W*I*G Date with Destiny

[James E. Colvin]

*We are taken to the W*I*Gsphere, where the stage erupts in a large pyrotechnic display. The crowd is going crazy as the cameras pan over them. The camera switches to the announce table where we are greeted by Tom Bailey and Jeannie Lawless.

Tom: Hello W*I*G Fans, and welcome to our 2nd PPV event, W*I*G Date with Destiny.

Jeannie: And what an appropriate name it is.

Tom: Indeed. Eight men tonight have a chance to earn the right to fight for the W*I*G Championship.

Jeannie: And we also have plenty of other matches as well.

Tom: Indeed we do. Lets get ready!

[James E. Colvin]

Howard Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.

*Tristan Hades’s music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOgUSNhavSQ

Finkel: Introducing first, coming down the aisle, at 6 feet 8 inches, weighing at 275 pounds, from Indianapolis, Indiana—TRISTAN HADES.

*Tristan comes out to the boos of the crowd. He is wearing black jeans and silver wrestling boots. He walks down to the ring and enters it.*

Tom Bailey: It’s now time for the handicapped match between Tristan Hades and the Latin Lovers and this will be tornado rules with both Latin Lovers in the ring with Tristan.

Jeannie Lawless: How do you know this?

Tom: It says right here on this note I received from a backstage official.

Jeannie: Oh, I didn’t see that.

*The Latin Lovers’ music plays.* youtube.com/watch?v=A8dKHosYjlU

Finkel: And, his opponents, coming down the aisle, at a combined weight of 502 pounds, from Wherever There Is Love—THE LATIN LOVERS.

*The Lovers come out to the cheers of the ladies and the indifference of the men. Guillermo Miramontes has on purple trunks, and Casimiro Melendez has on purple tights. They each have words in pink on the back: “Te quiero” for Guillermo and “Catalina” for Casimiro. They both have on purple elbow and knee pads with pink hearts on them and pink boots with their initials in purple on them. As they walk to the ring, a pair of panties comes flying at them, and Casimiro catches them and puts them in his tights. They enter the ring, and each one climbs on the corners facing the W*I*Gscreen. Then, they blow a kiss to the crowd and pyro in heart design goes off. The Lovers then jump off the corner.*

Tom: So, were those your panties?

Jeannie: No, I am not wearing panties today but rather the boxer shorts of the guy I had sex with last night.

Tom: Okay, let’s move on. Even though Tristan Hades is taking on two men, he does look big enough, strong enough, and mean enough to handle both Latin Lovers.

Jeannie: You know who else could handle a double teaming from the Latin Lovers? Mío.

Tom: Are you going to turn everything I say into something sexual?

Jeannie: As long as the Latin Lovers are out here, I will.

*The bell rings. Tristan quickly charges at Guillermo, hitting him with a barrage of punches and backing him into a corner. Casimiro quickly jumps onto Tristan’s back, trying to lock him into a sleeper hold. However, Tristan turns around and squashes him against Guillermo. Then, Tristan walks to the center of the ring, turns around, charges back to the Lovers, and hits them with an avalanche. He then whips Casimiro across the ring into the opposite corner and then whips Guillermo across into the corner against Casimiro. Tristan then charges across the ring and hits the Lovers with another avalanche. Guillermo falls face first onto the mat after Tristan moves out of the way. Tristan turns Guillermo around, mounts him, and starts punching him in the head.*

Tom: So far, Tristan is holding his own and looking against the Latin Lovers. But, you have to wonder when the numbers game is going to catch up with him.

Jeannie: Probably soon. It seems that Tristan is focusing his attack just on Guillermo, and that could cost him since I’ve heard that Casimiro is the more aggressive of the two Lovers.

Tom: So, he’s pretty aggressive in the ring?

Jeannie: Um…yeah sure.

*Tristan starts choking Guillermo, and the ref tries to pull him off. Suddenly, Casimiro charges from the corner and dropkicks Tristan. They both get up, and Casimiro hits Tristan with an enzuigiri. Then, he picks up Tristan and hits him with an implant DDT. Guillermo gets up. He moves over to Casimiro, and they both pick up Tristan and go for a double suplex. However, Tristan is able to dead weight himself and suplexes them both.*

Tom: Tristan counters a double suplex into a suplex of his own on both Latin Lovers.

Jeannie: Yeah, but he nearly got suplexed because he wasn’t paying attention to Casimiro Melendez. You can’t take your eyes off of Casimiro, and I’m not just saying that because he’s sexy and nice to look at.

*Tristan gets up. He picks up Casimiro by his neck and throws him over the top rope to the outside. Then, he picks up Guillermo and chops him in the chest a few times as he places him against the ropes. Then, Tristan whips Guillermo across the ring. As he bounces off the ropes and comes running back, Tristan charges toward Guillermo. However, Guillermo hits Tristan with a running single knee face breaker. Tristan bounces up and falls back against the ropes. Guillermo kips up and runs towards Tristan. However, Tristan ducks and back body drops Guillermo over the top rope. He lands on the apron. Tristan turns around and grabs Guillermo by his hair. However, Guillermo grabs Tristan by his neck and drops him throat first onto the top rope. Tristan bounces up and staggers back. Casimiro reenters the ring, grabs Tristan from behind, and hits him with a falling reverse DDT.*

Tom: Casimiro with a falling reverse DDT after the assist from Guillermo.

Jeannie: Getting double teamed by the Latin Lovers isn’t going to be much fun for Tristan, even if it sounds like a lot of fun for me and these other ladies.

*The Latin Lovers pick up Tristan and finally hit him with a double suplex. Then, they pick up Tristan. Guillermo moves behind Tristan, and the Lovers hit him with an STO/German suplex combo. They stay on him for a pin.*

Ref: 1…2…*Tristan kicks out.*

Tom: Valentine’s Day to Tristan Hades, but it doesn’t get the three count.

Jeannie: I doubt that felt as good as getting a valentine on Valentine’s Day.

Tom: That was horrible.

Jeannie: You know, most of the time, I don’t have much to work with.

Tom: Then, why do you say something if you know it isn’t going to be any good.

Jeannie: Well, because…um…shut up!

*The Lovers pick up Tristan again. This time, they stand him up in the center of the ring and hit him with a Total Elimination. Casimiro goes for a pin.*

Ref: 1…2…*Tristan kicks out.*

Tom: Ode To Aphrodite isn’t enough to get a three count for the Latin Lovers.

Jeannie: Aphrodite, eh? *long pause* I got nothing.

*Casimiro picks up Tristan and holds him from behind. Then, Guillermo hits Tristan with a superkick into a German suplex from Casimiro. He bridges the suplex into a pin.*

Ref: 1…2…*Tristan kicks out.*

Tom: Hugs And Kisses to Tristan, but it still isn’t enough to keep the big man down.

Jeannie: I doubt that felt as good as hugs and kisses.

Tom: That was lame.

Jeannie: It was better than that Valentine’s Day line.

Tom: That’s true.

*Casimiro gets up and picks up Tristan as Guillermo climbs onto the top turnbuckle. Casimiro tries to life Tristan up into a brainbuster, but Tristan counters and suplexes Casimiro into Guillermo. Guillermo goes flying and lands back first onto the guardrail corner, and Casimiro lands back first onto the steel post. A “Holy Shit!” chant breaks out.*

Tom: Sweet Sally In The Ally! Tristan suplexes Casimiro onto Guillermo, Guillermo falls off the top turnbuckle and lands back first onto the guardrail, and Casimiro lands back first onto the steel post.

Jeannie: Good God! He could have a broken back!

Tom: Which one?

Jeannie: Both of them!

*Tristan climbs up onto the second turnbuckle and places Casimiro into a seated position. Then, he grabs Casimiro and hits him with a super belly to back suplex. Tristan gets up and picks up Casimiro and hits him with a back breaker. He picks Casimiro up again and hits him with another backbreaker. Tristan picks him up and hits him with another backbreaker and another and another and another. Then, he throws Casimiro onto the mat and locks him into a camel clutch.*

Tom: Tristan works on Casimiro’s back and locks him into a camel clutch.

Jeannie: That’s smart thinking by Tristan, but he has to remember Guillermo on the outside. Even though he may be out with a bad back, he’s still a factor in this match.

*Casimiro struggles and yells out in pain, but he can’t get out of the hold. After a few minutes, Casimiro looks like he’s about to pass out from the pain. Suddenly, Guillermo rushes into the ring and hits Tristan with a bulldog, causing him to let go of the camel clutch. The ladies in the audience pop.*

Jeannie: Told ya!

Tom: Guillermo saves Casimiro from Tristan’s camel clutch, and the ladies seemed to love it.

Jeannie: Of course, we do. The ladies love the Latin Lovers.

*Guillermo picks up Tristan, places him against the ropes, and whips him across the ring. As Tristan bounces off the opposite ropes and comes running back forward to Guillermo. Guillermo charges at Tristan. However, Tristan hits Guillermo with a running lariat followed into a Go To Sleep.*

Tom: Misfitunction to Guillermo Miramontes. I doubt the ladies liked that.

Jeannie: No, we did not. Damn that sexy mohawked man!

*With Guillermo down, Tristan picks up Casimiro and throws him over the top rope. Then, he moves onto the apron and jumps off as Casimiro gets up, hitting him with a double axe handle. The ref begins a 10 count.*

Ref: 1…*Tristan picks up Casimiro.*

2…*Tristan bodyslams Casimiro back first onto the guardrail. The audience lets out a groan.*

3…*Tristan wraps his arm Casimiro’s neck.*

4…*Tristan pulls Casimiro out a little ways with his legs on the guardrail.*

5…*Tristan hits Casimiro with an elevated reverse DDT.*

6…*Tristan reenters the ring to break the count.*

Tom: Yo Ho Joe! Tristan Hades hits Casimiro Melendez with an elevated reverse DDT on the floor after bodyslamming him back first onto the guardrail! Casimiro may be out of this match for good!

Jeannie: And, that is what Tristan wants. Now, he can focus on the guy he really wants to hurt—Guillermo Miramontes.

*Tristan walks over to Guillermo and picks him up. He quickly hits Guillermo with a backbreaker. Tristan keeps Guillermo on his knee for a backbreaker submission, but Guillermo suddenly kicks him in the side of the head, causing him to let go of the hold. Both men get up. Tristan suddenly kicks Guillermo in the stomach, picks him up, and hits him with a ganso powerbomb.*

Jeannie: Oh My Fucking Ugly God!

Tom: Jeannie!

Jeannie: What!? That’s the name of the move!

Tom: You could have said OMFUG!

Jeannie: Our fans have been chanting “Holy Shit!” all night long, and you’re going to get onto me for saying “fuck”!? Lighten up, will you!?

Tom: We’re going to get complaints from the FCC! I just know it!

*Tristan gets up and picks up Guillermo. Suddenly, Guillermo thrusts his head into Tristan’s stomach. He quickly gets up and dropkicks Tristan into the corner. Then, Guillermo moves to the center of the ring and charges at Tristan with a spear. However, Tristan moves out of the way, and Guillermo crashes shoulder first into the steel post. The audience lets out a groan.*

Tom: Suffering Succotash! Just as Guillermo was building some momentum, he crashes and burns, hitting his shoulder on the steel post after Tristan moves out of the way.

Jeannie: Guillermo’s gonna need some Icy Hot, and I’m just the person to rub it on him.

Tom: Don’t even bother asking for someone to bring any out here—they’re not going to do it.

Jeannie: I know—that’s why I brought some of my own.

Tom: Sit down!

*Tristan pulls Guillermo from the corner and immediately goes to work on that right shoulder. He puts Guillermo into an armbar and hits him with a few shoulder thrusts to Guillermo’s shoulders. Then, he picks up Guillermo into a chickenwing and drops him to the mat. Tristan picks Guillermo up into another chickenwing and drops him to the mat again. Then, he hits Guillermo with a few more shoulder thrusts to that injured right shoulder. Tristan then picks Guillermo up onto his shoulder and hits him with a shoulderbreaker. Then, he pushes Guillermo off and onto the mat in a seated position and smashes his elbow onto Guillermo’s shoulder several times. Then, Tristan picks up Guillermo and hits him with a fisherman’s buster into a sit down slam and quickly locks him into a manriki.*

Tom: Sweet Bobby In The Lobby! Tristan hits the Punk Against The Masses and quickly locks on the Iggy’s Stooge!

Jeannie: After working on that shoulder and with that spill back first onto the guardrail earlier, Guillermo is in deep trouble.

Tom: Heck, the only way Guillermo Miramontes could possibly survive is Casimiro Melendez.

Jeannie: And, Casimiro is in Lalaland on the outside. So, this looks like a “W” in the win column of Tristan Hades’s record book.

*Tristan has the Iggy’s Stooge locked on tight. Guillermo yells out in pain. The ref checks on Guillermo, asking if he wants to give up. Guillermo says, “No!” This goes on for about a minute or two. Suddenly, Casimiro enters the ring, charges at Tristan and hits him with a vicious running kick to the side of his head, causing Tristan to let go of the hold. The ladies pop.*

Tom: Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious! Casimiro comes from out of nowhere with a kick to Tristan’s head and save his partner!

Jeannie: Well, that trip to Lalaland is over!

*Tristan gets up. He and Casimiro exchange punches. Tristan ends up getting the upperhand and punches Casimiro back into the ropes. Then, Tristan tries to whip Casimiro across the ring, but Casimiro hangs onto Tristan’s arm, swings under, pulls Tristan towards him, and hits Tristan with a reverse lungblower, causing him to bounce up and fall onto the ropes.*

Tom: 100 Years Of Solitude for Tristan Hades.

Jeannie: What are you talking about? He bounced back up.

Tom: I didn’t mean literally. I was just calling the action.

Jeannie: Well, excuse me.

*Casimiro gets up, and Tristan charges at him. However, Casimiro catches him and hits him with a side slam backbreaker.*

Tom: Clandestine in Chile stops Tristan in his tracks.

Jeannie: I love Chile. It’s so long, but it could be thicker though.

Tom: What does that have to do with anything?

Jeannie: You brought up Chile, and I like to make sexual innuendos.

*Casimiro picks up Tristan. Suddenly, Tristan hits Casimiro with a European uppercut and a kick to the stomach. Then, he bends Casimiro over and clubs him in the back a few times. Then, Tristan goes for a powerbomb, but Casimiro counters with a huricanrana. Both men get up. Tristan charges at Casimiro, but Casimiro hits him with a swinging side slam backbreaker.*

Tom: In Evil Hour to Tristan stop him from regaining control of the match.

Jeannie: In Evil Hour, eh? *long pause* I got nothing.

*Casimiro picks up Tristan, but Tristan surprises Casimiro again with a European uppercut. This one cause Casimiro to stagger back and fall onto the ropes. Tristan charges at Casimiro, but Casimiro moves away from the ropes, catches Tristan on his shoulders, and hits him with a cross-legged Samoan driver.*

Tom: Magical Realism to Tristan Hades. Casimiro is on a roll.

Jeannie: A magically real roll!

Tom: That maybe the worst one yet.

Jeannie: Don’t underestimate me, Tom!

Tom: You’re gonna come up with one that’s worse!?

Jeannie: Yeah! I mean, no! I mean…shut up!

*With Tristan down on the mat, Casimiro goes over to check on his partner. Guillermo is out cold. Casimiro tries to wake him with a few slaps but to no avail. Then, he pulls out the panties he caught earlier. The ladies start to cheer. Casimiro places the panties onto Guillermo’s face. Suddenly, Tristan gets up and hits Casimiro with a lariat from behind that knocks him onto the mat. Then, Tristan picks up Casimiro and powerbombs him to the outside. The audience lets out a groan.*

Tom: Holy Molly! Tristan powerbombs Casimiro straight to the outside!

Jeannie: He has to be out of it now!

*Suddenly, Guillermo places his hand over the panties and takes a big sniff. Guillermo kips up. Tristan turns around and is met with a punch to the face by Guillermo. Tristan punches back, and the two men exchange blows in the center of the ring. Suddenly, Guillermo ducks a punch from Tristan and hits him with an over the shoulder belly to back piledriver.*

Tom: Sweet Paul In The Hall! Guillermo comes back to life and hits Tristan with El Amor!

Jeannie: Guillermo is back in this match thanks to Panty Power!

Tom: Panty Power!?

Jeannie: Well, we’ve got to call that something.

*Guillermo gets up and picks up Tristan. Suddenly, Tristan pushes Guillermo away and goes for a clothesline, but Guillermo ducks. Tristan turns around, Guillermo kicks him in the stomach, and hits him with a cross-armed scoop brainbuster.*

Tom: Zärtlichkeiten to Tristan Hades, and amazingly Guillermo was able to pick him up despite the bad back and shoulder.

Jeannie: That’s the power of Panty Power!

Tom: Can you please call it something else!?

Jeannie: Um…no.

*Guillermo gets up and picks up Tristan. Then, he hits Tristan with a cross-legged fisherman’s buster.*

Tom: La Carretera to Tristan, and Guillermo shows no signs of slowing down.

Jeannie: All thanks to Panty Power!

Tom: I’m begging you—please call it something else!

Jeannie: Never!

*Guillermo gets up again, picks up Tristan, and hits him with a swinging fisherman’s suplex.*

Tom: And now Guillermo hits Tristan with Noche de Canto Lunas thanks to Panty Power. Oh God! Now I’m saying it!

Jeannie: Yay! Panty Power is here to stay!

*Guillermo gets up and picks up Tristan again. He wraps his arm underneath Tristan’s arm and neck, going for his finisher; but Tristan gives him several elbow shots to the side of his head, causing Guillermo to let go of the hold. Guillermo turns around, and Tristan hits him with a heard clothesline that takes him down as well. Tristan gets up, picks up Guillermo, and hits him with a vertical suplex piledriver.*

Tom: Rich Bitch Killer to Guillermo end his momentum.

Jeannie: Hey! Don’t underestimate Panty Power!

Tom: Will you stop!?

Jeannie: No, I won’t, Gorilla Monsoon!

*Tristan gets up and picks up Guillermo again. Suddenly, Casimiro comes out of nowhere and hits Tristan with a missile dropkick. Tristan falls back onto the ropes and bounces off them. Guillermo grabs Tristan and hits with an underarm snap STO.*

Tom: Great Googly Moogly! Casimiro with a missile dropkick out of nowhere followed by Asi Nacemos from Guillermo!

Jeannie: I told you not to underestimate Panty Power.

*Both Lovers pick up Tristan. Suddenly, Tristan lowblows both Latin Lovers. They both fall to their knees. The referee calls for the bell, and the crowd boos.*

Finkel: Here are your winner by disqualification—THE LATIN LOVERS.

Tom: I don’t believe it! Tristan got himself disqualified! But why!

Jeannie: I guess he just got frustrated with dealing with the Latin Lovers.

*Tristan exits the ring, grabs a chair from the time keeper’s area, and reenters the ring. The ref tries to stop him from using the chair, but Tristan pushes him down. Casimiro stands up, but Tristan hits him over the head with the chair, and he falls back to the mat.*

Tom: What the hell is wrong with Tristan!?

Jeannie: I don’t know, but give me two hours alone with him in a bedroom and I’ll find out why.

*Tristan then waits for Guillermo to get up. He does, and Tristan tries to hit him with the chair. However, Guillermo kicks him in the crotch and then dropkicks the chair into Tristan’s face. Tristan falls onto the mat. The ladies pop.*

Tom: Rolly Pollie Ollie! Guillermo stops Tristan with a lowblow of his own and dropkicks the chair into his face!

Jeannie: Someone’s been reading Highlights.

Tom: I have kids—so sue me!

*Guillermo grabs Casimiro, and they leave the ring. After they’ve walked through the entranceway curtain, Tristan gets up and goes after them.*

Tom: Well, I doubt this is just the beginning of a feud between Tristan Hades and the Latin Lovers.

Jeannie: This has the potential to be the sexiest feud in W*I*G.

Tom: How so!?

Jeannie: All three are sexy! Duh!

*We cut to the interview area backstage. John Cena is there, and the Latin Lovers show up.*

Cena: Latin Lovers—how do you feel about you’re victory against Tristan Hades?

Guillermo: We’re having a good match, and that asshole has to ruin it with that crotch attacking bullcrap! Well, let me tell you something…

*Suddenly, Tristan Hades jumps Guillermo and attacks him. Casimiro returns the favor. Both of the men brawl back and forth, smashing through a catering table and down to the ground as officials and security attempt to break them apart.*

[James E. Colvin]

*We come back to ringside, and are ready for another match.

Tom: I personally can’t wait for this one!

Jeannie: I’m excited to see just what Kensuke brings to the table in his debut

Tom: But you can never count out Exner, especially when you factor in the other members of the Pantheon will most likely be at ringside, too.

Jeannie: Indeed.

Tom: Well, lets go to Howard Finkel with the introductions!

Howard Finkel: The following match is scheduled for one fall, and has a 60 minute time limit. The winner of this match will be added to the first ever W*I*G Title match, which will happen at the next W*I*G Pay Per View, Parade of Champions. The first competitor….

*The Max Payne 2 theme begins to play, as Exner, followed by Jonathan Doe and Cheyenne, who is still shackled around the waist, make their way through the crowd to a chorus of boos.

Fink: Being accompanied to the ring by Jonathan Doe and Cheyenne, from New York City, weighing in at 235 pounds, representing the Pantheon of the New Revelation, this is… Exner!

Tom: Exner, along with his fellow Pantheon stablemates, enters through the crowd. And the crowd tells him just what they think of him.

Jeannie: Tom, did you know that Exner has never suffered a documented defeat by pinfall or submission?

Tom: I did not know that. But that’ll all end tonight if our next competitor has anything to say about it.

Fink: And his opponent….

* “Time” by Pink Floyd plays over the sound system, as an elaborate laser show happens around the entrance stage. Kensuke Miyamoto walks out.

Fink: From Tokyo, Japan, weighing in at 111 kilos, Kensuke Miyamoto!

*Both men are in the ring, as the referee explains the rules. He tries to get them to shake hands, but Exner doesn’t budge. Doe and Cheyenne are refusing to leave the ring. Finally, the referee threatens to disqualify Exner if they do not leave the ring. They reluctantly leave.

Tom: The Pantheon almost cost Exner the match before it started!

Jeannie: They better watch themselves. Otherwise, they will have a very angry Exner on their hands.

Tom: And that is something nobody wants!

Jeannie: You said it!

*The referee signals for the bell, and the match begins.

Jeannie: Here we go!

Tom: This match is underway.

*The two circle around each other, before locking up. Miyamoto is able to gain the advantage and slips behind with a waist lock. He attempts a suplex, but Exner is able to hit him with an elbow to the head, causing him to break the hold. The two lock up again. This time, Exner goes for an Irish Whip. Miyamoto hit’s the ropes and rebounds. Exner ducks. Miyamoto returns, and Exner rocks him with a textbook dropkick, and immediately goes for a chinlock.

Jeannie: Surprising move there by Exner!

Tom: Exner switching things up by actually using some…pure wrestling? Never in a thousand years would I thought I would be saying that.

Jeannie: Even in Exner’s demented mind, I’m sure he knows what’s on the line in this match.

Tom: Well, I’m sure Jonathan Doe hasn’t let him forget it. He’d love to have any claim to any title, especially the W*I*G title.

Jeannie: I don’t even want to think what would happen if Exner won the title.

Tom: Well, hopefully we’ll never have to find out. And lets not think about it. I am quite confident in Miyamoto’s skills here.

Jeannie: Oh, me, too.

*Exner still has Miyamoto in the chinlock, but the crowd is starting to chant for Miyamoto.

Jeannie: Listen to this crowd!

Tom: They are completely behind Kensuke Miyamoto!

*Miyamoto is able to get to one knee. Soon, he is standing, but Exner still has his head locked. Miyamoto elbows Exner in the stomach, causing him to break the hold. He runs into the ropes, but Doe trips him from the outside!

Jeannie: What? No!

Tom: What a blatant display of cheating by Jonathan Doe. Is this referee going to do anything?

*The referee quickly slides out of the ring and gets in Doe’s face. After a few seconds of arguing, the referee signals that both he and Cheyenne have been ejected from ringside. This sends Doe into a tirade! He kicks the steps as they leave through the crowd.

Jeannie: Yes!

Tom: The referee did the right thing there, and now maybe this match will be fair.

Jeannie: With Exner, you can never tell.

*Exner is standing against the ropes, watching as his leader and stablemate are forced to leave. While he is distracted, Miyamoto sneaks up behind him. Small package! But the referee is not back in the ring yet.

Tom: Small Package!

Jeannie: Miyamoto could win it here!

*The referee tries to quickly get back into the ring. Once he is in, he begins counting the pinfall.

1

2

*Exner is able to kick out at the last second.

Tom: No! Not quite!

Jeannie: The referee wasn’t quite ready to count that pinfall. Otherwise, this match would probably be over.

Tom: I have to agree there.

*Miyamoto gets up, and he is frustrated. He signals for the end of this match. He waits for Exner to get up. When he does, he runs towards him and hits him with a vicious Roaring Elbow that sends him out of the ring!

Jeannie: Roaring Elbow!

Tom: That connected hard right on the jaw! Exner may have broken some bones!

Jeannie: That was hit with such power, that Exner was knocked right out of the ring!

*Exner is laying on the arena floor, half under the ring skirting. Miyamoto goes outside and picks Exner up, and slides him back in the ring. Miyamoto follows. Once both are back in the ring, Miyamoto picks Exner up off the canvas, and Exner hit’s him with a vicious punch! Miyamoto goes down. Exner goes for a quick cover.

Jeannie: Exner was possibly playing possum!

Tom: Wait a minute. I want to see a replay of that punch!

Jeannie: That’s going to have to wait. Exner is going for the pin!

*The referee begins to count.

1

2

*Exner pulls on Miyamoto’s tights

3

*The referee signals for the bell. This match is over!

Fink: Here is your winner, Exner!

Jeannie: What?

Tom: I want to see a replay of that punch!

*A replay of the punch that won the match is shown in slow motion. In the replay, you can clearly see that Exner used brass knuckles.

Tom: God dammit!
Jeannie: Exner must have picked up that pair of brass knuckles when he was down and out on the outside.

Tom: So not only does Exner have his friends do his dirty work, not only does he use the tights, but he uses brass knuckles? That’s not what W*I*G is about! And more importantly, Exner is better than that! I hate the man for what he does, but I know he’s a much better competitor than that. He doesn’t need to cheat win!

Jeannie: And here comes the cavalry!

*Jonathan Doe, with Cheyenne being reluctantly tugged behind him, come out to the ring to congratulate Exner. They leave through the crowd, as the fans pelt the three with garbage. Miyamoto comes to in the ring, and looks incredibly disappointed.

*An On-screen graphic appears, with the three silhouettes and a picture of Coltrane. Down at the bottom, it has "First Ever W*I*G Championship Match". One of the silhouettes is replaced by a picture of Exner.

[James E. Colvin]

Howard Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is a Guitars On Poles Match. Four guitars have been placed on four poles connected to each corner. In order to win, a team must climb up, grab a guitar, and smash it over both members of the opposing team.

*The White Boys’ music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHsDa9_HSlA

Finkel: Introducing first, coming down the aisle, at a combined weight of 450 pounds, from Mobile, Alabama—THE WHITE BOYS.

*The White Boys come out to the boos of the crowd. They are wearing crimson red tights with “Crimson Tide” in white down the legs and the face of an elephant on the butt. They walk to the ring and enter it. Then, some pyro in the design of a Confederate Flag goes off.*

Tom Bailey: Well, this should be an interesting bout. The White Boys look to be the favorites in this match since they made the bout.

Jeannie Lawless: Plus, we’ve seen some tension between James “Magnum” Constance and L. Rey. And, not the good kind that leads to sex—the bad kind that leads to fighting.

Tom: Wait! You wanted to see L. Rey and Magnum have sex!?

Jeannie: No! I’m just saying! Stop looking at me like that!!!!

*James “Magnum” Constance’s music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=CR9WJToFsTs

Finkel: And, their opponents, first, coming down the aisle, at 6 feet 2 inches, weighing at 245 pounds, from Honolulu Hawaii, by way of Detroit, Michigan—JAMES “MAGNUM” CONSTANCE.

*The crowd pops as Magnum comes out. He is wearing sunglasses, a Detroit Tigers cap, a Hawaiian shirt, green tropical floral design trunks, black knee pads, and black boots. He walks to the ring as some pyro goes off and enters it. Then, he takes off his cap, shirt, and sunglasses and hands them to the referee, who hands them to the timekeeper.*

Jeannie: Magnum looks pretty somber tonight.

Tom: He’s got to be serious tonight if he wants to win, especially when there’s tension between him and L. Rey.

Jeannie: He looks sexy when he’s serious, but I think he looks sexier when he’s jovial.

Tom: How can you tell? Doesn’t he look sexy all the time?

Jeannie: Well, you see…wait! You think Magnum looks sexy!?

Tom: What!? No! Well…I mean, yes, but…um…YOU WANT TO SEE MAGNUM AND L. REY HAVE SEX!

Jeannie: Apparently, you want to see that as well.

*L. Rey’s music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=QoQdLJt--kE

Finkel: And, his partner, coming down the aisle, at 5 feet 9 inches, weighing at 202 pounds, from Amarillo, Texas—L. REY.

*L. Rey comes out to a nice pop. He’s wearing a black leather coat, blue jeans, and black boots. L. Rey runs down to the ring and quickly slides in. Suddenly, L. Rey takes off his coat, throws it at Justin White, and attacks him.*

Tom: L. Rey starting this off with a bang.

Jeannie: He is angry. Though you have to wonder if that anger is directed only at the White Boys.

*The bell rings. L. Rey continues punching and kicking Justin. Jason tries to help his brother, but Magnum stops him with a spear. Jason falls onto the apron. Magnum then climbs up and goes for a guitar. Jason quickly gets up and kicks Magnum in the stomach. Magnum almost falls but manages to grab the top rope. Jason climbs up and goes for the guitar. However, Magnum grabs him and drops him to the mat with a belly to back suplex from the top turnbuckle.*

Tom: Good golly, Miss Molly! Belly to back suplex from the top turnbuckle to Jason White, and the match just started!

Jeannie: We’re going to see a lot of moves from the top turnbuckle in this type of match. I can guarantee you that!

*Meanwhile, L. Rey continues beating on Justin White in the corner. He then hits Justin with a double foot stomp to his chest and starts climbing up to get a guitar. However, Justin grabs L. Rey’s blue jeans and pulls himself up. L. Rey punches Justin as he pulls himself up in order to get him to let go, but it doesn’t work. Justin stands up, places L. Rey onto his shoulders, and pulls him away from the corner. L. Rey continues punching Justin in the head. Justin goes for a powerbomb, but L. Rey counters with a huricanrana. Justin falls throat first onto the second rope. L. Rey gets up, runs to the ropes, bounces off them, charges at Justin, and hits him with a 619.*

Tom: Golpeyando En La Puerta Del Cielo to Justin White.

Jeannie: Do we still have to pay Bob Dylan if we say it in Spanish?

Tom: I don’t know. Maybe.

Jeannie: Well, I might as well say that that means “Knocking On Heaven’s Door” in English.

*Magnum and Jason get up. Suddenly, Magnum clotheslines Jason out of the ring. Magnum moves onto the apron and waits for Jason to get up. He does and Magnum jumps off the apron, hitting Jason with a double axe handle. Jason doesn’t go down. Magnum then hits Jason with some chops and European uppercuts, pushing him back against the guardrails. Then, Magnum whips Jason across the floor to the opposite guardrail. Magnum charges at Jason, but Jason ducks, and back body drops Magnum over the guardrail. Jason climbs over the guardrail and grabs the chair of a fan. He waits for Magnum to get up. Magnum does, and Jason hits him in the head with the chair.*

Tom: Jason hits Magnum with a chair, possibly taking him out of this match for a while.

Jeannie: He does know that it’s a guitar to the head that will win the match, doesn’t he?

Tom: I’m sure he does, and I doubt he cares that wasn’t a guitar.

*In the ring, L. Rey in beating on Justin. He picks Justin up and throws over the top rope to the outside. L. Rey then climbs up and reaches for a guitar. Suddenly, Jason comes out of nowhere and jabs that chair into L. Rey’s stomach. Then, he climbs up and suddenly jumps over L. Rey, taking him to the mat with a sunset flip. The audience lets out a groan.*

Tom: Vicious sunset flip to L. Rey.

Jeannie: He may have knocked L. Rey out, and if so, I better go wake him up.

Tom: Sit down!

Jeannie: Why won’t you ever let me help the injured wrestlers!?

Tom: That’s not your job!

Jeannie: So!?

*Jason gets up. He grabs the chair and turns around to see L. Rey crawling on the mat. Jason walks behind L. Rey and goes to hit him with it. Suddenly, L. Rey turns around and takes Jason down with a drop toe hold; and Jason ends up landing face first on the chair. The audience lets out another groan.*

Jeannie: Ouch!

Tom: Looks like L. Rey was playing possum.

Jeannie: And, Jason White ended up as road kill.

*L. Rey gets up on his knees. He grabs Jason by his hair and slams him down against the chair. Then, he picks up Jason and does this again and again and again and again. He does this about 20 times. Then, L. Rey sits on Jason’s back and puts him into a Dragon sleeper camel clutch.*

Tom: El Angel Sleeper to Jason after multiple slams to that chair. However, this will not win L. Rey and Magnum the match.

Jeannie: No, but it will knock Jason out and keep him from climbing to get a guitar.

Tom: Good point.

*L. Rey has the move locked on for a minute or so. Jason struggles in the hold for a while and then starts to fade. Suddenly, Justin slides into the ring, charges at L. Rey, and hits him with a knee to the side of the head, causing L. Rey to let go of the hold.*

Tom: Sweet Fancy Moses! Justin’s knee nearly takes L. Rey’s head off!

Jeannie: That was brilliant! Justin rested on the outside, waited until L. Rey wasn’t alert, and made his move. He’s smart and sexy.

Tom: What does Justin being sexy have to do with this?

Jeannie: Everything!

*Justin moves to Jason to a corner. L. Rey gets up, but Justin charges at him, and hits him with a leg lariat. Then, Justin gets up, picks up L. Rey, and hit him with a saito suplex.*

Tom: Auburn Sucks to L. Rey after a leg lariat.

Jeannie: Wait! Why would a guy from Alabama have a move that states that a university in Alabama sucks?

Tom: The White Boys went to the University of Alabama, one of Auburn’s chief rivals.

Jeannie: Oh. I didn’t know that.

Tom: How could you not know!? They’re wearing tights that have “Crimson Tide” and an elephant on them!

Jeannie: I was too busy looking at their handsome faces! Excuse me!

*Justin gets up and picks up L. Rey, but he doesn’t fully stand up. Justin starts slapping L. Rey around. Suddenly, out of nowhere, Magnum rushes into the ring and hits Justin with a vicious lariat.*

Tom: Goodness Gracious! Great Balls Of Fire! What a lariat from Magnum!

Jeannie: I hope Magnum didn’t damage Justin’s gorgeous face.

*Magnum starts climbing up the turnbuckle to grab a guitar. Suddenly, just at he has made it to the top turnbuckle, Justin throws a chair at Magnum, causing him to fall crotch first onto the top rope. Then, Justin gets up, charges at Magnum, and knocks him off the rope and to the outside with a leg lariat.*

Jeannie: Damn! Justin’s tough!

Tom: After a vicious lariat, Justin White doesn’t stay down, throwing a chair Magnum to keep him from getting the guitar and knocking him to the outside with a leg lariat.

*Justin then starts climbing to get the guitar. Suddenly, L. Rey gets up, charges at the ropes, and knocks Justin off the top turnbuckle, causing him to land crotch first onto the top rope with his back facing to the pole. Then, L. Rey climbs up to the top turnbuckle. Suddenly, he hits Justin with two stiff kicks to the chest followed by a high speed roundhouse kick to the back of his head. Both men fall to the mat. The audience starts chanting L. Rey’s name.*

Tom: Holy Mackerel! L. Rey hits El Fabricante de Aureola from the top rope!

Jeannie: Impressive, but L. Rey fell to the mat as well. One has to wonder if that took just as much out of L. Rey as it did Justin White.

*L. Rey kips up. He starts climbing to the top turnbuckle. Just as he is about to grab a guitar, Jason comes out of nowhere and pushes L. Rey off the turnbuckle. L. Rey goes flying and lands chest first onto the guardrail corner. The audience lets out a “Holy Shit!” chant.

Tom: Holy Hannah Montana! Jason White comes from out of nowhere and pushes L. Rey off the turnbuckle, causing him to land chest first onto the guardrail!

Jeannie: Okay, that fall from the top rope might not have taken anything out of L. Rey, but that sure as hell had to.

*Jason then starts climbing up to the top turnbuckle to grab the guitar. As he reaches up, Magnum jumps up onto the apron and smacks Jason in the crotch. Then, Magnum climbs up to the top turnbuckle, grabs Jason, and hits him with a Pepsi plunge.*

Tom: Magnum comes out of nowhere, stops Jason from getting the guitar, and hits him with some Texas Lighting.

Jeannie: Now, why do these guys have to go for the crotch!? That’s just not right!

*Suddenly, Justin gets up and charges at Magnum. However, Magnum catches him and hits Justin with a throat-first flapjack onto the top rope followed by a clothesline.*

Tom: Kiss The Sabre stops Justin from getting any offense after being out for awhile.

Jeannie: Magnum’s on a role, Tom. And, it doesn’t look like it’s going to be stopping anytime soon.

*Magnum sees Jason slowly getting up and sneaks up behind him. Then, Magnum locks him into a straight jacket hold and hits Jason with a sitout rear mat slam.*

Tom: Dream A Little Dream to Jason White.

Jeannie: It looks like he was already dreaming a little dream before Magnum hit him with it.

Tom: Ugh!

Jeannie: What!? That was better than my other ones!

Tom: Yeah, but it was still bad!

*Magnum gets up. Suddenly, Justin comes charging at Magnum. However, Magnum catches him with a flapjack lift into a cutter.*

Tom: Magnum stops Justin White, this time with the Paradise Blues.

Jeannie: Like I said, he’s on a roll that can’t be stopped.

*Magnum gets up and picks up Justin. Suddenly, Jason sneaks up behind Magnum and hits him a lowblow. Then, Justin manages to him Magnum with a reverse lungblower.*

Jeannie: Well, I spoke too soon.

Tom: Alabama Breaker Number 2 to Magnum, with some assist from Jason’s lowblow.

Jeannie: If these guys are going to keep on hitting each other in the crotch, then I’m going to have to go put some ice on them.

Tom: Sit down!

Jeannie: Spoiler!

*The White Boys stand up and take a breather. Then, they pick up Magnum and hit him with a double STO. Then, they pick him up again and him with a double flapjack. The White Boys pick up Magnum again, and this time, they hit him with the Total Elimination.*

Tom: Pickin’ Cotton to Magnum after a few double team moves.

Jeannie: Magnum just got totally eliminated…I mean, he just got his cotton picked.

Tom: WOW! I don’t know what’s worse—the mistake you made or that “cotton picked” line.

Jeannie: Shut up! All this man meat in the ring is distracting me!

Tom: Whatever.

*Justin moves onto the apron as Jason beats on Magnum and picks him up. Then, Justin jumps onto the top rope as Jason lifts Magnum up; and they hit him with a springboard spike double underhook piledriver.*

Tom: Spike Alabama Driller to Magnum.

Jeannie: I think now would be a good time for one of the White Boys to get a guitar.

Tom: Hell, with L. Rey down on the outside, they could both go for a guitar.

*Jason beats on Magnum some more as Justin climbs to a corner. He reaches up and grabs a guitar. The crowd boos as Justin climbs down. Jason picks up Magnum and holds him up. Justin is about to hit Magnum with the guitar when suddenly L. Rey comes from out of nowhere and hits Justin with a springboard forearm strike, knocking him down and the guitar out of his hand. The crowd pops.*

Jeannie: Holy Crap! Where did L. Rey come from!

Tom: Great Caesar’s Ghost! L. Rey come from out of nowhere and saves Magnum with La Espada De Damocles to Justin White!

Jeannie: I thought he was out of it!

Tom: I guess we shouldn’t sell L. Rey short!

*Jason throws Magnum to the ground and charges at L. Rey, kicking him in the chest. Then, he picks up L. Rey and hits him with a European uppercut followed by a neckbreaker.*

Jeannie: I guess we spoke too soon!

Tom: Jason takes down L. Rey with the Alabama Uppercut Number 1. That chest must still be hurting.

Jeannie: True, but L. Rey can probably fight through the pain. And, most of his moves are strikes, which don’t really involve the chest. So, don’t count him out yet!

*Jason picks up L. Rey and throws him into the corner. Then, he walks over to the guitar Jason dropped. Just as he is about to get it, Magnum charges at Jason and hits him with a high knee strike that sands Jason to the outside. Then, Magnum looks at the guitar and smiles at the camera. The crowd pops. Suddenly, Justin sneaks up behind Magnum and hits him with a lungblower. The crowd boos.*

Tom: Alabama Breaker Number 1 to Magnum after he takes out Jason.

Jeannie: Oh! Magnum has such a nice smile!

Tom: What was up with the smile at the camera?

Jeannie: I don’t know, and I don’t care.

*Justin gets up. He waits for L. Rey to get out of the corner. L. Rey does and Justin goes for a superkick. However, L. Rey catches his leg, smashes his elbow on Justin’s knee, takes him to the mat, and locks him into a modified reverse figure four leglock.*

Tom: L. Rey counters the superkick with El Angel Hitch.

Jeannie: Smart move. Take out the knee, and keep Justin from climbing. Through, L. Rey should have done it earlier.

Tom: Better late than never.

Jeannie: Well, that’s true.

*L. Rey has the move locked on for a minute or two. Justin struggles to get out of the hold. As this goes on Magnum gets up. Suddenly, Jason comes charging into the ring with the free guitar. But, Magnum catches him and hits him with a Double A spinebuster right onto Justin’s back. Then, Magnum gets up, runs to the ropes, bounces off them, runs at the White Boys, and hits them with a running splash. Magnum gets up. He moves to a corner, climbs to the top turnbuckle, jumps off, and lands on the White Boys with a diving knee drop.*

Tom: Diving knee drop to the White Boys.

Jeannie: You know, Magnum should have gotten a guitar.

Tom: True, but Magnum and L. Rey are now working together on the White Boys, really for the first time in this match. The riff between the two could be healing.

Jeannie: Also true, but there could still be some tension between the two.

*With Jason down and Justin in El Angel Hitch, Magnum climbs up a corner to get a guitar. Suddenly, Jason sits up and clubs L. Rey in the chest and face, which causes him to let go of the hold. Both L. Rey and Justin roll out of the ring. Meanwhile, Magnum gets on the top turnbuckle and grabs the guitar. As he climbs down, Jason stands up and grabs the free guitar. Magnum gets on the mat. Both men turn around, swing their guitars, and hit each other with them. They both fall to the mat. The crowd starts a “Holy Shit!” chant again.*

Tom: Santa Vaca! Magnum and Jason hit each other with guitars!

Jeannie: That means both teams are tied! Either L. Rey or Justin White has to get hit by a guitar to end the match!

*L. Rey slides into the ring. He walks over to a corner, climbs up to the top turnbuckle, and reaches for a guitar. Suddenly, Justin slides into the ring, pulls the broken guitar off of Magnum, and throws it at L. Rey. It hits him in the face and causes him to fall, and he lands chest first onto the guardrail.*

Jeannie: Not again!

Tom: Justin throws the guitar at L. Rey, and he falls on the guardrail again!

*Justin stands up. He bends his knee a few times. Then, Justin picks up Magnum and hits him with a leg hook brainbuster. Then, Justin picks up Magnum again and throws him out of the ring.*

Tom: Justin takes out Magnum with The Birmingham Buster.

Jeannie: Now, he just needs to smash a guitar over L. Rey’s head to win the match.

*Justin walks over to a corner and goes for a guitar. As he gets to the top turnbuckle, L. Rey jumps onto the apron. However, Justin sees this, kicks L. Rey in the chest, jumps off the turnbuckle, and drops his arm across L. Rey’s back, squashing him chest first onto the top rope. Justin then turns L. Rey around, pulls him onto the rope by his hair, jumps up, and drops his right elbow onto L. Rey’s chest.*

Tom: Crimson Tide to L. Rey’s chest. That must have taken him out!

Jeannie: Justin really wants to win this match, and it looks he might do it.

*Justin pounces on L. Rey, stomping on his chest. Meanwhile, Jason gets up and removes the broken guitar from his head. Jason tells Justin to pick L. Rey up as he lays down on the mat. Justin picks L. Rey up and hits him with an Alabama Slam onto Jason’s knees.*

Tom: Ode To Robert Lee to L. Rey. The White Boys are now picking L. Rey apart.

Jeannie: This is smart—weaken the guy they have to smash a guitar over. Though, they have to watch out for Magnum.

*Jason gets up and picks up L. Rey as Justin moves onto the apron. Then, Jason lifts L. Rey up, Justin jumps onto the top rope, and they hit L. Rey with a spinebuster/springboard spinning heel kick combo.*

Tom: And, the White Boys take L. Rey Down The Alabama River.

Jeannie: What?

Tom: Down The Alabama River—that’s the name of the move.

Jeannie: Oh. Wait…there’s an Alabama River?

Tom: I guess.

*The White Boys pick up L. Rey. Then, Jason hits L. Rey with an uppercut followed by a leg lariat from Justin followed by a jawbreaker by Jason followed by a jumping big boot by Justin and finished with a reverse STO by Jason.*

Tom: The Confederates’ Revenge to L. Rey. He has to be out.

Jeannie: Oh yeah! Just grab a guitar, White Boys, and end this.

*Jason picks up L. Rey in a holding suplex. He holds L. Rey as Justin jumps up onto him, placing his knees onto L. Rey’s chest. And, they hit L. Rey with an inverted suplex slam/modified double knee chestbreaker.*

Tom: The South Will Rise Again! That has to be it for L. Rey.

Jeannie: The fat lady is singing, and Yogi Berra is saying it’s over.

*The White Boys get up. Jason climbs a corner. Just as he gets onto the top turnbuckle, L. Rey somehow manages to fling that broken guitar at Jason, causing him to fall off the turnbuckle. Jason lands on the apron and looks pissed. Justin pounces on L. Rey, stomping on his chest. As this goes on, Jason walks over to the timekeeper area and grabs two chairs. He throws one chair into the ring. Justin picks up L. Rey as Jason enters the ring. Then, Jason hits L. Rey in the head with the chair. The audience lets out a groan and then a loud boo. L. Rey falls against the ropes.*

Tom: What a vicious chair shot to L. Rey!

Jeannie: Yeah, but that won’t win them the match.

Tom: I think anger has gotten the better of the White Boys.

Jeannie: That can’t be good for L. Rey or the White Boys if they make a big mistake.

*Justin grabs the chair Jason threw into the ring. L. Rey staggers from the ropes. Then, Justin hits him viciously in the head with the chair. The crowd lets out another groan and then boos Justin. However, L. Rey doesn’t fall down.*

Tom: Great Shades Of Elvis! L. Rey takes another chair to the head! But he somehow doesn’t fall down!

Jeannie: He could be out on his feet! Probably has a concussion and needs mouth to mouth!

Tom: Sit down! And, how would mouth to mouth resuscitation help with a concussion!?

Jeannie: Well, it wouldn’t hurt.

*L. Rey staggers around. Jason hits him in the head with the chair again, but L. Rey doesn’t go down. Then, Justin hits L. Rey with a chair to the head, but L. Rey still doesn’t go down.*

Tom: By Odin’s Beard! Two more chair shots, and L. Rey still doesn’t go down!

Jeannie: Wow! L. Rey can take a lot of punishment! I have a whole basement of whips and chains I’d like to use on him.

Tom: The more I learn about you, Jeannie, the more frightened I become.

*With L. Rey barely able to stand on his feet, the White Boys each move to his sides. They swing their chairs at L. Rey’s head going for a con-chair-to, but L. Rey finally falls to the mat, causing the White Boys to bang their chairs together. The crowd pops. The White boys drop their chairs and shake their hands. Suddenly, Magnum runs into the ring and spears both White Boys. The crowd pops again.*

Tom: Suddenly Susan! The White Boys not only miss the con-chair-to but also get a double spear from Magnum!

Jeannie: Suddenly Susan!? Where do you come up with these exclamations?

Tom: They just pop into my head.

Jeannie: Well, pop them out—they’re horrible.

*Magnum and the White Boys get up. Magnum quickly dropkicks Jason and gets up. Then, as Justin comes charging at him, Magnum hits him with a jumping superkick.*

Tom: Wave Goodbye to Justin White.

Jeannie: Well, it looks like you can wave good by to the White Boys’ chances of winning this match.

Tom: And, my exclamations are horrible.

Jeannie: Yeah, but…shut up!

*Magnum turns around and sees Jason charging at him. However, Magnum catches him and hits him with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Both men get up. Jason charges at Magnum for a clothesline, but Magnum ducks, moves behind Justin, grabs him, and hits him with a belly to back suplex. They both get up again. This time, Magnum dropkicks Jason. Jason falls back into the ropes and bounces off them, and Magnum gets up, grabs Jason, and hits him with a jumping neckbreaker slam.*

Tom: Tigers Fan to Jason after a barrage of moves.

Jeannie: Magnum is on fire, which makes sense since he’s hottie.

*As this has gone on, Justin has made his way to a corner. He climbs up the corner and reaches for the guitar but slips and almost falls. Justin is able to catch himself, but Magnum sees him going for the guitar. He goes for the guitar, but Magnum charges at Justin and clubs him in the back. Then, Magnum climbs up the turnbuckle. He grabs Justin, places him back first onto his shoulders, and hits Justin with a reverse thrown inverted Death Valley Driver from the top rope. Another “Holy Shit!” chant breaks out.*

Tom: By The Power Of Grayskull! Magnum hits Justin White with the Ode To Tom Selleck from the top turnbuckle!

Jeannie: This crowd really likes chanting “Holy Shit!”

Tom: Jeannie! You can’t say that on pay-per-view!

Jeannie: Why not!? The crowd’s been saying it! Besides, they show porn on pay-per-view!

*Magnum gets up and climbs back up the corner. He gets onto the top turnbuckle, but as he’s about to get the guitar, he sees Jason running to the corner. So, Magnum jumps off and hits him with a double axe handle. Then, he picks up Jason and hits him with a double underhook piledriver.*

Tom: Magnum hits the Big Blow to Jason after a double axe handle.

Jeannie: You know, Magnum should have grabbed the guitar and hit Jason with it and won the match.

Tom: Yeah, that wasn’t real bright of him.

*As Magnum beats on Jason, L. Rey and Justin start stirring around. They slowly get up. Justin then bends over and grabs a chair. Suddenly, L. Rey gets up, charges at Justin, flips over him while locking his arms around Justin’s arms, and hits him with an Unprettier onto the chair. Another “Holy Shit!” chant breaks out.*

Tom: A Dios Mios! El Angel De Muerte to Justin White on the chair!

Jeannie: Again with the “Holy Shit!” chants! But, what L. Rey did was impressive.

*L. Rey gets up. He walks over to a corner and climbs up to get a guitar. As he gets onto the top rope and is about to grab the guitar, Magnum picks up Jason White and whips him into the ropes, causing L. Rey to lose his balance and fall crotch first onto the top rope. The audience lets out a groan.*

Jeannie: Oh no!

Tom: As L. Rey was getting a guitar Magnum whipped Jason White into the ropes, knocking L. Rey off balance!

Jeannie: I haven’t seen this much crotch abuse since I walked in on my mom with that guy who liked to get him in the crotch.

*Magnum runs over to L. Rey to apologize for what he’s done. This allows Jason to sneak up behind Magnum and hit him with an inverted tornado DDT.*

Tom: Magnum gets distracted, and Jason capitalizes on it with the Alabama Twister.

Jeannie: That’s probably not going to be the only thing he’s going to capitalize on.

*Jason pushes L. Rey off the top rope, and he falls onto the apron. Jason then climbs up the corner and grabs the guitar. As L. Rey stands up on the apron, Jason jumps off and smashes the guitar over L. Rey’s head. L. Rey falls off the apron, the ref calls for the bell, and the White Boys music plays.*

Finkel: Here are your winners—THE WHITE BOYS.

Jeannie: Told ya!

*Jason jumps up and down in celebration as the crowd boos. He picks up Justin and slaps him a few times to wake him up. Then, they leave in celebration.*

Tom: The White Boys win thanks to a huge mistake by James “Magnum” Constance.

Jeannie: I wonder how L. Rey is going to react to all this.

*After the White Boys have left, Magnum gets up. He exits the ring and checks on L. Rey. He picks L. Rey up and apologizes to him. Magnum begs for forgiveness from L. Rey. Suddenly, L. Rey viciously slaps Magnum. The crowd looks shocked. Magnum holds his cheek and looks shocked. But, L. Rey just walks away.*

Jeannie: Well, that answers my question.

Tom: Much like those guitars, the team of L. Rey and James “Magnum” Constance has been shattered.

Jeannie: What’s goin tot happen to that other guitar that wasn’t used?

Tom: I don’t know.

[James E. Colvin]

Finkel: The following contest is a Special Challenge match, scheduled for one fall!

*Metallica's St Anger starts up on the Colvintron, the entrance ramp becoming bathed in a golden light once again, as a confident Rosie steps out from the back, a huge sneer on her face, as she licks her lips a bit, cracking her knuckles, before stomping down toward the ring, Earnest following her in tow, seeming to be anything but happy to be accompanying her from the looks of things.

Finkel: Introducing the challenger, from the Land of Purity, accompanied to the ring by Earnest, weighing in at two-hundred pounds, Rosie!

Tom: Now, this is a strange match. Not the competitors, but how it came to be.

Jeannie: Indeed. Neither woman challenged the other personally. Rosie was told by some mysterious source that she needed to challenge Alexa. And so now its happening.

*She quick slips inside the ring, wasting no time making her entrance, Earnest making his way to the outside, simply folding his arms and watching reluctantly, that long black hair of his obscuring his face as he stands there.

Tom: Man, what an intimidating woman.

Jeannie: Do you like that?

Tom: I’ve come to find that fear and love go together.

*Soon after, The Yeah Yeah Yeah's Date with The Night picks up on the Colvintron, as the crowd cheers, Alexa King heading out from the back next, looking absolutely focused on this upcoming match, intent on showing this... woman and the rest of WIG just how tough she is.

Finkel: And her opponent, from Omak Washington, weighing in at one hundred and fifty pounds, Alexa King!

Jeannie: I don’t like Alexa’s chances here.

Tom: I usually try to remain impartial here, but yeah, Alexa is gonna need some divine help if she wants to win this.

Jeannie: I think between the Pantheon and The Innocent, I don’t know if there’s any left to go around.

*She quickly slips into the ring as well, giving a rather cautious look to the outside at the sight of the massive Earnest, who seems to be completely out of things, perhaps only sent out to make sure Rosie doesn't cause too much damage. She turns her attention right back toward Rosie, who gives her a very smug look, cracking her knuckles again, before motioning cockily toward her opponent, Alexa not exactly amused at this, as she flashes a very serious look, slowly shaking her head. Rosie simply waves her off, as the two of them wait for this one to start, both ready to prove their superiority to the rest of the WIG.

Tom: It looks like we’re ready for this match to begin!

*The bell sounds, as Alexa and Rosie walk up to the center of the ring, giving each other a very serious look, before immediately locking up, as Rosie instantly goes for a hammerlock, locking on quite quickly, applying pressure, as Alexa grimaces a bit, indeed feeling this move, but countering with an elbow to the side of the head, going behind for one of her own on Rosie! The woman looks a bit surprised, gritting her teeth, as she swings an elbow of her own, only for Alex to duck under it, countering into an arm drag! Rosie goes sailing across the ring, grasping that arm slightly, as Alexa flashes a smirk, not exactly a slouch in the ring it seems. Rosie shakes the feeling off, charging in again, Alex grabbing for a hip toss, only for Rosie to block it, turning it into one of her own, sending Alexa sailing this time to the mat! She grasps slightly at her back, before rising up, giving a very serious look back to Rosie, who sneers. The two of them step forward once again, locking up once more, as Alexa immediately goes for a standing armbar, putting more pressure on Rosie, who looks on with annoyance, countering by clubbing viciously at Alexa's face, before shoving her off, then driving a knee into her chest! She doubles over, gasping slightly, as Rosie follows up with a few quick clubs across the back, putting Alexa on her knees, before hoisting her up for a quick scoop slam, dropping right across the back! Alexa clutches a bit more, rising back up, as Rosie immediately swings at her with a standing lariat, only for her to duck and grab that arm, countering with a falling armbreaker! Rosie gasps in pain, clutching further at the arm, as Alexa immediately holds it down, quickly stomping across the base of it a bit, then dropping to her knees, tucking herself up into the air, then driving them both into the side of that arm, Rosie instantly rolling outside of the ring now, as the crowd cheers, the woman shaking off the effects of this move, rubbing over that arm, as Alexa simply motions to her from inside the ring, seeming ready for more.

Tom: Whoa! Impressive display there by Alexa!

Jeannie: The match isn’t over yet, Tom!

*Rosie slowly slips back into the ring, walking right up and locking again with Alexa, taking her into a quick arm wrench, following this up with a top wrist lock, as she gives a huge smirk, applying quite a bit pressure as she tries to rip that arm off. Alexa grimaces a bit further, but hits another elbow to the side, before taking Rosie into a arm wrench of her own, then hitting a drop toe hold and floating over, locking in a Fujiwara Armbar! Rosie looks on in shock at the crispness of these moves, quickly making her over toward the ropes and grabbing on, forcing a break, the crowd cheering Alexa, who is definitely showing some chain wrestling skill here. Alexa backs up, letting go of Rosie, who is not very amused with her opponent's smugness. She immediately lunges forward, only for Alexa to snap off another quick arm drag, sending Rosie rolling again. She grasps further at that limb, before charging back in, Alexa grabbing her for another one, only for Rosie to overpower her, pulling her forward instead into a nasty clothesline, sending her down to the mat! Alexa grasps her neck in pain, as Rosie drops down, looking for a cover. 1....2..

Tom: Come On Alexa! Kick Out!

Jeannie: Hey, stay impartial here!

*Alexa kicks out. She starts to rise rather quickly, only to bet met with a fist to the face, sending her stumbling back, as Rosie begins to rain down a series of blows at her face, Alexa wincing a bit from the force, as she backs her off against the ropes, before sending her back off, charging back at her with a clothesline! Alexa however ducks under it, countering it into a quick roll up! 1....2..

Tom: Alexa might win it here!

*Rosie escapes, looking even more annoyed at this, as Alexa rubs slightly at her face, flashing another smirk back at the woman. She seems to have had enough of this, stomping forward again, only for Alexa to lunge out, delivering a vicious knife edge chop across the chest! Rosie gasps slightly, as Alexa unleashes a few more, staggering her opponent slightly at these, backing off the ropes now, then charging in with a running big boot! Rosie however catches her in mid move, hitting a big boot of her own! Alexa goes down hard, as Rosie drops down, looking for another pin, grinding her forearm across King's face while she does. 1....2..

Jeannie: Rosie with another near fall!

*Alexa kicks out. Rosie looks on with annoyance, yanking her up harshly off the mat, delivering a few more nasty clubs across the back, Alexa wincing in pain at these, as she immediately scoops her up, dropping her with a perfect Belly to Back suplex! She grasps again at that back, as Rosie delivers a few quick stomps across the area, following with an elbow drop across it! Alexa grasps further at the area, pushing back to her feet, only for Rosie to stop her in mid rise with a nasty knee to the spine! She doubles over on all fours now, as Rosie sits atop her back, pulling hard on her neck, before leaping up and landing across her back, putting her flat on the canvas. She then drives a boot down, twisting it harshly across that back, as Alexa yelps in pain, eyes going wide, Rosie twisting her foot further into the area. Alexa struggles, trying to push off the mat, managing to do so, knocking Rosie off balance! She quickly gets to her feet though, charging in and driving an elbow right across that back again, stopping Alexa once again, before rolling her over and looking for a pin. 1....2..

Tom: Oh my god! Alexa keeps kicking out!

*Alexa kicks out. Rosie simply pulls her back up, Alexa however fighting this time with a shoulder block to the gut, doubling her opponent over, as she follows up with a headbutt to the face, sending Rosie stumbling back! She quickly whips her off the ropes, grabbing her as she comes back for a Samoan Drop, Rosie however countering with a quick rake to the eyes, stopping Alexa long enough for her to slip behind, driving another knee right into the back, as Alexa winces again, before Rosie hoists her up, dropping her down across a knee with a backbreaker! She grasps further at the area, as Rosie holds her down, now applying a Backbreaker submission, looking to snap King in half across her knee! She yelps in pain, trying to fight out, but Rosie keeps her grip tight, continuing to stretch Alexa across that knee, as she struggles to escape still, soon managing to slip a leg free, kicking Rosie right in the head, loosening her grip slightly, as Alexa rolls off to the side, rubbing desperately at her spine area now. Rosie clutches at her head, as Alexa rises back up, grabbing her by the arm, then charging forward with a bulldog armbreaker! Rosie gasps in pain, feeling the effects instantly, as she grabs again at that arm, Alexa quickly climbing atop for a cover. 1....2...

Tom: This match has been intense so far!

Jeannie: Eventually, one of these pins has got to be the fatal one!

Tom: All these near falls have definitely led to an exciting match!

*Rosie kicks out. Alexa grabs her by the arm, pulling her back to both feet, then hitting another quick arm wrench, going right into a hammerlock, Rosie cringing even more, feeling the pressure on her arm, Alexa now grabbing that other arm and pulling back, taking Rosie into a Tiger Suplex! She bridges for the pin! 1....2....

Tom: How was that not it?

Jeannie: These women have been so awesome tonight, it almost makes me want to step back into the ring!

*Rosie escapes. Alexa grasps a bit more at that back, as Rosie groans on the mat, slowly pushing to her feet, as Alexa sees this, immediately springing up, then coming off the ropes, delivering a successful running big boot to the face, sending her back down in a heap! Rosie groans, holding her face, as Alexa rubs a bit more, before positioning herself now, waiting for Rosie to rise once again, now charging full speed for a Shining Wizard! Rosie however catches her in mid move, hoisting her high, then slamming her back down with a vicious spinebuster! Alexa yelps again in pain, as Rosie looks for the cover. 1....2....

Tom: Is this it?

*NO! Alexa gets the shoulder up. Rosie looks quite annoyed, as she yanks Alexa up in a bear hug, charging forward now and slamming her right into the nearby turnbuckle, Alexa gasping further in pain, as Rosie immediately lets loose a quick series of shoulder blocks, pressing Alexa further back against the turnbuckle with each one, before backing up, charging for a big boot, only for Alexa to get a foot up, sending Rosie charging right into it, as she stumbles back a bit dazed, Alexa then grabbing her by the arm, leaping off the turnbuckle, hitting something similar to a Tornado Armbreaker! Rosie yelps in pain, eyes going wide, as Alexa groans, crawling atop for a cover now. 1....2.....3

Tom: This match has to be over!

Jeannie: Can Alexa do it?

*NO! Rosie manages to get a shoulder up. Alexa looks on in shock, as she immediately gets to her feet, clutching again at that back. She slowly pushes to her feet, as Rosie rises up after, grasping desperately at her arm, looking absolutely pissed off now, looking right at Alexa, charging full speed, only for Alexa to leap over her, then catch her as she comes back with a Bridging Fallaway slam! She goes for another pin! 1....2.....

Tom: Alexa going for the win again!

Jeannie: Is this it?

*NO! Rosie escapes again, as Alexa grasps even more at that back, but fights through the pain, yanking Rosie off the mat, only to get a rake across the eyes, as Rosie slips behind her, pulling her down hard across the knee for a snap backbreaker, Alexa yelping in pain, as Rosie then hoisting her up into a Flapjack, letting her land across the knee for a following gut buster! Alexa hunches over in pain, as Rosie grabs her around the neck, pulling her into an immediate Hangman's Neckbreaker! Alexa lands in heap, as Rosie angrily covers her, pressing a forearm vicious right into that face. 1....2.....3

Jeannie: Rosie going for a pin attempt of her own.

*NO! Alexa gets the shoulder up again. Rosie can't believe this. She immediately drops on her back, grabbing Alexa's arm, looking to finish things up with the Fury Grasp. Alexa however resists, trying to keep her from being able to put this hold on. She struggles desperately, even clubbing across Rosie's arms with her free one, as the woman acks, stopping briefly, Alexa then bridging up, locking her legs around Rosie's neck, pulling her into a pinning combination! 1.....2.....3

Tom: Ok, this has got to be it!

*STILL NO! Rosie manages to escape at the last second. She looks absolutely furious now, rising back to her feet, grasping desperately at that arm of her's, as she yanks Alexa up by the head, hoisting her up for a backbreaker once again, only for to quickly elbow free, then dropping behind and countering into a German Suplex! She holds desperately for the cover! 1....2.....3
Tom: Rosie may have her here!

Jeannie: We may be seconds away from a winner!

*But she can't hold her, the pain in her back too much, as she drops down. grasping desperately. Rosie rises to her feet slowly, as Alexa lays on the mat, trying to recover. She manages to shake off the effects of this move, pulling Alexa up with one arm, then using her good one to deliver a brutal lariat, turning Alexa inside out! She lands in a heap, as Rosie looks absolutely pissed now, dropping down and immediately locking in the Fury Grasp, pulling hard with this move, also tugging Alexa away from the ropes as she does. Alexa yelps in pain, holding out as long as she can, Rosie noticing this and immediately adding a few blatant shots to the head, doing further damage. Eventually Alexa can't take anymore and taps out.

Tom: That’s it!

Finkel: Your winner of the match by submission, Rosie!

Jeannie: What a match!

Tom: After all the pinfall attempts, a submission is what wins it.

*Rosie rises up off the mat, grasping further at that arm, as she looks back down at Alexa's prone body, a very satisfied sneer on her horrifying face. She leans down, delivering a cocky smack across the face, before leaning back up and laughing quite loudly, very proud of her victory here, though King definitely put up a very tough fight.

Jeannie: Rosie may have won the match, but she doesn’t look like a winner.

Tom: In matches like these, its more about survival. Alexa put up a helluva fight, but it wasn’t enough. I hope these two meet sometime again.

*Rosie quickly slips out of the ring, as Earnest looks at her on the outside, slowly shaking his head. She ignores him, slipping right past the big man, as the two Innocent members swiftly exit to the back. Alexa soon after rises up, just in time to receive a small ovation from the crowd, who is indeed happy with her efforts in this match. She gives them a reluctant look, clutching again at her back, as she exits to the back herself.

[James E. Colvin]

Howard Finkel: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Richmond, Virginia, he weighed in this morning at approximately two hundred and fifty-two pounds...Hardcore Hensley!

Hensley bursts through the curtains, his arms raised high. He pounds upon his chest, and bounces around before sprinting down the ramp. He slides in, and taunts from a couple of corners then retires to his corner, still bobbing about.

Tom Bailey: What an interesting match-up this one is set to be.

Jeannie Lawless: Quite, these guys size up very well together.

March to the Scaffold starts up on the Colvintron

Finkel: And his opponent... representing the Innocent, from the land of Purity, weighing in at two-hundred and twenty seven pounds, Joshua!

The entrance ramp becomes bathed once again in a golden light, as the man known as Joshua emerges from the back, both of his allies nowhere to be seen. Hensley immediately eyes him with a very focused expression, determined to beat him just like he did Earnest. The young man quickly enters the ring, stepping through the ropes, then making his way to the center of the ring, arms folded behind his back. Hensley slowly approaches him from the other side of the ring, as the bell sounds, signifying the start of this match. However before things get started, Joshua extends a handshake offer to Hensley, who raises an eyebrow, but decides to accept.

Bailey: Good showmanship from the mysterious man.

Lawless: That's just creepy.

They measure one another up to begin. Joshua seems to offer a lockup, but when Hensley goes, he quickly drop kicks him on his knee. Hensley drops down, and Joshua plants him with a standing axe kick. Joshua rolls him back over, and eagerly tries for the pin.

1...

2-

Bailey: Noway, it's gonna take a lot more than that to put "The Hardcore One" away.

Lawless: If you say so.

Hensley kicks out barely after two. Joshua stays on the offensive though, and bounds off for the ropes. Hensley moves over though, and Joshua jumps him on the rebound. Hensley springs up to his feet, and leapfrogs him on his second return. The third time, Hensley falls backwards, wanting a monkey flip. Joshua halts his progress though, and snatches both of Hensley's feet. He yanks them back then drops each leg with one of his own, splitting them. He holds it momentarily, stretching the tendons in Hensley's back aggressively. Hensley evasively rolls out of dodge as soon as he breaks the hold, but into a corner. Joshua rushes him, performing a back handspring that bewilders Hensley, who ends up eating his foot again with another kick. Dazed, Hensley remains in the corner. Joshua leaps up, and connects perfectly with an enzuigiri that practically knocks his opponent out. He drags him to the center of the ring, and rolls him again for another pin attempt.

1...

2...





No.

Bailey: The Innocent's ringleader is doing a number on Hensley with his feet.

Lawless: Yeah, I'm sure Hensley's used to getting slapped across his face, but these kicks gotta being an entirely different world!

Bailey: Oh, gee, do you only work Sundays.

Lawless: No, whenever Vindication runs too.

Hensley kicks out this time well before three, but is obviously out of his game. Still, Joshua shows no frustration, and looks to stay on the offensive. He pulls Hensley up to his feet, and takes off for the ropes. Before Hensley can even acknowledge where he's at, Joshua kills him with a leg lariat. The crowd's reaction says it all, and when Hensley gets back up, blood is running down from his nose. Joshua rushes him again though, and catches him with a snap suplex. He returns to his feet almost instantly, bringing Hensley with him, and hooks him with a Russian leg sweep. The back of Hensley's head ricochets off of the mat violently, and Joshua covers him again.

1...





2...










3-NO!

Bailey: Another close-call for Hensley.

Lawless: He's got some kinda luck.

Bailey: He is part-Irish!

Lawless: Of course.

Hensley narrowly escapes while Joshua still shows no emotions. He pulls Hensley up, and arm drags him then locks his arm into a submission hold. He applies as much pressure as possible, hoping to break Hensley's arm it would seem. Valiantly though, Hensley fights back. He makes it back up to one knee, but Joshua breaks the hold, and sends for the ropes. He comes from behind Hensley, trying for a chop block of sorts, but Hensley back flips over him in an unbelievable visual. Hensley charges, but Joshua gets him with a hip toss that sticks him back in the driver's seat. While Hensley grimaces at his back, Joshua comes up, flies into the air then drops his leg down hard across Hensley's injured nose. Joshua stares down his opposition briefly, shaking his head then hooks his leg.

1...





2...










3-NO!

Bailey: Had Joshua been a little quicker to cover there, he might have just gotten the W.

Lawless: Well, like me, I bet he figured Hensley's luck had finally ran out.

Bailey: In which case, both of you would have been wrong.

Lawless: Whatever.

Lost, Joshua chooses to rest for a moment. Hensley's now eaten the majority of his offense, yet he stays alive. He decides to finish him, and pulls him up once again. Groggy, Hensley can barely keep himself up. Joshua eyes him carefully then goes for a jumping roundhouse kick aimed square at Hensley's chest, the first of three leading to his Soul Cleanser finishing maneuver. Luckily, Hensley proves to be playing possum only, and catches him. Joshua attempts to use his other leg, but Hensley ducks that as well. Joshua brings his leg back again, but Hensley evades it, and palms his chest. Displaying his amazing strength, he lifts Joshua up, races him across the ring then slams him down hard onto the canvas. They both are laid out with Hensley trying to regain his composure while Joshua doesn't exactly know where he's at. Hensley's fans rile for him to take control. Slowly, he reaches his feet. Joshua does so too, and tries to takes after Hensley instantly. Hensley's ready though, and greets him with a trio of his own stiff kicks. The final of the three actually propels Joshua over the top rope to the outside. He lands on his feet, but grabs his ribcage in agony. Meanwhile, Hensley stands re-energized in the ring, and roars at the top of his lungs, igniting his fans. He springs up to the top rope, and bounces off, executing a shooting star press. He wipes out Joshua on the floor, but they both crash and burn. As they both lay sprawled out, the fans on their feet, the referee's mandatory ten count is initiated.

Bailey: These fans are on their feet! Listen to them!

Lawless: What?

1...

2...

3...

4...

Hensley crawls up to his feet.

5...

6...

Joshua uses the apron for leverage to get to his feet.

7...

Joshua slides in, but Hensley rips him back out, restarting the count. It's delayed as the ref orders them back inside, to no avail of course. Hensley Irish whips Joshua directly into the steel ring steps, knocking them over. He goes over, and yanks Joshua up. He slings his arm over his shoulder, and gorilla presses him into the air to the astonishment of the crowd. He military presses him twice then drops his head onto the guardrail. Huffing and puffing, he catches his breath before sliding in and out again to restart the count another time. Hensley tugs Joshua around the ring by his blonde hair, barking at him in the process. He brings him over to the announce team's table, and bashes his head off of it. Anger filling him, he removes the table's covering, and one of the video monitors then uses one of the wires to choke Joshua. The ref ceases with his ten count, and starts a five to disqualify Hensley. Devilishly, Hensley holds it until four. The ref points a finger at him, but Hensley just shrugs him off with a smirk. Finally, he rolls Joshua back in to the delight of the ref, and climbs up onto the apron. He prepares himself while Joshua attempts to find out where he's at. When Joshua's up to his feet, and facing him, Hensley flies off and gets Joshua with a diving somersault neckbreaker, better known to wrestling fans as the Buff Blockbuster. Hensley wows once again, and covers Joshua, hooking his leg, and raking his forearm across his face for good measure.

1...










2...















3





NO!

Bailey: He did it-

Lawless: No he didn't!

Bailey: Damn, what a near fall!

Lawless: Hensley should have known better than to use Buff Bagwell's finisher!

Joshua somehow manages to kick out as the ref's hand was just a matter of centimeters away. Hensley punches the air in frustration, running his fingers over his bold head. He glances back over at Joshua, snarling, and gets up to his feet. He hoists Joshua up over his shoulder, and ascends the nearest turnbuckle. Hensley goes to sit him down, but Joshua strikes him in his midsection. Using his feet, he knocks Hensley back down. Hensley makes it back up to his feet, but keels over, still in pain at his gut. Sighting a golden opportunity, Joshua leaps off, and sticks Hensley with an axe kick from the top rope. The W*I*G Sphere implodes, and Joshua rolls Hensley over. He hooks his leg, and returns the favor by raking his own forearm across his face.

1...










2...




















3!










NO!

Bailey: Whoa, I thought he had him there!

Lawless: Only in my dreams.

Hensley's arm shoots up at the last possible second, hyping the crowd that much more. Hensley takes in all the oxygen he can as Joshua simply stares on obliviously, almost in shock. Still, without showing frustration, he turns back to Hensley. He pulls him up to his feet, but Hensley's too gone to stay, and he has to lean him into a corner. Joshua goes to the opposing corner, and sprints towards Hensley. He tries for a moonsault kick, but there's nobody home as Hensley clings onto the ropes at his side. Joshua turns to him, but Hensley has a superkick awaiting him. He nearly kicks Joshua's head off of his shoulders with it as the man falls against the ropes. He slides down, slouched, with his head spinning. Hensley shakes everything off, and throws Joshua up over his shoulders again. He carries him out a bit then goes for a Samoan driver. Joshua wiggles free though, and shoves Hensley off to the ropes. When he comes back, Joshua tries his jumping roundhouse kick from before, but in true Matrix fashion, Hensley avoids it. He comes back up, shoving Joshua off to the other end's ropes. On his return, he scoops him up, and destroys him with a Death Valley driver, all in one smooth motion. His fans cry out, but Hensley's unable to make the cover as he lays spread eagle, trying to catch his breath some more.

Joshua slowly begins to rise up off the mat, now clutching at his neck, staggering to his feet, as soon enough, Hensley begins to follow him, the two soon meeting face to face, as Hensley snaps off a vicious kick to the side, Joshua staggering back a bit, but returning one of his own, sending Hensley stumbling back. The two quickly began to fire off a flurry of feet, both men desperate to take the advantage once again. Joshua quickly aims a high roundhouse at hensley's face, who manages to duck underneath, taking Joshua off his feet with a desperation spear, sending them both them back down to the mat! Joshua grasps slightly at his chest, as Hensley climbs atop for a cover.

1






2






3!






STILL NO!

Bailey: Spear, spear, spear, but no!

Lawless: Phew!

Bailey: These men are leaving it all out in that ring tonight!

Joshua manages to get his own shoulder up, as Hensley pushes back to his feet, signaling for the end once again, as he quickly makes his way to the top rope, positioning himself, when suddenly, Joshua rises up, running over desperately, then springing off the turnbuckle, hitting Hensley in the back of the head with a desperation enziguri! He crashes back down to the mat, as Hensley grasps the back of his own head, plummeting back to the canvas himself. Joshua rises up slowly, clutching further at the chest, as he now looks down at Hensley on the mat, grasping still at the back of his head. He reaches down, pulling Hensley to his feet now, as he runs off the ropes, coming back and taking him down to the mat with a Famouser, planting him once again into the canvas, Hensley grasping at his neck in pain, as Joshua pulls him over, turning him around and hooking the leg, looking for the cover.

1








2









3!





STILL NO!

Bailey: Hensley's neck will never feel the same again, I can assure you!

Lawless: His has taken one helluva ass whipping!

Bailey: Yes, yet he still stands!

Lawless: This is what you call standing?

Hensley pushes up once again with all the strength he can muster. Joshua looks quite surprised at this, but remains calm, as he backs up, focusing intently now, as Hensley pushes back to his feet once more, starting to get a bit weaker, as he staggers forward, Joshua immediately leaping up and looking for the Soul Cleanser, but Hensley catches him between the legs, planting him with a brutal sit-out powerbomb, Joshua looking wide eyed in pain, as Hensley slowly rises back to his feet once again, as he pulls him up by the neck, setting him up for the Pizza Cutta, as he charges forward, only for Joshua to shove him off at the last second, then catch him with a second Soul Cleanser attempt, stopping Hensley dead in his tracks, busting his nose wide open, then sending him down hard to the canvas. He immediately falls atop, looking for the pin.

1









2









3!





It's over.

Bailey: Joshua did it, he did it, the Innocent win!

Lawless: Hallelujah!

Finkel: Here is your winner... Joshua!

Joshua slowly rises up to his feet, grasping at his form in pain, as Hensley clutches at his head, rolling around slowly along the mat, as the referee raises Joshua's hand in victory, who seems to be quite worn down from that brutal match. The young man slowly backs up and away, clutching further at his own ribs, as he looks down, a rather content look once again across his face, as he backs off, exiting the ring. Hensley soon makes his way to his feet, grasping desperately at that nose of his, which may have been broken by that last move.

Bailey: Hensley gave it his all, and I thought he had him, but it just wasn't to be.

Lawless: Yeah, yeah, too bad, so sad. Let's get on with the rest of the show already!

*The On-screen graphic appears, with the two silhouettes and pictures of Coltrane and Exner. One of the two remaining silhouettes is replaced by a picture of Joshua.

[James E. Colvin]

Finkel: The following match is scheduled for one fall, with a twenty minute time limit, and is a contendership match--the winner will be entered into a future match for the W*I*G World Championship!

*“Living for the Weekend” by Hard-Fi starts pumping out of the Colvintron, the crowd booing at the sound of this, as the man known as Jason Hereford steps out from the back, a rather uncaring look on his face, hidden by his cracked pink shades, and pointing an arm toward the sky. He starts strutting down toward the rampway, having a few choice words with any fans that he gets close enough to. His stride permeates swagger, boasting of former greatness--or at least opulence.*

Finkel: Introducing first, from San Diego, California, weighing in at 221 pounds...Jason Hereford!

Bailey: Here comes the ever-confident Jason Hereford.

Lawless: He seems a bit too confident to be facing who he's facing tonight--he's got something up his tattered, unwashed sleeve, I just know it!

Bailey: The crowd certainly wants to see Chaz Stone wipe that smile off his face.

*Jason quickly steps up the steel stairs outside the ring, making his way onto the apron and flashing a bit of a smirk, though almost tripping as he enters the ring, to the amusement of the fans, Hereford quickly covering this up and continuing his way toward the corner of the ring, ascending to the top and giving a confident grin to the audience, who boo in reply. He then hops down, turning around and waiting for his opponent. He won't have to wait long, as the sound of bagpipes fills the air in the arena while the lights dim, turning to light blue and white spotlights that search the arena. They all focus on the ramp. The bagpipes fade out, yielding to Alice Cooper's "School's Out", which blares as Chaz parts the curtain with force and stands at the ramp, working his hands against each other, then lifting a fist. The crowd lights up for him as he jokes and jabbers with the male fans and flirts with the female fans as he walks the aisle. He then slides into the ring head-first, a look of relaxed confidence for the fans--and a glare to his opponent. He stands up and pulls off his kilt, folding it quickly and stashing it in the corner before preparing for the match ahead with a few last-minute stretches.*

Finkel: And from Seattle, Washington, by way of Edinburgh, Scotland, weighing in tonight at 20.2 stone...CHAZ STONE!

Bailey: With all of his opponents so far in W*I*G outweighing him greatly, this match may actually serve as a reprieve for the big Scotsman.

Lawless: I don't think so. Hereford's got the edge on him in ring experience, and that counts for a lot.

Bailey: Yes, but the question is, will that be enough to get Jason Hereford a win tonight?

Lawless: I personally don't care--I just want to see these two handsome men rip their shirts off and get sweaty already!

Bailey: You are impossible.

*The two men give each other a bit of a staredown, each daring the other to jump the bell and start this fight. The ref hurriedly signals for the bell once both men are in the ring.*

Bailey: This match is underway!

*The two men continue to stare each other down, jabbering back and forth things that can't be picked up by the mic--and it's likely best they're not. They grapple a few times, with Chaz shoving Jason off rather nonchalantly. Suddenly, Jason charges his opponent, but Chaz sidesteps him, letting him crash into the turnbuckle. He turns in the corner, but Chaz peppers him with a series of body blows, ending with a backpedal and a charging yakuza kick in the corner. Chaz hauls the smaller man up to his feet by his head and sends him across the ring with a beal toss. Chaz goes for a quick pin, but after a one count, Jason scrambles out of the ring to recuperate, while Chaz shrugs a bit and smiles, getting a good reaction from the crowd.*

Bailey: Right out the gate, Hereford's getting his receipt for interfering in Chaz's match against Earnest last week.

Lawless: Chaz is all over him right now! This is going to be a quick match at this rate!

Bailey: Hereford's outside catching his breath, he really needs to rethink his gameplan now. Chaz is just waiting for him in the corner, giving him all the time he needs.

*Jason slides back into the ring cautiously. Chaz lets him do so without interference. The two men square off again, this time circling each other. Jason does a textbook shot on Chaz. The big Scot, showing a bit of familiarity with the amateur style, sprawls out his legs and flattens him. The smaller Jason, however, picks an arm and deftly applies a hammerlock. Though his arm is wrenched hard, Chaz gets to his knees. Jason then locks in a sleeper to slow the big man down a bit. Chaz is not interested in dropping off yet, however, and as he gets to his feet, Jason releases the hold, knowing the weight difference could see him squished easily if given the chance. He instead stomps at the back of Chaz's leg, dropping him to one knee. This he follows up by bouncing off the ropes and driving his knee into the redhead's face. He then takes the downed man and applies his patented Billhook.*

Bailey: Jason Hereford locked in that deadly Billhook, going for the quick submission!

Lawless: Chaz is a lovely sight, but not the best technician. How's he going to get out of this?

Bailey: *As Chaz breaks the hold with a hard fist to the sternum.* Well, that's not fancy, but it did the trick. Both men stand up easily after that, but the ref warns Chaz about the closed fist he used to break it.

Lawless: Y'know, I don't understand why federations still enforce that rule. It's a stupid fossil from the NWA days, and the business has changed a lot since then, so why keep that archaic law in every rulebook?

Bailey: That restriction is one of the things that separates pro wrestling from other fighting sports--one of the things that keeps it a display of superior technicality.

Lawless: Yes, because deathmatch tournaments and modern televised wrestling are SO technical.

Bailey: That's what we're here for--besides, the match is still going on!

Lawless: It is, and the handsome one is winning! Let's watch!

Bailey: Yes, let's do that.

*While this stimulating discourse on the ramipercussions of the historical evolution from catch-as-catch-can to modern-day sports entertainment has been taking place, Chaz has been in full control of his opponent. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and a Boston crab gave him this advantage, but when Jason got a rope break from the submission hold, Chaz forcefully yanked him off the ropes and started swinging him around by his legs as if he were qualifying for the hammer toss back home, which catches us up to the match. Chaz releases Jason at full speed, sending him sprawling across the ring. Chaz waits for Jason to rise again, then charges at him full speed. Jason counters with a drop toe hold on the big man, then turns it into an Indian deathlock.*

Bailey: Jason still trying to keep the big man down, going after the legs again.

Lawless: This has been a good match so far, I'll admit it. I thought it was just going to be eye candy in the ring for me, but these two can really work!

Bailey: That's what they're paid for, Jeannie. They're professional wrestlers, not WWE Divas.

*Jason drops back one last time for the deathlock, when Chaz catches him in a lying-down necklock. Jason shuffles over to the ropes, getting the rope break, and both men get to their feet to a hot crowd. Jason locks in a double underhook hold, but Chaz quickly pops up and chucks him with a back body drop. Jason gets up quickly, catching a toe kick from the big man and turning it into a dragon screw. Jason goes for the pinfall, but barely gets two before Chaz benchpresses him off his chest. Chaz swings around and drops his big leg on the back of Jason's head and neck. Chaz applies a front neck lock and drags Jason to his feet, then lifting him for a suplex. He keeps Jason in the air for about twenty seconds, touring the ring and checking an imaginary watch for time before dropping him with force.*

Bailey: What power from the big Scotsman! He's back in the driver's seat!

Lawless: We already knew he was strong, Tom, but not this strong. I'm impressed.

Bailey: No big surprise there.

Lawless: What was that?

Bailey: Nothing, nothing at all.

*Chaz, with his opponent downed, climbs up the nearest turnbuckle for Hail St. Andrew. Jason rouses in time to leap up and gouge Chaz's eyes; this break in Chaz's concentration allows Jason to rain down a few knuckle arrows upon the Scot's brow before locking in a front facelock. He tries for the superplex, but Chaz blocks with his leg and responds with a stiff-sounding headbutt. He then drops off the turnbuckle and cradles Hereford's feet in his hands. Then, hearkening back to his days in Highlander competitions, he took off running at full tilt, screaming like a madman, with the dazed man in tow. A pace before the ropes, Chaz HEAVES the smaller man out of the ring with all his might--and it's quite a lot of heft, to be honest. After two and a half rotations in the air, Jason comes crashing down onto the barricade, flopping into the front row after that. Chaz celebrates the big move as the crowd explodes.*

Chaz: *A fist raised* ALBA GU BRATH!

Bailey: Hereford might be broken in half after that! Someone get a spatula and scrape him up!

Lawless: Oh geez! Someone needs to go tend to him! I'll do it—

Bailey: Sit down, Jeannie.

Lawless: You're no fun...

*The referee leans his head between the top and middle ropes and prepares to count, but Chaz hops out of the ring and walks towards the still-downed Jason Hereford. Hereford doesn’t even stir, Stone advancing and climbing over the barricade to grab a hold of Jason and haul him back into the ring. Chaz grabs him by his greasy, matted hair and slams his face right into the barricade, much to the delight of a number of the fans. Jason’s head bounces off as he ricochets back into the crowd, but Chaz Stone grabs him again and repeats the process a few times, until he hears the referee’s count…*

…FIVE!

*Not interested in wasting any more time, Chaz tosses Jason back over the barricade and picks him up, delivering a few heavy punches and rolling him into the ring. Once inside, Chaz notices that Jason is limp and still shows no signs of movement.*

Bailey: I think he KO’d Jason Hereford, but the referee isn’t calling for the bell just yet.

*Stone grabs Jason Hereford and picks up the motionless bum, putting him in a suplex position and hoisting him high up in the air. He starts to spin him around a little bit, with Jason’s legs still pointing up in the air.*

Lawless: I think he’s—

Bailey: GOING FOR THE EMERALD CITY CRASH!

*Chaz is turns him around, but all of a sudden he starts to feel Jason’s weight shifting before he can drop him and finish him off. Hereford rocks back and forth upside-down, before getting enough momentum to pull himself free and land directly behind Chaz. Chaz attempts to turn around but before he can really assess the situation, Jason Hereford delivers a chop block that knocks him off of his feet. He lands on one knee, and the still slightly dazed Jason Hereford runs to the ropes, before bouncing back, lifting a knee up and striking Chaz Stone square in the jaw—enough to knock him onto his back.*

Lawless: What did he just do?!

Bailey: Apparently, Jason Hereford knows how to play possum, and right there he played it at the right time and right place, to his credit… *rolls eyes*

*Hereford, shaking the cobwebs out of his head and rubbing the pain out of his back somewhat, opts to continue his attack and spreads the legs of Chaz Stone apart slightly. Jason stomps the right leg first, then the left, then the right again, then the left again. He then stomps the right three more times and the left three more times, with an extra-big stomp to the left to complete his Ten Stomps of Pain. Jason grabs the left to attack it some more, bending it at an angle and dropping his own knee in, and then twisting away. Chaz bites his lower lip and tries to pull away, the referee keeping his eyes fixated on the two to make sure no illegal exchanges are made.*

Bailey: Jason Hereford is trying to press that newfound advantage, and it seems he’s keeping the big Scot’s legs a constant target.

*Jason keeps the knee lock wrenched in, cinching it more and more. But Stone throws a few heavy punches that not only force him to release the hold, but back off somewhat and shake those shots off. Jason rubs the side of his head, his eyes looking down to the mat. In an instant, Chaz Stone pulls himself up to his feet and charges full-steam at Jason Hereford, ramming him over with a huge spear!*

Bailey: And that’s not saying Chaz Stone isn’t attacking a specific body part either! If Chaz keeps that up, he’ll have Hereford split into numerous, teeny-tiny bits in no time.

*Chaz’s legs are in a bit of pain from earlier, and it’s getting to him. He winces as he takes a step trying to get up to his feet, but as it is, decides he may as well go for the pin.*

1!





2!





KICKOUT!

Lawless: Yay, these two hotties are still in it!

Bailey: But on a more serious note, Chaz Stone hasn’t been able to take Jason Hereford out yet! If neither can finish the other off anytime soon, then we may very well see this match end up being determined just by who has the sheer stamina and willpower to keep it up!

*Chaz sighs in frustration. He hauls himself up to his feet and grabs Jason, hitting him in the head with a few punches and sending him in reeling. To follow up, he delivers a strong Irish whip that forces Jason Hereford in an opposite corner, buckling into it and slumping over. Thinking on impulse, Chaz charges toward the corner, landing a Yakuza kick once again; one that nearly sends Jason out of the very ring! Jason keels over after bouncing back, only to be grabbed and hit with a heavy vertical suplex!*

Bailey: There we go Chaz! That Yakuza kick may have very well been more devastating than the previous one, and that suplex continues to pile on the damage to the weakening body of Jason Hereford! And it looks like Chaz is going for the pin once again!

1!




2!




3—NO, KICKOUT!

*Chaz is getting even more frustrated than before, and his strained legs aren’t helping matters at all. As it would seem, the half-unconscious Jason Hereford is still a ways from critical mass, and while Chaz is still in good condition, unless he can get a KO victory, for the moment it’s a stalemate. Once again does Chaz Stone pick up Jason Hereford, whipping into the ropes. Jason strains to breathe, rebounding as the Scot throws an elbow. Jason ducks it, coming back off the ropes again. The referee passes awfully close to the two, and this time, as Chaz goes for a lariat, Jason turns his angle towards he referee, tripping him and using him as a shield—getting caught between Jason Hereford and Chaz Stone’s lariat, the referee gets clobbered and crumples to the mat.*

Bailey: What a filthy tactic of desperation from Jason Hereford!

Lawless: I know; it’s so beautiful isn’t it?

*Jason tumbles to the mat to avoid the follow-through. Chaz is distraught at the situation as it is, but that doesn’t stop him from piling on the pressure. He rushes towards Jason Hereford, who slides back up to his feet and puts is left hand in his pants, pulling it back out. Chaz is only a few feet away, but suddenly something comes into contact with both of his eyes, causing him to stagger backwards and cover his face. Jason dusts his hands off, a whitish grain falling down to the mat. The referee slowly picks himself up. Hereford turns towards Stone, kicking the disoriented Scot in the gut. Stone doubles over, and Hereford applies a front face lock to deliver his Bodkin Facebuster! The referee gets up to his feet, and turning around, notices Jason Hereford covering Chaz Stone. The ref quickly ducks down and counts the pin.*

1!




2!




KICKOUT!

Bailey: That’s great, I’d REALLY hate to see the match end under circumstances like those we just saw!

Lawless: For once there, I agree with you!

*Jason Hereford slaps the mat in anger, clenching his teeth. Hereford once again goes for the legs, stomping and pulling away, but Chaz Stone is able to kick him away for a moment. The big Scotsman scrambles to his feet, and seeing Jason Hereford charging at him, simply grabs him and delivers a huge side slam that causes the mat itself to shake.*

Stone: ALBA…GU…BRATH!

Bailey: Seems like that dirty attack on the part of Jason Hereford was, quite simply, all for nothing—Chaz Stone has taken control of this thing ONCE AGAIN, and it’s looking pretty good for him.

*Chaz has the match to his advantage, and hoists Jason up in position for an Edinburgh Crush. Lifting him up, Chaz suddenly feels his legs began to tremble, and Jason Hereford once more is able to shift his weight to his advantage. Stone loses his grip, but also strides towards the ropes. Jason slips out but lands on his back on the outside, groaning in pain. Chaz opts to take a breather, and as he and the referee go to glance outside of the ring and take a look at Jason Hereford, it would seem that Jason has slipped under the ring. The referee bows over, but Chaz doesn’t dare keep himself so open, and backs into the middle of the ring, keeping an eye and pivoting around to ensure that Hereford doesn’t ambush him. The referee turns to go to another side of the ring, but from behind, on the opposite outside part of the ring, Hereford emerges with a sly grin.*

Bailey: Oh no, I don’t like that look…

*He seems to be clutching something, and as soon as the ref leans over another side, he slides in and makes a beeline for the referee. Chaz spots him and realizes his intentions. Stone goes to try to stop him, but Hereford is too quick, nailing the referee from behind with an elbow and sending him down…AGAIN. With the referee down, Jason brandishes his weapon of choice…a lead pipe. He takes a swing at the head of Chaz, but misses as the Scot sidesteps it. With Stone otherwise open, Hereford takes a kick at the legs. Once again, Chaz is able to defend, but as the ref gets up once more, Jason is able to land two solid hits in the stomach with the pipe. Chaz grabs his gut and heaves over. As the referee starts to turn around, Jason rolls the pipe out of the ring and slides Stone’s head between his legs, and hooks the arms, lifting him up and hitting him with the Dead End Driver. Quickly, Hereford covers up. The referee, now recuperated, goes to his knees and counts.*

1!




2!




3!

DING DING DING!

Bailey: NO! NO! NO! NO!

Lawless: Well, I guess it had to end eventually…

“Living for the Weekend” picks up as Jason throws his arms up, smiling genuinely as everyone in the crowd boos him.*

Finkel: HERE IS YOUR WINNER…AND CONTENDER FOR THE W*I*G WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP…JASON HEREFORD!

Bailey: Ugh, and Charles Stone was SO close to getting there, but Jason Hereford had to repeatedly resort to poor tactics to pull it off…and now he’s a contender and there’s nothing to do about it!

*Jason continues to celebrate until Chaz Stone gets to his knees, his face red and his teeth clenched. Immediately does Hereford retreat, leaping out of the ring, grabbing his gear and bolts off, running up the ramp as his music continues. At the stage, he raises his arms once more and points towards Stone, taunting him. Chaz, leaning over the ropes and glaring at Hereford, throws an angry, inaudible few words back at him…*

Bailey: Jason Hereford may have won this one, but I doubt Chaz Stone is going to let him off the hook in the forseeable future…

*The On-screen graphic appears, with one remaining silhouette and pictures of Coltrane, Exner, and Joshua. The one remaining silhouette is replaced by a picture of Hereford. Suddenly, the picture of Coltrane is replaced by a silhouette.

[James E. Colvin]

*We come back to the W*I*G arena, and we’re taken to the announce table.

Tom: Some of our matches tonight have been about title aspirations.

Jeannie: And some have been about pride.

Tom: The following match is definitely the later of these two.

Jeannie: Yes, about a month ago, veteran Andy Duke and newcomer Vin Beverly fought in a singles match on our weekly television show W*I*G Vindication which ended in controversy.

Tom: We have a tape of the finish of that match that we would like to show you, just incase you missed it before.

*A video package is played, showing brief highlights of their match, including Vin Beverly knocking Andy Duke out with a botched VB Special.

Tom: As you can see, the finish was a little odd and definitely unexpected.

Jeannie: And since then, Andy has wanted nothing more than to step into the ring with Vin, in an attempt to avenge that loss.

Tom: This match is also a little different than usual, in that these two guys really have no bad blood between the two of them. Any disdain the two might seem to show stems from competition. Its not like other matches where the competitors are out for blood.

Jeannie: Indeed. But it could spill over into hatred any minute. Vin has made some passes at Andy’s manager Alexa King, and you know that can’t sit well with Andy.

Tom: Indeed it can’t. It will all depend on the match dynamic here. This whole issue could be resolved tonight, or it could start a whole new issue. I’ll be interested to see it.

Jeannie: I as well.

Tom: We also were able to catch up with both men before this match, and each had a few words to say. We’ll share those during their entrances.

Jeannie: It was definitely interesting to here what each man had to say.

Tom: Lets go out to the Fink!

Howard Finkel: The following match is a singles match scheduled for one fall and it has a 60 minute time limit. Our first competitor…..

* “The Island” By The Decemberists plays over the sound system.

Fink: From Panama City, Florida, weighing in at 255 pounds…he is Vin Beverly!

*Vin cockily walks out to the ring, checking out a few of the more attractive women in the front row. On his way to the ring, a small box appears on the screen. It is the aforementioned pre-match interview.

Vin(in the Picture-in-Picture box): I don’t know what the big hubbub is. I just went out there and did my best to win the match. Yeah, it didn’t finish like I would have liked it to, but the bottom line is I won, he lost, and now I’m getting flack for it. So tonight, I’ll go out there, I’ll win again, and finally hush the skeptics. And Alexa, after I do win, if you want to offer your managerial services to not only a winner, but a real man as well, I’ll be staying at the Ritz. Room 111. I’ll be sure to let you in.

Tom: Vin, always the showman. But maybe his ego and cockiness will get the better of him.

Jeannie: After saying those things, I don’t if I’d want to be Vin Beverly right now. But he obviously seems to know what he’s getting himself into.

Fink: And his opponent….

* “Date With the Night” by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs plays over the sound system.

Fink: Representing The King’s Court and being accompanied to the ring by Alexa King, from Chewelah, Washington, weighing in at 227 pounds……Andy DUUUUUUUKE!

*Andy and Alexa walk out. Alexa is still nursing her wounds from her match earlier with Rosie. Duke doesn’t look particularly angry, but definitely focused.

Jeannie: I know I may have said some bad things about Alexa before, but it shows a lot of moxie to come down to ringside to support Andy after her hellish match earlier tonight.

Tom: Indeed. But I wonder if that’s the only reason she came down here.

Jeannie: Your not thinking…you’re crazy Tom.

Tom: Well anyway, we also sat down with Andy before the match to catch his thoughts.

*The Picture-in-Picture interview box comes up again.

Andy: Vin, you can say whatever you want, I don’t care man. I’ve already got something you want, and if I have any say, you’re never going to get her. And after tonight, I’m going to have two things that you don’t have. Her….and a legit win over you. Tonight is going to be black and white. No controversy, just you on your back counting the lights as the ref counts 1...2...3.

Jeannie: Well, both men definitely seem verbally prepared for this match.

Tom: Indeed. Lets get ready for this one!

*Andy and Alexa are in one corner, while Vin Beverly sits on the top rope of the opposite one. The referee makes sure that both men understand the rules to this match. They both appear to. Alexa leaves the ring, and the ref signals for the bell.

Tom: Here

Jeannie: We

Tom and Jeannie: Go!

*Both men circle each other, neither willing to make the initial contact. Eventually, the two lock-up in the center of the ring as the crowd erupts into a frenzy.

Tom: Listen to this capacity crowd!

Jeannie: They want to see these two go at it!

Tom: As do I!

*Beverly gets the upper hand, and pushes Duke back into the corner.

Tom: Look at the raw power of Vin Beverly!

Jeannie: Oh, you don’t have to tell me twice!

Tom: Oh will you stop?

Jeannie: No. No I won’t.

Tom: Well, now that we have that out in the air, can we continue calling this match?

Jeannie:…I don’t see why not.

Tom: Ok.

*The two lock up again. This time, Beverly Irish whips Duke into the ropes. On the rebound, Duke ducks a Beverly clothesline and continues to run. On that rebound, Beverly catches Duke, and attempts to hit him with a VB Special! But Duke is able to reverse it into an arm drag that sends Beverly half way across the ring. Beverly continues to roll out to the outside of the ring to the floor.

Tom: Vin tried to end this match early by trying to hit that same move that ended their first match.

Jeannie: But Duke had that move scouted.

Tom: Did he ever. That arm drag was amazing. Hit with precision.

Jeannie: And now Beverly has to regroup on the outside.

*The referee begins to count

1

2

Tom: Vin better stay conscious of the ref’s count.

3

4

*Beverly stands on the outside, regrouping, when he walks up to Alexa King, who is shouting advice to Andy. Vin immediately tries to plant a kiss, but Alexa resists. Duke is not looking because he was pandering to the crowd. Vin finally lands a forced kiss on Alexa just as Andy turns around to see it.

5

6

Tom: What is Vin doing?

Jeannie: Whatever he is thinking, it just made Andy quite angry!

*Andy slides out to the floor, causing the referee’s count to restart. Vin pushes Alexa into Andy, causing the two to stumble. Andy makes sure Alexa is ok, and ushers her off to the side of him. Vin Beverly grabs Andy, and hits him with a VB Special! The referee’s count is now at 4.

Tom: He hit it this time!

Jeannie: I don’t know if Andy can get back into the ring in time!
5

*Alexa stands by Andy with her back to the ring, trying to help Andy get back up and into the ring. With the referee focused on the count, Vin looks to take advantage of that. He leans up against the ropes, and kicks Alexa HARD in the back of the head! She goes down, landing on top of Andy.

6

Tom: What a sick bastard!

Jeannie: That was a mistake by Beverly. That’ll come back to haunt him sometime in the future, I can assure you.

*The referee looks to Beverly, asking him if he did anything to Alexa. He convinces the ref that she must have passed out due to her injuries in her match against Rosie. The referee continues his count.

7

8

*Andy gets up, and tries to wake Alexa up, but it is to no avail, as she is knocked out. Vin begins to celebrate in the ring. Andy is completely oblivious to Vin and the referee’s count.

9

10

*The bell rings, and this match is over.

Finkel: Your winner of this match, by count out, Vin Beverly!

Tom: No! Not this way! That sick bastard Vin Beverly takes yet another match away from Andy Duke. But this time, it was intentional!

Jeannie: But Andy Duke is at fault here,too!

Tom: How so?

Jeannie: He got distracted. Beverly took advantage of a situation, however crooked it may be, and Duke let him. If Duke stayed focused on this match, then it would still be going on.

*Duke looks up into the ring with a murderous look in his eyes as Alexa starts to rise to her feet. Andy looks to get back into the ring to try and get even, but Vin spits on him from in the ring, catching him in the face.

Tom: He just spat on him! What a lack of respect!

Jeannie: We said earlier that tonight would either solve this issue or just make it worse. Well, this issue is FAR from over.

*If Andy was angry earlier, he is livid now. He tries to get back in the ring, but the ref keeps him out. Soon, a cavalry of security, referees, even other wrestlers come from the back to separate this.

Tom: I’m getting word that we have an interview going on in the back. Lets get there as this gets cleaned up. Damn that bastard Vin Beverly!

[James E. Colvin]

*Shortly after the match, infamous W*I*G reporter John Cena catches up with a jilted, irate Chaz Stone, fresh off his dirty loss to Jason Hereford.*

Cena: I'm John Cena, and Chaz, could I get a quick word--
Chaz: *snatches the microphone* If ye value yer neck, dun speak ennymore.

*Cena backs off and lets Chaz have the floor.*

Chaz: Hereford, yer a wort'less punk fer winnin' like a coward like dat. If yer tinkin' dis is o'er, ye got another t'ing comin'. Dis ent the last ye'll be seein' of me, and it's certainly ent the worst. Rest up, enjoy your shot, but dun think yer e'er gonna wear dat belt wit me around. Dis ent o'er, 'cause I know I kin beat ya, and ye know it too.

*Chaz jams the microphone back into Cena's chest and walks off.*

Cena: Strong words from a strong man. Back to the show.

[James E. Colvin]

"I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be me,
I don't wanna be me any more..."

Jeannie: This guy creeps me out.
Tom: Hold the presses. I think we've found a guy Jeannie's not attracted to.
Jeannie: I didn't say THAT!

*Type O Negative hits as Coltrane makes his way out to an extremely negative reaction. He is clad, as always, in his usual trenchcoat which he discards before entering the ring.*

Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall & it is to determine the #1 contender to the Wrestling's Innovative Genesis World Heavyweight Championship, introducing first, weighing in at 234lbs, from Queens, New York... COL~TRANE!

*The lights in the W*I*G Sphere go out & Manowar's "Nessun Dorma" begins playing as lights swirl all over the arena.*

"Nessun dorma, nessun dorma
Tu pure, o principessa,
Nella tua fredda stanza
Guardi le stelle che tremano
D'amore e di speranza!
Ma il mio mistero e chiuso in me,
Il nome mio nessun sapra!
No, no, sulla tua bocca lo diro,
Quando la luce splendera!
Ed il mio bacio sciogliera
Il silenzio che ti fa mia!"

*The lights come to rest at the top of the ramp.*

"Dilegua, o notte!
Tramontate, stelle, tramontate, stelle!
All'alba vincero, vincero, VINCERO!"

*A huge explosion goes off at the top of the ramp & THE MAXX AWESOME makes his way on down to the ring as the remainder of the song plays. The lights follow his path down to the ring & bursts of pyro explode from the sides of the entrance ramp with every step he takes.*

Finkel: And his opponent, from Atlantic City, New Jersey, weighing in at 210lbs, he is "The One Man Show"... THE... MAXX... AWE~SOME!

*MAXX hops onto the apron & pauses a moment to look out at the audience before stepping into the ring between the top & middle ropes. He makes his way to the centre of the ring as the spotlights shine down on him. He stands with one fist raised in the air & his head bowed as his music comes to a finish.*

*MAXX seems undaunted by Coltrane's unbeaten record. After all, MAXX himself is undefeated in W*I*G.*

DING-DING!

*As soon as the bell goes, MAXX charges right at Coltrane & hits him with a Flying Elbow Smash.*

Tom: THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) getting off to a flying start...

*Crickets*

Jeannie: You're dead weight, Tom.

*MAXX is getting fired up already. Looking to get revenge on Coltrane for attacking him on Vindication. Coltrane gets back to his feet & MAXX launches himself off the ropes with a Savate Kick to knock Coltrane down again.*

Tom: MAXX is really taking the lead here in the early going; taking the fight right to Coltrane.
Jeannie: Let's just hope his anger over what happened at Vindication hasn't blinded him.

*MAXX starts heading to the top rope, but he may be getting ahead of himself as Coltrane sits up again & grabs at the seat of MAXX's tights & positions himself under MAXX for a Powerbomb. MAXX manages to reverse the Powerbomb attempt into a Hurrancanrana, sending Coltrane across the ring. Coltrane charges at MAXX who leapfrogs over him. But Coltrane manages to catch MAXX with a Neckbreaker on the way down. Coltrane drops an elbow on MAXX & picks him up, setting him in position for a Piledriver. MAXX counters & sends Coltrane flying with a Back Body Drop. Coltrane regains his footing, but MAXX sends him back to the ropes with a Dropkick. MAXX takes another run at Coltrane & tries to attack him with a Cactus Clothesline, but this time Coltrane sends MAXX out of the ring with a Back Body Drop. MAXX lies on the concrete floor & Coltrane follows up with a Moonsault off the top rope to the outside!*

Tom: Coltrane landing that Moonsault on THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) from the top rope to the concrete floor! Imagine the velocity he must have been going at!
Jeannie: I'd be more concerned about Coltrane landing on THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause)'s rock hard abs.

*Coltrane fumbles under the ring & drags out a table, a chair & other assorted paraphernalia.*

Tom: More bad news for THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) as Coltrane has brought a table into play.
Jeannie: Has Coltrane lost it? He'll get DQ'ed if he uses any of that stuff!
Tom: I think Coltrane may be more concerned with driving MAXX out of W*I*G than winning the match cleanly.

*Coltrane drags MAXX back standing again & attempts another Piledriver on the floor. MAXX drops to one knee & grabs a hold of Coltrane's ankles. MAXX takes Coltrane off his feet & Slingshots him into the ring-post.*

Tom: MAXX just sent Coltrane crashing into that ring-post! Now he's... BAH GAWD! BUSTED WIDE OPEN!

*MAXX rolls back into the ring to break the referee's count & goes out again only to roll a bloody looking Coltrane in before him. MAXX stuffs Coltrane into a corner & rips his black shirt open. MAXX delivers a massive chop to Coltrane's bared chest & the audience responds with the customary "WOOOOOOOOO!". Coltrane retaliates by giving MAXX a big chop of his own! MAXX recoils as Coltrane hits another chop. MAXX hits back with a punch aimed at Coltrane's head, perhaps to try & open up the cut in his head a bit more. Coltrane blocks the punch & whips MAXX to the ropes. MAXX rebounds & counters with a Shining Wizard on Coltrane. MAXX doesn't go for a cover on Coltrane yet. First he bounds off the ropes at the opposite side & hits a Rolling Neck Snap. Coltrane's neck is clearly causing him massive bother now. MAXX grabs Coltrane's upper body & traps his opponent in a Figure-4 Neck-Lock. Coltrane rolls over & manages to pick MAXX up on his shoulders. The strain & damage to his neck is immense, but Coltrane manages to down MAXX with an Electric Chair Drop. Coltrane forces MAXX back to the corner & places him on the top rope.*

Tom: Could Coltrane be about to attempt "The MAXX-terpiece"?
Jeannie: Even THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) only busts that move out on special occasions!

*Coltrane hits a few punches on MAXX & it looks as though he's about to try MAXX's move. But MAXX, from his position atop the ropes, hits a kick to Coltrane's head. Coltrane staggers back as MAXX flies from the top & connects with a Blockbuster! MAXX scrambles over to Coltrane to make a cover...*

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KICKOUT!

Jeannie: Coltrane is far from finished here yet!
Tom: It seems as though Coltrane has an answer to everything THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) tries to do tonight.

*Indeed, Coltrane is back on his feet already. Coltrane whips MAXX off to the ropes &, this time, manages to catch him with a Sleeper Neckbreaker. MAXX is down & Coltrane imitates MAXX's earlier strategy by hitting a Rolling Neck Snap followed by cinching in a Figure-4 Neck-Lock!*

Tom: Not content to merely imitate moves any more, Coltrane is now mocking the strategy that THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) employed on him earlier in this match!

*Coltrane wraps his legs tightly around MAXX's neck. MAXX is grasping at his neck. Coltrane arches his own back up to keep the pressure up on MAXX. Unlike Coltrane before him, MAXX is unable to lift his opponent on to his shoulders. With his back arched upwards to prevent his shoulders hitting the mat, MAXX tries to drag himself along the mat. The pressure on his neck is tremendous. Coltrane keeps the hold locked on, but can't prevent MAXX from scraping along the mat. MAXX finally manages to reach the ropes with his feet. he desperately wraps his legs around the bottom rope & the referee forces Coltrane to release the hold.*

Tom: A desperate THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) finally manages to make his way to the ropes.
Jeannie: Even though Coltrane has released that hold, I think he'll continue to imitate MAXX's strategy & focus heavily on the neck for the rest of the match. He's already done significant damage with that series of manoeuvres all pulled from THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause)'s playbook.

*Coltrane backs off for a moment, then, as MAXX still lies on the mat, Coltrane attacks with a Baseball Slide, sending MAXX to the outside. Coltrane follows him out & whips MAXX into the railing. MAXX crashes into the security rail back first. Coltrane leaps over the rail & into the audience. He makes his way 'round to where MAXX is slumped back against the rail. Coltrane grabs MAXX's head & drops him with a Neckbreaker onto the security rail! The audience gasps in horror!*

Jeannie: SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP! Coltrane could've broken MAXX's neck with that move!
Tom: And as you see, Coltrane is still focussing his attack on the neck. If that didn't break MAXX's neck, it damn sure did alot of damage.

*Coltrane steps over the railing & yanks MAXX back up standing again. This time Coltrane forces MAXX's head into the ring post with as much force as he can. He bashes MAXX into the post 5 times before rolling him back into the ring. Of course, MAXX himself is now bleeding as well. Coltrane follows back in & MAXX makes an effort to nurse his neck. Coltrane stomps on MAXX's midsection & heads to the top rope. Coltrane dives onto MAXX with...*

Tom: SKY MONIX'S SHINING STAR PRESS!
Jeannie: Not content with putting Sky Monix on the shelf, Coltrane is even imitating the moves of the man he injured!

*The ref dashes in to count the cover on MAXX...*

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KICKOUT!

*Coltrane drags MAXX standing again & hooks his leg for a Fisherman Suplex. MAXX manages to fight back & works his way out of the predicament. He lands a few digs on Coltrane & then plants him with "The MAXX Effect". Rather than go for a cover, MAXX takes the time to gather his bearings a bit.*

Tom: It's clear that the last few minutes of the match have left THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) somewhat rattled.
Jeannie: Ever since Coltrane started his assault on MAXX's neck he just hasn't been quite in his game.

*MAXX crawls over to Coltrane, but before he can even make the cover Coltrane is beginning to stir & sit back up anyway.*

Tom: I guess that THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) wasn't able to hit "The MAXX Effect" with enough force to really get hurt Coltrane.
Jeannie: After the beating he's been taking for the past while, I'm not really surprised that THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) isn't fully able to concentrate on the match.

*Coltrane & MAXX start to get back to their feet, albeit slowly. MAXX takes a swing at Coltrane. Coltrane dodges the punch & shoots "The One Man Show" off to the ropes. When MAXX rebounds he performs a Tilt-A-Whirl around Coltrane & plants him with "Ode to The Chosen One"! MAXX rolls Coltrane over & makes a cover...*

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KICKOUT!

*MAXX is growing impatient with Coltrane's ability to kick out of anything. Coltrane gets to his feet & he & MAXX duke it out again. MAXX lands a punch from each fist & goes for a kick to Coltrane's gut. Coltrane blocks the kick & sends MAXX spinning. MAXX allows the momentum to carry him round & he decks Coltrane with a Discus Clothesline. Both men are down & the ref has begun to count them down. MAXX begins to stir at 5, Coltrane is right behind him as he begins to get up around 7, both are standing again at 9. Coltrane makes another lunge at MAXX. MAXX quickly knees Coltrane in the mid-section & swiftly executes a "MAXXimyzer". Both men are down again.*

Tom: That can't have been good for THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) after all the damage his neck has taken in this match.
Jeannie: Look at him grasping at his neck, Tom. It's clear that move may have been worse for THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) than it was for Coltrane.

*MAXX's rash use of the "MAXXimyzer" has aggravated his already damaged neck due to a bad landing on the move. He can't even move to roll Coltrane over for a cover. MAXX reaches out to grab the ropes & eventually manages to use them as a means of support. Coltrane is barely starting to stir as MAXX is getting his breath back & allowing his neck some time to recuperate. MAXX makes his way to a corner & slumps back in it, nursing his neck all the while. MAXX leans back & rubs his aching neck. While he takes time to do so, Coltrane dashes towards the corner, aiming for a splash. MAXX dodges the attack & Coltrane crashes into the turnbuckle chest first. As Coltrane rebounds from that, MAXX grabs Coltrane for a Roll-Up...*

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KICKOUT!

*Coltrane isn't too happy about MAXX attempting to get the quick win like that. MAXX backs off a little bit & makes a "Little" gesture to Coltrane to indicate how close he came to winning. Coltrane flies into a rage he runs straight at MAXX & MAXX drills him with the "MAXX Factor". Coltrane goes down, but MAXX isn't finished just yet. He grabs his elbow pad & tears it off, tossing it out to the crowd. MAXX performs the "Disco Point" & takes off, hitting the ropes to his left, then running & hitting the ropes on the opposite side of the ring. MAXX saunters back over to Coltrane with an imitation of the John Travolta strut...*

Jeannie: IT'S THE MOST AWESOME MOVE IN SPORTS-ENTERTAINMENT^tm! THE MANERO ELBOW!

*MAXX drops the Manero Elbow on Coltrane & makes the cover. The crowd count along with the referee...*

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KICKOUT!!!

*The audience are aghast as is MAXX! He can't believe Coltrane still has anything left. MAXX whips Coltrane into a corner & follows over himself. Coltrane gets a boot up into MAXX's face. MAXX staggers back & Coltrane aims to follow up with a Clothesline. MAXX manages to grab the ref t the last second. The official is on the receiving end of Coltrane's attack. MAXX feigns wiing the sweat from his brow as if to say "That was a close one". While he's clowining around, Coltrane knees MAXX in the gut & hits him with a "MAXXimyzer"!*

Tom: That's got to be it! There's no way MAXX can come back now after all the punishment his neck has taken in this match.

*Coltrane slides out of the ring & shoves the table he brought out earlier in under the bottom rope. With the ref still down, Coltrane works quickly to set the table up near a corner. He drags a weary MAXX to the corner & places him on the top rope.*

Jeannie: He's not about to do what I think he is, is he?

*Coltrane tries to grab MAXX for a "MAXXterpiece", but MAXX resists & hits a few elbows to the side of Coltrane's head. Coltrane responds with a stiff punch right to MAXX's face. Coltrane turns the dazed MAXX around so his back is facing towards the ring.*

Tom: What the hell is he doing now?

*Coltrane grabs both of MAXX's arms & lifts him off the top rope before dropping him through the table with a VERTEBREAKER!!!*

"HO~LY SHIT! HO~LY SHIT!"

*Coltrane clears the splinters out of the ring & shakes the referee back to conciousness!*

1...







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3!!!

DING-DING-DING!

*"I Don't Wanna Be Me" starts up again.*

Finkel: Here is your winner & STILL the #1 contender to the Wrestling's Innovative Genesis World Heavyweight Championship... COL~TRANE!

Jeannie: I can't believe it! How could he be so sick?
Tom: THE MAXX AWESOME... (Dramatic Pause) might never wrestle again after the punishment he took tonight. We're talking permanent neck damage here!

*Coltrane heads back up the ramp. Smiling smugly to himself over the fact that he may have ended the career of another member of the W*I*G roster.*

Tom: Damn you, Coltrane! You sick bastard! You'll get yours one day!

*The On-screen graphic comes back, and Coltrane's picture is put back to its original place.

[James E. Colvin]

Tom: Well, the next main event is set! It will be Exner vs. Joshua vs. Hereford vs. Coltrane in the match to determine the first W*I*G Champion!

Jeannie: I can't wait!

Tom:So, join us on the 28th for Parade of Champions! You'll see that match and many more! James E. Colvin has promised many big announcents!

Jeannie: Its going to be an amazing event!

Tom: So, for Jeannie Lawless, I'm Tom Bailey, saying see us weekly on W*I*G Vindication we'll make our PPV return on the 28th! Over and out!