry sounding. Hereford is backed up against the wall, but still smirking.*
Hereford: Yeah. Go ahead. Hit me. Hit me! HIT ME! You know you want to! And yet at the same time...it'll prove how right I was about you. How you're nothing but an irrational pissant who thinks he can solve all his problems through head on, animalistic insanity! Which has, obviously, failed quite visibly...
Coltrane: *Mumbles*
Hereford: Care to speak up, moron?
*As Coltrane opens his mouth, his dried out lips crack.*
Coltrane: Do you have ANY reason why I shouldn't put an end to your feeble, degrading presence this second? Any possible defence of your continued existence both in this company... even on this planet?! Or do you have more of your ill-conceived opinions to spout off before I leave you in a bloodied heap as I have so often before?
Hereford: What bloodied heap do YOU speak of? You defeated me thanks to a low blow once, and stole MY pinfall the time after. Sure, you've beaten me. Twice, at that. But while that may be true...you're delusional to think you can destroy me. Especially the way you are. If you want a fight, Coltrane, you're more than welcome to have one. But don't think it'll go the way you want it to.
Coltrane: You think I bested you by pure chance? By mere fluke? And that after defeating you decisively on two seperate ocassions I would feel the need to test my mettle against you for a third time? You mean no more to me than the fleas which inhabit your body. Your continued existence should be presented as evidence that there is no God, for no creator would tolerate such a stain as yourself on that which he had crafted. Mr. Hereford, I have neither the desire, nor the inclination to face you again as, quite simply, I have nothing left to prove.
Hereford: So if you bested me decisively, what then would you call your last match with Synthy? A tactical victory? Ha! Look at yourself. I may be a filthy vagrant, but at least I've got my physical health and my mental composure. You possess neither at present. And so then, if I mean absolutely nothing, then what has brought you here before me? No one--no man, no woman, no animal--EVER comes back here, to this dank, disgusting abode of mine unless they've got a very important reason. Or I suppose, since I apparently mean nothing to you as you so eloquently put it, you just fancied a stroll for your failing health, Alexander Coltrane?
Coltrane: I... I don't even know why I am here. I happen to stumble in here... I...
*Coltrane takes a step or two back. Hereford relaxes, stepping forward from the wall. He looks at Coltrane with an expression of confused concern, moreso for his own safety while in the presence of an unhinged individual than for Coltrane himself.*
Coltrane: And the first person I encounter since my loss... is you? The person I defeated to become Champion in the first place?
*The two are nearly in a state of role reversal. Coltrane falls down to the floor, cradling his neck as Hereford stands over him.*
Coltrane: This... this isn't happenstance... I...
*Jason leans down towards Coltrane, his face becoming more animated as he stares at his downed visitor.*
Hereford: You what? What is it?
*Coltrane actually starts laughing. An event that somewhat startles Jason.*
Coltrane: It's not me, Hereford. It's not me! It's you! Everything that happened is due to you & your weakness!
*Coltrane's expression transforms to one of rage.*
Coltrane: I defeated you to lift that Championship, the thing that ruled my life! It's your fault I held it. It's your fault it consumed my being & it's your fault I can't exist without it!
*Jason Hereford backs away in disgust at hearing this, looking down at Coltrane with what seems morphed between half a sneer, and half a smirk.*
Hereford: You lost the title, not me! It's your fault this has happened to yourself, and moreover, it's your fault you were so foolhardy as to play against the odds and give that woman THREE shots at your title. And she figured you out and won the title. And you refused to change your style...to adapt...you had used such brilliant strategy to face me, so tell me then...WHY did you let your guard down after I was no longer in the title scene, after barring me from challenging again?
*Jason ponders this question on his own, answering before the hysterical man before him can do so.*
Hereford: No...I...I think I may know. You took me to be as serious a threat as anyone, am I not correct? And then you got arrogant. You underestimated an opponent who wrestles completely different from me and didn't adapt like you had done so before, am I not correct?
*Coltrane pauses as he looks up at Jason.*
Coltrane: ... you're right. YOU'RE RIGHT! I went about it all wrong. I need to... I... Hereford, you have hit upon it. Revel in this moment, for it is the only time I shall acquiesce to another. You have actually convinced me that I was going about it the wrong way...
*Jason looks at him, calmly, but his eyes light up as his mind processes another thought.*
Hereford: You, Alexander Coltrane, need to improve upon your style if you wish to succeed. Tell me, was your situation in the Quarter-Finals of the Cup a freak accident, or do you still remember your maneuvers?
*Coltrane looks around frantically, his eyes widen & he slaps the side of his head. He looks extremely panicked.*
Coltrane: No... I... Nothing. There's nothing there. I can't remember any of it. The things that made me... special... THEY'RE GONE!
Hereford: Then we'll need to fix that...among many, many other things. You'll need to train yourself. You'll need to redefine your style and learn a new combination of moves to utilize. You'll need to stabilize your mind. And you'll need to be better than you last were, to make certain that history doesn't repeat itself. And I doubt this will work if you do it alone...
*Coltrane cocks an eyebrow.*
Coltrane: You expect me to forge an alliance with you? Mr. Hereford, as accurate as your observation a few moments ago may have been, it would be quite foolish for me to entrust any aspect of my well-being with an individual such as yourself.
Hereford: And what well-being is it that remains? Coltrane, as much as this may shock you, I no longer have anything to gain at all from fighting you or harming you. Quite to the contrary, indeed, for there is one person we have a mutual dislike of...and something to gain...
*Coltrane tries to turn away, but his interest is piqued.*
Coltrane: Okay, Mr. Hereford, tell me more...
*Jason smiles devilishly, wiping his hair back as he glances up toward the ceiling in a scheming manner. But before the camera can record an audible response from Hereford, it fades into a combination of silence and black.*
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Fannie Package
Local Talent
W*I*G* Women's Champion
Bigger is Better!
Posts: 21
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Post by Fannie Package on Jun 7, 2009 11:32:57 GMT -5
*In his locker room, Chaz Stone is toweling off after a hard sparring session with his friend and partner, Fannie Package. The large Scotsman is flushed from exertion, but looks rather pleased with the workout. Through the shared door comes Fannie, a towel draped over her broad shoulders, a water bottle in one hand, and her gym bag in the other. She slips the bottle into a side pocket of the bag and sets the bag on the bench in front of her, then pulls her blonde curls back into a severe ponytail, catching them with a hairtie around her thick wrist.*
Chaz: Cor, lass…tha’ was a hell uvva workou’. Thank ye.
Fannie: Not a problem. I rather enjoyed it, too. *she takes a swig from the bottle* Say, is Lana still around? I wanted to get a word with her before we head out for the night.
Chaz: *nod* Aye, she’s takin’ a showah from wha’ Aye unnerstan’. She pushed herself pretty hard today at th’ gym. She’s takin’ this match with ye seriously.
Fannie: I’m glad—I am, too.
Chaz: If’n ye don’ mind me askin’ a curious question…why’d ye ask her to be yer firs’ opponent? No’ tha’ Aye’m criticizin’, mind ye. Lana’s a good lass, ta be sure, an’ she’s improved a lot since she’s been ‘ere. Bu’ she still seems an unlikely choice for ye.
Fannie: *shrugs* She’s my friend. She helped me train and she’s been nothing but supportive, even when we were facing off in the title match last month. She’s shown me more respect and friendship since she got here than most of the women in the locker room have since I’ve been in W*I*G. And, as you said, she’s improved a lot. Why not reward someone who’s put in so much effort to learning our craft?
Chaz: Fair eno’, lass. ‘S yer title an’ ye can do as ye please. But ye’ve pu’ me in a hell o’ a position.
Fannie: How do ya mean?
Chaz: Simple…how can Aye decide between two such lovely lasses an’ only root fer one of ye?
*Fannie looks pleased but disbelieving as Chaz grins and pulls a white t-shirt on. Then, tossing the towel in the laundry hamper, he grabs his bag and heads toward the door.*
Chaz: Shall we ‘ave dinner, th’ t’ree o’ us?
Fannie: Yeah, sounds good. I’ll be sure to tell Lana.
*Chaz nods and gives Fannie a wave as he heads out of the locker room area. Fannie, meanwhile, settles down on a wooden bench and waits for Lana to return from the showers. She’s sure to show, since a gym bag decorated with fleurs de lis is resting on the floor, along with a pair of size six patent leather Mary Janes and a blue headband. Fannie’s patience is rewarded when Lana steps back into the locker room, dressed in simple blue sweatpants and a gray tank, toweling dry her long red hair.*
Fannie: Hey there.
Lana: *jumping slightly* Oh, Fannie! Ya startled me…Ah didn’ t’ink dere was ennyone still heah… *she gives the larger woman a warm smile* How are ya?
Fannie: Not bad, not bad. I hear you’re training hard.
Lana: *slipping her feet into the black flats* Well, yeah. Dis is a big honor fo’ me. Ah didn’ t’ink Ah’d get enny closah to t’ose belts enny time soon den being near you. Since you were nice enough ta offah me de sho’, Ah wanna make de mos’ of mah chance. ‘Sides, Ah wouldn’ wanna embarrass ya durin’ yo firs’ defense by wrestlin’ a bad match. Ya did a lot ta earn dat title.
*The small Cajun woman blushes, seemingly afraid that she’s said too much. Lana is very much the type to wear her heart on her sleeve, and right now her near idol-worship of the Women’s champion is plain on her face.*
Lana: Ah didn’ mean ta babble on like dat. Ah’m sorry…
*Fannie bows her head slightly & smiles sweetly at Lana.*
Fannie: Lana, there's no need to be embarassed. If anything, I'm actually a little embarassed; it's not often I hear such glowing praise. I'm just glad to know that you're taking this seriously. I hope you know, I'm taking this seriosuly too.
Lana: O' course ah realize dat. Ah wanna insure dat you get da bes' outta me.
Fannie: I juat want to make sure you're prepared. I didn't win this title by pure fluke, y'know?
Lana: Fannie, Ah might not be as big or as strong as you, but don't go thinkin' Ah'm some weak little frail who needs her biggah friend to hold her hand all da time. We were bot' in dat match at Attrition an' I held mah own pretty well.
Fannie: You're misunderstanding me. I wasn't trying to imply that. Lana, we're friends, but out there in the ring, it's all business. I won't be holding back. When I look across the ring at you I won't be seeing Lana de la Croix, I'll be seeing another opponent. You'll be getting treated exactly the same as if I was facing Rosie or Chick Aura or Lily-Rose. I have no intention of letting our friendship get in the way of what we're going to be doing out there.
Lana: Okay, Ah getcha. But you know, I won't be takin' it easy on you neither. Ah don' expect ya ta be holdin' back at all, in fact, Ah hope ya don'! Ah wanna show dat Ah ain't jus' heah ta look pretty or stan' back an' let you an' Chaz get allada action. Ah'm goin' out dere ta prove dat Ah belong wit' da best o' W*I*G, an' if dat means Ah have ta take da Undisputed W*I*G Women's Championship off one a' ma best friends, don' t'ink Ah'll give it a secon' t'ought.
*Fannie stands up off the bench & approaches Lana. The former body-builder standing more than a foot taller than her companion & at least twice as wide.*
Fannie: I wouldn't want to have it any other way.
*Fannie puts an arm around Lana's shoulder as she leads her out the door.*
Fannie: Now, come on we're going for dinner; Chaz is paying.
Lana: Pfuh! Some chance of catchin' a Scotsman payin' fo' dinnah...
*We then fade out.*
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Post by Jason Hereford on Jun 8, 2009 17:24:41 GMT -5
*The camera fades to a black screen with text written on it, the text written as follows:* This proceeding match took place and was taped previous to the release of former W*I*G Superstar Alexa King. We wish her the very best in her future endeavors.*The text then fades back to the W*I*G-Sphere, the audience cheering as loudly as before.* Finkel: The following contest in the Second Round of the Colvin Cup is a tag team match, and is scheduled for ONE fall. Introducing first… * “Date with the Night” by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs plays over the PA system. Alexa King enters the arena,followed by Vin Beverly. Tom: And here comes a team that a lot of people have their eye on as a favorite to win. Jeannie: I too have my eye on Vin Tom: Oh Puh-leaze! Fink: Making their way to the ring, representing the King's Court, at a combined weight of 405 pounds, The TigerPath Blazing Path Champion Viiiiiiinnnnnnnn BEV-ER-LY and Alexaaaaaaa KING! *As they enter the ring, Vin does the stereotypical “gentleman” actions, such as sitting on the rope to let Alexa in. Jeannie: Look at that. What a Gentleman. Now, if he'd just direct that kindness to someone who really deserves it.... Tom: Yeah, I'm sure Vin is just the nicest guy in the world. Let's give him a prize. Jeannie: I'd gladly be the one to give it to him. Tom: Let's try and do our jobs, shall we? Finkel: And introducing their opponents… *Hard-Fi’s “Living for the Weekend” starts up on the Colvitron’s speakers to a chorus of boos as a familiar vagabond steps out onto the stage in his usual regalia, Danny Taylor behind him in a much dirtier-looking version of her attire. Her clothes in general are covered with smudges of dirt, and her jeans are ripped and torn in a myriad of directions and sizes of holes. Jason sets his legs apart, his left arm at rest, and swings his right arm in a clockwise pattern, stopping at the top of his head, a clenched fist raised as he leans his head down slightly. Danny, beside him, points in a dramatic fashion as he executes this pose.* Finkel: From San Diego, California, and Greeley Hill, California—respectively—at a combined weight of 388 pounds…the team of Jason Hereford and Danny Taylor! Jeannie: Yay! One of my favorite men! Boo! One of my least favorite women! Tom: I agree with one of those sentences. Jeannie: It’s no problem, Tom. Release your true feelings! *Hereford drops the pose, walking towards the ring, glancing over his shoulder at an eager but calm-looking Danny Taylor. Neither of them seem to care about the throng of angry fans booing and shouting obscenities upon them; both apparently care far more about their opponents presently in the ring and for the match itself.* Tom: Well I’ll give them this. Jason Hereford and Danny Taylor both seem to be utterly focused on the match at hand, which honestly surprises me given how smarmy these two can be. Jeannie: Smarmy? Is that what you call people smarter and wittier than you? Tom: No; that’s what I call people who think they’re brilliant because of the words they use and what they say. Jeannie: Isn’t that “bombastic?” And I don’t think they’re that at all. *As they reach the ring, Jason slides in under the bottom rope, Danny Taylor following suit thereafter. As they enter, Jason turns himself around to face the stage, executing his pose like much before, whereas Danny, dramatically pointing at him again, leans back into the nearest turnbuckle, her left leg bent back and her foot rested against the bottom turnbuckle. As she ceases her pointing and removes her hat and vest, Jason turns back around, taking off his cracked pink shades and trench coat. Both hand their entrance gear to the ref, their eyes fixed upon their opponents. Both Danny Taylor and Alexa King exit the ring, standing on the apron at their corners. Jason Hereford and Vin Beverly opt to start the match, and walk towards each other as the referee calls for the bell to start the match.* DING DING DING! *Jason and Vin circle around the ring, facing one another and preparing to lock up. They do so, collar-and-elbow style, and immediately, Vin gains the advantage, forcing Hereford right into the ropes. He hits Jason with a few forearms, but at the behest of the referee, is forced to acknowledge the forced ropebreak on the tie up. As Vin backs up a few steps, the referee setting himself between both men, Hereford throws a cheap shot, this also aggravating the official and sending Vin backwards a few steps. Jason launches himself off the ropes, hitting Vin with a running knee to the stomach, and putting the doubling-over Beverly into a side headlock. Hereford wrenches away at his head, throwing him down to the mat with a takeover. Beverly, on the mat, slowly pushes up in an attempt to get himself out of the headlock. Hereford deadweights, elbowing Vin Beverly in the side to try to keep him down, and while Beverly is kept down, he does flip Hereford over in a rollup.* 1! 2! KICKOUT! *Hereford kicks over, rolling back into the headlock takeover. Again he tries elbowing Beverly to keep him down, but Beverly again flips Jason Hereford over in a rollup.* 1! 2! KICKOUT! Tom: Technical action so far from Jason Hereford and Vin Beverly here. Jeannie: I wouldn’t mind getting some technical action from one of them… Tom: Do you let anything get past you? Jeannie: Nope. *Finally, Beverly pushes Hereford right off of him, getting to his feet and turning around. Hereford does the same, quickly jumping to his feet, but Beverly punches him in the side of the head, before grabbing him and lifting Jason up suplex-style. Jason drops behind Beverly and kicks him in the back of his legs, knocking him down to his knees, and applies a neck lock. Hereford wrenches down on Vin’s neck while using his own legs to try to keep the larger man pinned down. Beverly definitely seems uninterested in submitting, at the very least, as he evidences by grabbing Hereford around the torso with his arms, mid-hold, and by sheer force, lifts Hereford right off of his legs and back suplexes the hobo right behind him. Vin gets back up to his feet, and turning around, drops an elbow, before going for the cover on Hereford.* 1! 2! KICKOUT! *Hereford kicks out, and Beverly picks him back up, grabbing him and whipping him into the ropes. As Jason comes running back, Vin runs at him too, throwing a Yakuza kick. Hereford dodges to the side, mid-run, and spins around, throwing a kick of his own at Beverly. Vin grabs him by the leg, looking ready to throw him in the air, but Hereford spins around with a dragon whip and kicks him in the side of the head. Jason gets back onto his feet, if only for a moment, before dropping down and applying a front facelock to the head of Vin Beverly, both of them stomach-down on the mat. Hereford wrenches away, much like he did with the headlock earlier on, and with the free forearm, hits a few blows to the upper back of Vin Beverly. Vin responds with even bigger forearms, each one making Hereford wince from the force of them. Finally, Vin gets back up to his knees, and with a punch to the stomach of Hereford that knocks him right off, gets free of the hold. Hereford runs at him, hoping to catch him with another knee, but Beverly clotheslines Jason, knocking him back down.* Tom: Big clothesline from Vin Beverly. I’m sure Jason will be feeling that tomorrow. Jeannie: I wish I could be feeling that tomorrow… Tom: Good Lord… *Beverly picks Hereford up by the head, throwing him into a corner, and is about to begin pummeling at him when Jason pulls his head right out of the ring. The referee holds Beverly back, and Jason takes a breather for a moment, the crowd booing at him. With a sneer, he leans back in and tries to take another cheap shot at Beverly like earlier, but Vin catches him and throws him right back into the corner, and resumes what he intended to do earlier, hitting Hereford with elbows, forearms and punches, before attempting to whip him into the corner opposite. Hereford reverses, sending Vin in, face-first. As Vin Beverly turns around, Hereford is already face-to-face with him, and boot chokes him, the filthy sole of Jason’s footwear pressing against his throat. The referee begins the five-count, telling Hereford he’s at risk for disqualification.* Jeannie: Smart. Keep the thing held in. Tom: No, there’s no need for that. Not in this match, nor in any match where things like this can get you disqualified. 1! 2! 3! 4! *Hereford drops his leg, and gets ready to follow up on his attack somehow. But instead, he goes and puts the foot back up into Vin Beverly’s throat, and resumes choking away at his opponent. Once again, the referee angrily begins counting.* 1! 2! 3! 4! Tom: Oh enough of this! Jeannie: What do you look like, Santa Claus? Tom: …? Jeannie: Nevermind. *Again, Jason Hereford releases, and turns around, jawing at the referee for a moment, before sitting Vin up on the top turnbuckle. He tries to pick him up to execute a superplex, but Vin manages to halt the lift by pulling down and punching Jason repeatedly in the abdomen, before countering the suplex lift, hoisting Jason up high, and front-suplexing him right off the turnbuckle and down to the mat! Jason ricochets off of the mat, clutching his chest and gasping for air, and Vin climbs down, walking towards him. Suddenly, Jason rolls out of the ring, shaking his head and catching another breather. Both Danny and Alexa, with Hereford out of the ring and Vin getting ready to exit, both move closer to the action, but the referee turns his attention to them, keeping both of them at bay from the legal men. Danny in particular begins to argue with the referee, although what exactly she’s saying isn’t quite audible as the camera pans towards the two legal men. As Beverly exits the ring, Hereford seems to have his hand reaching into his pants, and just as Vin is about to grab Jason, the vagabond turns around and throws something powdery at Beverly’s eyes, blinding him and making him moan in pain as the crowd boos resoundingly. Hereford quickly hits him with a few cheap shots and whips him, head-first, into the ring post. With Beverly in a daze, Hereford rolls him back into the ring. With his peripheral vision, the referee can see the two men back in, and with his jawing and warning at the two women down, he turns back around. Jason goes for the pin and the ref drops down to count.* 1! 2! KICKOUT! *Jason Hereford gets up, with a sneer, and begins arguing with the referee for a few moments. With Vin Beverly still down, Jason picks him by the head and drags him towards his corner, making the tag to Danny Taylor. She enters the ring, and she and Jason both throw Vin into a corner, hammering away at him with a combination of respective mudhole stomps and knee strikes. At the order of the referee, Jason exits the ring. Danny pulls Vin out of the corner and applies a side headlock, punching the top of his head repeatedly. She tightens the hold, Beverly’s face slowly, but steadily, reddening. However, Vin manages to push her off of him with both hands, sending her stumbling a few steps ahead of him. She turns around and Vin picks her up, lifting her above his head, and places her atop his shoulder, dropping to his knees and executing an Argentine backbreaker. As Danny goes rolling off of his shoulder, Vin pulls himself back up to his feet and, still looking a bit dazed, makes the tag to Alexa King as the crowd cheers this recent turn of events.* Tom: A wiser tag could not have been made at this point in the match. Jeannie: I’ll agree, Vin needed that. If you stay in this for too long…then you’ve got nobody to blame but yourself. Unless of course your partner abandons you. Though if they did it’d probably because you did something to piss them off. *Alexa runs into the ring, towards Danny Taylor, who is now back up to her feet. Alexa and Danny come to blows, knife-edge chops and punches being exchanged between them. Danny gets the advantage and whips Alexa into the ropes. Danny throws a lariat but Alexa ducks it, and she comes running back off the ropes as Danny turns around. In one fluid motion, Alexa grabs Danny by an arm, arm dragging her to the mat and locking in a Fujiwara armbar. Danny manages to roll over, but Alexa simply converts it into a different style of armbar. Danny throws a wide punch at Alexa, trying to get her to break the hold, but Alexa slips behind her, still gripping Danny’s arm and spins around, wrapping Danny up and hitting a Straight Jacket suplex! Alexa quickly goes for the cover, and the ref drops down as fast as he can to count.* Tom: Well-done Straight Jacket from Alexa King! Is that going to do it? 1! 2! KICKOUT! *Danny manages to kick out rather strongly, looking a bit more hurt in the pride department than in any major physical way. Alexa picks her up by the head, kneeing her in the abdomen and grabbing her arms in a double underhook, but Danny suddenly drops to the mat, her arms slipping out of Alexa’s grasp. Quickly, Danny jumps back up to her feet and launches a few forearms and punches, before executing a snapmare and bringing Alexa down to the mat. Danny drops to a kneel and digs her left knee into Alexa’s spine, before using both arms to apply a chinlock.* Danny: Ask her! *The referee looks at her in confusion for but a moment, as this is just a chinlock but precedes to ask Alexa if she will give up. She shakes her head in a defiant “no”. In response, Danny wretches the hold and pulls back tighter. This action immediately results in crowd disfavor. Almost immediately Taylor releases the hold to dismayed look out into the crowd but for a minute as Alexa recovers on her back. Her eyes catch her partner, Jason, who has taken to waving away at the crowd behind him. As soon as she spots him, he shakes his head and points behind her. Her gaze follows his to the opposite corner. With the sound of a clap, the whole momentum changes as Vin steps back into the ring. Danny shoots a quick glance over at Jason, making a small “no” shake. Beverly offers a hand for a grapple in the middle of the ring. Begrudgingly Danny steps out to meet him, looking towards the crowd then Jason. The boos reach a fever pitch, directed at her delay, until she grits her teeth and locks up with the stronger man.* Jeannie: I can’t say this is a good idea for Danny Taylor. Tom: In all due respect to her, Vin is one of the most physically powerful men in all of W*I*G. Certainly she’s not thinking a lockup is going to be doing her any favors… *They both put all their power into a test of strength, of which Danny immediately loses. Beverly uses his leverage to push his smaller opponent against the ropes and towards Jason. It would seem that he is less than eager to pummel Danny while Jason still needs his. The crowd begins to cheer as Vin uses Danny's hand to try to tag in Jason, who simply sneers and leans backward. Vin pushes harder at Danny until she makes a small yelp in pain and falls down, holding her ankle. Beverly immediately lets go and reaches down to check on her. As he does so he's leveled with a kick through the ropes right against the temple. Just then, the “ailing” Danny reaches over to tag in her now more than pleased partner.* Tom: I can’t believe that. Is professionalism lost on the team of Jason Hereford and Danny Taylor? Jeannie: What? Danny’s hurt, can’t you tell?! *Jason steps through the ropes with new found vigor as he approaches the downed Vin. From her corner, Alexa loudly complains to the referee and points towards Danny. The Northern Californian looks hurt with the accusation and rubs her ankle silently, putting little weight on it as she stands on the apron. Hereford eyes the TigerPath Blazing Path Champion's legs like a tiger would a horse. He places his boot upon Vin's left leg, pointing at Danny, then stomps on the ankle. Then to the right calf. Eight surgeon quality stomps later, Jason finishes his 10 Stomps of Pain with a stomp to the face. He goes for the cover.* 1! KICK OUT! * Vin pushes Jason off of him in a dramatic fashion and rises quickly.... to fall back to one knee. It would seem the stomps did more than he originally thought. Hereford takes complete advantage of this by kicking the back of Vin's injured leg. The bigger man again falls to one knee in the center of the ring. Jason stands behind him with a smug expression as he takes aim on the leg and runs back to the ropes for added force. The planned Chop Block fails as Jason is leveled with a massive Jumping Knee Attack that sends the greasy man sprawling off to the right. On the other side Vin crumbles down to the mat in pain. It would seem that his counter meant to protect himself has failed. Beverly holds his left leg but for a moment. Alexa hits her turnbuckle repeatedly, starting a clap for Vin, meanwhile Danny's face has fallen white as she sees the limp Hereford sucking air. Regaining his senses at the task at hand, he crawls slowly over to Jason to get the pin.* 1! 2! Foot on the rope! Jeannie: Words do not describe how close that was. Tom: If Vin hits another move like that, Jason can count himself out. Jeannie: But you’ve got to wonder, how much damage he and Danny have done to the knee… *Jason has just enough wherewithal to save his team's chances at the huge prize. Danny immediately starts calling out for the tag, which causes Hereford to stir. Alexa tries the same for her partner but Vin has rolled over on his back, grasping at his leg. He has taken to trying to stretch it out to relieve the pain. But just as he reaches the end of his much needed recovery, Taylor has tagged back in. The denim clad woman approaches the downed man with a purpose. She does a slow wardance and clap before reaching his legs. He struggles, kicking away at her. She doubles over, dropping to a knee herself. He begins to crawl over to a neutral corner, ignoring Alexa's calls for a tag. But doesn't get far. Taylor lifts up his injured leg, pulling at it then stomping the back of the knee. Danny gets a very satisfied smile as she starts a Spinning Toe Hold. In mid spin, she holds and cups her mouth to signal a very familiar move.* Danny: Woooo- *Comically Danny is set face first into the mat by a boot push on her butt by Vin. Jason throws his hands up in frustration as the crowd cheers at her expense. While in a seated position Vin pulls himself away from the center of the ring and towards the ropes. He readies himself for the long battle as Danny slowly sits back up, looking slightly dazed. Just then, a loud slap is heard. Beverly looks shocked as he feels the back of his shoulder. And even more so when he realizes that Alexa has tagged herself in. He goes to protest but the referee shoos him out. Alexa cracks her knuckles as she approaches the rising Danny. She reaches back and performs a high impact Knife Edge Chop to Danny. And another! And another! She beams back at Vin only to turn back into an unforgiving Lariat. Taylor lands on her knees, glaring at her fallen opponent. She hooks the leg.* Tom: This isn’t a good time to be distracted, and for Alexa, she’s certainly feeling why right now. Cover from Danny Taylor! 1! KICKOUT! *King vehemently kicks out. Danny rises then reaches down, grabbing Alexa by the hair, and pulls her right into a Body Slam. Nodding at her handy work, Danny points at the turnbuckle and gets a mild clap from the front row at best. Putting a disheartening response aside, she climbs the turnbuckle and awaits King's eventual rise. But... it doesn't come, in fact she's not moving. Danny gets into a huff and jumps down from the top rope. With a few loud stomps, she approaches Alexa and goes to pick her up. BUT ALEXA WAS PLAYING POSSUM!* Tom: Small package outta nowhere, will that get it?! 1! 2! KICKOUT! *Danny sits up in shock as she takes quick breathes. She looks over at Jason who looks like he almost had a heart attack. King wastes no time by hitting a well aimed Headbutt at Danny's back. Taylor's face takes on a pained expression as she rolls over to her stomach. Alexa signals the match is over, much to the delight of the crowd, and stalks her slow-to-rise opponent. Boot to the stomach! With some difficulty, Alexa locks in the standing Butterfly Lock! She wrenches on the the move tight, as the referee checks on Danny who repeatedly blows off his questions of giving up. Then in one fluid maneuver King throws Danny over her shoulder. Taylor lands with a hard thump, with her head and neck taking the brunt of the Royal Butterfly. The crowd explodes as King jumps to her feet. Then form into a near riot as Jason clobbers her with a Clothesline from the apron.* Tom: Enough is enough with this! Is Jason Hereford going to turn to this crap every chance he gets? Jeannie: You mean doing what he has to do to win? Tom: Believe me, if he has to do that—and this match is certainly far from over—then once Alexa and Vin pull out ahead again in this match, I think his moments in this Cup are numbered. *Vin immediately enters into the ring with a stumbled jog and takes Jason through the ropes and to the floor to a huge pop. The referee looks on in confusion over how the match has fallen apart. Both legal women are down and their partners are having a brawl on the outside. Beverly kicks Jason in the midsection with his left leg then uses his small window of opportunity to Irish Whip Hereford into the stairs. But the kick just moments earlier has aided into losing his base and he stumbles. Jason counters with a power throw that sends Vin knee first into the stairs. Beverly rolls over the stairs and lands back first, his face a mask of pure tortured pain. Back in the ring, the referee begins a count for the girls to get back up. At the count of six, both have reached their feet. Though Danny still has the rubber legs and falls down to one knee. Welling deep within herself to gather her last adrenaline burst, Alexa runs to the ropes! But is tripped by Hereford! She stumbles forward right into Danny's arms! Her head cracks off the mat with a high impact DRT!* Jeannie: DRT! Tom: It’s not the flashiest move to have ever been done, but it’s— Jeannie: No, but it’s reliable. And looking at Alexa, I think it did its job. *Danny sits back up, rubbing her hands back and forth in a job well done. She looks over at her partner, who grins wickedly back at her. She looks down at the fallen King then nods back. Taylor crawls over to Jason to tag him in. Upon entering, he helps her up then saunters over to one side of the ring to push against the ropes. Against the referee's behest, Danny pulls Alexa up by her hair. Taylor's white tank top rises and falls as she places King between her legs into a standing headlock. Then on cue from Jason, she filps forward as he charges across the ring. BAM! Alexa's body is folded like an accordion as she lands from the Taylor Bomb right into a siding Neckbreaker by Hereford. Venomous reactions are heard as Danny rolls out from under Alexa's legs and Jason covers the clearly knocked out King. Powerless, the referee begins the count. And on the outside, Vin struggles to get himself up the apron only to see Danny stand on it.... holding the ropes open for him. Her smile more mocking then friendly.* 1! 2! 3! DING DING DING! Finkel: And your winners of this match.... Jason Hereford and Danny Taylor! *“Living for the Weekend” plays back over the Colvitron’s speakers as the crowd reacts with nothing but boos. Jason gets up to his feet, spinning around and raising both of his arms with a grin on his face. Vin slides into the ring, causing both Jason Hereford and Danny Taylor to part away from him, winding up both outside the ring, but both of them with triumphant expressions. As Vin crouches down to check on Alexa’s health, Jason walks up the entranceway, facing the crowd, as Danny follows, looking in much the same direction as him.* Jeannie: Well now, I think we now know who’s in the Semi Finals. Tom: Unfortunately, yes. It’s really a shame that these two have made it this far, but I think in the next round, their shenanigans are going to be catching up with them… *Vin helps Alexa up to her feet on the inside of the ring as Jason and Danny both have made it up to the stage, both of them still basking in their victory despite the crowd’s opposition. A window fades in over them, showing the tournament brackets for the Colvin Cup, now in the semi-finals, before fading out.*
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Post by Jason Hereford on Jun 9, 2009 17:20:16 GMT -5
Finkel: The following contest is an inter-gender tag team match scheduled for one fall, and is a part of the Semi-Final round of the Colvin Cup! Introducing first... *The opening notes of Hard-Fi’s “Living for the Weekend” start to crescendo onto the speakers of the Colvitron. Both Jason Hereford and Danny Taylor step out onto the stage—adorned in the same gear that they wore in the previous match—as the audience greets them with a cavalcade of boos.* Finkel: From San Diego, California, and Greeley Hill, California—respectively—at a combined weight of 388 pounds…the team of Jason Hereford and Danny Taylor! *Jason sets his feet apart, winding his arm as he executes his signature pose, the same arm pointing straight up in the air as Danny points with both arms towards him. Jason drops the pose after a few seconds and whips his head in her direction, nodding, before the two begin walking down the entranceway.* Jeannie: Congrats to these two! Tom: What do you mean? After the way they acted in their previous matches? It’s a wonder they haven’t been eliminated already. But seeing as whom their opponents are this time around, I can’t say I’d be surprised if that were the case. *Neither Jason nor Danny are interested in the reaction towards them that the crowd has given. Both of them make their way to the ring, Jason sliding in under the bottom rope as Danny walks up the steps and enters the ring that way. Jason scales the nearby turnbuckle, swinging his right arm up clockwise and turning his left shoulder to the side, while Danny walks to the corner opposite that faces the ring, leaning back with her right leg bent back on contact with the bottom turnbuckle as she removes her vest and hat. Jason drops his arm and jumps off the turnbuckle, spinning around as he lands on his feet and removes his coat and shades. As the music fades out, the crowd’s boos slowly do as well, being replaced by a neutral reaction as they anticipate what is to happen next.* Finkel: And their opponents... *A, by now, familiar re-mix of Nelly Furtado's "Maneater" begins to play in the W*I*G-Sphere & the collective audience lets out a cheer as Fannie Package sashays out onto the stage.* Finkel: And introducing their opponents, first, from San Francisco, California, standing 6'3" tall, weighing in at 289lbs, she is the Undisputed Wrestling's Innovative Genesis Women's Champion... FANNIE PACK~AGE!!! Jeannie: Sooo... if Fannie's currently the Undisputed W*I*G Women's Champion, howcumzit she's entered in this tournament to get a shot at that title? Tom: It's been decreed by Jett Ripley & General Fernadez that if Fannie wins then she can use the title shot at any time of her discretion should she lose the title. Jeannie: Whatta bonehead ruling! *Fannie proudly holds out the two belts comprising her Championship, the W*I*G Women's Title in her left hand & the GND Title in her right, before letting both belts slide down her arms as she gives a double biceps pose while a flash of pyro explodes behind her silhouetting her massive physique. She walks on down the ramp, high-fiving with a few fans as she goes. She stands at the foot of the entrance ramp for a moment as she awaits the arrival of her Tag-Team partner.* *Bagpipes fill the air in the arena while the lights dim, turning to light blue and white spotlights that search the arena. They all focus on the ramp. The bagpipes fade out, yielding to Alice Cooper's "School's Out", which blares as Chaz parts the curtain with force. The Saltre is on his shoulder tonight, the banner which he waves lightly on the stage, then lifting his fist. He jabbers with the male fans, interacts playfully with the children in the audience, and flirts with the female fans as he walks the aisle. Chaz deposits the flagpole on the outside of the ring, leaning against the nearest post. He then slides into ring. He stands up and throws up a double Maloik for the fans, then discusses strategy with his partner as he stretches in the corner.* Tom:Odd not seeing Lana out there with him this time around... Jeannie: I think she has a match later on tonight. DING DING DING! *Jason Hereford and Chaz Stone look back at one another, a few feet apart, their eyes fixated on the eyes of the other. Both raise their arms up, each motioning for a lockup. Suddenly, both thrust their arms at the other; the two lock up and begin pushing back as Chaz almost immediately gains the decisive advantage over Jason, who finds himself just short of being thrown across the ring as he is quickly forced back. Jason releases his arms from those of Chaz and spins behind him, applying a rear waist lock. Chaz throws an elbow behind himself, Jason ducking under as he drops down to his knees, grabbing both legs and bringing Chaz to the mat face-first with a double leg takedown. Jason transitions over top of him, applying a front face lock, but Chaz pulls himself up to his feet. In an instant does Jason release the hold and back himself up, scrambling to keep a distance from his larger opponent. Chaz gets up fully and lunges at Jason, who sidesteps him and backs up towards the middle of the ring as Stone turns to face him again. Again, both go to lock up with one another, Hereford quickly grabbing an arm and dodging back as he elbows it. Just as Chaz is about to retaliate, Jason lets go of his arm and backpedals away. Chaz Stone lunges towards Jason Hereford like before, this time able to successfully whip him into the ropes. Just as Jason goes into the ropes, he stops himself dead by hooking his arms under and around the top rope. Jason smirks, letting off a sigh of relief, but this is quickly interrupted by Chaz making a beeline straight at him, winding his left arm back. With not a second to spare, Jason releases himself from the ropes and dives for the nearby, neutral corner. He turns around, only to see Chaz Stone once again confronting him. Hereford isn't even able to escape this time as Chaz corners him, hitting him with a barrage of punches and open-handed blows.* Tom: Probably not the best turn of events for Jason Hereford, though it was only a matter of time before he'd find himself cornered. You can't win a match by running. Jeannie: That's what she said! Tom: Let's not start that... *Jason, attempting to protect himself, pulls his head and torso out of the ring, leaning under the top rope. At the behest of the referee, Chaz is made to back off, allowing a slightly disoriented Hereford to collect himself and creep out of his confining location. The referee moves out of the way between the two after this, permitting Chaz to reach out and grab Jason, lifting him up high in a scoop slam position; Hereford kicks furiously trying to get away, catching Chaz in the jaw and side of the head and allowing himself to escape by being dropped onto his back rather than slammed. Jason clambers back up, kneeing Chaz Stone in the abdomen repeatedly, causing the larger man to double over somewhat. Jason turns himself around, grabbing Chaz by the head and giving him a snapmare into a seated position. Hereford backs up a few steps, running at Chaz and hitting him with a sliding knee in the back of the head. Jason chooses not to even go for a pin, instead grabbing Chaz by the head and dragging him over to his corner, making the tag to Danny Taylor. As she enters the ring, both of them pick up Chaz and execute a double suplex, bringing him down to the mat. Jason leaves the ring, standing on the apron as Danny quickly drops down and hooks the leg, going for a pin.* Tom: Quick double-team move on the part of Jason Hereford and Danny Taylor. Jeannie: *snicker* Tom: Oh come on, do you take EVERYTHING out of context? 1! 2! KICKOUT! *And with authority, at that; Chaz is able to press Danny right off of him, as she lands several feet away and he hauls himself up to his feet. Before he can even get completely up, Danny runs at him and bulldogs him back into the mat, quickly getting up and forearming him repeatedly over the top of the neck and head. She hastens the attack, picking Chaz halfway from the mat and elbowing him in the face, each strike looking more violent than the previous. Stone, in a daze from the constant blows, finds himself in a chin lock, Danny Taylor twisting away at his head and neck as she stands over him. He begins to work to power out of it, rising onto his hands and knees as she looks down at him with a slight but noticeable sense of alarm. She responds with a number of short, clenched-fist punches to the side of his head, while she simultaneously attempts to press her weight down upon him. Although it's visibly inflicting at least a slight amount of damage upon him, Chaz shrugs it off and gets up to his feet, flipping Danny right off of him and onto the mat. As she is adjacent to her corner, Danny receives a blind tag from Jason who slips into the ring, forearming and kneeing Chaz Stone before he can follow up on his escape from the chin lock. As Danny gets back up, both of them begin to punch and kick at Chaz, the combination of strikes from the team bringing him down to his knees until Taylor is made to exit the ring by the referee. Jason, facing Chaz, wraps his arms around the arms of Stone, locks his fingers and pushes back on Stone's face, forcing his head and neck to bend backwards.* Tom: Contortion Hold from Jason Hereford and- Jeannie: I wish he could give me some "contortion." Tom: Yeesh! Anyway, Contortion Hold it is, and you've got to wonder if this offense from Danny Taylor and Jason Hereford is wearing Chaz Stone down. *Jason continues to wrench in the hold, but notices that Chaz is slowly starting to power out of this one as well. Jason releases the Contortion Hold and yanks Chaz up to his feet by the head, dropping down to execute a jawbreaker-or at least, it would be, if not for Chaz blocking it outright and sending Jason straight down on his back. Chaz picks him up by the head and shoulders, then quickly transitions to a stalling suplex. After a good fashion of time--and after checking his invisible watch, to the delight of the fans--Chaz powers Hereford to the ground. Chaz grabs the smaller man by the legs and begins spinning him around. A spin or two later, and Jason has achieved liftoff, Chaz still whirling him around with the Big Swing. Chaz relases after a full 30 seconds of this, sending Jason sprawling into his corner. Stone wastes no time, hooking him around the leg and going for the pin.* 1! 2! KICKOUT! Tom: Good display of power from the big man. Jeannie: That's going to have to be the way Chaz and Fannie do it. No doubt that they have a strength advantage here in this match... *Stone gets up to his feet, a pleasant expression on his face as he regains what little remains lost of his composure, turning around to pick Hereford up by the head. Jason, once up, forearms him repeatedly in the head and grabs him by the arm, going for an Irish whip back into his corner. Unfortunately for Hereford, the whip is reversed, as Jason goes crashing right into the corner belonging to Chaz Stone and Fannie Package. He goes bouncing out of the corner from the impact, and is smashed into the corner by Chaz, who charged in with a big splash. Hereford drops to the ground as Stone makes the tag to Fannie Package, the large...woman...stepping over the top rope and advancing towards Jason, who stumbles up to his feet, turning around, only to see her before him-and even then, only for a moment, as Fannie quickly picks him up and scoop slams him with authority!* Tom: Now Fannie Package is in, and she's already making a splash in this match! Jeannie: No, that's a scoop slam. Though if she did a splash, I think that'd be impressive. *Jason Hereford rolls himself away, spinning around and getting up to his feet with a slight daze, only to be whipped into the ropes by Fannie. Fannie throws a clothesline, which Hereford ducks, the vagrant running into the ropes opposite and bouncing off. As Fannie turns around, Jason slides downward, his legs out in front of him, hitting her in both her legs and sending her stumbling back. Jason picks himself halfway off of the mat and darts behind Fannie, throwing forearm blows to the pits of her knees, alternating knees with each hit. Jason grabs one leg, Fannie swiping at him to rebuff his offense, and takes her down with a leg whip, the muscular woman plummeting to the mat. With said leg, Hereford applies a leg bar, dragging both of them in the direction of his corner.* Tom: I think it's obvious now, as for what Jason Hereford's going for here. Jeannie: Me? All men go for- Tom: An attack on the legs to Fannie Package. *Fannie fights to crawl towards the opposite direction, but with one of her massive legs under Hereford's control, is unable to do so successfully. Mere feet from his corner at this point, Jason is able to reach up and make the tag to Danny Taylor. Jason releases the leg bar as Danny enters and the two of them force Fannie into the corner, each of them kicking at the inside of her legs, until Jason is directed out of the ring by the referee. Danny Taylor pulls a slightly dazed Fannie Package out of the corner by an arm, before slipping behind her and executing a low dropkick to the back of the legs to bring Fannie back down. Taylor stomps away at the lower legs of the Undisputed W*I*G Women's Champion, and with her eyes darting between each individual leg, decides to go after the left leg in particular, grabbing it and kicking it several times. Danny steps over it, turning around and locking in a Spinning Toe Hold, Fannie groaning in pain.* Jeannie: There's an old move you don't see much these days. Tom: Right you are, Jeannie, but that doesn't make it any less dangerous. And by the way Jason Hereford and Danny Taylor are working on Fannie Package's legs, this might hurt the W*I*G Undisputed Women's champ even more! *Danny nods to the referee in Fannie's direction, as he goes to check with her if the submission hold is too much to bear and if she's willing to submit. Fannie flatly refuses, and at that, uses her other leg to kick Danny Taylor right off of her and break the hold outright. Using the ropes, Fannie pulls herself up, her legs feeling rather weak from the spate of attacks, as Danny gets back up and rushes at her. Danny clubs her from behind with a number of forearms and elbows, but Fannie responds with an elbow of her own that sends Danny back a few steps, allowing Fannie to get completely back up. Danny runs back toward her again, but as she does so, Fannie turns around and slaps her with a Coin Purse that sends Danny spinning down to the mat. As Danny staggers back up to her feet, Fannie picks her up above her head, gorilla-press style and heaves her high up in the air with no trouble at all, her arms completely vertical, before walking forward a few steps and gorilla press slamming Danny Taylor straight down to the mat, before walking over and making the tag to Chaz Stone who enters the ring, running in the direction of his opponents' corner. As he becomes but a few feet from Danny, she manages to make the tag to Jason Hereford, who enters the ring, only to be taken down with a clothesline! Jason runs back up to his feet, ducking to avoid another such clothesline, but Chaz leans down, picking him up and driving him to the mat with a Samoan Drop! Chaz drops down and hooks the leg to go for the pin.* Tom: Beautifully executed Samoan Drop from Chaz Stone! Will that do it? 1! 2! KICKOUT! *Chaz Stone gets up, grabbing Jason Hereford by the legs and turning himself over, trying to apply a Boston Crab. Hereford resists, and squirming like a fish out of water, turns himself over repeatedly, making it next to impossible for Stone to get the Crab locked in. Hereford rolls under his legs, facing up, with Chaz still holding onto his own legs. Chaz pulls him up, into the air, Hereford suspended by his legs, and leans over to grab his arms, holding him in a cradle powerbomb position as he hoists Jason up at the level of his head. He goes to throw Jason down, but his powerbomb is interrupted by a bite to his very face, Danny Taylor glancing over her shoulder at the crowd at the exact moment while this transpires, shrugging in confusion as she conveniently misses this counter. Jason follows up with a pair of headbutts, as Chaz instinctively grabs at his face, releasing Jason Hereford and allowing him to land much more softly than otherwise. Jason, smirking now, runs into the ropes opposite and bounces back, one of his knees leaning forward in front of the other. Just as Chaz Stone regains his composure, a running, jumping knee from Hereford sends him staggering back into the ropes, but he holds onto his footing. Again, Jason runs into the ropes and rebounds, and comes running, jumping for another knee lift. But this time, Stone is able to duck it and throw Jason straight over the ropes and out onto the floor. As Jason pulls himself up, Chaz backs up, running towards the ropes, a glare in his eye indicating a possible jump over the ropes. Jason Hereford dives to the side, covering himself up, but as he gets up, he notices Chaz Stone isn't outside the ring. He turns around, only to see a grinning Chaz Stone slide out of the ring and take him down with a clothesline, dropping him straight to the floor!* Tom: Jason called the Flying Scotsman...and it certainly didn't pay off. Jeannie: How exactly might I get this Flying Scotsman's number? Tom: ... *Chaz grabs Jason by an arm, picking him up, and whips him straight into the steel ring steps, Jason wedged between the adjacent ring post and the steps as he winces in pain. By this point, the referee has begun his ring-out count as Chaz begins to back up somewhat.* 1! *Chaz Stone backs up a bit more, and charges straight at the cornered Jason Hereford.* 2! *At the last second, Jason drops down by sliding forward, taking out Chaz's legs from him as the Scotsman crashes forward into the ring steps, head-forward.* 3! *Jason gets up, and seizing the opportunity with a hungry look on his face, grabs Stone's head, picking him up and slamming into the ring steps again and again, Chaz Stone's face turning a visible hue of red from the repeated impact.* 4! *Jason pulls him off of the steps, grabbing him around the head and around the shoulder, in a setup for a suplex. Jason pulls him up, but Chaz blocks, hooking a leg. Again, Jason tries to lift him, but once again, Stone blocks the lift.* 5! *This time, Chaz easily picks up Jason Hereford, and suplexes him right onto the floor padding beside the ring! The crowd cheers as Chaz gets back up and rolls into the ring, nursing his forehead as Hereford lays outside.* Jeannie: Ow, no suplex outside of the ring feels very good. Even if it IS coming from a man like Chaz Stone. Tom: Even? With his strength, it probably hurts even more! 6! 7! 8! *Jason gets onto his hands and knees and grabs onto the bottom rope, shaking his head to shrug off the damage from the suplex.* 9! *Jason rolls into the ring, finally, but unfortunately for him, he has simply walked into another gauntlet. As he gets up to his feet, Chaz Stone charges at him, hitting him with a huge European uppercut that alone nearly sends Jason back over the top rope! Jason stumbles forward as Chaz Stone strong whips him into a neutral corner. Chaz runs at Jason, who gets a boot up, catching Chaz right in the face and sending him staggering back, as he turns around. Jason vaults out of the corner, running at Chaz from behind, locking their arms full nelson-style as he throws a Traction Backbreaker. Stone manages to counter, leaning down and swinging Jason right over his back, Hereford sailing far over as their arms separate. Jason lands on the mat and scrambles back up, as Chaz runs straight at him, throwing a Yakuza kick. Jason dodges to the side, Chaz missing entirely as Hereford runs at him again, grabbing the other leg as Chaz steps toward him. Hereford cackles, holding the leg firmly in his grasp, shrugging his shoulders with a confident air with Chaz Stone immobilized. But Hereford's confidence is quickly brought to a halt when Chaz Stone jumps up with the other leg, taking him down with an enzuiguri! The crowd responds with a unified chant of the old "ALBA GU BRATH" as Chaz covers him with a lateral press, and the referee drops down to count the pin.* 1! 2! SHOULDER UP! Tom: Wow, do you think that caught Hereford off-guard? Jeannie: I know Chaz can fly, but that always impresses me when he can use his speed like that. Makes me wonder... Tom: Oh no, let's not get started again! Jeannie: What? I was just going to ask if he can do a shooting star press! Tom: Yeah. Jeannie: Honest! *Chaz Stone picks up Jason Hereford by the head, only to receive a face-full of forearm courtesy of Hereford. Chaz throws a heavy punch at Hereford, but Jason is able to dodge it and slip behind Stone, locking in a full nelson before picking up Stone and executing a full nelson backbreaker. Hereford keeps the full nelson locked in and pulls Chaz up, before now delivering a full nelson facebuster, taking Chaz straight down to the mat. Jason picks him up by the head and seats him down, as he locks in a reverse chin lock, digging a knee into the spine of Stone. Chaz begins to power out, but Jason responds by repeating with the knee, striking him in the upper back and in the neck, keeping him down on the mat. Jason releases his grip on the chin lock briefly, dragging Chaz over to his corner and tagging in Danny Taylor. Taylor enters the ring as Jason Hereford puts Chaz in a kneeling position, getting behind him, back to back, and also kneeling as he applies a reverse neck lock. Danny then runs into the ropes, and as she rebounds off, she runs in the direction of Stone, Hereford releasing the neck lock and darting out of the way at the last second as Taylor clotheslines the still-kneeling Chaz Stone, knocking him to the mat on his back. Danny drops down and hooks the leg.* 1! 2! KICKOUT! *Chaz is able to escape, slightly to the surprise of Danny who then walks back to the ropes, rebounding off them again & nailing another Lariat with even more force than before to Chaz just as he's about to get up, knocking the giant Scot for a loop. Taylor shakes her arm to get the feeling back to her in it. Danny lies in wait for Chaz to get to his feet a third time & strikes him with a third Lariat that looks to have greater force behind it than the first two put together! The impact is so great that Danny falls to the mat herself as she takes Chaz down, her bicep colliding with his jaw. Danny rolls into another cover, hooking Chaz's leg with her left arm, her right arm being in pain from the impact of her attacks on Chaz...* 1... 2... KICKOUT! *Danny is still shocked by Chaz's resiliency. Grabbing him by his hair, she brings the "Tower of Power" to his feet & tries to whip him off to the ropes, but Chaz reverses the manoeuvre & sends Danny off to the ropes instead. Chaz bends over mid-ring aiming to catch Danny with a Back-Body Drop, but she sees him in position & stops a few inches in front of him. She smashes him in the face with a knee & then, nearly jumping up to do so, continues to blast him with forearm smashes & elbow shots to the head & face. Danny has Chaz reeling & she hits the ropes again, perhaps aiming for yet ANOTHER Lariat, but Chaz catches her with a Power Slam instead. Chaz gets up, nursing his jaw somewhat, following Taylor's earlier assault on it. He begins making his way towards his corner where Fannie Package eagerly awaits a tag. Only to be caught from behind by Danny Taylor with a Rabbit Clothesline.* Tom: This girl just won't give up. Jeannie: Seems as if she's eager to prove herself among the male ranks of W*I*G as well as the Women's Division. If she can manage to take down the strongest man in W*I*G, doesn't that make her better than Synthy? Tom: Danny Taylor is as talented as any person in W*I*G, no doubt, but, no disrespect to Chaz Stone, even if Danny does manage to take him down she's got a LONG way to go before she can even consider herself to be remotely on the same plane as our current World Heavyweight Champion in many other respects like class & dignity. Jeannie: Ladies & Gentlemen, the World's Longest Run-On Sentence! *Chaz, a little exasperated, turns to face Danny who rebounds off the ropes again, this time with a Cross-Body. The move manages to catch Chaz by surprise & Danny takes him down to the mat. The referee slides down next to them to make the count...* 1... 2... ROLL OUT?! *Chaz, maintaining the hold on Danny manages to roll backwards out of the pinfall. He carries Danny around for a bit as she squirms & kicks her legs trying to escape his grip. Chaz hits Danny with three consecutive Backbreakers followed by a Fall Away Slam over the top rope & out of the ring.* Tom: Chaz Stone with the Emerauld Reekie to Danny Taylor, finally managing to quell her a little bit. Jeannie: Yeah, but notice he had to actually throw the chick out of the ring to get her off his case! *Chaz finally makes the tag to Fannie that he'd been waiting to do for so long. The referee begins to count out Danny Taylor who is slowly starting to regain her composure before she makes it back into the ring. Danny takes her time, making the absolute most of the ref's 10-count, letting him get up to 9 before she starts to get back in. Danny is a little apprehensive when she sees the monstrous-looking Fannie Package standing before her. Fannie presses her hands together, flexing her arms & chest, making her enormous physique bulge even more; could she be even bigger than Chaz? This gives Danny Taylor a moment's pause as she surveys the massive, sculpted form that faces her. Danny offers an arm up.* Tom: A test of strength with Fannie Package? Is she insane? *Fannie, a little confused, reaches out to grab Danny's hand. Danny, feigns like she's extending her other arm out, but instead yanks an unsuspecting Fannie in towards her, kicking her in her washboard stomach. Danny then grabs the doubled over Fannie in a Front Chancery, aiming to drop her with a DRT, but Fannie uses her strength to power out of the move & instead takes Taylor over with a modified Release Northern Lights Suplex. Fannie moves around to Danny's feet & tries to grab her by the ankles for a Giant Swing, but Danny kicks & kicks at Fannie, forcing her to back off. Danny gets back to her feet & smashes Fannie in the jaw with a hard right-handed punch. While Fannie reels from this a little bit, Danny grabs one of Fannie's arms & tries to whip her to a corner. This venture proves unsuccessful & the huge muscle-woman stays put before dragging Danny in a for a Short-Arm Clothesline.* Randy Savage: Short Clothesline! The exact opposite of a Long Clothesline! Oooooh, Yyyeeeaaahhh! Tom: Who gave that idiot a headset? *Danny gets clobbered right in the jaw by Fannie's considerably huge arm. Fannie keeps a hold of Danny's arm & brings her to her feet for another clothesline. Danny ducks the move & slips behind Fannie, kicking her in the back of the left knee. Fannie falls forward, down to one knee.* Jeannie: Why do you think everyone goes for Fannie Package's knees? Tom: Well, for a start, it's arguably the most vulnerable part of her body. Secondly, it helps knock her down a little bit. With her legs weakened it means she's less likely to be able to successfully execute her big power-moves. Jeannie: You think she'd start wearing knee-pads or something, though, right? *Danny clubs Fannie on the back of the neck & smashes her right on the head with a Bionic Elbow. Fannie is a little dazed when Danny clocks her with a European Uppercut, ensuring that her bicep connects with Fannie's jaw. With Fannie now sufficiently groggy, Danny attempts to lift her up for a Body Slam. Danny shakes her arms a little to prepare, acting like she's a Power-Lifter. Danny clamps her arms around Fannie; one going over her shoulder, the other around Fannie's thigh. Danny manages to lift Fannie only a few inches off the ground. She attempts to heft her up, again unsuccessfully. She finally manages to get her up, but Fannie's awkward form is too cumbersome for Danny to handle effectively & she falls over backwards, crushed under Fannie's immense body-weight. The referee moves in to count...* 1... 2... KICKOUT! Jeannie: Has anyone ever actually pinned themselves before? Tom: Maybe Danny will be more careful next time she tries to slam a 290lbs woman. Jeannie: But then she probably be telling the tale for generations, brother. About how she lifted the 500lbs Fannie Package right over her head... Tom: When you out it that way, I'm even more relieved that Danny didn't lift her. *Danny barely manages to escape the accidental pinfall, but she's still somewhat dazed & winded. She takes a moment to try to regain her breath, only to be clasped in the powerful arms of Fannie Package. Fannie's huge arms crush & squeeze Danny in a Bearhug. After being squished under Fannie's body mere seconds ago, this isn't doing wonders for Danny's lungs. Fannie clamps tighter & tighter around Danny, but Taylor won't give up. Fannie shakes Danny around a little, to squeeze whatever's left out of her. Danny reaches up with both arms & claps them around either side of Fannie's head, repeatedly, followed by a headbutt which, ultimately, causes Fannie to release the hold. Fannie staggers off backwards, holding at her forehead. As she does so, Danny grabs Fannie by the hair & smashes a knee in her face. Danny tries to trap Fannie in a Dragon Sleeper, & successfully gets the hold locked in, wrenching back on Fannie's enormous neck. This doesn't last too long though as Fannie manages to reach back & catch a hold of Danny. Fannie picks up danny from behind her & slides her down over her shoulder. Fannie then crushes danny with a British Bulldog style Running Power Slam! Fannie makes the cover on Danny... but there's no count. Fannie looks around to see what's happening & sees the referee engaged in a heated debate with Coach Pat O'Hare.* Tom: Hey, just what the hell is going on? Why on Earth is Coach O'Hare out here? *As if in answer to Tom's question, Maeve O'Hare & Sean McCann come running out of the crowd, both brandishing Hurleys much like the Coach's favourite. Sean hits Chaz in the back of the knee from the ring apron & "The Tower of Power" falls from the apron down onto the floor where Sean administers a further beating with the wooden sporting implement.* Jeannie: It's Team Ireland. Not only Colvin Cup rivals of both these teams, but they'll be Chaz's opponents at MAYhem! *As Fannie moves to get the referee's attention, Maeve cracks her muscular counterpart in the head. Fannie clasps the back of her noggin & Maeve hits her again before discarding the Hurley & wrapping Fannie up for a Cooley Cattle Drive! Jason Hereford slips into the ring & nails Fannie with a Super Kick just as Maeve takes her over & dumps her on her head! Maeve slinks out of the ring as Jason revives Danny Taylor. Danny crawls on to the prone form of Fannie Package as Jason goes back to his position at the corner. Chaz is barely able to get to his feet at ringside. He sees Danny covering & Fannie & struggles to get into the ring...* 1... *Chaz pulls himself into the ring.* 2... *Chaz stands up...* 3!!! *Chaz crashes into the pinfall a second too late.* DING-DING-DING! Finkel: Here are your winners & advancing to the final... JASON HEREFORD & DANNY TAYLOR! *"God's Gonna Cut You Down" plays over the speakers again & Chaz pounds the mat in frustration as Maeve, Sean & the Coach exit, gleefully cackling, up the ramp. Hereford & Taylor have their arms raised in victory, but Chaz seems more incensed by the fact that Team Ireland have cost him another match than his elimination from the tournament.* Tom: Chaz Stone is clearly angry over the way in which he & Fannie Package have been eliminated from this tournament. After putting on such strong showings, no pun intended, it seemed like they were headed for a certain victory. Now they've been eliminated by the chicanery of Team Ireland. Jeannie: With the most physically imposing, & hot favourite, team in the tournament gone this has really been blown wide open again.
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