W*I*G Presents: Halloween Hell!

[James E. Colvin]

*Spooky music plays, as a camera pans back and forth across a grave yard. One of the tombstones reads "Halloween Hell", and then shatters, transitioning us to a capacity crowd at the W*I*Gsphere. The stage is decorated with standard Halloween and horror motives. We go now to our announcers.

Tom Bailey: Hello W*I*G Fans, and welcome to yet another Pro Wrestling W*I*G PPV, Halloween Hell. And if just a standard PPV wasn't enough for you, every match here has a special Hardcore theme to it! My partner here tonight, like always, is the lovely Jeannie Lawless. Hi there, Jeannie!

Jeannie: Hello Tom! And yes, a very special hardcore-themed PPV this evening. We've got all the titles on the line, plus many more matches, and your main event, the Monsters Ball match! I can't wait any longer!

Tom: Then let's not! Let's get ready for our opening bout! Hold On, whats this...we're getting news of something going on backstage. Lets go there now!

*Andy Duke is in his locker-room, listening to some music & taping his hands up in preparation for his match against Coltrane. There's a knock at his door. He goes to open it & he sees Alexa King standing in front of him. Her make-up is messy, her clothes are dirty & spattered with blood, her hair is all scraggly & she's barefoot. It's easy to tell that she has been crying. Andy stares at her in astonishment for a moment. Alexa opens her mouth & whispers a single word...*

Alexa: ...coltrane...

*She collapses forward & Andy catches her. He yells down the hall.*

Duke: HEEEEEELP! CAN I GET SOME HELP HERE?!

[James E. Colvin]

Howard Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall.

*TNT’s music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=WCX8gDW4YS0

Finkel: And, his opponent, coming down the aisle, at 6 feet 5 inches, weighing 252 pounds, from Superior, Arizona—TOBY NICHOLAS TUCKER, TNT.

*TNT comes out to some boos that get louder as he and the girls (Talia Bell, Nicole Michaels, and Tracy Jones) emerge from the curtains. TNT is wearing red wrestling tights with “TNT” in white down the legs, white wrist tape, and black cowboy boots with a fire design on them. The girls are wearing matching lavender shirts, tight black Capri pants, and lavender shoes. All four walk down to the ring as a lot of pyro. TNT walks up the steps, onto the apron, and through the ropes, while the girls to a corner far from the side of the ring facing the Colvintron. TNT walks over to the corner where the girls are as the girls climb up onto the apron.*

Tom Bailey: Okay, we are set for one-on-one action between TNT and James “Magnum” Constance.

Jeannie Lawless: This maybe the match I’m looking forward to the most! I mean, Magnum…TNT…oh my God!

Tom: Jeannie? Are you okay!?

Jeannie: Sorry. I blacked out a little there.

*James “Magnum” Constance’s music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=CR9WJToFsTs

Finkel: And, his opponent, coming down the aisle, at 6 feet 2 inches, weighing at 245 pounds, from Honolulu Hawaii, by way of Detroit, Michigan—JAMES “MAGNUM” CONSTANCE.

*The crowd pops as Magnum comes out. He is wearing sunglasses, a Detroit Tigers cap, a Hawaiian shirt, blue tropical floral design trunks, black knee pads, and black boots. He walks out a little and then stops at the top of the ramp. People in the arena look puzzled. Then, L. Rey walks out. The crowd pops loudly. TNT and the girls look shocked and upset. TNT begins arguing with the referee, telling him that he shouldn’t allow L. Rey to be ringside. L. Rey has on a leather coat, trendy shirt, blue jeans, and boots. He has his guitar with him as well. Both men to the ring as some pyro goes off. Magnum enters it as L. Rey walks over to a steel post and stands there. Magnum takes off his cap, shirt, and sunglasses and hands them to the referee, who hands them to the timekeeper.*

Jeannie: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

Tom: I don’t believe it! L. Rey is coming out with Magnum!

Jeannie: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

Tom: These two have obviously patched things up, thanks to TNT.

Jeannie: OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!

Tom: I think Jeannie’s broken.

*The bell rings. Magnum tries to tie up with TNT, but TNT ignores him, walks over to the ropes, and starts arguing with L. Rey. He keeps yelling at L. Rey until Magnum attacks him from behind with a clubbing blow to the back of the head. Magnum turns TNT around and whips him across the ring. TNT hits the ropes and comes running back into a dropkick from Magnum. However, TNT gets up. Magnum gets up as well and dropkicks him again. Both men get up, and Magnum dropkicks TNT again. They get up again. This time Magnum charges at TNT, but TNT jumps through the ropes and lands on the outside. The crowd boos his cowardice as the girls help him up.*

Tom: A barrage of dropkicks has TNT running to the outside and into the hands of his girls.

Jeannie: That’s not cowardice, Tom! He’s just pacing himself so that he will have more energy for later in the match.

*The ref begins a ten count.*

Ref: 1…*Nicole and Tracy brush some “dirt” off of TNT.*

2…*Talia grabs some water from a fan.*

3…*Talia hands the water bottle to TNT.*

4…*TNT opens the water and drinks from it.*

5…*TNT hands the water bottle back to Talia.*

6…*TNT finally gets back into the ring.*

*A frustrated Magnum charges at TNT, but TNT rolls back out of the ring. The audience boos loudly.*

Tom: What the hell!? TNT just went back to the outside.

Jeannie: Maybe he’s still thirsty.

Tom: Why does he even need water? He hasn’t done much.

Jeannie: Maybe the walk to the ring tired him out.

*The ref begins another 10 count.*

Ref: 1…*TNT asks for the water bottle back.*

2…*Talia hands the bottle to him.*

3…*TNT drinks from it.*

4…*Tracy grabs a towel from a fan as TNT hands the bottle back to Talia.*

5…*Tracy rubs the towel over TNT’s face; Magnum is getting very frustrated. The boos get louder.*

6…*TNT finally reenters the ring.*

*Magnum charges at TNT again, but TNT just rolls out of the ring again. The crowd begins a “TNT Sucks!”*

Tom: This is ridiculous! Wrestler already!

Jeannie: Boy, that walk to the ring really tired TNT out!

Tom: If the walk to the ring tires you, then you shouldn’t be wrestling in the first place!

*The ref begins another 10 count.*

Ref: 1…*TNT asks for the water bottle again.*

2…*Talia hands him the bottle.*

3…*TNT drink from it.*

4…*TNT hands the bottle back to Talia.*

5…*Tracy rubs the towel over TNT’s face again.

6…*Magnum gets fed up, exits the ring, grabs TNT, and throws him back into the ring. The crowd cheers loudly.*

Tom: Thank you, Magnum!

Jeannie: You know, I usually say that in my dreams.

Tom: Why are you thanking Magnum? Wait, nevermind! Don’t tell me!

*TNT charges Magnum as he reenters the ring, but Magnum catches him with an armdrag. TNT gets up and charges at Magnum again, but Magnum hits him with another armdrag. Both men get up and charge at each other. Magnum jumps up and hits TNT with a high knee strike. TNT falls to the mat. Magnum jumps on top of him and hits him with a barrage of punches. Magnum gets up as the audience cheers. TNT holds his head and slowly gets up. Suddenly, Magnum harshly spears TNT into the corner. The audience lets out a groan.*

Tom: Jumping Mexican Beans! What a spear to TNT!

Jeannie: Dammit! If Tracy, Nicole, and Talia weren’t there, then I could be the one comforting TNT!

Tom: Oh, you poor thing.

Jeannie: Thank you, Tom.

Tom: I was being sarcastic.

Jeannie: Why must you be like that!?

*Magnum gets up. He picks up TNT and places him into the corner. Then, Magnum hits TNT with a vicious chop block. The audience lets out a Woo. Magnum then hits TNT with another chop block. The audience lets out another Woo. Magnum hits TNT with a few European uppercuts. Then, Magnum whips TNT across the ring into the other corner, runs behind him, hits him with a big splash after TNT hits the corner, quickly grabs TNT’s head, and hits him with a bulldog. Magnum then moves back into the ropes, bounces off them, and hits TNT with a jumping knee drop to TNT’s head. TNT rolls on the mat, holding his head. Magnum waits for him to get up. TNT does and turns around. Magnum grabs him and hits him with a double-A spinebuster.*

Tom: Magnum is really taking it to TNT.

Jeannie: I would like to really take it to TNT.

Tom: Why must everything be about sex with you?

Jeannie: My mom was a sex addict, and her huge sexual appetite rubbed off on me.

*Magnum waits for TNT to get up again. He does, pulling himself up with the ropes. Magnum then charges at him and clotheslines TNT to the outside. As TNT gets up, Magnum climbs up to the top turnbuckle, jumps off, and hits TNT with a double axe handle. Suddenly, Tracy comes charging at Magnum and pushes him down. L. Rey runs over to the melee and pushes Tracy down. Nicole and Talia quickly come to Tracy’s aid. The referee exits the ring and breaks up the altercation between L. Rey and the girls. As this goes on, Magnum gets up. TNT moves behind him and lowblows him when the ref isn’t looks. The audience boos. TNT then gets up, grabs Magnum, and throws him into the guardrail.*

Tom: L. Rey and TNT’s girls distract the referee, allowing TNT to get in a lowblow.

Jeannie: Why must people go below the belt?

*With the referee still distracted, TNT picks up Magnum in a military press and drops him throat first onto the guardrail. Then, he starts choking Magnum onto the guardrail. Meanwhile, the referee tries to keep L. Rey and the girls apart. He manages to do so by threatening to throw them from ringside. They all calm down. Suddenly, L. Rey sees TNT choking Magnum and goes to pull him off; but the ref stops him. He keeps L. Rey at bay and then pulls TNT off of Magnum himself. As the ref checks on Magnum, TNT and L. Rey share some words. The ref then tells L. Rey to knock it off. TNT grabs Magnum by his hair and throws him into the ring. TNT climbs up to the top turnbuckle, jumps off, and hits Magnum with a diving elbow drop to his back as Magnum tries to get up.*

Tom: And, TNT has now gained control of this match.

Jeannie: L. Rey better be careful, or he could get sent to the lockers. And, we don’t want that.

Tom: Well, if L. Rey was thrown from ringside, then TNT would have the odds in his favor with his girls at ringside and no one to back Magnum up.

Jeannie: Actually, I meant because I like looking at him. He’s so sexy.

Tom: It’s nice to see you’re so focused.

Jeannie: Thank you!

*TNT gets up and stomps on Magnum a few times. Then, he picks Magnum up for a suplex, holds him up for about a minute or two, and then drops him to the mat. TNT quickly gets up and drops an elbow onto Magnum’s throat. He gets up and hits Magnum with another elbow drop to his throat. TNT gets up again, and hits Magnum with another elbow drop to his throat. Then, TNT picks up Magnum and hits him with a few European uppercuts as he pushes Magnum into the ropes. Then, TNT whips Magnum across the ring. As Magnum runs to the ropes and bounces off them, TNT backs into the ropes, bounces off them, charges at Magnum, and hits him with a bicycle kick. Magnum falls back into the ropes and bounces off them. TNT catches him and hits Magnum with a lifting side slam into a backbreaker.*

Tom: Combustible Element to Magnum!

Jeannie: It looks like TNT is about to explode!

Tom: Oh God, not the lame jokes.

Jeannie: Hey, my jokes aren’t lame! *long pause* Well, they’re not that lame!

*TNT picks up Magnum into a sitting position onto the mat. Then, he drives his right knee into Magnum’s back a few times. Then, he wraps his arm around Magnum’s neck, picks him up, and drops Magnum back to the mat with an inverted suplex. TNT quickly gets up and kicks Magnum in the chest as he gets up. Magnum falls onto the ropes. TNT walks over and shoves his shin into Magnum’s throat. The ref begins a 5 count.*

Ref: 1…2…3…4…*TNT stops choking Magnum with his shin. Then, he suddenly runs across the ring, bounces off the ropes, runs toward Magnum, and hits him with a senton onto his throat. TNT moves away from Magnum. The girls clap and celebrate what TNT has done while L. Rey yells some encouragement to Magnum.*

Tom: TNT is really taking it to Magnum.

Jeannie: I would like to really take it to Magnum.

Tom: You’ve already said that about TNT.

Jeannie: Well, I want to have sex with both of them.

Tom: At least you were honest for once.

*TNT waits for Magnum to get up. He slowly does, using the ropes to pull himself up. Suddenly, TNT charges at Magnum and clotheslines him to the outside. The ref begins a 10 count.*

Ref: 1…*L. Rey walks over to Magnum.*

2…*L. Rey tries to help Magnum up, but Nicole quickly walks over there and starts yelling at L. Rey.*

3…*TNT moves onto the apron and starts yelling at L. Rey as well.*

*This causes the ref to stop the count. He moves onto the apron and tries to calm everyone down. As this goes on, Talia and Tracy grab Magnum and throw him into the guardrail. Then, they grab Magnum and hit him with a double suplex.*

Tom: I don’t believe this! Again, the ref is distracted, and Talia Bell and Tracy Jones gang up on Magnum.

Jeannie: Well, TNT never said they were nice people.

Tom: Don’t you mean he?

Jeannie: TNT is the name of the group as well as Toby’s nickname.

Tom: Oh yeah. That’s gonna be confusing.

*L. Rey sees this and charges at the girls. However, the ref jumps down and stops him. TNT and Nicole continue to argue with L. Rey. As this goes on, Tracy and Talia pick Magnum up and drop him crotch first onto the guardrail. TNT gets down of the apron as L. Rey and the ref are distracted and hits Magnum with a clothesline. Then, he picks up Magnum and throws him back into the ring. The ref manages to separate everyone again and reenters the ring. TNT then waits until Magnum gets up. He does. TNT kicks Magnum in the stomach, grabs him, and hits him with a bridging leg hook belly to back suplex, holding for a pin.*

Ref: 1…2…*Magnum kicks out.*

Tom: Astronomical Explosion nearly gets a three for TNT.

Jeannie: Astronomical Explosion, eh? *long pause* I got nothing.

*TNT gets up onto his knees. He quickly hits Magnum with a European uppercut as he gets up. TNT gets onto his feet and picks up Magnum. Then, he hits Magnum with a vertical suplex powerbomb. The girls cheer him on. He goes for another pin.*

Ref: 1…2…*Magnum kicks out.*

Tom: Electrical Explosion to Magnum, but it doesn’t get the three count.

Jeannie: TNT is really on a roll. In fact, you could say he’s electrifying!

Tom: I like it better when you’ve got nothing.

*TNT gets up. He’s starting to get frustrated. L. Rey looks pleased that Magnum has kicked out. TNT waits for Magnum to get up. He slowly does, turns around, and is kicked in the stomach by TNT. TNT then grabs Magnum and hits him with a gutwrench side piledriver. The girls yell in celebration for TNT. He covers Magnum.*

Ref: 1…2…*Magnum gets a shoulder up.*

Tom: Nitro Driver does not get the win for TNT.

Jeannie: TNT’s starting to get frustrated. This could cause him to explode or could lead to a big mistake.

*TNT pounds the mat in frustration. He gets up and waits for Magnum to get. Magnum slowly does. TNT kicks him in the stomach, puts him in position for a powerbomb, locks him into a straight jacket hold, lifts him up, and drops him into a sitout powerbomb. He holds Magnum there for a pin.*

Ref: 1…2…*Magnum kicks out.*

Tom: Explosion Bomb not enough to keep Magnum down!

Jeannie: Explosion Bomb!? Isn’t that a little redundant?

Tom: Ask TNT—he came up with the name.

Jeannie: Well, he may be sexy, but he hasn’t shown that he’s very bright.

*TNT jumps up. He looks very frustrated. He runs over to the ropes and kicks them. Then, he yells at L. Rey, “WHY WON’T HE STAY DOWN!?” L. Rey looks pleased. Meanwhile, Magnum slowly gets up. TNT turns around, charges at Magnum, and hits him with a bicycle kick. Then, he drops down and wails on Magnum, punching and kicking him. TNT jumps up and starts stomping on Magnum’s throat and knee. After a while, he goes to work on the knee, lifting it up and kicking it from behind. Then, he DDTs Magnum’s knee onto his own knee. TNT gets up and does this again and again and again and again and again. Then, TNT wraps Magnum’s knee around his arm and puts his foot onto Magnum’s throat. The ref begins a 5 count.*

Ref: 1…2…3…4…*TNT removes his foot from Magnum’s throat.*

Tom: TNT starting to show his mean streak.

Jeannie: You could say that he’s exploded onto Magnum.

Tom: No, I’m not, and that doesn’t really make any sense.

Jeannie: How does that not make any sense?

Tom: How do you explode onto someone?

Jeannie: Well…

Tom: Wait! Nevermind!

*Suddenly, TNT stomps on Magnum’s throat a few more times and then chokes him with his foot again. The ref does another 5 count.*

Ref: 1…2…3…4…*TNT removes his foot from Magnum’s throat.*

Tom: TNT choking Magnum with his foot while he works on the knee.

Jeannie: That’s smart. Not only is he working on the knee but he’s also making it hard for Magnum to breathe. That way, Magnum will either submit because of the knee or pass out from lack of air. I might have to retract my earlier statements about TNT’s intelligence.

*TNT stomps on Magnum’s throat a few more times and then chokes him with his foot again. The ref does yet another 5 count.*

Ref: 1…2…3…4…*TNT removes his foot from Magnum’s throat. Then, he locks Magnum into a grounded over the shoulder single leg Boston crab/headscissors combo.*

Tom: And now, TNT locks Magnum into the Nitroglycerine.

Jeannie: It doesn’t look good for Magnum right now, but…

Tom: Despite that, he still looks good.

Jeannie: What!? I was going to say that Magnum could still grab the ropes since he’s a little close to them before I was rudely interrupted by Tom’s admiration for Magnum! Can you focus on the match and not your man-crush on Magnum!?

Tom: What!? No…I…but…I was just…you…SHUT UP!

*TNT has the move locked on for a while. However, both are pretty close to the ropes. Magnum reaches for the ropes, but they are just out of his reach. Then, he tries to pull himself and TNT to the ropes. This takes some time. However, Magnum manages to get a little closer and is able to brush the bottom rope with is fingers. He’s about to grab a hold of the bottom rope when Talia grabs the rope and pulls it back further. Suddenly, L. Rey comes over and pushes Talia to the ground. Tracy and Nicole quickly come to her aid, and the ref has to leave the ring again to break them up. This distraction allows TNT to grab the top rope and pull back for leverage.*

Tom: I don’t believe this! Not only did Talia Bell keep Magnum from grabbing the bottom rope, but now TNT is using the ropes for leverage thanks to Tracy, Talia, and Nicole distracting him!

Jeannie: You know, L. Rey is just as much a problem as the girls. Also, you should say Tracy, Nicole, and Talia.

Tom: Why?

Jeannie: So that the first letters in their names will come out to TNT.

Tom: Is that really important?

Jeannie: Yes! It is!

*The ref finally gets L. Rey and the girls separated again. When he turns around, he sees TNT using the ropes for leverage. The referee quickly reenters the ring and kicks TNT’s arm off the rope. TNT suddenly lets go of the Nitroglycerine hold and gets in the referee’s face. He grabs the ref by his shirt collar and tells him “Don’t touch me, boy!” The referee pushes TNT off and warns him to not do that again. As this goes Magnum starts stirring around. He crawls to the adjacent ropes and pulls himself up. TNT and the ref continue to argue as Magnum finally gets on his feet. TNT turns around, and Magnum hits him with a jumping superkick. Both men fall to the mat.*

Tom: Higgins! Magnum with the Wave Goodbye out of nowhere!

Jeannie: I don’t believe this! TNT had him! But, he just let the ref get to him! What a stupid move!

Tom: I thought you retracted your remarks about TNT’s stupidity.

Jeannie: Well, I’m now retracting my retraction.

*Both men get up. TNT gets up quicker than Magnum. Suddenly, TNT charges toward Magnum, but Magnum catches him and hits him with a throat-first flapjack onto the top rope followed by a clothesline. Magnum falls onto TNT, and the ref goes for a pin.*

Ref: 1…2…*TNT kicks out.*

Tom: Kiss The Sabre from out of nowhere, but it doesn’t get a win for Magnum.

Jeannie: Magnum wasn’t really covering TNT—he just sort fell on top of him. But, I wouldn’t count that gorgeous man out just yet.

*Both men get up. TNT suddenly hits Magnum with a European uppercut. Magnum falls against the ropes. Then, TNT whips him across the ring. As Magnum bounces off the opposite ropes, TNT goes for a bicycle kick; but Magnum ducks. He runs to the other ropes and bounces off them. TNT turns around, and Magnum hits him with a high knee strike. TNT falls backwards into the ropes and bounces off them. He charges at Magnum, but Magnum catches him with a flapjack lift and hits him with a cutter on the way down. Magnum then goes for a cover.*

Ref: 1…2…*TNT kicks out.*

Tom: Paradise Blues nearly gets the three. Looks like Magnum is making a comeback.

Jeannie: And, if he does win, I’ll give him a lei.

Tom: JEANNIE!!!!

Jeannie: The Hawaiian flower necklace, you moron!

Tom: Sorry.

*Both men get up. TNT goes for a punch, but Magnum ducks. TNT swings around, and Magnum grabs him from behind and hits him with a German suplex. They both get up again, but this time TNT hits Magnum with a European uppercut. Then, he places Magnum into the ropes and whips him across the ring. TNT ducks down, going for a backbody drop, as Magnum bounces off the ropes. However, Magnum counters with a facebuster to the knee. TNT bounces up, falls against the ropes, and bounces off them. Magnum grabs him and hits him with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Magnum gets up and picks up TNT. Suddenly, TNT goes for another European uppercut; but Magnum moves out of the way. TNT swings around again, and Magnum grabs him and hits him with a belly to back suplex. Both men get up. Magnum grabs TNT from behind, locks him into a straight jacket hold, and hits him with a sitout rear mat slam, grabbing TNT’s leg and hold it for a pin.*

Ref: 1…2…*TNT kicks out.*

Tom: Magnum is on fire! But, TNT gets out of the Dream A Little Dream!

Jeannie: Yeah, but can he put out the fire in TNT!?

*Both men get up. TNT swings with a punch, but Magnum ducks and lifts up, picking TNT up onto his shoulders. Then, Magnum hits TNT with a reverse thrown inverted Death Valley driver.*

Tom: Ode To Tom Selleck! This one could be over!

Jeannie: Get ready for that lei, Magnum!

*Magnum covers TNT.*

Ref: 1…2…*Suddenly, Talia runs into the ring and hits Magnum with a running knee strike to his head. The referee calls for the bell, as Talia pounces on Magnum and starts punching him. He tries to pull Talia off of Magnum, but Talia kicks him in the crotch. The crowd boos.*

Tom: I don’t believe this! Magnum had the win but Talia inferred! What’s the deal with this!?

Jeannie: Hey! Magnum still won, and he’ll still get lei’d by me.

*L. Rey enters the ring, pulls Talia off of Magnum, and starts attacking her. Tracy and Nicole enter the ring and attack L. Rey. Talia gets up and joins her teammates in stomping on L. Rey into a corner. Magnum gets up and goes to L. Rey’s aid. He pulls Tracy and Nicole off of L. Rey. Then, he grabs Talia by her hair and tries to punch her. However, Nicole grabs his arm, spins him around, jumps onto Magnum, and starts kissing him! The audience is stunned, but there are a few whistles and catcalls.*

Jeannie: Hey! I’m suppose to lei Magnum!

Tom: You still can. It doesn’t look like he’s getting a flower necklace from Nicole.

*TNT gets up and sees Nicole kissing Magnum. He looks pissed. Nicole slips down onto her feet and stops kissing Magnum. TNT charges at Magnum and hits him with a running big boot to the back of the head; Nicole gets out of the way just in time. Magnum falls against the ropes, and TNT punches on Magnum. Then, TNT picks up Magnum onto his shoulders and hits him with a reverse thrown F-5 into a forward Russian legsweep. The crowd’s boos get louder and louder.*

Tom: Dynamite to Magnum!

Jeannie: Jimmie Walker must be proud.

Tom: Who?

Jeannie: J.J. on Good Times.

Tom: Oh yeah!

*L. Rey gets up and charges at TNT, but TNT kicks him in the crotch. Then, he and Tracy grab L. Rey. TNT tells Talia to get L. Rey’s guitar. She does. TNT and Tracy move L. Rey to the center of the ring, and Talia swings the guitar and smashes it over L. Rey’s head. L. Rey falls to the mat. The boos have become deafening, and there is some trash being thrown into the ring. Despite this, TNT and his girls celebrate.*

Tom: L. Rey gets hit with his own guitar!

Jeannie: Why does this crowd always throw trash when something they don’t like happens?

Tom: I blame Hulk Hogan’s heel turn.

*T.N.T. exit the ring, leaving Magnum and L. Rey down on the mat. Then, we cut to a promo for W*I*G’s next PPV.*

[James E. Colvin]

Tom: We can now take you live to a bar not far from the W*I*G-Sphere where we hear that Maeve O'Hare is preparing for her Bar-Room Brawl with Danny Taylor.

Jeannie: Oh I can only imagine what her “preparation” could be.

*Cut to the bar somewhere near the W*I*G-Sphere. The bar is empty except for one patron: Maeve O'Hare. She sits slumped over the bar with a glass in her hand. A row of empty glasses sit in front of her. She's not dressed in ring-gear. Rather she's wearing a pair of jeans, sneakers & a Republic Of Ireland football shirt. A door creaks open. Maeve continues to sit at the bar, nursing the dregs of a pint of Guinness. Whoever has entered the bar walks over to the pub jukebox & inserts a coin. After the machine goes through the process of picking out the requested record it starts playing. The song in question is, you guessed it, "God's Gonna Cut You Down" by the late Johnny Cash. Maeve spins around on her bar stool to face Danny who is dressed in blue jeans, a long sleeved blue & white shirt, and a ponytail sticking out of the back of a red truckers cap. As she enters it is clear she is accompanied by a referee.*

Jeannie: Yep, I was right. And how tacky is Danny with her match attire?

Tom: That referee is there just to count the pinfall or call a submission, folks. Anything goes in this match.

Jeannie: I asked a question.

Tom: You did?

Jeannie: ...you win this time.

*Maeve stands up, takes a final swig from her pint glass & walks right over to Danny. When the two are face-to-face, Maeve lets out an enormous belch. Danny recoils & shakes her head disgustedly. Maeve lunges right at Danny who is able to easily dodge the attack from the sozzled Maeve. Maeve goes spilling into a table. Danny picks Maeve up by the back of her jeans & shirt & tosses her back in the direction of the bar. Maeve crashes into the stools there as Danny gloats a little bit. Maeve tries to get back to her feet, a little shakily at first. Danny goes running at Maeve, presumably looking to finish this off quickly with a Taylor Bomb, but Maeve counters by smashing one of the bar-stools into Danny! Danny crumples to the floor, Maeve puts a single foot on Danny's chest...*

Jeannie: Come on quick win!

1...


Tom: I'm not so certain Danny could be taken out so quickly


2...



Jeannie: Let me have my mome-

KICKOUT!

Jeannie: DAMMIT!

*Danny manages to get her shoulder up before the ref's hand hits the floor for a third time. Maeve bends over to pick Danny up. Danny attempts to trap Maeve in a Small Package...*

1...

Jeannie: If it ends this way


2...


Tom: This would be a rather quick win for Danny, but she might have Maeve's numb-


KICKOUT!

Jeannie: Thank you Maeve. Now kick her ass!

Tom: ...Biased are we?

Jeannie: Shut up, I have my reasons.

*Maeve manages to escape, but as soon as she does, she's back flat on her ass again. Danny takes a few steps back, three to the left & aims a stiff kick right at Maeve's chest. Her knee also hits Maeve in the face. Maeve rolls over in pain, her hand up to her face. Maeve takes her hand away & sees her blood pooling in her own hand. She's bleeding from the nose. She gets right up, not wavering this time, & runs towards Danny again. Maeve fakes Danny out. As Danny goes to dodge Maeve's attack, Maeve suddenly switches directions & the two women collide. Both fall on their asses again. Danny because of the force she was running, Maeve because she's fairly drunk. Maeve starts giggling a little bit as she stands up again. Danny has a look of frustration on her face. The two stand face-to-face again. Danny gives Maeve a rough shove. Maeve stumbles back a bit, but doesn't actually fall. Maeve springs right forward & floors Danny with a huge Spear.*

Tom: What a Spear by Maeve! She was acting the whole time!

Jeannie: She's Irish! Even when she seems sober, I'll bet she's still kind of drunk!

*Maeve stomps & stomps at Danny as she lies on the floor. Maeve drags Danny back up again & whips her into the bar's pool table. Danny crashes back first into the edge of the table. As Maeve approaches, Danny reaches behind her. She brings round a pool cue & smacks Maeve right in the head with it. Maeve goes down & Danny continues to whack away at Maeve with the pool cue. Danny reaches for something else on the pool table. She pulls out the triangle. She places it over Maeve's head & begins to try & choke her out with it!*

Tom: Looks like-

Jeannie: If you make ANY lame pool jokes, I am going to do a magic trick with this pen.

Tom: ...And Maeve needs to free herself quickly if she wants to maintain the breath she needs to power those muscles.

Jeannie: Was that so hard?

*Danny keeps the triangle around Maeve's neck as Maeve struggles to escape. Danny drives her knee into Maeve's back. It's clear Maeve's fading somewhat. The referee runs to the front to check on Maeve. The ref lifts Maeve's arm & it drops once... twice... He lifts it a third time...*

Tom: Looks like this could be it for Maeve.

Jeannie: Oh gods, can she go two minutes without almost being defeated?!

Tom: I don't know, why don't you ask her?

Jeannie: ...I like life.

*The referee lets go of Maeve's arm, but she's able to keep it up. She slowly begins to stand. The crowd back in the W*I*G-Sphere are cheering her on. She stands fully & manages to Snapmare Danny over. Maeve takes the triangle from off her neck & tosses it aside. Danny gets back standing again & charges right at Maeve. Maeve catches Danny & lifts her right over head with a Gorilla Press.*

Tom: Look at that display of strength by Maeve!

Jeannie: She could even give Rosie or Fannie Package a run for their money.

*Maeve carries Danny right over to the bar again & with a mighty heft, dumps her over the opposite side. Maeve goes to leap over the bar herself, but she's caught off guard as Danny throws a glass right in Maeve's face. Maeve staggers back. The referee checks to see if she's okay to continue. Maeve responds that she is, even though blood is starting to trickle down her face. With one hand on the bar, Maeve leaps over. Danny doesn't have time to throw another glass. The two women are now brawling behind the bar. As the two are locked together Maeve pushes forward. Danny & Maeve both stunble back into the bar's storage room. The camera man rushes behind the bar to keep up with the action, as does the referee. When the two men get there, Danny is hitting Maeve with an empty bottle crate. Maeve catches the weapon & tosses it aside. Danny tries to whip Maeve into the stack of beer kegs. Maeve reverses it & Danny crashes into the assemblage of steel drums. Maeve unhooks the pipes from one of the kegs & begins to choke Danny with it. Danny fights back by hitting Maeve a few digs in the head. Maeve releases Danny from the pipes. Danny stumbles forward & tries to get out of the cold-store.*

Tom: And Taylor heads for the hills away from those potentially dangerous steel drums.

Jeannie: Why does everything metal in wrestling have to be steel? Why not bronze or platinum... or iron?

Tom: Moving on...

*The cameraman exits the room just a few feet ahead of Danny. As Danny walks out she fails to see Maeve coming from behind & carrying a beer keg with her. Maeve hits Danny in the back with the keg. Danny crawls along the floor behind the bar. Maeve lifts the keg high hoping to drop it on Danny. Danny sweeps Maeve's legs out from under her & Maeve winds up on her back, the keg landing on her chest. Danny picks the keg up herself & holds it high overhead.*

Tom: Talk about the strength Maeve displayed earlier- It's clear Danny's no slouch either!

Jeannie: Where do these girls come from!? Seriously! AND WHY THE HELL CAN'T WE HAVE HAWT GUYS INSTEAD OF THESE CHICKS?!

Tom: Caps lock speaking only makes you look like an excitable loudmouth.

Jeannie: ...wha?

*Maeve rolls aside just as Danny drops the heavy metal keg. Maeve bashes Danny's head against one of the bar taps. Maeve pulls two of the taps on. She sticks Danny's head under one, trying to fill her mouth with beer & pulls a pint for herself from the other. Danny pulls back from the stream of alcohol, spitting it out on the ground. Maeve takes a swig from the pint she pulled & spits the beer into Danny's face. Danny stumbles about blindly for a moment & Maeve floors her with an elbow to the back of the head. Maeve drags Danny back around to the front of the bar & sets her up on one of the bar stools. The crowd back in the W*I*G-Sphere seem to have got the basic idea of what she's going for as they start chanting:*

"OLÉ! OLÉ! OLÉ! OLÉ! OLÉÉÉÉ! OLÉÉÉÉÉÉÉ!"

*Maeve takes a few steps back & hots Danny with an impressive Olé Kick. Maeve moves in for a quick cover...*

Jeannie: And Maeve has done it!

1...


Tom: Bit early, isn't it?


2...


Jeannie: Nah, match is over! I'm sure of it-


KICKOUT!

Jeannie: AWW DAMMIT! DIE YOU COUNTRY BITCH!

Tom: ..Impressive BOOT TO THE HEAD by Maeve regardless.

*Maeve rises and looks disappointed that her display did not garner her a win. She shrugs, looking down at Danny then looks over at the bartender who has just brought her order she had placed early. Smiling widely, she pulls Danny back to her feet and over to the bar. Taylor tries to fight back weakly but she's still dazed by Maeve's KO inducing kick. She's lifted up to bar and sees what O'Hare's intentions are... Ultra Spicy Hotwings! Instantly Danny wakes and tries to push away from the plate, but it's too late! Maeve forces her face first into the red hot plate! The self professed role model squeals in pain and elbows Maeve in the face, freeing herself but exposing her mouth and eyes to the air which only causes the burning to worsen. Danny grabs ahold of her face and tries to wipe the buffalo grease off. One touch of Maeve's face herself, and the larger woman notices that her nose bleed has increased in blood loss thanks to Danny's elbows.*

Tom: Vicious blows by Danny in response to that improvised Hot Winged attack by Maeve.

Jeannie: ...She used....hot wings.....as a weapon... Wow.

Tom: Definitely unique.

Jeannie: Is that way we're calling it?

*A fury builds within Maeve at the sight of her own blood. She glares at the suffering Danny and levels her down with a Thrusting Big Boot. Bam! Danny's back slams against the bar immediately causing her to forget her face and try to remember to breathe. The truckers' hat hangs on only by the ponytail at this point while she struggles to make it to back to her feet. Hooking her opponent's head into a Front Face Lock and under the arm, Maeve tightens then lifts. The force of which propels Taylor back first onto the bar room floor and right next to the standing area for the bar. Miss Taylor lays flat on the floor perhaps wondering if she didn't make a mistake. But unrelenting is Maeve O'Hare, who methodically walks past Danny's head to her feet. One then both legs are hooked into Maeve's strong arms. The Irish woman smiles widely, blood tracing her lips, down at Danny.*

Maeve: Ready for a spin?

Tom: This doesn't bode well for Danny!

Jeannie: I think NOTHING Maeve does bodes well for Danny. Go Maeve!

*Sensing the worst Danny wisely grabs her head for protection. And rightfully so as Maeve torques her body to start slowly dragging Danny across the floor. Within mere seconds Danny is air borne in Maeve's Giant Swing.*

Tom: Round and round she does, where she stops only Maeve seems to know.

Jeannie: I think I do-

*BAM! Backfirst slams Danny against the bar yet again. Explosions of cheers fill the arena as Maeve stands tall over the gasping Danny. She drags the bar battered cowgirl from the bar and goes for another cover.*

Jeannie: DAYUM!


1...

Tom: That had to have ruptured at least one disc.

Kickout! ...by Maeve?!

*Indeed, Maeve holds Danny's head up by her hair.*

Tom: The Maeve pain train intended for Danny Taylor apparently has not pulled into her desired station yet.

Jeannie: AH! Screw her! Listening to you is worse than anything she's going through!

*Hooking around the head and arm yet again, Maeve uses her superior strength to pull the body of Danny to a standing position. Before Danny can fight back, or in realistic terms fall down, Maeve grabs her by the throat and the abdomen. Quaking from the feat she's about to partake in, O'Hare lifts Danny from the ground to over her head with both arms. Taylor helplessly flails her arms as she tries to throw Maeve's balance off. She succeeds but not in the way she would have probably wanted. Losing her base Maeve leans forward and runs with Danny above her head. As if cannon propelled, Danny goes flying over the bar from the massive push off of Maeve's hands and straight into the bar room mirror.*

Jeannie: HOLY HELL!

Tom: The amazingly strong Maeve has JUST thrown Danny back first straight into that huge mirror!

Jeannie: That thing shattered everywhere!

*The audience first expresses shock then cheers for Maeve's feat of hardcore aggression. Meanwhile Danny lands with a loud slam upon the ground just mere feet from the glass shards on the ground. Crunching of glass is heard as Maeve climbs over the bar. With no room to pin the downed and possibly bloodied Danny, Maeve attempts to lift Danny over the bar but she just can't get the dead weight up for long. O'Hare places her hands on her hips trying to think of what to do, pausing to wipe her bloodied nose with the bartender's towel. She tosses it over the bar then looks around for her next course. Getting a smart idea, Maeve grabs ahold of a familiar bottle then grins wickedly down at the fallen Danny.*

Jeannie: Hey! That's JD! ...I could use some right now, maybe it will make this match go by faster.

Tom: That's Jack Daniels for the young kids.

Jeannie: No words... for what I'm thinking right now.

*Unscrewing the cap off, Maeve takes a whiff of the bottle's contents and forces Danny's mouth open in the other.*

Jeannie: If Danny is lightweight, or straight edge, or something gay like that then this is going to be fun.

Tom: It's fun if beliefs are compromised?

Jeannie: ...Yes.

*With the intent known, Maeve shoves the bottle into Danny's mouth and rubs her throat at the same time. In record time, Danny recovers from being one step from a hospital bed stay and tries to get the hard liquor bottle out of her mouth. More and more empties from the bottle to down her gullet. In a last ditch effort Danny grabs a few shards and throws them at Maeve, who immediately covers up and lets go of the bottle. In a flash Danny pulls it out of her mouth, turns it upside down, and rises to meet the already standing Maeve. CRACK! Brown liquid and glass flies from the impact off of Maeve's head. The viciousness of the blow sends the big woman to her back on top of the bar. Danny goes to step towards her but stumbles and leans against the bar.*

Tom: I think this match has taken it's toll upon Danny Taylor.

Jeannie: That or the fifth of Jack she was forced to swallow.

*Regaining her composure for the time being, Danny walks to where Maeve is down and slams the back of her head on the bar. And again. She grabs ahold of Maeve's body and pushes her to go further down the bar, but she doesn't move very far.*

Jeannie: Looks like Danny's not aware the movies basically wax the bar.

Tom: To be fair, she could be not even aware she's in a match at this point.

*Taylor pushes Maeve down further, stopping to again slam her head against the bar. A brush to clear her now messy hair shows Danny that she has in fact been busted wide open somewhere on her scalp. She wipes the blood off on Maeve and socks her hard in the face. Again she drags her along the bar near reaching the end. The adrenaline within her has died down greatly. She slumps back against the inside of the bar as Maeve groans on the bar, though probably not in the way she would want. Danny throws herself back at Maeve and brutally slams Maeve's head again & again on the bar before shoving her off it entirely.*

Tom: Looks like Danny is blowing off some aggression on Maeve.

Jeannie: Yes, very “role model”ish. Oh and a lesson for her, only movie bar counters allow for someone to slid the whole way. Moron.

Tom: Her way seemed effective, though.

Jeannie: If by effective you mean pointless, then yes. All she did was waste time enough for Maeve to recover. And that's not a mistake I would make.

*Clumsily, Danny lifts one leg upon the bar then pushes off with her other to get on the bar. Rolling off the rest of the way, she makes it back to her feet. Though at this point it's quite obvious she has the rubber legs. Trying to her best to shrug it off Danny boots Maeve hard in the stomach then stomps on her face. She stops the onslaught as she spies a holey wall and in the center, a dart board. Then she locates the darts sitting to her left near a pool table. Nodding to herself, Danny grabs Maeve's head and drags her over to the wall. Despite herself, lack of strength mixed with the match toll and booze, she manages to lift the larger woman to a leaning position against the wall. She steps away as Maeve leans barely into an upright position, her head resting upon the dart board. A hand reaches over to the darts to a chorus of boos which reach a fever pitch as Danny begins to aim her first dart.*

Tom: Oh this can't be good!

Jeannie: This certainly won't end well. And by that I mean Danny being forced to retire. I haven't forgotten about Tristan!

*Out of nowhere Maeve springs to life and charges Danny, who is surprised so badly that she drops her darts and tries for a defensive stance. But she's too late to stop the brunt of the blow as she's taken down by a Clothesline not unlike her own. Maeve falls to her knees next to the downed Danny. The match has seemingly taken more from these ladies that what they probably expected before entering. The youngest member of Team Ireland stares down at her opponent as her whole body aids in her breathing. Enough is enough, it's time to end this match. Rubbing the back of her pained neck, Maeve positions herself behind the rising Danny and motions for her to rise. The crowd back at the W*I*G-Sphere begins to cheer uncontrollably as they want to see a Cooley Cattle Drive. Voices echo louder off the walls as she locks in the Cobra Clutch just as Danny makes all the way up to her feet.*

Jeannie: GO MAEVE! SEND HER TO A HOSPITAL BED!

Tom: If Maeve can lift Danny up then this match is over.

Jeannie: And that would be a dream come true.

*Danny struggles to free herself from the clutch with all her might. She throws wild punches with her free hand, she tries kicking backward, headbutting backwards, and even foot stomps. NOTHING can break the mighty grip of Maeve O'Hare. The blonde lifts Danny up but Danny blocks! The raven haired Danny almost cries in frustration but slowly emotion seeps out of her face. Previous damage, Maeve's superior strength, and a fifth of Jack Daniels has aided in making the Greeley Gal begin to rapidly fade. A second time Maeve goes to lift to finish Danny off, but yet again she hooks her leg around O'Hare's. Miss O'Hare tightens her grip even more, refusing to let go. With her free hand Danny tugs at the choking grip as she starts what would be probably considered her death rattle: a run in a circle. But it's only succeeding in tiring herself out faster, forcing all of Maeve's weight with her as she jogs.*

Tom: I don't know what Danny could be doing here-

Jeannie: Losing? Failing? About to be knocked out by the better Maeve?

Tom: I meant I don't know how that will free her.

Jeannie: Don't you get it? Maeve has it locked in. This match is over!

*At what looks to be her last circle Danny runs in a straight line toward a pictured wall with a jukebox against it. The very same that played her entrance them before she entered this Hellish playground. On the other hand, Maeve smiles an all known grin as she realizes the match is hers.*

Jeannie: I'm grinning too! Go Maeve!

Tom: I'm afraid I'm going to have to agree with the both of you, the grip doesn't seem to be getting any weaker as Danny is trying everything she can.

*In mid run, the wall and jukebox mere feet away, Maeve goes to lift Danny for one last time. She's shocked at the ease but soon discovers why as Danny has jumped up by herself. Instantly Maeve discovers yet another problem as Taylor deadweights her and throws herself forward. Falling forward and running at the same time sends Danny onto the ground. The same could not be said for Maeve, however, as she trips over Danny and crashes head first straight into the jukebox. Gasps of shock fill the arena as Maeve's huge frame slumps from out of the jukebox.*

Jeannie: ...dayum.....

Tom: ....I think....Maeve....needs medical assistance.

Jeannie: ....duh...

*A pained groan escapes Danny, who rises very slowly. The wound that had be opened at the top of her head as leaked down past her forehead to her nose. She waivers back and forth, trying to stay upright. Yet spying O'Hare's surprising downfall gives her a new rush of adrenaline. Hand against her back, she pulls Maeve from out of the jukebox.*

Tom: Well, we have to commend Danny for aiding Maeve and hopefully calling for the end of the match.

Jeannie: Oh great, so she can pretend to be a hero yet again.

*And places her right into a Front Face Lock to loud boos.*

Tom: What?! The match is over! Why do that?

Jeannie: She makes me sick. You see, Tom!? You see?!

*With the rest of her strength, Danny throws herself backward to slam Maeve forehead first to the ground. Thud! Painfully Danny pushes the limp body of Maeve over and weakly covers her.*

Tom: And Danny with the highly unnecessary DRT.

Jeannie: Match over.

1...


Tom: Poor Maeve... She tried so hard...


2...


Jeannie: She'll be back, she has to! Someone has to shut Danny up! Come on, kick out!


3!

Jeannie: *sigh*

Tom: And the match is over.

Finkel: *From the arena* And your winner of the Bar Room Brawl... DANNY TAYLOR!

*Boos increase yet again, Danny Taylor is still undefeated. From the ground she waves the referee over and demands he help her out of the bar. He presses his mic and calls for EMTs for Maeve then begrudgingly helps Danny to her feet. Her self righteous smile is sickening as she continues to mouth: “I won.... I won”. The last image before the tron goes black is a motionless Maeve O'Hare.*

[James E. Colvin]

Backstage we find Ada Banshou standing in front of the taller Chick Aura, who has her arms crossed as she stares blankly into the camera.

Ada: Hello. Once more has Ms. Aura asked me to speak on her behalf, and on this evening, I shall simply do just that. Last time Ms. Aura was on WIG television, she and I were interrupted by an unusual video, featuring the Japanese numbers, and a rather unusual background. Ms. Aura wishes for me to say that this, however it may have appeared, did not startle or anger her in any way. Ms. Aura was simply caught off gaurd, and surprised.

Aura nods.

Ada: Ms. Aura is afraid of nobody in WIG, not even the male performers. She has no reason to be frightened, not even by the Women's division. Ms. Aura believes she has nothing to worry about, as her golden star is secure, and one day...Ms. Aura believes will be at the top of the hill. And as the battle royale last month proved, there is no woman, no fighting spirit in these women, that can-

Suddenly, once more does this promo get cut off and turned to static. Immediately, it's replaced with this-



We return back to the backstage area, where Ada is looking around, still confused by this action. Aura looks wide-eyed, her angered face landing square on the cameraman.

Chick: Get...out. GET OUT NOW.

She shoves the cameraman back, causing the camera and the person to fall, and things go back to a surprising static.

[James E. Colvin]

Here it is:

Finkel: The following match is scheduled for one fall and is for the W*I*G Tag Team Championships! Introducing first....

“Red Star” by The Birthday Massacre plays. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qht2cLY_55w

*White and Pink stars flutter around randomly, but as the 30 second mark strikes; the two of them hit center stage and turn purple. The lights immediately flare to red and black with white smoke pouring from the ramp. Two parasols flash out from behind the curtain. They twirl slowly at first, and then go faster. When they hit the top speed, the two girls step out from behind them, maneuvering them at their sides. They link their free arms together, spin for a moment before Shuga bends down on one knee, parasol in front of her. Koshinryo places her parasol above them as she wraps an arm around Shuga. The two women then throw their lace umbrellas into the air as a shower of red pours down and white-colored sparks flare up.*

Finkel: The challengers, coming down the aisle, at a combined weight of 290 pounds, from the Dark And The Light Theatre—KOSHINRYO AND SHUGA!

*The two stand, catch their parasols, and walk down the ramp. Inside the ring, Shuga sits down cross-legged and smiling as Koshinryo stands behind her, crossing the now-closed accoutrement above her head.*

Tom Bailey: It is now time for the W*I*G Tag Team Title match. This will be the first time these titles are defended, and it will feature an all-female team taking on an all-male team.

Jeannie Lawless: And, that all-male team better get out here quick! I need my White Boy fix!

*The White Boys’ music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHsDa9_HSlA

Finkel: Introducing first, at a combined weight of 450 pounds, from Mobile, Alabama—The W*I*G Tag Team Champions, THE WHITE BOYS.

*The White Boys come out to the boos of the crowd. They are both wearing black tights with the Alabama Flag down the legs and black boots. They have the W*I*G Tag Team Title belts around their waists. Justin is holding that Confederate guitar of his. They walk to the ring and enter it. Then, some pyro in the design of the Confederate Flag goes off.*

Tom: And, here are our W*I*G Tag Team Champions.

Jeannie: Oh God! They look so sexy with those belts around their waists!

*The referee takes both belts from Jason & Justin, shows them to Shuga & Koshinryo, and then displays them for the crowd to see. After handing them off to Finkel, he signals for the bell to ring. The ref also takes Justin’s guitar and gives it to Finkel as well. The two ladies glance at each other once, deciding Shuga to start off the match. In the champions' corner, Jason indicates he wishes to start but Justin jumps in front of him and walks forward to meet the smaller woman. Koshinryo and Jason move onto the apron. The Sweet Lolita wickedly grins back at stare down from Justin. They circle each other one then twice. At the start of the third half circle Justin stops and slaps his knee. Shuga pauses, confused at the sudden booing and the actions of Justin, but soon learns why after Jason strikes her from behind with a European Uppercut. The brothers tap fists as Shuga begins to rise. Koshinryo charges from her corner at them but is caught off guard by a Double Hip Toss. The referee calls for Jason to leave the ring, but he points out that no contact happened before he entered thus allowing him to be the legal man.*

Tom: It looks like the White Boys take an early lead with a little distraction.

Jeannie: They’re as smart as they are sexy.

Tom: Can you think of anything other than wanting to have sex with the White Boys?

Jeannie: Not when they’re around.

*With Justin slowly walking back to his corner and Koshinryo rubbing her back at hers, the official legal individuals are established. Shuga shakes out the cobwebs and narrows her lids at Jason. The two lock up with Jason getting the early advantage. However, Shuga's speed and lower center of gravity throw him off enough to be locked into a Wrist Lock. His face shows a sign of annoyance as he tries to reach the smaller Shuga, but she stays out of reach. With a jolt, he moves towards her only to have her pull the arm and spin it applying more pressure. The slight annoyance has now become painful. He grasps at his shoulder in an attempt to try to find an escape route. He circles the ring to throw Shuga off her groove and rolls forward. Much to his surprise she has followed, released the pressure but maintained the grip on his arm, and has locked in her Dollfie Bender Armbar.*

Tom: Jason tries to throw Shuga off, but she manages to lock him in the Dollfie Bender.

Jeannie: That girls is pretty strong and resourceful, but I want to lick honey off of Jason’s chest.

Tom: God, this is going to be a long match!

*Jason shakes his head at the referee asking him if he wants to give up. Reaching for the ropes to free himself, the trapped White Boy remembers the match they are in. Just as he does Justin arrives with a boot right to Shuga's head. Instantly the hold is released as well as Koshinryo's anger. She charges in to stop Justin's boots to her partner. He spies her out of the corner of his eyes and readies himself. They meet in blows at the ropes, totally ignoring the referee's meaningless count. With a push Justin frees himself momentarily. He grips the top rope with both hands and jumps up as the larger of the two women charges at him. His two legs wrap around her head while his arms keep him in the air. He smirks at his aerobatic display at Koshinryo. The living doll grins back at him and crunches down then with all her might pushes off on his legs. The sudden surge of momentum sends him sprawling over the top rope and landing forehead first on the apron. His head rebounds backward leading him to collapse on the outside mat much to the delight of the fans.*

Tom: Koshinryo sends Justin over the top rope as the crowd shows their pleasure with that.
Jeannie: They’re just jealous of Justin’s good looks!

Tom: Are you going to talk about anything other how sexy the White Boys are?

Jeannie: Probably not.

*Jason, shocked at the display, quickly grabs the head of Shuga and drags her to her feet. He locks up with the smaller woman and motions to Irish whip her towards her partner. But she reverses! He helplessly charges right into a Lolita Power Lariat.*

Tom: Lolita Power to Jason!

Jeannie: I thought it was puppy power.

Tom: Well, as far as Shuga and Koshinryo are concerned it’s Lolita Power.

*The two living dolls don't celebrate the turn of the tide, though, as they both grab Jason's head and proceed to drag him to a standing position. They maintain their grip as lock in three quarter facelocks on each side of his face. With perfect synchronization they charge at the ropes, attempting the same move used last time to embarrass the champions. Only this time they are surprised by the recovered Justin. As their feet touch the ropes he grabs a hold of them. Caught with unexpected resistance they slip and crash back into the mat. Koshinryo rolls out of the ring, holding her neck in pain.*

Tom: Uh-oh! Koshinryo may be out of this match.

Jeannie: I know who can give her a great neck rub, among other things.

Tom: Are those other things sex?

Jeannie: Yes, they are.

*Justin re-enters the ring to help the still standing Jason to tend to Shuga, who is rolling and feeling at her back. They pull her up by the arms and right into a Double Flapjack. Her small frame bounces off the mat with a thud. The unrelenting Boys use their strength advantage to pull her from her stomach up into the air and slam her back down in a Double Suplex. Shuga now resembles a doll in more ways than one as all her energy as now left her. The Boys drag Shuga back into the corner just as the referee is about to have a major conniption fit. With a quick step through the ropes Justin tags in officially for the first time. Justin, sensing a victory at hand, delivers a Leg Drop to the small woman. He immediately goes for the cover.*

Ref: .....1


......2


.......Kickout!

Tom: White Boys get the first pin of the match, but Shuga kicks out.

Jeannie: I think the White Boys are going to have to pull out a lot more heavier hitting double team moves if they want to retain their titles.

*Justin stands back up, feinting exhaustion to much boos, and tags back in Jason. Feeling like it's all but over, he stands by the head of Shuga and points at his elbow. In a flash he buries it in the center of her chest. She jolts upward from the impact only to have him push her back down. He goes for another cover.*

Ref: .....1


......2


.......Kickout!

Tom: It’s gonna take a lot more than an elbow to keep Shuga down.

Jeannie: Jason’s elbow can keep me down any day of the week.

Tom: I feel dirty calling this makes.

Jeannie: I feel dirty all the time, if you know what I mean.

*He looks at the referee in disbelief, starting to think the striped zebra is slow counting him. But just as he goes to speak to the referee about his “biased actions” Shuga jolts to life with a leap back to her feet. There she sees Jason charging toward her, Justin watching her from the apron, and Koshinryo recovered back at their corner eager to relief her. Instinctively, she Drop Toe Holds Jason face first into the ring ropes quickly releasing to rise to catch a Springboard Missile Dropkick to the chest. Just like that she's back on the ground. Justin goes for the cover but is quickly made aware that he is in fact not the legal man. He casts his eyes to the outside to see Jason is out of the ring checking his mouth for gap and nursing his neck. Knowing he can't get the pin, he decides for another tactic. He rolls outside the ring as Shuga nudges herself to her stomach. She starts crawling to her fresh partner to foot stomping and cheers. Just as she's halfway to home the new tactic of Justin is now known to all: his guitar.*

Tom: Uh-oh! Justin White is going for his guitar!

Jeannie: Maybe he’s gonna play her a song.

Tom: I doubt it.

Jeannie: What makes you say that?

Tom: Because he usually hits people with it.

Jeannie: So?

*Koshinryo looks frantic as she beckons Shuga to hurry. Justin climbs back into the ring just as Shuga is three feet away. He charges at her, arms raised and weapon in both hands. Just as he's about to bring it down upon her back Koshinryo tags in! Sensing danger he switches targets and aims at Koshinryo. She ducks! He swings again! She weaves around him. Jason starts to stir reaching for the bottom rope from his knees to enter back into the ring while Shuga has climbed up to a standing position, using the ropes for support. Koshinryo dodges again, near frustrated by the mismatch ratio of reach between her & Justin. He goes for another might overhead swing, which Koshinryo easily dodges. But unfortunately she was not the target this time. Wood explodes off of Shuga's head and she falls from her corner to the outside. It's quite clear from the blow that Koshinryo is now alone. The crowd boos loudly.*

Tom: Not this way, dammit! Justin has taken out Shuga with the guitar! Now, with Koshinryo alone, these ultimate opportunists the White Boys have this match won!

Jeannie: Not this way? Ultimate opportunists? When did you turn into Michael Cole?

Tom: Oh my God, you’re right! Someone get me some Gordon Solie tapes, STAT!

*Jason enters the ring. Both White Boys pick up Shuga and throw her out of the ring. Then, they charge at Koshinryo, grab her, and throw her into the ring with a double hip toss. Koshinryo gets up. They both charge at her, but Koshinryo dropkicks Justin. Jason pounces on her as she tries to get up, but Koshinryo hits Jason with an enzuigiri. Justin gets up and grabs Koshinryo, but she counters with a superkick. Jason gets up and charges at Koshinryo, but she hits him with a standing shiranui.*

Tom: Malice and Misery to Jason White! Koshinryo is holding her own against both White Boys.

Jeannie: Yeah, but how long can it last?

*Justin gets up. He turns around, and Koshinryo kicks him in the stomach and hits him with a spike DDT. She goes for a cover.*

Ref: .....1


......2


.......*Jason breaks up the cover.*

Tom: Nice Koshinryo to Justin White, but Jason stops her from getting the three count.

Jeannie: I think we’re going to see more and more double teaming now.

Tom: I think your right!

*Jason picks up Koshinryo and gives her several punches. However, she counters with some kicks and starts to get the upper hand against Jason. She suddenly runs to the ropes, bounces off them, and comes charging at Jason. But, Jason catches her with a flapjack lift dropped into a European uppercut. Then, Jason picks Koshinryo up off the mat and hits her with a European uppercut followed by a neckbreaker.*

Tom: Alabama Uppercuts Numbers 1 and 2 to Koshinryo.

Jeannie: Actually, Jason did the second Alabama Uppercut before the first Alabama Uppercut.

Tom: Does that really matter?

Jeannie: EVERYTHING MATTERS WHEN IT COMES TO THE WHITE BOYS!!!!

Tom: Okay! Okay! No need to yell.

Jeannie: Sorry, I just find them so sexy.

*Justin gets up as Jason picks up Koshinryo. Jason tells him to go onto the apron as he puts her in position for a powerbomb. Justin complies and then jumps onto the top rope as Jason lifts her up, and they hit her with a springboard leg lariat/powerbomb combo. The crowd boos the White Boys.*

Tom: The Rebel Rouser to Koshinryo. Things are looking good for the living dolls.

Jeannie: I feel a little sorry for these girls.

Tom: So, you’ll be cheering for them for the remainder of the match.

Jeannie: I don’t feel THAT sorry for them.

*The White Boys get up. Justin picks up Koshinryo while Jason lies down on the mat and holds his legs up. Then, Justin hits Koshinryo with an Alabama Slam onto Jason’s knees. The boos get louder.*

Tom: Ode To Robert E. Lee to Koshinryo.

Jeannie: It looks like the White Boys will be doing what General Lee didn’t, and that is win.

Tom: I don’t think the White Boys would appreciate that joke.

Jeannie: Well, then I will give them a special apology later.

*Jason gets up and picks up Koshinryo. Then, he holds her while Justin moves onto the apron. He jumps onto the top rope, and they hit Koshinryo with a spinebuster/springboard spinning heel kick combo. The boos get louder and louder.*

Tom: Down The Alabama River. Now, the White Boys are just toying with Koshinryo.

Jeannie: Well, she is a living doll.

Tom: What?

Jeannie: You know, they’re playing with a doll!

Tom: That was bad, and you just said that the White Boys play with dolls.

Jeannie: Well then I’ll apologize for that as well!

*Justin gets up and picks up Koshinryo. He lifts her into a crucifix powerbomb and throws her off into Jason, who hits her with a neckbreaker. The boos are now deafening.*

Tom: Mississippi Burning to Koshinryo! Dammit! When are they just going to pin her and end this!?

Jeannie: The White Boys want to make sure she doesn’t kick out when they hit her with their finisher.

*The White Boys get up. Jason picks up Koshinryo and lifts her into a holding suplex. Justin jumps up, putting his knees into Koshinryo’s chest. And, they hit her with a front suplex/modified double knee chestbreaker.*

Tom: The South Will Rise Again! Finally, this thing will be over.

Jeannie: It looks like the White Boys will be retaining.

*Justin rolls her onto the mat and goes for a pin.*

Ref: .....1


......2


.......*Suddenly, Shuga comes from out of nowhere and dropkicks Justin in the side of his stomach, knocking him off of Koshinryo. The crowd pops loudly.*

Jeannie: I spoke too soon.

Tom: Shuga from out of nowhere with the save! We could be seeing a comeback!

*Jason quickly charges at Shuga and starts punching and kicking at his opponent. However, Shuga fights back. Both of them fight into the corner, taking the referee with them. He tries to break them apart so that he can get out of the corner. Meanwhile, Justin gets up holding his side. He sees Koshinryo stirring around, crawling to the ropes, and trying to pull herself up. Justin quickly exits the ring and grabs a chair. Jason and Shuga are still fighting in the corner as the ref tries to get himself out of the corner. Koshinryo pulls herself up with the ropes. Justin enters the ring and waits for Koshinryo to full pull herself up. She does and turns around. Justin hits Koshinryo with the chair. She falls to the mat. Justin throws the chair away. The crowd boos. Meanwhile, the ref finally gets himself out of the corner. Jason and Shuga continue fighting. Justin covers Koshinryo. Shuga tries to break up the count, but Jason holds her back. The ref makes the count.*

Ref: .....1


......2


.......3! *The bell rings, and the crowd boos.*

Finkel: Here are your winners, and STILL W*I*G Tag Team Champions—THE WHITE BOYS!

Tom: I don’t believe this! The White Boys retain thanks to a chair shot to Koshinryo!

Jeannie: It wasn’t fair, but it got the job done. And, the White Boys are still W*I*G Tag Team Champions.

*Justin gets up. Jason continues pounding on Shuga and Justin joins her. The crowd continues to boo the White Boys.*

Tom: What’s going on!? The match is over! Is this really necessary!?

Jeannie: They must still be pissed at Koshinryo and Shuga’s attack on Vindication.

*Jason picks up Shuga in a holding suplex, Justin jumps up onto her, and they hit her with The South Will Rise Again.*

Tom: And now Shuga has felt the South Will Rise Again!

Jeannie: Yep, they’re still pissed.

*The White Boys get up, looking angry. The ref hands the White Boys their W*I*G Tag Team Belts. They take them and exit the ring, leaving the fans booing and Koshinryo and Shuga lying on the mat.*

Tom: I can’t believe these two men are our Tag Team Champions.

Jeannie: You’d think the White Boys would be happy about this victory. Maybe I should go cheer them up.

Tom: Regardless, it’s pretty obvious that this thing between the White Boys and Koshinryo and Shuga is not over.

*Cut to a promo for W*I*G’s next PPV.*

[James E. Colvin]

Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for one fall... and it is for the WIG Women's Championship!

*"Man Eater" by Nelly Furtado starts up on the Colvintron, as the crowd gives a bit of a mixed reaction, though largely positive considering her opponent, as the muscular women steps out from the back, immediately beginning to pose for the crowd, showing off her huge muscles for them all.*

Finkel: Introducing the challenger, first, from San Francisco, California, weighing in at 285 pounds, Fannie Package!

Jeannie: Wait a second... "Women's Title"? Then what's that dude doing out there?

Tom: Give it a rest, Jeannie. Fannie Package was selected by Rosie to be the #1 contender after our Champion was unhappy with the way Fannie entered the Women's Battle Royal at Parade of Champions.

*Fannie quickly makes her down the rampway, climbing into the ring apron, and stepping over the ropes into the inside of the ring. She then steps into the center and begins to pose even further, a rather confident look on her face.*

Jeannie: She couldn't have picked a more feminine challenger?

Tom: Femininty isn't an issue. It's what they do in the ring that counts.

*As she stands in the ring, "St. Anger" immediately picks up on the Colvintron, the crowd now booing quite loudly, as the new WIG Women's Champion steps out from the back, belt wrapped around her neck, a huge sneer on her face. Accompanying her is fellow Innocent member, who simply has a rather stoic look on his face, as the entrance becomes bathed in a golden light.*

Finkel: And her opponent, representing the Innocent, accompanied to the ring by Earnest, from the Land of Purity, weighing in at 200 pounds, Rosie!

Jeannie: I just figured it out. Rosie obviously chose Fannie because she's the only possible challenger who could make her look good.

Tom: You didn't seem to think Fannie looked so bad a few days ago.

Jeannie:... Shutting up now.

*The crowd boos even louder for the champion, as she gives a rather annoyed scowl, stomping down towards the ring, the bigger man in tow, simply looking ahead, still suffering from his previous assault at the hands of Hensley it seems, as the champion quickly slides into the ring, stepping into the center of it, as Fannie backs off herself. She then holds that title aloft in the air, displaying it to the crowd, before quickly yanking it back down and slapping it across her shoulder, patting the plate of it and giving a rather satisfied sneer, the crowd booing even louder at this.*

Tom: This match will be a real barn-burner. Rosie is clearly very proud of that W*I*G Women's Championship.

*Fannie and Rosie immediately glance at each other from across the ring, as the champion hands over her belt to the official, who holds it up high himself for the crowd, before taking it to the outside and placing it out of harms way. He then returns to the ring, as the two "women" continue to eye each other, both of them looking quite confident of themselves, as the referee signals for the start of this contest.*

DING-DING!

*The bell sounds, and this match is immediately underway. Both of these "women" approach the center of the ring, as Rosie looks up a bit wide eyed at the size of Fannie compared to herself, who simply looks back down.*

Jeannie: Rosie may have been in many a fight, but she's clearly never had to battle against a woman like Fannie Package.

*Rosie then steps back and smirks, offering a test of strength with Miss Package. The muscular woman simply gives a rather confused look, but upon seeing Rosie positioning herself and motioning for a lock up, she seems happy to oblige.*

Tom: And her decision to go for a test of strength proves that. Fannie Package is the largest female in W*I*G, infact, she's one of the largest people in W*I*G, male or female.

Jeannie: Then just think what an acheivement it'll be if Fannie can get the better of her here.

*The two of them immediately lock hands, as Rosie quickly takes an early advantage, pushing Fannie back as hard as she can, Package looking a bit surprised at this, as it seems the rather stout woman is able to push her back at least slightly. Rosie simply looks back with a huge sneer, as she pushes even harder. Eventually, Fannie however simply flashes a rather sly smile, before pushing back hard, sending Rosie rolling along the ground, before landing seated on the mat, a rather shocked look on her face! The crowd cheers, as Fannie begins to pose to the crowd, showing off her impressive muscular body, as the champion simply rolls back to her feet, looking quite annoyed at this. Fannie then turns attention back to the woman, who signals for another lock up.*

Tom: And again? What, being humiliated once wasn't enough for you?

*Fannie simply rolls her eyes slightly, before stomping forward, deciding to humor her as they clasp hands once again, only for Rosie to immediately deliver a kick to the gut, hunching Fannie over slightly. She then follows with a quick series of clubs across the back, Fannie whincing slightly, as Rosie then bounces off the ropes, coming back with a shoulder block! Fannie raises back up, stumbling back slightly, as Rosie bounces off the other side of the ring, before charging in with a second shoulder attack, Fannie however sidestepping and flinging her over the rope with ease! The crowd cheers, Rosie grabbing onto the ropes and stopping herself from crashing to the outside, as she looks on with a particularly annoyed expression. She quickly rolls back into the ring, as Fannie poses once again, kissing her bicep proudly.*

Jeannie: The crowd seem to be loving Fannie Package... for some reason.

Tom: She's giving this crowd something they've wanted since W*I*G's inception. A person who can really take it to The Innocent & maybe get Rosie to shut up!

*The champion looks on with aggravation, now stalking Fannie from behind, charging in nailing her with a clothesline from behind, sending her hunched once again, as Rosie follows up with a few more vicious clubs across the back, Fannie grimacing a bit more, as Rosie continues to smash her arm across the bigger woman's body, sending her doubled over slightly as Rosie charges once again, only to get backdropped with ease, as Fannie launches her as she comes close!*

Tom: And Fannie gets the better of Rosie again.

Jeannie: If she maintains this form we could be seeing a new W*I*G Women's Champion already!

*Rosie grasps at her own back slightly, cursing under her breath, as Fannie quickly yanks the woman off the mat, scooping her up high, then slamming her across that back with ease, Rosie grasping at that back slightly, as Fannie then mounts her from atop, unloading with a series of unusually stinging girly slaps across the cheeks, Rosie grasping at those cheeks in pain, as Fannie quickly rises back to her feet, before grabbing Rosie by her hideous hairdo, then tossing her across the ring with a hairmare! Rosie goes sailing, crashing to the mat, as she rubs at her head slightly, Fannie taking the time to pose once again for the crowd, who once again cheer for some reason.*

Tom: fannie soaking in the adulation of this crowd again. They love her here tonight.

Jeannie: Do they love her or hate her opponent?

Tom: Hey, either way's good.

*Rosie pushes back to her feet, now looking particularly annoyed, as Fannie stomps forward once again, looking for a clothesline, Rosie however ducking under it, then grabbing Fannie from behind in a waistlock, trying to take Fannie to the mat, in fact almost successful at doing so! Fannie however stops her in mid air with a strong elbow to the side of the head, loosening Rosie's grip, as she immediately follows with a second clothesline, taking the WIG Woman's Champion to the mat! She quickly drops atop, looking for a cover.*

1...




2...




KICKOUT!

Jeannie: Fannie damn near had it won with that massive Clothesline!

Tom: The woman's got arms like tree-trunks! I'm amazed that Rosie kicked out.

*Rosie kicks out. Fannie looks down at this, yanking the champion back up once again by the hair, then quickly pulling her atop the shoulders into a Torture Rack! She sets up for the Dirty Little Secret, only for Rosie to counter with a vicious rake across the eyes, as Fannie whinces in pain, loosening her grip enough for Rosie to drop down. She immediately slips in front of her, now pounding quite viciously across her facial features, sending Package stumbling back slightly. She then comes off the ropes once again, leaping forward for a Bulldog Lariat! Fannie however manages to grab her in mid air, driving her down with a spinebuster! Rosie gasps slightly, grasping her back, as Fannie drops down, looking for a second cover.*

1...




2...



KICKOUT!

*Rosie kicks out once again.*

Tom: WHAT A SPINEBUSTER!

Jeannie: And still only a two-count! Fannie's going to have to give a lot more to become the W*I*G Women's Champion.

*Fannie simply yanks her back up by the hair off the mat, this time pulling her up for a powerbomb, only for Rosie to stop her in mid move with a headbutt across the face! Fannie grasps her face again, as the champion drops down to her feet, before quickly spinning around and delivering a rolling elbow right across the facial features, sending Fannie stumbling back, grasping at her jaw in pain. Rosie then backs up and charges again, delivering a nasty big boot right between the eyes, putting the challenger on her back!*

Jeannie: YOW! Fannie wasn't particularly good looking BEFORE this match. I dread to think what she's gonna look like now.

*The crowd boos, as Rosie takes a quick breather, then looks over to the outside, yelling something over at Earnest. The bigger man simply looks at her and nods slowly, walking over towards the ring apron and digging around underneath for something. Fannie has meanwhile rolled to the outside, grasping at her face, as she gets back to her feet. Rosie eyes this and smirks, slapping her knee, then immediately charging towards the outside again, sliding out and nailing Fannie in the face with a baseball slide, then grabbing her by the neck and following with a DDT! Fannie goes down, grasping at her neck, as Rosie simply yanks her back up by the neck, a very angry scowl on her face, as she begins to bludgeon the woman further with a series of stiff looking fists to the face, as Fannie staggers back against the barricade, Rosie charging right at her, only for Fannie to duck under, then nail the champion with a headbutt to the face! Rosie stumbles back against the barricade herself, as Fannie follows with another clothesline, sending her tumbling into the crowd!*

Tom: Now the match has spilled out into the fans here in the W*I*G-Sphere!

Jeannie: I doubt too many of them want to get close to either of these "women", though.

*The crowd cheers this, as Rosie gets back to her feet, just in time to receive a vicious Coin Purse to the face, sending her down to her knees, grasping at her cheek again, as Fannie follows up with a series of girly looking, but effective smacks across the face, sending Rosie stumbling back through the crowd, eventually fighting back with a series of fists in response, Fannie flinching a bit at these, but not letting up herself in this assault. The two of them battle as they wade through the crowd, each one nailing the other with a series of shots, until eventually they make their way back to the other side of the guardrail, as Rosie smashes Fannie in the face with a particularly strong punch, sending her stumbling back to the ring as she retreats.*

Jeannie: And another blow to the face. Fannie better know a good plastic surgeon. His last one obviously wasn't too good.

*Rosie then climbs atop the barricade herself, leaping at the woman and managing to knock her down to the ground, as she mounts and immediately follows up with a quick series of further fists, Fannie eventually managing to shove the champion off of her, as she rubs at her face slightly. Fannie quickly gets back to her feet, as Rosie grabs her by the arm, trying to send the woman into the steel steps. Fannie however counters by stopping her with this arm, swinging around with it, and delivering a one armed whip of her own, sending Rosie crashing back against it instead! The crowd cheers, as Fannie immediately stomps over, laying into the woman with a series of boots to the face, as Rosie pushes back to her feet, Fannie immediately scooping her up and taking her into a particularly vicious bear hug, as she squeezes tight around Rosie.*

Tom: And now Fannie is crushing Rosie with that Bear Hug! Fannie has finished opponents with that move before. This could be the end of Rosie's Title Reign.

Jeannie: Don't sound too happy, Tom. People might start to think you're biased.

*Rosie grimaces in pain, as she feels the pressure of this hold for a bit, but manages to counter, delivering a nasty ear clap in response, as Fannie stops, grabbing at the side of her head, allowing Rosie to slip away, gasping a bit for air. She then walks back over, snatching a steel chair from the piles of weapons Earnest has meanwhile unearthed from beneath the ring. She gives a rather vicious scowl, before stomping back over towards Fannie, rearing back and swinging for the fences at her face!*

Jeannie: Right in the face AGAIN! Good thing it's not about looks, right Tom?

*Fannie gets nailed hard, sending her staggering back, as Rosie then raises that chair once again, bringing it back across that muscular mug! Fannie however is still on her feet, wobbling slightly though from this assault. Rosie then smacks the side of that chair against the steel steps, before swinging hard, nailing Fannie right across the face, taking her down to the ground! She immediately climbs atop for the cover!*

1...





2...





KICKOUT!

*Fannie kicks out! Rosie looks a bit shocked at this, then angrily slams the chair into the ground with a thud.*

Tom: Rosie's vicious steel chair assault couldn't stop Fannie Package. The challenger's back up for more!

*Rosie then quickly pulls Fannie to her feet, only to get hoisted up with ease, then slammed into the ground herself with a powerslam! Rosie gasps in surprise, rubbing her back, as Fannie rubs her head from that previous assault, before looking for a cover.*

1...





2...





KICKOUT!

*Rosie kicks out. This time Fannie is the one that's annoyed, as she rises up to her feet, reaching down and grabbing that discarded steel chair, Rosie pushing back to her feet, as the muscular woman immediately brings it down across the champions back, stopping her in mid rise.*

Jeannie: Now Fannie's got a hold of that steel chair & she's using it to punish Rosie.

Tom: Turnabout's fair play. Now Fannie can exact some means of vengeance for Rosie's earlier attack.

*Rosie's eyes go wide, as Package raises that chair again, before bringing it down across the back once more! She then lifts it again, following with a third shot of her own, as Rosie goes back down, clutching further at her back. Fannie quickly rolls her over, looking for a second pin.*

1...




2...




SHOULDER UP!

*Rosie gets a shoulder up this time. Fannie discards that chair herself, now making her way over towards this weapon pile, only for Earnest to step right in her path, a rather solemn look in his eyes, as he halts Package's progress.*

Tom: The chair obviously didn;t do Fannie any favours as Rosie's still in this...

Jeannie: Hold on, Tom, check this out for a second!

*The muscular woman stares Earnest right in the eyes, before demanding that he let her have those weapons. Earnest simply shakes his head, prompting Package to deliver a Coin Purse right across his face! Earnest stumbles back slightly, looking on quite wide eyed, as Fannie bends down, only for Rosie to charge in from behind, grabbing and taking her into a bulldog to the ground, driving her face first into a second steel chair!*

Jeannie: I thought we were going to see the two big guys go at it!

Tom: Whatever... Regardless, Rosie now has things back in her favour.

Jeannie: And Fannie's face takes a pounding AGAIN! Maybe Rosie can actually beat her good-looking.

*Fannie grasps further at those features of her's, slowly getting to her feet, as Rosie grasps her own back, before scooping up a Kendo stick, raising it up high, then driving it right across the back of Fannie's skull! The muscular woman drops to her knees again, as Rosie rears back once more, this time snapping the damn weapon in half with the force! Fannie goes down, grasping the back of her skull, as Rosie walks over from behind, now stomping angrily across the back of it, sending Fannie rolling from this assault. She then reaches down into the pile of weapons, this time picking out a 2 x 4, the woman holding this lumber with glee, as she immediately grasps it like a baseball bat of sorts, smirking and looking to hit a proverbial home run, as she rears back, Fannie rising to her feet, as Rosie swings full speed, Package however managing to duck under it, as Rosie stumbles forward from the force, looking on in surprise, as Fannie immediately counters with a standing clothesline, taking Rosie back down off her feet. Fannie then immediately scoops up this 2x4, raising it high, then smashing it down right across Rosie's back! Rosie yelps in pain, dropping down and clutching further at her back, as Fannie then takes this weapon, holding it up high, then snapping it in two across her knee! The crowd cheers this, as Fannie immediately tosses the pieces away.*

Tom: Fannie breaks the 2x4 & throws it away. She doesn't need it to win this match.

Jeannie: Maybe not, but it'd sure help her alot.

*Fannie scoops Rosie up, then hoists her up high and drives her down with a powerbomb! Rosie grasps further at that back, eyes watering in pain, as Fannie stomps over, looking for a third pin attempt.*

1...





2...





SHOULDER UP!

Jeannie: Rosie is somehow, still able to go after that Powerbomb from Fannie Package!

*Rosie stills gets the shoulder up. Fannie looks on in surprise, as indeed Rosie is one tough bitch. Fannie simply yanks the champion to her feet once again, only to get a rake across the eyes once again, as Rosie immediately begins punching viciously away at that face again, Fannie stumbling once more, as it seems the champion has had enough of her opponent knocking her around. She then charges in, delivering a brutal lariat across the face with her arm, knocking Fannie off her feet once again, as the crowd boos quite loudly. Rosie then heads back over towards the weapon pile that's accumlated, digging around inside of it once again, though grasping at her back slightly as she does, before pulling out a simple bag.*

Tom: Did you see that bag Rosie just picked up? I wonder what's inside?

Jeannie: Whatever it is, I bet it hurts!

*She then motions to Earnest once again, who nods again, stomping over and grabbing a table from the outside, as Rosie commands him to set it up near the ring apron. The bigger man immediately does so, as Rosie meanwhile yanks Fannie up by her neck, quickly taking her into a Hangman's neckbreaker, keeping her down for the moment. She then walks over, bag in hand, before opening it quickly and dumping the contents all over the top of this table, as now a pile of broken glass is covering the thing.*

Jeannie: Oh my God! Broken glass! It's worse than I could have imagined!

Tom: I really don't like where this might be going!

*Rosie gives a huge sneer, as she then motions to Earnest, who heads over once again, the two of them now carrying Fannie over to the ring apron, as they both manage to set the muscular monster atop the apron, before Rosie leaps atop after her, grabbing her around the head and delivering a stiff knee to the face, dazing her further, before manuevering her towards the table, then leaping off and delivering a rolling powerbomb, driving Fannie back first into the table, which breaks in half with ease!*

Tom: SHE JUST POWERBOMBED FANNIE PACKAGE INTO THE BROKEN GLASS!

Jeannie: THE INNOCENT ARE NOTHING BUT SICK BASTARDS! LOOK AT THAT GLASS IN HER BACK!

*Fannie screams in pain, as she lays in the wreckage of this table and glass, the crowd now starting a more than appropriate "Holy Shit" chant! Rosie pants slightly, as it took quite a bit for her to pull that move off it seems. She quickly drops atop and hooks the leg, covering Package for the pin.*

1...





2...





3

NO!

*Fannie gets the shoulder up somehow. Rosie looks on in absolute shock, as she looks with anger down at her opponent, grasping the side of her head in disbelief. The crowd goes wild! Fannie meanwhile slowly sits up, revealing her muscular back to be quite cut up and bleeding, with a few splinters and glass pieces jutting out.*

Tom: Even MORE shocking, Fannie Package just kicked out after being put through the broken glass table!

Jeannie: How on Earth can these "women" still be going?! This is incredible!

*Rosie looks absolutely pissed now, as she rises up and shoves Earnest hard, now demanding he fetch something else. Earnest simply nods, before walking over towards an area near the rampway, which seems to have something hidden there. As he does so, Rosie mounts Fannie once again, pounding away at her face as she sits there, as the crowd boos this quite loudly. Earnest meanwhile returns, now holding a large board.*

Jeannie: And what now?

Tom: It seems The Innocent have even more unpleasant surprises in store for Fannie.

*Earnest then sets it down on the outside as well, before ripping off the cover of it, revealing it to be a large wooden plank of sorts, which is covered from end to end in... MOUSE TRAPS!*

Tom: This just gets worse & worse! If Fanie gets slammed on that thing it's definitely over for her!

*Rosie sees these and develops a huge sneer on her face, reaching down and brushing gently across the side of this wooden plank, as she looks back towards Fannie, motioning to Earnest once again, as the both of them tug her over, before hoisting the woman up with a two person powerbomb, Fannie however beginning to desperately slap her way free, as Earnest looses his grip, letting go and returning Fannie to her feet, as Rosie looks on in shock, Fannie immediately scooping her up high, then dropping her down across this board with a suplex! As the champion hits the surface, a number of loud snaps are heard, as Rosie lets out a loud cry of pain herself, eyes wide in pain!*

Tom: It back-fired! Now The Innocent get a taste of their own sadistic medicine!

*Fannie drops down to her knees, grasping desperately at her own back. a sharp pain being felt in her body. She slowly rises to her feet, before managing to make her way over, covering the champion for the pin.*

1...





2...





3

NO!


*But Rosie somehow gets the shoulder up again. Fannie can't believe it, as she looks wide eyed, grasping further at that back, as she slowly rises back to her feet, Rosie slowly following herself.*

Jeannie: Incredible! Both women are still going after all the abuse they've taken in this match! I can't believe it!

*The two of them slowly slip back into the ring, Fannie making it in first, as Rosie slowly turns around, motioning towards Earnest once again on the outside, as the crowd boos. The black haired man simply heads over, grabbing a second table and sliding it into the ring. Rosie meanwhile crawls over towards the nearby turnbuckle, laying back against it and taking a breather. Earnest then sets the table up in the center of the ring, propping it up with ease, as he then looks down towards Fannie on the ground. The bigger man simply reaches down, scooping her off the mat with ease, then setting her up, hoisting her high and taking her now into the Mood Killer!*

Tom: Now this is completely unfair! Earnest isn't a participant in this match!

Jeannie: I don't like it either, Tom, but it's No DQ. There's nothing that can be done about this.

*Fannie however desperately latches onto the man's legs, keeping her from going anywhere. Earnest seems a bit surprised at this, as he simply tries to pull back even harder, hoping to tug Package free. Eventually he does, but Fannie stops him with a headbutt right across the face! He stops and drops her immediately, grasping his head slightly, as Fannie then hoists him up high, pressing the nearly seven foot man over her head! The crowd gasps in disbelief, as Earnest looks on in shock himself!*

Tom: AMAZING! FANNIE PACKAGE LIFTED EARNEST RIGHT OVER HER HEAD! WHAT A DISPLAY OF STRENGTH!

Jeannie: And now she's got him on her shoulders... she's going for it...

*Fannie then somehow driving him down through the table with a Dirty Little Secret! The crowd explodes with cheers, as Fannie drops down to her knees, panting in disbelief herself, when suddenly, she gets a second kendo stick cracked right across her face!*

Tom: And now, Rosie to ruin Fannie's moment of triumph!

*The crowd boos loudly, as Rosie immediately takes that weapon, using it and applying a modifed Fury Grasp, as she begins to wrench and choke the air out of Package's lungs. The woman gasps in pain at this, wriggling around desperately as she tries to escape, but she doesn't have enough energy left to do so. Still, she refuses to submit, Rosie meanwhile continuing to throttle her from behind, as that weapon nearly bends from the force. Fannie soon begins to go under, eyes half shut now, as she feels the life being choked out of her. Thanks to the rules, the referee can't do anything about it, just like he couldn't do anything for anything that's happened in this match up.*

Tom: Fannie looks to be fading fast!

Jeannie: After pressing Earnest over her head & driving him through the table, who wouldn't be?

Tom: And in true Innocent fashion, Rosie exploits that opening!

*Eventually Fannie can take no more, as she falls under, eyes shutting, and muscular form going limp. The referee quickly runs over, checking on the challenger, then signaling for the bell.*

DING-DING-DING!

*The bell sounds, as the groggy champion slowly rises to her feet, grasping further at her back, as it seems there are still quite a few mouse traps hanging off there, spilling a bit of blood onto the canvas in the process.*

Finkel: Your winner of the match... and still WIG Women's Champion... Rosie!

Tom: I can't believe it! After such a hard-fought match, Fannie deserved a victory.

*The referee walks over with the belt, now presenting it to Rosie, who drops the weapon in her hands, before snatching it up, dropping to her knees slightly, as she gasps a bit herself, before hoisting that belt up high once again with a grin. Earnest is meanwhile down in the ring, laid out completely after that devastating move, as the crowd boos quite loudly, not at all happy with this result.*

Jeannie: From the looks of it, Rosie's kind of surprised herself!

*Rosie slowly crawls out of the ring, slipping to the outside and heading back towards the backstage area, as St. Anger starts up on the Colvintron. The champion flashes another huge sneer, hoisting that belt up once again, then slipping it around her neck. She slowly makes her way back up the rampway, grimacing further from the pain, before finally slipping out of the arena and to the backstage once again.*

Tom: Not really a champ we can be proud of.

*Meanwhile in the ring, Fannie Package is slowly sitting up herself, barely able to breath at the moment, as she gasps for air, rubbing at her throat in pain. She however manages to get up to her feet once again, as the crowd claps for her effort tonight. Package looks a bit surprised at this, but looks around the crowd and bows respectfully towards them all. She then makes her way out of the ring as well, climbing slowly up the rampway, as she clutches at her back, before disappearing as well.*

Jeannie: Fannie Package gave her all tonight. Rosie stole that victory from her.

*The only remaining person left in the ring now, Earnest, simply continues to lay there, pretty much down and out from that previous move. Eventually, he too rises to his feet, looking down towards the mat slowly, then simply exiting the ring himself, grasping desperately at his own back as he does so. As the ring is cleaned up from the wrath of this last match, we fade to a video package for the upcoming Jason Hereford vs. Chaz Stone Match*

[James E. Colvin]

Finkel: The following contest is scheduled for the number one contendership for the W*I*G World Heavyweight Championship title! The stipulations for this match are as follows—it is a ladder match between two competitors, and a briefcase containing a contract valid for ONE shot at the title at the next Pay per View. The first man to have the briefcase unhooked and in his hands wins the match, as well as the contract inside! Introducing first…

*“Living for the Weekend” starts up to a score of powerful boos as the dirty and grungy Jason Hereford steps onto the stage. He raises up one arm, two fingers extended, as the other crosses it at the elbow.*

Finkel: From San Diego, California, weighing in at 221 pounds…Jason HEREFORD!

*Jason walks down the ramp and the aisle, throwing harsh words at the angry audience members who are unlucky enough to catch a whiff of his terrible body odor, not to mention simply having to look at him and his scraggly, uncouth countenance, however good or bad it may actually be when cleaned up and groomed. He slides into the ring and climbs a turnbuckle, throwing up his pose again as the boos escalate.*

Lawless: Oh look, if it isn’t my favorite dirty man in wrestling.

Bailey: You know, when you look at his competition, Gene Snitsky, Mike Knox, Charlie Haas now and then…it’s really not saying a whole lot. I guess he’d call that pose the “Gilded Cross.”

Lawless: I don’t get it.


Bailey: You never get anything. It’s supposed to be a comment on how he tries to act like someone, despite being nobody.

Lawless: And this is why you fail—explaining your jokes. Among other things, Tom…

*Jason stands in the ring as his music fades out—as do the boos—waiting for his opponent. Suddenly, the lights go dead. The sound of a woman screaming is heard, and a spotlight focuses on the entrance ramp. A slender woman with hair as red as a Christmas ornament stumbles out from behind the curtain. She seems haggard and out of breath, and her Catholic schoolgirl uniform is disheveled and dingy-looking.*


Bailey: Wait, who's this?


Lawless: Yeah, who let this tramp in the building?


Bailey: I think she's in trouble...


Lady: *with a distinct Cajun twang in her voice* Help! Help! He's gonna kill me!


*The arena is thusly flooded with Alice Cooper's "Man Behind the Mask." As the lyrics kick in, a large, lumbering creature slowly parts the curtain. The dingy black coveralls and ratty brown field jacket are good hints at the creature's identity, but the white hockey mask and machete make it unmistakable--*


Bailey: It's motherfuckin' Jason Voorhees, and he's here to kill some bitches!

Lawless: Language!

Bailey: Oh, when's it stopped you?!

Lawless: That's different, and you know it! All I know is, that hooker let a hot-but-psycho killer in here, and he doesn't look happy.

Bailey: ...have you seen Jason without his mask?

Lawless: He can leave it on for all I care.


*As the hunted runs down the ramp, one of her high-heeled shoes gives out on her, and she tumbles to the ground. Jason never breaks pace as she turns around and starts backing down the ramp on hands and butt, the fear precipitated on her face. She butts up against the ring apron all too soon and sits still, frozen to the spot with terror. "Jason" lumbers ever closer, raising the machete above his head...*


Bailey: Oh God, there's gonna be a murder here...


Lawless: Yeah, yeah! Kill the wench!


Lady: AAAAIIIIIIIEEEEEE!

*"Jason" brings the machete down hard...lodging the blade into the ring. Jason looms as the lady uncurls herself fearfully. He climbs onto the ring apron, swings his leg over the top rope, and stares down his unfortunate foe, who seems rather disturbed by all of this. As the music reaches the second chorus, the man rips his mask off, revealing himself as Chaz Stone, simply celebrating the occasion.*


Lawless: Oh thank God, it's just my dreamboat.


Bailey: Chaz must be quite the horror fan--that costume was spot on! Wonder if he likes the Saw movies...


Lawless: Tom, nobody likes the Saw movies.


Bailey: ...I like the Saw movies...


Lawless: Then you're nobody. Now hush, the match is about to begin.


*Chaz removes his jacket and tosses it to the floor, where the previously-mentioned woman collects it and the machete, putting both in his corner of the ring. The bell rings, and the two men stare each other down, each regarding the other with no small degree of contempt. They circle each other around the ring, then lock up. Bad move for Jason, as Chaz quickly shoves him so hard, he backrolls towards Chaz's side of the ring. The lady outside starts cheering Chaz on, and Jason spins to face her, spewing some rotten words her way. Chaz takes the opportunity to slap him HARD across the back, getting his attention again. Chaz drags his opponent into the corner and sets up for his signature Yakuza kick, but Jason gets away easily. Chaz kicks the post, but seems unfazed. Using this moment's reprieve, Jason runs back to his side of the ring. Chaz bolts after his foe, who bails to the floor almost instantly. Jason goes for something under the ring, but Chaz grabs a handful of his greasy hair (with some difficulty--his hand slips through at first) and slams his face against the apron.*

Bailey: A quick, staggering shot from Chaz, trying to ruin the handsome features of Jason Hereford.

Lawless: More like gaining control of the match. Is there something you need to tell us here, Tom?

Bailey: Oh get off it!


*Chaz takes off against the ropes and goes for a baseball slide on the recovering man. Jason makes Chaz miss, then goes for a quick swing on the big man. Chaz shrugs off the hasty blow, then fires back with a haymaker of his own. Jason staggers back, and Chaz charges him. Jason drops down, but Chaz stops himself before colliding with the ring post. Jason tries to sneak in a superkick, but Chaz catches it and whips him around hard on his leg. Chaz easily scoops Jason off his feet and proceeds to drive him face-first into the ring post with a pretty flapjack. Jason falls to the outside mats, and Chaz takes the moment to search for something under the ring.*


Bailey: I think he's going for a ladder!


Lawless: *staring directly at Chaz's back* I know I like what I see.


Bailey: Of all the color people in the world, I'm stuck with you...


Lawless: I didn't ask for you, either, pal.


*Chaz does, in fact, pull out a ladder. As he does, though, a recovered Jason Hereford sneaks up behind him and, as Chaz turns back to him, superkicks the ladder into his chest. The impact causes Chaz to topple over, chucking the ladder away from both men. Jason wastes no time in locking in a side leg lock on his foe. Chaz struggles to sit up with Jason in tow, but eventually gets the leverage he needs. Chaz grabs him by the hair again and lays a fierce headbutt into the smaller man's temple. The force of the blow causes Jason to drop the hold. The lady goes to check on him, but Chaz shakes it off, assuring her he's okay with a small nod and a simple hand gesture.*


Bailey: The power of Chaz Stone displayed there.


Lawless: His strength is such that he can change the complexion of any match with a single, forceful move, just like that. With a single headbutt, he swings the meter of momentum back in his favor.


*Chaz throws the ladder into the ring, then does the same to Jason. Chaz rolls into the ring and picks Jason up. Jason lashes at Chaz with elbows to his beefy midsection. With Chaz doubled over, Jason runs to the ropes, then back to the down man, only to eat a big boot. Chaz grabs the smaller man and presses him above his head. Chaz presses him a few more times, showing off his obvious strength, but Jason wriggles out and nails Chaz with an Edge-o-matic. The stunning move gives Jason a chance to breathe and think; he makes the most of it and grabs the ladder. He opens the ladder, places the bottom step on Chaz's throat, and, while pulling up on the ropes, stands on the bottom step, drawing the jeers of the crowd. Chaz thrashes violently while Jason ascends, and just as he starts getting higher, Chaz manages to start lifting the ladder off his person. Chaz topples the ladder, but Jason lands safely on his feet.*


Bailey: That could've ended very badly for either man.


Lawless: I didn't want this match to be over yet, so thank goodness it didn't.


Bailey: Jason Hereford driving those kicks into Chaz's ribs for good measure, now he's going back for the ladder.


*Chaz is leaning against the ropes, reeling from the last ordeal. The lady is in a panic, and the crowd urges him back to action. Jason fungoes Chaz with a big blow with the butt of the ladder right in the chest, then backs up to take a big charge. Chaz ducks at the last second, causing the ladder to bounce out of Jason's hands. Not stopping his momentum, though, Jason flips over Chaz's back and lands smoothly on the apron. The ladder lands open in the middle of the ring. Jason takes a big swing at Chaz, getting nothing but air and an elbow bunt to the face for his trouble. Jason responds with an eye rake on the big man, to the chagrin of the crowd. Jason then gets a front facelock over the ropes. The crowd has an idea what's coming next, but Jason can't lift Chaz over the ropes. Instead, Chaz heaves him over the ropes in a suplex lift. He stalls for a good time, with the crowd counting time for him. When they reach the 30 second mark--and Jason's face is a wonderful shade of beet red--Chaz drops him violently backwards--back-first onto the open ladder! Without missing a beat, Chaz steps out to the apron. Showing off his agility, Chaz then jumps onto the top rope and delivers a springboard Flying Scotsman right onto the ladder, smashing Jason between the legs of the ladder, the ring canvas, and his mass.*


Bailey: Okay, he's not Jason Voorhees, but Chaz Stone might've just killed a bitch!


Lawless: But he couldn't have, he didn't even lay a hand on that woman at ringside!


Bailey: Or you, for that matter.


Lawless: *cold as ice* What was that, little man?


Bailey: You heard me.

*Chaz grabs the ladder, setting it up in the middle of the ring, but then goes back to do some more damage to Jason Hereford before beginning his ascent. Stone mounts him from the front, hitting a few big punches to the forehead, but then pulls himself right off and makes for the ladder. He begins to climb, but a dazed Hereford is able to pull himself up to his feet by using the ropes. He shakes his head, trying to recover his train of thought, and realizes Chaz Stone is more than halfway up the ladder already. Thinking fast, Jason runs to the ropes parallel to Stone’s side of the ladder, jumps on the bottom rope, hauls himself to the top, turns around and jumps toward Chaz, all in one fluid motion. Chaz turns around, trying to elbow him in the face, but Hereford jumps off too low for it to properly connect. It skims Jason on the upper part of the back, but Hereford manages to latch himself onto Chaz and puts him in a sleeper, scissoring the body and turning himself to force Chaz right off. Chaz and Jason both go down, but the latter is able to avoid taking much damage, as he releases the hold as the two fall and rolls to the side, avoiding being pancaked between Chaz and the ring mat.*

Bailey: Wow, a potential power play for both men, but we’re right back to square one!

*Jason and Chaz get back to their feet at roughly the same time. Jason throws a wide forearm which Chaz looks to block or parry, but Jason abruptly stops it a few inches from the mark and spins himself around the back of Stone. Jason hits a chop block to take Chaz down to his knees, before quickly getting up and running to the side of Chaz and back, to hit a heavy left knee. Chaz holds onto the side of his ribs, and once again Jason runs to his side, back into the ropes. It looks like he’s going to go for another knee lift, and Chaz pulls himself up, grabbing Jason in position for the Seattle Spinebuster. With Jason high up, above Stone’s head, the filthy Hereford throws a forearm right into Chaz’s nose, causing him to lose his grip as he slips out quickly, turning himself around and grabbing Chaz in a three-quarter face lock with his right arm. He makes a quick pump with his left arm and hits a snapmare driver that drills Chaz’s head right into the mat. Jason quickly rolls himself out of the ring and slips under. The lady at ringside checks under the apron, but to no avail; it’s too dark.*

Lawless: Now Jason’s using his brains a little bit…I do like a smart man.

Bailey: You like any and every man.

Lawless: Yeah, ‘cept maybe for you.

Bailey: …wait, where’s Jason Hereford going?

*Chaz leaves the ring, taking the ladder with him in case Jason decides to pull a cheap victory, and searches underneath the structure. Jason manages to re-emerge on a side that neither Chaz nor his entourage happen to be on, and is brandishing a baseball bat with both of his hands. Jason charges at Stone, who hears him coming and turns around, ladder in hand. Chaz puts the ladder up like a barricade, expecting a downward swing or a frontward thrust from Hereford, who instead baseball slide under and hits Stone in the legs once again, taking him down to his knees. Chaz tries to hit him with the ladder, pushing it downwards, but Hereford uses the bat as a lever to block it, rolling out of the way. The ladder is dropped by Chaz Stone who, now facing an unarmed Jason Hereford, runs for a spear—and it connects. Jason crumples backwards, the impact hitting him full-force. The crowd cheers for Chaz who gets right back up to his feet and clenches his fists. Chaz sets the ladder up outside, parallel to Jason Hereford, and climbs upwards to face him. The crowd begins to ignite in excitement and anticipation, and he gets to the top of the latter, waiting for Hereford to get up to his feet a little bit. Jason Hereford, on his hands and knees, scrambles for the bat that is only half a foot or so away from him. Chaz prepares to leap off, Hereford nearly in perfect position to get wiped out with a Flying Scotsman, but suddenly he notices the bat wedged between two of the lower steps of the ladder. Jason forces all his weight onto the baseball bat, and acting as a lever, it forces the device to leave its anchor and push forward on only two legs. Chaz tries to jump down from the ladder, but it’s too late as he finds himself sent flying forward and crashing down hard.*

Crowd: HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT! HOLY SHIT!

Bailey: The crowd is right, and I’m not sure if Chaz Stone’s okay—any fall like that is almost a guaranteed shift in momentum in this match!

*Hereford puts his hands on his hips, impressed with himself for his creativity, and walks towards the weakened Stone. He forces him into a corner, hitting a few forearms, and then slaps his face to add insult to the previous potential injury. The fans take offense; their amazement is quickly replaced with boos and cries of poor sportsmanship. He throws a few more forearms at Stone, who is still dazed, and hits a big knee to the jaw. Jason walks off to the Armenian announce table and pushes one of the two attending commentators out of his chair, before stealing his broadcasting monitor, ripping the cord out of the socket and marching back over to Chaz. He runs back towards the corner Chaz is in, puts the monitor in front of his right knee and lifts it up, flying straight at the heavier Chaz Stone. At the last second, Chaz is able to dodge as Jason sends his knee—with the monitor—right into the retaining barrier. He winces in pain, biting his lower lip, and turns around. Chaz clocks him with a big side elbow, sending him reeling, and goes for another—Jason quickly ducks, jumping behind the barrier and getting to his feet. Stone steps right over and tries to stomp Hereford, who, still lying on his back, kicks him straight in the gut. Chaz shrugs it off and picks Hereford up, but a thumb to the eye buys Jason some time. Hereford turns to a much cleaner looking fan—which isn’t really saying much—and tries to grab the beer bottle he’s clutching. The fan refuses to let go, so Jason simply grabs him by the shoulders and throws him into Chaz, who is forced to catch the man. Jason hops onto the barrier and runs toward Chaz, trying to hit a flying crossbody, and it hits him squarely, just as he releases the angry fan.*

Bailey: Oh come on, give me a break. Just when Jason Hereford seems to have come clean in this match, look what he does…

Lawless: I don’t mind, after all…I kind of like a man who plays dirty.

Bailey: *Disgusted groan*

*Jason hops the retaining barrier and makes a beeline for the ring, picking up the ladder and sliding it in. He slides into the ring as well and stands it up in the center. Jason begins to climb, but just as he’s about three quarters the way up he notices Chaz Stone storming into the ring, looking much angrier than before. Jason’s just about at the top, when all of a sudden Chaz grabs a hold of the ladder and begins to shake it violently, sending Jason toppling from it at a high speed. Jason crashes and gets back up to his feet, but is grabbed and Caber Tossed right out of the ring. But Chaz is hardly finished with him, much to the enjoyment of the crowd, and he rolls out approaches Jason. Jason Hereford quickly scuttles away on his knees, trying to slide back under the ring, but Chaz grabs him by one of his filthy boots. Chaz Stone pulls away, but Jason struggles to maintain a grip to whatever he has under the ring. Stone finally is able to pull him out from under the ring, and grabs Jason in position to suplex him after picking him up. Stone lifts him up and slams him right down on the side of the retaining barrier with a reverse suplex, and once more does Jason roll off, hiding behind. He clutches his stomach and moans, and Chaz again steps over the barrier. He picks Jason up and slams his head—hard—smack into the top of the retaining barrier. He does so a second time, and then a third. Chaz throws him over the top of the barrier and steps over, but Jason reveals what he was hiding. Taking a swing with a small hand mallet, he cracks Chaz right in the stomach, making him bend over, and then hits him again, making him stagger back. The smaller Hereford takes advantage of this momentum and whips Chaz right into the Armenian announce table.*

Bailey: I guess Jason Hereford just doesn’t like our special commentators Gregory Kojerian and Paul Garbackyan.

Lawless: Why exactly are they on the payroll?

Bailey: W*I*G has a high-power broadcasting deal with the nations of the Caucasus.

Lawless: The Caucasus?

Bailey: …you’d be surprised how many Azerbaijanis watch professional wrestling.

Lawless: But those two aren’t Azer—

Bailey *hands over his ears*: I can’t hear you, la-la-la!

*Hereford follows up on this assault, lifting the mallet and sending it down towards the stunned Chaz Stone, but Chaz is able to slide his head out of the way. He spins himself around, clobbering Jason with a closed fist and sending him flying across the table. The mallet disappears from immediate view, and Chaz regains his composure, nursing his rather sore head. Hereford gets up to his feet and throws a punch downward, but Stone easily blocks it and hoists Jason onto his shoulder, and gives him a powerslam right into the table. The foundation collapses—along with the rest of the announce table—and Jason groans as Chaz Stone bares his teeth. The fans erupt into cheers.*

Chaz: ALBA GU BRATH!

Bailey: And there we go—despite the constant assault from Jason Hereford, Chaz Stone has been able to fight it off and he’s back in control of this thing.

Lawless: This…thing? That’s the best you can come up with?

Bailey: Our foreign commentators stole all my good lines!

Lawless: Nevermind the fact you’ve never had any good lines…

*Chaz gets into the ring and begins climbing the ladder, much to the delight of the woman at ringside who cheers him on with the fans. Chaz Stone is just about at the top when Jason Hereford is back in the ring again! He’s half unconscious, walking in a manner befitting of a drunk, but his mind is still entirely on the match. Jason slams himself into the ladder, shoulder-first, forcing Chaz to climb down or drop off. Stone opts not to tumble like earlier, and meets Hereford on the mat. Hereford mocks a forearm, causing Chaz to attempt to parry, but Jason drops down to his knees and headbutts Chaz in the abdomen. Unfortunately for him, that’s still not a spot he’ll be able to inflict much damage upon, considering Stone’s physical condition, and Chaz simply clubs him across the back, full-force. Jason drops down, his arm nursing his lower back, and Chaz picks him up, putting his head between his legs and lifting him high up. The crowd begins to re-energize as they know what’s about to come next. Chaz puts Jason in a powerbomb position but flips him, causing him to be face-down and high above the mat.*

Bailey: I think we ALL know what he’s about to do!

*Chaz gets him up to maximum height and with all the force he can muster, throws his arms down hard and fast to execute the Edinburgh Crush! But his arms are empty, and following through, he notices the wily Jason Hereford grinning right behind him. Jason slipped right through at the height of the move, and now that he’s on his knees, is in no position for Chaz to crush him, as it were. Jason underhooks both of the arms from behind and hits Chaz with a dragon suplex to get him back off of his feet, head first. Hereford drops to a knee and recollects his thoughts. His mind encounters a breakthrough, and he exits the ring again. Expecting Chaz to still be down, Jason grabs a microphone cord and turns to run back into the ring, only to be grabbed and hit with a rib breaker. He gasps as Stone hits another one as Jason struggles, and Stone hits a third one shortly thereafter. Finally, he ends his onslaught with a fallaway slam that sends Jason Hereford flying onto the padding surrounding the ring, back-first.*

Bailey: A wonderfully-used Emerauld Reekie once again gives Chaz Stone the momentum shift he needs. Judging by the impact of those three successive moves, I think he’s just about clear to win this match—and the number one contendership!

*Chaz gets up to his feet, the crowd and the woman at ringside ecstatic, and he rolls himself into the ring. But as he walks over to the ladder, he notices a dizzy Jason Hereford drawing something from his pants, the filthy man struggling onto his knees and preparing a contingency plan. Chaz immediately exits the ring again, and stomps towards Jason, who is hunched over in the corner. Making haste, Stone grabs Hereford by both arms, but the more agile Jason Hereford is able to push himself off the retaining barrier with his feet, and use his momentum to force Chaz into the nearest ring post. He hits it with a thud, and Jason picks up his microphone cord. He wraps it around one side and then the other, and finally wraps the middle part of the cord around the throat of Chaz Stone. He raises his arms up and opens his hands, revealing…his bare hands. He snickers as he approaches the ladder, and ascends towards the briefcase located directly above. With his raw strength, Chaz manages to break the cord and haul himself into the ring. He makes no waste in terms of catching up to Jason Hereford who, tired from the repeated heavy moves, is climbing slowly enough for Chaz to reach him at the top. Jason mocks a brawl, causing Chaz to put his guard up, and then quickly slides down the ladder. He turns to the referee, who has been watching the entire thing, and grabbing him by the shirt, spins him and throws him right into the ladder. This forces the ladder to teeter enough to the point where Chaz has to drop back down in order to prevent himself from falling off and possibly suffering a compromising fall. He turns to face Hereford, grabbing him and easily overpowering him and clobbering him with a haymaker. Jason reels back and forth like a punch doll, but in his swing forward stops Chaz dead in his tracks—he delivers a blatant kick to the groin, causing Stone to bend over in pain. Jason manages to hit a Bodkin Facebuster, but both men hit the mat—Chaz from the move, and Jason from the fatigue from earlier.*

Lawless: Oh no!

Bailey: Oh no is right—Jason’s questionable tactics have brought this match to a stalemate, unfortunately, and now both men are practically running on fumes. And this match can’t end until one of the men has the briefcase!

*The referee pulls himself up to his feet, the crowd booing Hereford for his brazen disregard of how a ladder match is supposed to work, ethically speaking, and observes the spectacle at hand. Jason and Chaz are both getting up to their feet on similar terms. Hereford is up to a knee, and Chaz is up to his feet, still a bit sore from Hereford’s latest attack. He turns around, grabbing Hereford in a position for a Samoan drop, but Jason drops down behind him. Chaz turns around and Jason hits him with a European uppercut before sliding down around the legs. Jason kicks him in the crook of the knees, but Chaz turns around and clocks him in the head, sending him backwards. Hereford turns back with another European uppercut that is parried. Chaz picks him up around the waist to give him a belly-to-belly suplex, but Hereford rakes the eyes again. It gives Hereford enough time to slip behind Chaz, and get him in position for a full nelson slam. Chaz powers out, heaving Jason above his head, but Jason rolls out onto the mat and runs up to a turnbuckle, ricocheting off with a crossbody! Chaz grabs him in preparation for another Emerauld Reekie, but Jason resorts to biting him in the face and thrashing violently to force himself down on him.*

Bailey: Give me a freaking break here! Jason Hereford should be disqualified—for all we know that bite could be infected, especially considering his lack of personal hygiene.

Lawless: Yeah maybe, except for the fact that this is a ladder match, which is NO DISQUALIFICATION.

*Jason applauds himself as everyone else boos, and scales the nearest turnbuckle. He goes for a torpedo dropkick, but clearly takes too long. As he goes rocketing off, Chaz Stone is back up to his feet, more irate than before, and sidesteps the move, hitting him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Jason crumples to the mat, and Chaz Stone knows that now is his time. He looks at the downed Hereford, the screaming fans and the ladder, and makes his way up to the top, brushing a bead of sweat from his forehead. He ends up halfway up to the top, and Jason Hereford is still motionless. Finally he gets to the top and reaches for the locked briefcase.*

Lawless: He’s got it! I think he’s got it!

Bailey: This is what the crowd has been waiting for!

*Suddenly, Jason Hereford springs to his feet, an arm across his chest. He begins climbing up, not skipping a beat, and makes it to the top. Chaz Stone just about has the prize unhooked when he sees a filthy paw clutching the briefcase, and a sneer being directed at him. The other hand of Hereford’s also is on the hook, and both men pull in opposite directions, Chaz Stone clearly having an advantage. But Jason hooks his legs into the ladder, and pulls back, evening things up a bit. The two struggle over the briefcase, but in an instant, the case unhooks itself, with both of their hands on it! Both men stare at each other, their mouths agape and their eyes wide-open. The crowd is bewildered—the announcers are too—nobody has the slightest idea as to what to make of this event. The two once again begin to pull back. Jason leans back, but gets jerked forward by Chaz. The two men exchange blows back and forth. Hereford manages to hit Chaz with a few forearms, but then Chaz hits a big punch straight to the jaw. Once again, Hereford throws some forearms. Chaz throws a big punch. The cycle continues, but Hereford’s grip is slipping. Out of desperation, Hereford unhooks his legs and takes a wild kick at the head of Chaz—but Chaz is able to duck it, and releasing an arm from the briefcase with one clutching it tightly, throws a massive haymaker that causes Jason Hereford to release the contract briefcase and tumble from the top of the ladder, and onto the mat below!*

DING DING DING!

*The crowd roars in pleasure and excitement as “School’s Out for the Summer” kicks back in over the speakers. Chaz raises the briefcase—and his free arm—high up in the air, grinning as his entourage enters the ring and helps him down from the ladder. They celebrate as Jason Hereford, clutching his dirty head in anguish, lies motionless nearby.*

Bailey: HE DID IT! HE DID IT! Chaz Stone has won the Number 1 Contendership, and he’ll be facing either Andy Duke or Coltrane at the next Pay Per View event for the W*I*G World Heavyweight Championship title! Congratulations Chaz, you deserve every bit of that title shot!

Finkel: HERE IS YOUR WINNER…And NUMBER ONE CONTENDER FOR THE W*I*G WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP…CHAZ STOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!

*Hereford rolls out the ring and staggers up the ramp, his eyes intense with rage, his arms flailing about as he grinds his teeth. But Chaz, proud of his victory, continues to keep the briefcase raised and celebrates with the woman.*

[James E. Colvin]

*A referee clad in a long sleeved shirt, work boots & construction gloves stands waiting in the ring.*

*"Date with the Night" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs plays, as Andy Duke walks out to a fair number of cheers. He is wearing an old Cidal Squad T-shirt, jeans, and has his hands and arms taped heavily.

"I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be me.
I don't wanna be me... any more."

*Coltrane marches out, clad in his long flowing black coat as the W*I*G fans shower him with boos. Coltrane pauses a moment, he opens his coat & shows off his W*I*G Heavyweight Title Belt. This gets the crowd riled up all the more. Coltrane never acknowledges their reaction, not a sneer, not a smirk. His face remains entirely emotionless as he continues on towards the ring. Sensibly, he ditches his coat before entering through the criss-crossed Barbed-Wire ropes. Along with his usual ensemble, Coltrane has his hands heavily taped this evening, for obvious reasons. He reaches up to grab the Barbed-Wire ropes. He carefully steps through, making sure his trousers don't get caught on the barbs. In the ring he glares at Andy Duke as he removes his title belt & hands it to the referee.*

Howard Finkel: The following Barbed Wire Death Match, scheduled for one fall, is your Hallowe'en Hell co-main event of the evening & it is for the Wrestling's Innovative Genesis Heavyweight Championship.

*Cheers.*

Finkel: Introducing first, the challenger, standing in the corner to my left, representing The King's Court, he weighed in this morning at 228lbs, hailing from Chewelah, Washington, this is... AAAAN~DYYYYY... DUUUUUUUUUKE!!!

*More Cheers.*

Finkel: And his opponent standing in the corner to my right, from Queens, New York, he weighed in this morning at 234lbs, he is the current reigning & defending Pro Wrestling W*I*G Heavyweight Champion... COOOOOOOL~TRAAAAAAANE!

*The crowd boos. The referee takes the title belt from Coltrane's hands, shows it to both men & makes sure they understand the rules of the match before holding the belt up in the air.*

DING-DING!

*The two competitors look at each other, then at the Barbed Wire ropes, then at the Barbed Wire wrapped paraphernalia surrounding the ring. Neither man makes a move, 'til Duke suddenly lunges forward. He locks up collar & elbow style with Coltrane & tries to force him back to the Barbed Wire. Coltrane resists, he starts to push Duke back with as much force. Duke is inching ever closer to the Barbed Wire. With a sudden burst of energy, Duke pushes Coltrane back to the opposite side of the ring. Coltrane is mere inches from the Barbed Wire as Andy continues to force him back & Coltrane continues to resist. Coltrane suddenly turns Duke's attack around. Keeping Andy tied up, Coltrane swings around & Andy's back meets the Barbed Wire. The audience lets out a loud "Ooooh!" & the pain is etched on Andy's face.*

Tom: A back & forth there for a minute, but Andy Duke has become the first man in the match to get "Wired"!

Jeannie: He's smoking pot while wrestling?! That's completely unacceptable!

Tom: Oh, pot jokes. Those are always hilarious.

*Andy pulls himself free from the barbed-wire slowly. His shirt sticking slightly to the barbs. Coltrane charges at Andy like he's going to clothesline him back into the Barbed-Wire. Andy moves aside at the last second & Coltrane finds himself stuck in the wire.*

Tom: OUCH! Now Coltrane has run straight into the wire chest first!

Jeannie: I better... um... tend to these guys after this match.

*Andy drags Coltrane out of the wire, trying to roll him up with a School-Boy in the process...*

1...




2...




KICKOUT!

*Coltrane manages to escape the pin, but he's still clearly in a lot of pain. Andy goes to whip Andy into the wire again, Andy reverses the move, but Coltrane manages to slide out under the wire. While Coltrane is smirking to himself, Andy crashes right into him with a Baseball Slide to the outside. The force is so great it sends Coltrane right into the announce table. Andy follows on over, but Coltrane bashes his head off the table. Andy lies slumped over the announce table for a moment as Coltrane picks up a Barbed-Wire wrapped chair. Coltrane lifts the chair up & is about to bring it down on Andy when Duke rolls aside. Coltrane turns to face Duke again & gets the Barbed-Wire chair Dropkicked into his face! The crowd gives a collective "Ooooh!". Coltrane's face is now a bloody mess.*

Tom: Coltrane may well come to regret making this match a Barbed-Wire Death Match now!

Jeannie: Who wouldn't? I'd say even Alexa King feels a twinge of sympathy for him!

*Coltrane puts a hand up to his face & sees it covered in blood when he takes it away. He smiles chillingly. Andy charges right at Coltrane with a Lariat. Coltrane dodges & sends Andy into the steel steps by the ring. Duke crashes into the steps knees first & goes tumbling over them. He lands dangerously close to a Barbed-Wire covered board that lies by the ringside. Andy gets back to his feet. He lifts the top part of the steps (with quite an effort) & goes to use them on Coltrane. Coltrane dodges the attack, but catches sight of the Barbed-Wire board. Coltrane lifts the board (which is only plywood) & tosses it into the ring over the top "rope". At this point, Duke nails him in the back with the steps. Duke drops the steps & rolls Coltrane back into the ring, tossing the Barbed-Wire wrapped chair in after him. Duke grabs a Barbed-Wire wrapped Baseball Bat from ringside & brings that in with him. Andy crouches & waits for Coltrane to get back up. The second Coltrane does Andy runs right at him & hits him in the gut with the business end of the Barbed-Wire Bat. Coltrane doubles over, clutching his mid-section. Andy strikes again, bringing the bat down on Coltrane's back. Coltrane is down on all fours. He crawls towards the "ropes" for a moment's solace. Andy takes a run right at Coltrane & aims a strike at him. Just before Andy can hit, Coltrane falls onto the mat. Andy misses & ends up hitting the "ropes" with the bat. Andy's bat is entangled in the ropes. He struggles to get the weapon out for a moment, but the wires are too firmly entangled. Andy was so obsessed with releasing the bat he didn't notice Coltrane standing up behind him. Coltrane locks Andy in a Full Nelson & it seems he's about to hit Andy with a Dragon Suplex, but a swift Mule Kick from Andy puts paid to that idea!*

Jeannie: Coltrane tried to go for an Andy Duke style Dragon Suplex.

Tom: As we know, Coltrane likes to use his opponents moves to finish them off. Obviously, Andy Duke has prepared for Coltrane’s style.

*Coltrane is doubled over in agony & Duke has no intentions of letting that agony end. Andy positions himself behind Coltrane & lifts him as if for a Back Suplex, but instead drops him groin first on the top Barbed-Wire "rope". Coltrane looks like he couldn't possibly be in any more pain... until Duke smacks him again with the Barbed-Wire chair! Coltrane falls off the top & lands outside the ring. He seems to land quite hard on his right shoulder. Duke follows outside. He walks around to where Coltrane lies, still clutching at his bits in pain. Andy delivers a hard kick to Coltrane as he crawls across the floor on all fours. Blood drips from Coltrane's face onto the floor. Duke aims for another kick at Coltrane. Coltrane uses all his energy to lurch forward & avoid the kick, but Duke still catches him with a glancing blow. Coltrane grasps at the ring apron to drag himself back up. As Coltrane looks into the ring Duke grabs Coltrane's head & tries to drag him along the bottom "rope". Coltrane manages to catch Duke with a few back elbow shots. Duke staggers off & Coltrane forces Duke's face into the Barbed-Wire. Duke fights Coltrane off with a similar series of elbow shots. Duke rolls back into the ring very carefully. Coltrane follows him afterwards.*

Tom: Both men are clearly very evenly matched.

Jeannie: Coltrane really made a good choice picking Andy Duke to be his challenger. They make for an interesting pair-up.

Tom: Hey! I’m supposed to be the play-by-play. You go back to lusting after the guys & leave the serious stuff to me!

*The two men lock up again, neither seems to gain a clear advantage until Coltrane kicks Duke in the crotch as a measure of revenge. Coltrane lifts Duke up for a Suplex & drops him right onto the top the Barbed-Wire “rope”. Duke hangs there for a moment while Coltrane turns his attention to the referee. Coltrane shoves the ref & intimidates him into handing over a pair of wire snips.*

Tom: What's he doing? Those tools were given to the referee in case of an emergency in this match.

*Coltrane snips the wire that Duke is hanging on. Duke falls inside the ring. Coltrane snips the wire replacing all the ropes at that side of the ring. He attempts to roll Duke up in the lengths of Barbed-Wire.*

Jeannie: This is all too much! I don't think I can watch.

*The barbs stick into the fibre of Duke's clothing which is slowly starting to turn red. Coltrane carefully manoeuvres the wire around Andy to make sure he gets thoroughly tied up in it. Coltrane shoves Duke, now surrounded by a Barbed-Wire "cocoon" into a corner. Duke is barely able to move in the Barbed-Wire that surrounds him without doing himself an injury. Coltrane picks up the Barbed-Wire chair hoping to do more damage to Duke. As he does, though, Alexa King starts to come down to the ring. She's still dressed in her tattered, dirty clothes that she wore when Coltrane kidnapped her. Her feet are bare. Alexa is nearly crying again as she looks at Andy trapped in Barbed-Wire as she was while she was Coltrane's prisoner. Coltrane notices that Alexa has joined them. He drops the chair & heads outside the ring to approach Alexa. Duke is growing agitated inside the Barbed-Wire. A number of referees & backstage crew are trying to cut him free, but the fact that Duke is trying to get at Coltrane isn't helping. Most of the Barbed-Wire has been removed, but a few strands still surround Duke. He doesn't care as he pushes the officials aside & leaps out of the ring, crashing right into Coltrane!*

Tom: HOLY FRIJOLES! Andy Duke just turned himself into a Barbed-Wire missile!

*The crowd starts a well-earned chant of "HO~LY SHIT!". Duke & Coltrane are stuck together on the floor outside the ring. Officials intervene to clip more of the Barbed-Wire off Duke's body. Firstly, they get Coltrane free. He's bleeding from several parts of his body now. Coltrane keeps trying to attack Andy while the officials cut him from the Barbed-Wire. Alexa makes sure to also stay behind the row of officials & backstage personnel as they work to get Andy free.*

Jeannie: Looks like Duke's trapped pretty badly. Think they'll stop the match?

Tom: If I know Andy Duke like I think I do, he'll be too proud to let them stop this match. In fact, it looks like Duke may nearly be free now.

*The officials remove Andy's shirt which still has a few strands of wire stuck to it. Andy nearly collapses into Alexa's arms. Alexa weeps as she holds tightly to Andy. Coltrane has a sick look of glee on his face. He advances on Andy & Alexa. He picks up a long strand of the Barbed-Wire that was snipped off Andy earlier. Alexa cowers back, trying to take Andy with her. Andy tries to stand again, but he's beginning to weaken from losing so much blood through various tiny cuts. Coltrane wraps the Barbed-Wire around his hand & punches Andy right in the face. The wire scrapes along Andy's cheek & he's bleeding already. Andy falls down to one knee after Coltrane's vicious punch. Coltrane carefully unwraps the Barbed-Wire from his hand & keeps moving towards Alexa.*

Tom: That sick bastard, hasn't he tortured Alexa enough?

Jeannie: Coltrane needs to take his own advice & focus more on his wrestling & less on the people who surround him.

*Before Coltrane can manage to reach Alexa, Duke is back on his feet. He nails Coltrane with a forearm to the back of the head. Andy grabs the length of Barbed-Wire Coltrane had & uses it to attempt to garrotte Coltrane. Andy drives a knee into Coltrane's back, keeping the Barbed-Wire around his throat.*

Tom: Andy Duke has gone insane!

Jeannie: Coltrane threatened & tortured one of the people closest to Andy. I'd be more surprised if he didn't flip out a little.

*Andy keeps the wire around Coltrane's neck, until he looks up & sees Alexa. She seems to even be afraid of Andy's behaviour now. Andy drops the wire & releases Coltrane he rushes forward to Alexa. She nearly cowers back. Andy tries to assure her to not be afraid.*

Tom: It seems Alexa's really traumatised after her experience with Coltrane.

Jeannie: Being locked in a Barbed-Wire box for God knows how many days? Who wouldn't be?

Tom: But this seems worse than ever. I mean she's even grown fearful of Duke. Duke using the wire in that way is no better, in her eyes, than Coltrane.

*Duke tries to comfort Alexa, when he suddenly drops to his knees screaming in pain. Coltrane has that strand of wire & he uses it to whip the bare back of Andy. With Duke down, Coltrane turns to Alexa. He puts his hand to her chin & leans in close.*

Tom: That is a sick, sick man. Somebody get Coltrane away from her!

*As if in response to Tom's request, Andy Duke drags Coltrane away from Alexa, tossing him towards a ring post. Andy grabs Alexa by the shoulders & yells at her:*

Duke: GET OUT OF HERE, NOW!

*Alexa is frozen to the spot in fear for a moment. Andy turns his attention back to Coltrane. Duke rips open Coltrane's vest & unleashes a series of chops, each one eliciting a "WOOOO!" from the crowd. Each successive chop is turning Coltrane's chest a deeper & deeper red. After ten consecutive chops, Coltrane slumps to the floor. Andy turns around to Alexa who still stands rooted to the spot.*

Duke: GO... NOW!

*Alexa starts to move, but she sees Andy get attacked by Coltrane who is responding with his own set of chops to Andy's chest. Andy staggers backwards. Alexa fumbles about under the ring & pulls out a fluorescent light tube. Alexa makes her way over to where Coltrane & Duke are, erm, duking it out. She approaches, holding the light tube as if it were a sword. Coltrane looks at her slightly perturbed, Andy tries to convince her not to do this. Alexa mouths some words while pointing at Coltrane. They are inaudible to the audience.*

Tom: It seems now Alexa is seeking some retribution against Coltrane.

Jeannie: Again, can you really blame her? You saw his videos, the things he did to her. I'd like to get my hands on him myself.

Tom: I'm sure you would.

Jeannie: And for once I DON'T mean it in that way!

*Coltrane continues to back off while Andy does his best to talk Alexa down. She holds firmly to the light tube, but Andy, eventually, convinces her to set it down. As soon as she does, Coltrane attempts to make a return to the action. But, quick as a flash, Duke turns around & smashes the light tube right over Coltrane’s head with a sickening pop! Alexa’s face lights up & the crowd goes crazy!*

Tom: And isn’t it a treat to see that young lady smile again?

Jeannie: Duke finally scores a little payback for Alexa.

*Duke rolls Coltrane back into the ring & follows soon afterwards. He immediately goes for a cover…*

1…





2…





KICKOUT!

*Coltrane manages to escape the pinfall, but is still out. Andy picks up the Barbed-Wire Board that Coltrane put in the ring earlier. He sets it up in one of the corners where the “ropes” are still attached to the posts. After he does so, he’s cracked viciously in the back by the Barbed-Wire chair. Coltrane stands over him & drops the chair to the mat. Coltrane kicks the chair into a position & stands right in front of it. As soon as Andy stands again, Coltrane hooks him up for a Suplex & takes him up & over so Andy’s back lands right on the Barbed-Wire chair!*

Tom: That Barbed-Wire tearing right at the small of Andy Duke’s back!

Jeannie: Hey, keep an eye on Alexa!

*Alexa gasps in horror at ringside. She enters the ring through the area where the wires were cut off earlier & gets right up close to Coltrane. She starts pounding at his chest, which is still stinging from Duke’s series of Knife-Edge Chops. Coltrane turns his back to Alexa’s assault, but she jumps up onto his back trying to scratch & claw at his already bloody face. Coltrane grabs Alexa’s head & Snapmares her over onto the mat. Coltrane grabs Alexa by the hair & brings her over to the Barbed-Wire board propped in the corner. Alexa tries to resist as much as she can. Coltrane is too strong for her. He takes her right up close to the board, holding her face up to the Barbed-Wire. Alexa lets out a scream. Duke pulls Alexa away from Coltrane & shoves Coltrane onto the Barbed-Wire board in the corner. Andy turns to Alexa again.*

Duke: SERIOUSLY, LEAVE NOW!

*Alexa finally complies with Duke’s request. She exits the ring & heads backstage back up the ramp. Duke turns around & sees Coltrane pulling himself free of the Barbed-Wire board. Coltrane’s entire front is covered with tiny puncture marks. Coltrane’s face is contorted in absolute rage. He launches forward & lands on Duke with a Thesz press. Duke begins to punch back, though. The two men brawl on the ground for a moment before Duke manages to kick Coltrane away. Duke heads right for Coltrane who kicks him in the stomach, doubling him over. Coltrane hooks up Duke’s arms & it seems as if he’s about to go for a Tiger Bomb, but Duke manages to reverse the move. He, basically, Suplexes Coltrane back with both his arms hooked & traps Coltrane in a modified Northern Lights Suplex.*

1…





2…





KICKOUT!

*Coltrane just about has enough energy to escape. Duke takes the Barbed-Wire board he earlier set up in the corner & lays it down flat on the mat. He waits for Coltrane to stand again. Andy stands poised with his arms outstretched. The second Coltrane stands, Duke locks on the Full Nelson; he’s about to hoist Coltrane over with a Dragon Suplex, but Coltrane hits a Mule Kick to Andy’s groin! Andy doubles over again, clearly in a lot of pain. Coltrane takes a minute to recover from the punishment he’s taken. Both men are bent over, trying to regain some steam. The two of them glance up at each other. Simultaneously, they run towards each other & collide, the two hitting clotheslines at the same time. Both are down & the referee has started counting them out.*

1…



2…

Tom: Don’t tell me the match is going to end like this!

3…

Jeannie: It just can’t! Duke & Coltrane are too proud to let this happen!

4…

*The two men are beginning to stir a bit.*

5…

Tom: At least they’re showing signs of life.

6…
*Both are beginning to sit up.*

7…

*Duke is back up standing again.*

*The ref stops counting. Duke approaches Coltrane. He tries to set up near where he set the Barbed-Wire board earlier. Duke sets Coltrane up for a Northern Lights Suplex into the Barbed-Wire! Before Duke can hit the move, Coltrane gives him a few shots to the ribs. Coltrane lifts Duke up for a Suplex & drops him right onto the Barbed-Wire with a Gordbuster!*

Tom: OH MY GOD! COLTRANE DROPPING ANDY DUKE RIGHT INTO THAT BARBED WIRE!

Jeannie: THAT’S SICKENING! COLTRANE IS A SADISTIC BASTARD!

*Coltrane collapses back for a moment. The audience is screaming. They break into another chant of “HO~LY SHIT!”. Coltrane has a look of sick happiness on his face. He smirks as he looks at Duke stuck in the mess of tangled Barbed-Wire on the board! Coltrane stands up again He makes his way around to the feet of Andy Duke. Grabbing Andy by the ankles, Coltrane pulls Duke’s legs until he has him trapped in the inverted Lion Tamer, “The Cidal-Lock”!*

Tom: And what else should we expect of Coltrane but to try & use his opponents finishing move to end the match.

*The referee gets down in front of a bloody Andy Duke to ask him if he’s submitting. Duke hesitates for a moment, but he’s left with no option, he can’t crawl free from the Barbed-Wire. He’s bleeding profusely. He’s taken too much punishment. Duke, barely able to lift his right hand trapped in Barbed-Wire, taps out!*

DING-DING-DING!

Finkel: Here is your winner… & STILL W*I*G Heavyweight Champion… COOOOL~TRAAAAANE!

*The crowd gives a huge boo at this announcement. “I Don’t Wanna Be Me” plays again as Coltrane falls backwards, stumbling away from the Barbed-Wire board with a look of glee on his face.*

Tom: Dammit! That bastard managed to retain the title!

Jeannie: I think we should just be thankful that the match is over. Now neither man will have to continue going through such torture again.

*The referee raises Coltrane’s hand & gives him the W*I*G Heavyweight Title Belt. Coltrane holds the belt tightly to his chest & crawls towards the apron. He rolls out of the ring & holds the belt above his head as the crowd continues to boo him vociferously. Coltrane collapses to his knees at the bottom of the ramp. Medical personnel rush to the ring as well as a number of officials & backstage personnel as they try to help free Andy Duke. Coltrane continues to makes his exit. He barely manages to crawl up the ramp. He stands once more at the top, proudly holding the W*I*G Heavyweight Championship Belt again.*

Tom: Coltrane retains the title! After what he did to Alexa he still manages to emerge victorious. What a way to close Hallowe’en Hell. There’s no justice.

[James E. Colvin]

*We return back to the ring, which has been somewhat restored. The barbed-wire ropes are gone, but now the ring and surrounding area is littered with weapons; tables, chairs, a ladder, canes, a chain, a lead pipe, and much more.

Jeannie: Well, we have definitely seen a wide variety of hardcore action here tonight!

Tom: Indeed. This event is definitely living up to its name and claim. And its not even over yet.

Jeannie: I’m not sure if this match can get any more hardcore than our last one.

Tom: Well, these four individuals, and possibly others as well, will try their best. Lets send it to the Fink!

Fink: It is now time for your main event! In this Monsters Ball match, 4 men will compete. All weapons and moves are legal. There are no disqualifications and no count-outs. However, the only way to win is to either pin your opponent in the ring, or make him submit in the ring. Our first competitor….

*"I'll Whip Ya Head Boy" by 50 Cent plays, as Hardcore Hensley walks out to a mixed reaction. He goes to the far side of the outside of the ring. He already begins dismantling the announce table, and begins setting up another table.
Fink: From Richmond, California, weighing in at 252 pounds…Hardcore…. Hensley!

Tom: Lets see if Hensley can live up to his name here, tonight.

Jeannie: Well, it looks like he can’t wait for this match to begin. He’s already getting weapons ready!

Fink: The next competitor….

* “March to the Scaffold” plays. Joshua walks out to a chorus of boos. He enters the ring, and keeps his focus on Hensley on the outside. The referee steps between them.

Fink: Representing The Innocent, from the Land of Purity, weighing in at pounds…Joshua!

Tom: I have a feeling that this match will be right up Joshua’s alley.

Jeannie: Does the referee seriously think he can keep those two apart for long?

Tom: I can tell you one thing. I do not envy his job at all.

* “Born to the Fight” by the Waylander begins playing.

Fink: And the third competitor in this match….

*Shane Malone and Coach O’Hare walk out to the ring. For the first time, Hensley and Joshua quit staring at each other, and gaze at the big man.

Fink: Being accompanied to the ring by Coach Pat O’Hare, Representing Team Ireland, From Galway, Northern Ireland, weighing in at 307 pounds, making his W*I*G PPV Debut…he is the Celtic Giant…Shane Malone!

Tom: I’m curious to see what Malone can do in this match! He is by far the biggest man out here.

Jeannie: But that also makes him the biggest target out there! And I don’t care how big you are, most of the time, a good three-on-one attack takes you off your feet. I know it works on me. And we’re all the same height when we’re on our backs.

Tom:…I think you’d have more experience in that field than I would.

*Hensley enters the ring, as the three men stand, looking back and forth between each other, waiting for Exner. But no music begins to play. Multiple seconds go by.

Jeannie: Where is Exner? The crowd is getting impatient.
Tom: Well, based on the last we saw of Exner…I don’t know if we will see him here tonight.

*Suddenly, the arena goes completely black. A spotlight shines out onto the crowd, where it spots…Exner.

Tom: Look! Exner’s coming in through the crowd!

Jeannie: I have a feeling that Jonathan Doe and company aren’t too far behind.

*Exner slowly makes his way to ringside. His usually white shirt is rust-colored with blood. His mask his torn and dirty. The legs of his pants are fraying. His hair is matted and dirty. No music plays as he makes his way to the ring.

Fink: And the final competitor, from New York City, weighing in at 235 pounds…This…Is…Exner!

*Exner rolls into the ring, and is immediately met with stomps from Joshua. Quickly, Hensley and Malone join in. The bell rings, and this match is underway!

Jeannie: Joshua not wasting any time getting this match started.

Tom: Well, these men smelled blood in the water. It would at least appear that Exner is the weakest man in this match thanks to the torture he’s gone through at the hands of Jonathan Doe, so expect to see him taking a lot of the attacks in this match.

Jeannie: Speaking of Jonathan Doe, I can’t help but think he’ll be making an appearance here sooner rather than later.

Tom: I think I’d have to agree.

*Exner quickly rolls to the outside of the arena. He paces around like a madman, and pulls at his hair, exposing his back to the ring. Hensley quickly hits him with a baseball slide, knocking him out. The two begin to brawl on the outside. Malone and Joshua begin to size each other up.

Tom: I’m not doubting Joshua, but just based on size, I’m not liking his chances in a one-on-one battle with that giant Malone.

*Joshua hit’s a roundhouse kick to Malone’s neck, but it barely phases the big man. He connects with a lightning-fast karate kick to Malone’s groinal region, sending the big man down to one knee, and temporarily incapacitating him.

Jeannie: Ouch!

Tom: But that will take just about anyone down, regardless of size!

*Joshua turns his attention onto Hensley and Joshua brawling on the floor now. He runs towards them and….

Jeannie: Oh my!

Tom: Tope Suicida by Joshua!

Jeannie: Everyone pulling out the big stops here!

*Joshua hits the tope on Hensley and Exner, temporarily taking them out. All three men begin to rise and brawl, as Malone gets back up in the ring. He now focuses on the three on the outside.

Tom: What is he thinking?!?! He can’t be, can he?

Jeannie: I don’t know?! This is his W*I*G debut after all!

*Malone runs towards the ropes, and does a gigantic dive over the top rope, landing on the three outside. Everyone is out. The crowd is chanting “Holy Shit!”

Tom: Tope con Hilo by the big man!

Jeannie: That shook the whole arena!

Tom: This match so far has been, for lack of a better idiom, all killer and no filler. This match started at a high level, and these men look like they want to keep cranking it up.

Jeannie: I have no idea what that’s going to mean for them later on, and I’m not sure if I want to stick around to find out!

*Malone gets back up, and picks Exner up. Malone looks under the ring, and grabs a bag. Hensley and Joshua get up, and brawl on the outside. Joshua Irish whips Hensley into the stairs. Malone goes into the ring now, where he kicks a kneeling Exner in the head.

Jeannie: Is that what I think it is in that sack?

Tom: Usually when someone pulls out a bag in a match like this, it can only mean one thing…

*Malone raises the sack over his head, and turns it upside down, dumping its contents onto the canvas, revealing what we all already assumed…thumbtacks. Malone picks Exner up in a powerbomb position, but Exner is able to counter it by punching and head butting Malone. Exner lands on his feet, and moves behind Malone, stocking him. Coach O’Hare slides something into the ring, and Malone picks it up. Exner spins Malone around, but gets clocked in the head with whatever Coach threw in.

Jeannie: What was that?

Tom: I’m trying to catch a good glimpse…its that Hurley! But…its wrapped in barbed wire! Oh my!

*Malone gets behind Exner, who slowly gets to his feet. Malone gets him in a dragon-suplex position…

Jeannie: Can it be?

*Malone hit’s the Dragon Slayer into the thumbtacks! Exner is writhing around in pain, which is only causing more thumbtacks to get lodged deeper into his skin.

Tom: This match may be over!

*Malone goes for the cover…the referee gets into position….

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*Joshua gets into the ring and whips Malone across the back with a steel chain just in time to break up the pinfall. He continues whipping Malone across the back, as Exner slowly rolls through the tacks and out of the ring. He sits against the ring apron and begins picking tacks out of his skin, as a cameraman gets a close-up shot. Hundreds of tacks are lodged into Exner’s arms and torso. Another few dozen in his face; some in the mask, some in the exposed skin. One even appears to be stuck in Exner’s eye. Some are tangled in his matted hair.

Tom: Oh…Oh my!

Jeannie: I think I might be sick!

*Joshua is now choking Malone with the chain, as Hardcore Hensley enters the ring and attacks Joshua from behind with a kick. Malone rolls to the outside. However, it doesn’t take Joshua long to regain the advantage again, as he is able to hit Hensley in the face with the chain. He wraps the chain around Hensley’s neck, and picks him up.

Jeannie: What’s he going for, here?

Tom: I can’t even imagine at this point.

*Joshua tosses Hensley over the ropes to the floor. But because of the chain around his neck, he stops about two feet off the ground.

Tom: He’s trying to hang him!

Jeannie: Someone needs to stop Joshua, or he’s going to kill someone.

*Exner, who still has quite a bit of thumbtacks lodged in himself, springs up onto the apron, steel chair in hand, and he waffles Joshua over the head with it, causing him to release the grip on the chain. Hensley tumbles to the floor, where he is met by Malone. Malone grabs him, and hits an Irish Car bomb through a table, that was ironically set up by Hensley before the match began.

Jeannie: Normally, I’d say someone is out after that, but knowing the four men involved here tonight, nothing short of a bullet might not stop them.

Tom: Right you are. But I’d have to wager that Hardcore Hensley is going to be a non-factor for the next few moments, at least.

*Exner and Joshua are brawling on the inside of the ring. Exner still has the chair. He has been hitting Joshua with it, but Joshua appears to have been liking it. Exner is preparing for another chair shot, but Joshua stops him with a roundhouse kick to the chest. And then one to the neck. Exner is still holding the chair above his head, but, in his groggy state, lets it fall in front of his face, which is just the opportunity Joshua was looking for. Roundhouse kick to the chair, right into the face, completing the Soul Cleanser!

Jeannie: What an innovative use of that chair!

Tom: That might be enough to finish it!

Jeannie: And you gotta imagine that more damage was done to Exner than it would to anyone else right now. I mean, we saw the tack…and his…well…I can’t even say it.

Tom: Yes. That ocular impalement may be soon transformed into a full rupture of the eye.

*Joshua goes for the cover… The ref tries to get into position, but takes extra time to sweep away some tacks off the canvas.

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*Exner just barely kicks out!

Jeannie: How did he do that?

Tom: However he did it, he just proved that he has a ton of intestinal fortitude.

*Joshua is frustrated, and he goes to the outside and begins digging underneath the ring, as Exner slowly gets to his feet. Joshua pulls a table out from underneath the ring and slides it into the ring.

Tom: I don’t know if I want to know what he’s going to do with that!

*Meanwhile, on the other side of the ring, Malone lifts Hardcore Hensley up into the Giant’s Causeway, and then throws him through the announce table.

Jeannie: Whoa!

Tom: Aw dammit!
Jeannie: Our table!

Tom: Speaking of tables!

*Joshua has propped the table up into the corner adjacent to the side the announce table is on. Joshua goes to where Exner is staggering, and picks him up. He attempts to Irish whip him into the corner, but Exner reverses it, sending Joshua into the table. Exner charges after him, and hits the Fearful Symmetry through the table! Suddenly, a camera looks up the entrance way, and see’s Jonathan Doe, Cheyenne, and Damien, the members of the Pantheon. Exner sees them, and he glares up the entrance way, while he stands in the corner. Joshua rolls out to the apron, but Exner doesn’t seem to care.

Tom: What are they doing out here?

Jeannie: What do you mean? This match was suggested by them, or at least Jonathan, to punish Exner. It only makes sense that they’d be out here to witness the brutality first hand.

Tom: And brutal it has been.

*This distraction gives Malone enough time to sneak into the ring into the opposite corner. Exner notices eventually, but its too late at that point, as Malone is charging, and hit’s a gigantic spear through the already broken table! Exner quickly rolls to the outside.

Tom: SPEAR! SPEAR! SPEAR!

Jeannie: And Exner takes even more punishment tonight.

Tom: That’s got to make the Pantheon happy.

*The camera cuts to The Pantheon. Jonathan and Damien are indeed happy, but Cheyenne looks on, concerned. Meanwhile, Joshua is catching his breath on the apron, watching the action happening inside of it. Little did he know, but behind him, Hardcore Hensley had gotten up, and had begun stacking an array tables. Four in total. Hensley grabs the ring bell, springs to the apron, and hits Joshua with it. The shot doesn’t knock him out, but it makes him groggy. Hensley walks Joshua over to the ringpost, and he climbs. He hoists Joshua up into a powerbomb position.

Tom: Oh no!

Jeannie: We thought Hensley was done for good tonight, but now he has the chance to do that to someone else!

Tom: The fact that Hensley is even standing right now shows you not only how personal this issue with him and the Innocent is, but also, how much he wants to win!
*Hensley powerbombs Joshua, but only the two nearest tables break. Hensley almost falls off the top rope, but catches his balance.

Tom: Oh my!

Jeannie: Joshua has just been taken out! Powerbomb from the top rope through two tables to the floor!

Tom: And this crowd is loving it!

*Malone, however, climbs the second rope and gets behind Hensley. He punches him in the back, almost knocking him down to the arena floor. He turns Hensley around, climbs to the top rope and lifts him up…

Tom: No! Not this!

Jeannie: I think he’s going for it!

Tom: Indeed he is!

Jeannie and Tom: IRISH CAR BOMB!

*Malone jumps off the top rope, and hit’s the Irish Car Bomb through the two remaining tables. All four men are down on the outside; Exner from the spear, Joshua from the powerbomb, and now Malone and Hensley join them.

Tom: I can’t believe what I have seen here!

Jeannie: All four men are down, how is this gonna end?

Tom: Well, I honestly have no idea. Like you said, all four men are down. If they can’t get up, this ref is going to have to make a decision.

Jeannie: What kind of decision can he make? it’s a no-dq match!

Tom: But a pin or submission must happen in the ring! Not on the floor! And these fans can’t just sit here all night!

Jeannie: At this rate, some of them may want to. They’re loving every minute of this!

*The crowd is chanting “This match rules!”. Jonathan Doe, however, does not share the same ecstasy the crowd does, as he, followed by The Pantheon, march down to ringside.

Tom: Wait a second. What’s he doing?!?!

Jeannie: Yeah! This match has been relatively clean so far!

Tom: Just about as clean as a hardcore No-DQ street fight can be.

*Jonathan Doe goes and picks up Exner by the scruff of his shirt. He begins screaming, which the cameras pick up.

Doe: You think this is funny? Huh! C’mon!

*Exner, who is pretty much limp, barely lifts his head up, and spit’s a mixture of saliva and blood into Doe’s face. This angers Doe even more. He throws Exner into the ring, and follows after him, as does Damien and Cheyenne. Doe instructs Damien to lift Exner up, and he obliges. Doe runs, and hits a sickening big boot to an already limp Exner. Damien throws Exner to the canvas, as all three of the Pantheon leave to where Joshua, Malone, and Hensley are laying. Joshua and Hensley are not moving, but Malone begins to stir.

Jeannie: The ref needs to do something about The Pantheon!

Tom: What can he do!

*Doe begins screaming again, but this time, at the other competitors in the match.

Doe: C’mon! Isn’t somebody going to pin that animal?!?!? I already did the easy part! I took him out! I’ve been doing that for the last month! All you need to do is pin him! Come on!

*Doe gets up close in personal with Coach O’Hare, who is checking in on Malone.

Doe: Hey, make your worthless sack of muscle get the pin!

*Malone, after hearing the insult, gets up to his feet, with the help of O’Hare. He gets in Doe’s face, and pushes him down. Doe trips on a piece of broken table, and hits his head on the ring steps. Damien gets in Malone’s face, but Malone just brushes him aside, and enters the ring.

Jeannie: Well, that’s how you take care of business.

Tom: Malone just pretty much single-handedly took care of the Pantheon there.

Jeannie: But ironically, if Malone pins Exner, he’ll be doing exactly what they want him to.

Tom: Right you are!

*Malone picks Exner up, and hits an Irish Car bomb, but this time, with no weapons involved. Before going for the pin, however, he makes sure to see if Hensley, Joshua, The Pantheon, or anyone else are going to interfere. O’Hare gives him the go ahead, and Malone goes for the cover.

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*The bell, which had been recovered after being used as a weapon, is rung.

Finkel: Here is your winner, by pinfall…Shane Malone!

*Malone and O’Hare celebrate together in the ring, as medical crews help Hensley and Joshua to the back.

Jeannie: What a match!

Tom: And what a night!

Jeannie: It looks as though the Era of Team Ireland may be starting here tonight!

Tom: Indeed it may. And to the other three men who competed in this match but came up just short, my congratulations. You showed a lot of heart. And so did everyone who competed in all the matches here tonight.

Jeannie: One thing is for certain, Tom.

Tom: Yes Jeannie?

Jeannie: I can see why we do this event once a year. These men and women tore each other to shreds tonight.

Tom: Indeed. Well, for my partner Jeannie Lawless, owner James E. Colvin, and for all the fine folks here at W*I*G, we wish you a happy Halloween, and a great kickoff to your holiday season Good Nig…um, I think we may have a situation here.

*Jonathan Doe has arisen back up. His face is now covered in blood, thanks to falling on the steps head first. He grabs a microphone from Howard Finkel, and gets into the ring, and stands over Exner, who is beginning to get up.

Jeannie: Yeah, this is Jeannie Lawler, and if anyone in the back is listening, send some security out here.

Tom: Um, Hello there fans. What you’re seeing isn’t part of the show. So really, production team, just get all camera’s away from the ring, and send this thing home. I don’t even think we’re supposed to be on the air anymore.

*Jonathan Doe begins talking to Exner. Exner is now groggily standing. The crowd chants “He’s Hardcore”; directed towards Exner.

Doe: You really are stupid, aren’t you? After the last month, most people would have…well, most people probably would have died. Either way, they at least wouldn’t have come out here to fight. Most people would have quit fighting after having a thumbtack driven straight into their eye! Most people would have quit after being broken in half! But not you! You lost tonight, but that’s not the point! I designed this strictly to punish you, but you’re still standing!! You’re probably thinking, somewhere in that deranged, tangled brain of yours, that I’ve failed. But no. I haven’t even begun. Because you see, I found out what makes you tick. I found out how to finally end you. I found out what makes…what makes Exner…Exner. Its that mask! So, you either give it to me now, and live a normal life of shame like the rest of us, or you continue to hide yourself while I destroy you limb from limb.

*Exner gets in Doe’s face, but Cheyenne tries to wedge herself between the two men, but Exner gently pushes her aside.

Doe: So, what is it going to be?

Exner: If….you want this(he grabs his mask)….you’ll have to….take it.

*The lights suddenly go out! When they come back on, Exner is gone, but his bloody, torn mask is still in the ring. Doe looks at it horrified, and looks around the arena, expecting to see Exner. He quickly ushers his group out through the crowd.

*Fade to black.