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Post by C. M. Synthy on Feb 27, 2009 17:57:29 GMT -5
*The camera zones to the back. A dark hallway, scattered with a few fluorescent, moodly bulbs. Standing there is John Cena.*
Cena:...You know the drill people. I'm not the Thugaraparine. Standing here with me is a woman who recently caused a few waves with her challenge to current W*I*G Heavyweight Champion, Coltrane. Miss Eris, can you say what was going through your mind when that happened?
Synthy: *The woman is dressed to slay dragons in a violet frock coat with the sleeves ripped off and black leather pants. On her fuchsia locks lie a violet/black pinstripe fedora.* Herr Cena, you must understand something. I was acting on impulse. And it's an impulse I have every intention of acting upon. I didn't think anything about it- I just DID it. Coltrane may have beaten most everyone in the male locker room gunning for his title, but I have noticed he's never faced a woman.
Cena: And you feel you're the woman to do it? Don't get me wrong please, you'd kill me in an instant....I just mean that with women like Rosie and Chick Aura on the roster..
Synthy: That I might be a bit lackadaisacal on the ability factor? I know I'm not the largest woman. I'm in the medium category if anything. But face it, I am the only one who answered his challenge. And this was at the risk of an impatent Lexi wanting Tacos as I went out there to respond. Never get between that girl and tacos.
Cena: And what about his commentary on the fact that he thinks a woman in wrestling adds to the side-show effect?
Synthy: I don't blame him. After all, he's never faced a woman of my caliber, nor, in fact, a woman. The man wants to assume I'm nothing more then a side-show? Fine by me. I'll just kick his ass even harder.
*A slow clapping sound is heard from off-camera. Coltrane enters the frame wearing the ensemble that W*I*G fans have grown accustomed to seeing him in (does he wear anything else?). His coat is open, displaying the W*I*G World Heavyweight Title around his waist. He walks right up to Synthy, with a contemptuous smirk on his face. He stands over her & glares down in her direction. If Synthy is in anyway intimidated, she's certainly not showing it. Coltrane takes the microphone from John Cena & shoves the interviewer out of the shot.*
Coltrane: Bravo. Well done, Miss Eris. Very appropriate that in awards season a woman could try & give such a convincing performance & act as though she truly is not afraid of the challenge awaiting her. Unfortunately, it's too late to submit this footage for the approval of the Academy, but you're a shoe-in for next year.
*He pauses for a moment, seeming to be deep in thought.*
Coltrane: It's time to face the facts, Miss Eris. Have you not been paying attention to wrestling for the last century or so? It's a sport dominated by men. The biggest female names that most people could name are the women with over-inflated chests. These are the female role models that inspire women to enter wrestling. You think that anyone actually gives a damn about actual female acheivement in this sport? Women, like the comedians & gimmick performers, are dragging this sport down into the mire.
Synthy: *Suddenly, Synthy's face drops into a reaction saved only for one man seen on television before. A certain Casnaova that liked redheaded Jewelry.... Eris' face is vicious. Even Coltrane takes a meager step backward.* You ignorant twit. Idiot. Women are dragging this sport down? What the fuh-HELL is wrong with you? you honestly believe someone like Mike Knox or Bobby Dempsey would be a better opponent to face then Manami Toyota or MsChif because they're dudes? What the devil is wrong with you? *She pokes him in the chest with a sharp purple nail.* You chauvinist schwein! You know...at this rate, I don't care if I do win that title. I just want to beat your ass down from that chair you've built up so high. The higher you are...the better the impact of me making you bleed.
You think this is all an act? You honestly think that I'm hiding a fear of you? Let me inform you of something, Herr Coltrane. I haven't been scared of anything in over a decade. I wasn't scared when my sister was taken away. I wasn't scared when my best friend was hospitalized. And I am most certainly not afraid of an over-inflated, egotistiscal jackass such as yourself.
Coltrane: Oooh, Miss Eris, save your bluster. We are scheduled to have a match after all. I would hate to see that fire of yours exasperated before the match even takes place. We can stand here & crow about the position & state of women's wrestling, we can even discuss what we plan to do to eachother in the match, but it's all fruitless. Time will show who the true victor is. I will treat you no different than any other opponent. I will take what it is that makes you special & take you down in defeat. We agreed before that talk is cheap. Thus do I end my part in this conversation. It is in the ring that I want to see you prove yourself, not by talking to the world's biggest Thuganomics fan.
*Exit Coltrane. John Cena runs back on-screen.*
Cena: Did he just say I like John Cena? Why that...
*Cena is cut off as Synthy speaks once again.*
Synthy:....Shut up, Cena. I've seen you with that Thuganomics shirt..... Anyway, I must bid my adieu. If I stand here, I'm more then likely going to punch the very next person I see. So..until later, WIG audience....I'm going to hit the gym.
*Synthy pops her neck, and a very icy shade crosses into her eyes. A fire has been lit... but what exactly is the fire burning to do? She exists the scene, leaving Cena to mumble to himself.*
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BR Juri Sadamoto
Opener
Just your average, scarred Japanese-Irish American girl next door.
Broken Rose
Posts: 30
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Post by BR Juri Sadamoto on Mar 3, 2009 4:50:05 GMT -5
*Fade into see resident Super Cena hater and WIG interviewer, John Cena, staring into the camera. He receives his cue and clears his throat.*
Cena: Hello, I'm John Cena. NOT John Cena. As for why I haven't changed my name? Well he's the one that sucks!
*Awkward cough.*
Cena: Anyways! I'm here with the woman that pinned former undefeated Chick Aura at Beginning of the End. So now, please welcome my guest at this time... BR Juri "Guinness Girl" Sadamoto!
*The crowd cheers as the camera pulls back to show a grinning Juri. She nods at Cena.*
Juri: Hey John!
Cena: Hi. Juri, I have to ask you.... What the hell was that masked get up all about?
*He puts the mic in her face.*
Juri: *She lifts a brow* Really? You really have to ask?
Cena: Well... *He shrugs* Yeah?
Juri: Simple. I wasn't going to get another match against that woman who wishes she was me so much that she obsessed over me. So I did something that I knew couldn't fail. Outsmart her and her cage cleaner.
*Just then, Cena looks up behind Juri, a bit worried.*
Cena: Um...
Juri: *She bows her head and smiles* What? Is she behind me? That seems to be the ONLY way she can beat me.
*With that, she turns around. And surely enough, yes, Ada and Chick Aura are right behind Juri, Chick obviously not in a good mood.*
Ada: Miss Aura is not amused.
Juri: Happy Juri is happy.
*She points at her smile.*
Juri: I can do Internet jokes too.
Ada: Obviously, Ms. Aura was not prepared for you, nor your...alcoholic...means of portrayal. She wishes to have a rematch.
*Juri places her hand to her chin in mock deep thought.*
Juri: But... I thought you said you were going to beat whoever I picked for you to beat... *She snaps her fingers.* Doesn't that make you two liars?
Ada: Ms. Aura was not expecting your finisher for that match. She was, in fact, amazed you could even lift her up.
*Chick nods.*
Juri: Me too. *She taps Chick's stomach* Lay off the sticky buns, chicky.
*Chick glares with utter hate at Juri.*
Ada: At least this time, Ms. Aura is prepared for it. She knows all means of your finishers, and will counter it no matter how hard you try.
*He points a finger at Juri.*
Ada: And don't even think about the Kawai Kira, miss shattered collar bone.
Juri: Whoa... Whoa... Whoa... *She holds up both hands.* Why would I give a rematch to someone I clearly defeated? *She sneers at Chick.* I mean the outcome would be exactly the same if we were to have another match. Clearly I can beat you at any time. Heck, I can retire now after beating you. Either way, you'll always have a "L" with my name next to it.
*She lifts a finger to her chin.*
Juri: Did I cover all the BS you said to me before, or do I have to find some weakling to say it for me? 'Cause I think Jack Jupiter is here now. Hang on, I'll go get him.
Ada: NO! You will stay here, and listen to my offer.
Juri: *Folds her arms and snorts.* I don't have to do anything you say. Unless you tell me to kick your ass. I might do that. Though you seem like the type that would dig that sort of thing.
Ada:...you dare mock me?
Juri: What are you going to do, Ada Wong? Sic 'Miss Aura' on me? Ooo... Like that's a threat. You have to at least make sure my back is at least quarter turned and facing you.
Ada: You think this is silly business...but it's not. Ms. Aura wishes to face you in the harshest match possible.
*Aura looks at Ada, raising an eyebrow in confusion.*
Juri: She's going to show me pictures of her teen years? *Looks at Chick's confused face.* ...She might win that match.
Ada: No. This match...is violent. Deadly. And further more...it may very well end your career and life.
*Chick's face now sees her eyes bulging out of her sockets.*
Juri: *Dropping the sarcasm* What match we talking about?
Ada: Only the most vicious, Ms. Aura...Japanese Deathmatch.
Juri: ...I thought she hated my "garbage" matches.
*Aura nods, but it seems to go unnotived by both parties.*
Ada: She's shown how tough she is facing you...perhaps this is the best means of finally annihilating you, and showing who the true Joshi is.
Juri: Ah. But I have nothing to prove. Both here and in our native Japan, I am respected as a Joshi. Seems only you two fail to realiz-
Ada: Realize nothing. Ms. Aura was becoming a respected Joshi after you left...but she would be compared to you. She would never break out as her own self. Merely 'the next Broken Rose'.
Juri: More of an insult to me than anything.
Ada: If you thin-
*Chick then grabs Ada, and pulls him back. She glares at him, then looks over to Juri...and nods. Ada smiles.*
Ada: She accepts.
Juri: Does she now? *She looks off to the side then returns her gaze.* So do I. *She offers her hand to Chick.*
*Chick shakes on it. Juri pulls Chick in closer and looks at Ada.*
Juri: I don't care if she can speak English, I want you to repeat this to her in Japanese so I don't have to.
*Ada looks at Juri in curiosity. Sadamoto turns back to Chick, staring right into her eyes.*
Juri: I will bleed.
New scars will form.
My bones may break.
And I'll have to tack on an hour extra I'll need to crawl out of bed in the morning.
*She bows her head.*
Juri: ...But despite all of this, I will win.
*She points at Chick with resolve.*
Juri: ...Now... How are you going to end up?
*Ada says nothing. Chick says nothing. They both stare at one another for a moment, and then back at Juri. BR pulls her hand out of Chick's grasp. She narrows her eyes at Chick, perhaps searching for something. Chick backs away, looking at Ada questioning what happened...and Ada whispers into her ear. Chick's only response? Flip her off.*
Juri: Keep that fiery honor burning. If you chicken out on this match, it will belong to me.
*Chick nods, and she turns her back to Ada, snapping her fingers as she begins to walk away. Ada follows behind. Juri watches them leave but for a moment before walking away herself.*
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Post by Lana de la Croix on Mar 4, 2009 22:50:55 GMT -5
*The scene opens in what appears to be a weight room of some sort. The camera angle allows us to see only three pairs of legs: two pairs of shapely, if heavily muscled, legs—one set of which is kilted—and one pair of rather slender legs. The latter are settled around a weight bench, where their owner is currently engaged in a press, from the sound of things.
The camera pans up and we see that the two larger people are none other than Chaz Stone and his Colvin Cup partner, Fannie Package. Between them on the weight bench is Chaz’s protégé, Lana de la Croix. Chaz and Fannie are engaged in a discussion that goes over Lana’s head, both literally and metaphorically, about their upcoming match with TNT. Lana, for her part, seems focused on her task. The bar she’s currently pressing has the barest of weights on it, what appears to be no more than 7.5 pounds on each side, but nonetheless her normally pale face is flushed with exertion and her breathing is heavier than normal.*
Chaz: --an’ they cannae hope to overpowa’ us, so we need ta keep an eye ou’ for any dirta’ tricks o’ theirs. *he pauses and glances down* How’re ye hol’in’ up, lass?
Lana: Ah cain’t feel mah shouldahs enny mo’…
Chaz: *small frown* Why’n ye say summat, lass? Tha’s nae good. Here, gimme tha’.
*Chaz stands and takes the weight from her with a one-handed ease that’s nearly comical compared to her own previous efforts. He racks the bar and then helps Lana to sit up.*
Chaz: Ye shouldna push yerself like tha’, lass. Ye’re small fer yer size an’ nae used to workin’ wit’ weights jes’ yet. We wouldna wan’ ye doin’ yerself an injury, now woul’ we?
Fannie: You know, I could help with a few workout tips if you want...
*Lana looks Fannie's immense, rippling physique up & down for a moment.*
Lana: Naw, les' jus' stick to what we're doin'...
*Chaz settles behind her and begins rubbing down her shoulders with a gentleness belied by his size. Lana sighs and closes her eyes, looking frustrated.*
Lana: Ah didn’t wanna complain—Ah don’ want y’all to t’ink dat Ah’m a crybaby…
Fannie: Why would we think that? It’s obvious what you can and can’t handle—any more than that and you’re asking to hurt yourself. That won’t help you get ready any sooner.
Chaz: She’s righ’, lass. But I’m thinkin’ that ye’re jes’ abou’ ready ta step inta the ring soon, if’n ye feel up to it.
Lana: *some of the color leaves her face* So soon…are ya sure Ah’m ready?
Chaz: Aye, an’ why shouldn’ ye be when ye’ve had th’ two of us trainin’ ye? Now, ‘ave ye been thinkin’ abou’ ‘ow ye wanna debut?
Lana: *clearly still a bit overwhelmed* Well, a li’l bit…Ah did pick some music.
Chaz: Izzat righ’? Well, don’ keep us in suspense, lass. Le’s ‘ere it.
*Lana stands shyly and heads over to the CD player which is plugged into the wall across the room from the weight bench. She presses the power on button and skips to the third track. After a moment, Tom Jones’ “The Witch Queen of New Orleans” begins playing. Chaz and Fannie share a surprised blink and look at one another.*
Lana: What do ya t’ink?
Fannie: I didn’t know that people still listened to Tom Jones, honestly.
Lana: Ya…don’ like it?
Chaz: Nae, we dinnae say tha’, lass. Aye ‘ave to admit tha’ Aye ‘ave a bit o’ a sof’ spot fer th’ husky-voiced Welshman, m’self.
Fannie: Then you’re both weirder than I thought.
Lana: *looking rather vexed, or at least as vexed as she can look* Well, fo’ yo’ information, he sang at mah 18th birthday party, so dere. *she even sticks her tongue out with this proclamation*
*Chaz and Fannie both stop still and turn to look at their smaller protégé. She blinks under the scrutiny and then flushes a shade of red heretofore found only in W*I*G in the form of Chaz’s hair, standing in sharp contrast with her own copper locks. When they continue to stare at her, she becomes flustered and self-conscious.*
Lana: What…??
Fannie: …Are you actually expecting us to believe that Tom Jones sang at your birthday party?
Lana: Well, he did. Mama an’ Daddy flew him in. *this revelation draws another long look from Fannie and Chaz* Well, dey did!
Fannie: …Just how rich IS your family?
Chaz: Aye tol’ ye…they own half da color indigo in th’ worl’.
Lana: We do no such t’ing!
*And so the scene closes, Fannie sitting back and enjoying her free pre-dinner show as Chaz and Lana engage in another verbal back-and-forth, sure to be one of many.*
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Post by C. M. Synthy on Mar 5, 2009 15:47:24 GMT -5
"I don't wanna be, I don't wanna be me. I don't wanna be me... anymo-ore."*The ripping sound of Type O Negative fills the W*I*G-Sphere & the fans boo for the imminent arrival of the W*I*G World Heavyweight Champion. Coltrane appears at the top of the entrance ramp, his head bowed & his trenchcoat closed. He opens the coat to reveal the W*I*G World Heavyweight Title belt & the boos increase. He storms his way right on down to the ring, ignoring the reaction of the fans.* Howard Finkel: The following non-title contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, from Queens, New York, he weighs in at 234lbs, he is the Wrestling's Innovative Genesis World Heavyweight Champion... COOOOOOL~TRAAAAANE! Tom: Coltrane has issued a challenge tonight. He's let it be known that as a means to prepare for his match against Synthy Eris at W*I*G's 28 Days Later he's willing to take on any woman in W*I*G who wants to face him. Jeannie: As much as I'd relish the opportunity to get that close to Coltrane, I don't think getting in the ring with him is worth the risk. *Coltrane slides into the ring under the bottom rope. He snatches the microphone from Finkel.* Coltrane: There's a certain little madam around here who likes to run her mouth & proclaim how confident she is that she can beat me & claim this W*I*G World Heavyweight Title as hers. *He points to his waist.* Coltrane: So, as means of a warm-up, I intend to take this opportunity to ask any woman in W*I*G to step forward & get in this ring with me. Nearly forgot, Fannie Package is excluded from this challenge for reasons regarding determinacy of gender. *A kerfuffle can be heard from the announce table as Tom Bailey tries to restrain Jeannie Lawless.* Tom: Sit down! You'll have to wrestle him, REMEMBER?! Jeannie: Well ,maybe the benefits outweigh the risks! *Before Jeannie can make her way up to the ring this music starts to play.* Jeannie: Awww... poo. *Lexi bops and tumbles her way down to the ring, twirling perfectly in rhythm, but something is a little off here. Instead of a big hulking beast walking behind her.. she has a rainbow-vomit colored microphone. She raises it to her lips as soon as her Sailor Moon pose is finished.* Lexi: Duuuude. You're really, really...bland. Like, Vanillia...or.... oh my god. You're like tuna fish on white bread with mayonaisse! And you're a meanie to my sister. I really dun like you, I think. Um..and since I'm out here, I can accept your challenge, ColTuna. =D DING-DING! *Coltrane glowers at Lexi as she bounces from foot-to foot like a hyperactive Oompah-Loompah. Coltrane extends his arms to lock-up with Lexi. She skips over to him & begins to twirl under one of his outstretched arms. Coltrane continues to look on, utterly confused. He clobbers Lexi with an utterly unnecessarily forceful Clothesline. Lexi, of course, is taken down immediately. She's beginning to get back up again, but Coltrane taunts her, using his foot to push down on her against her face. Lexi struggles to get away, scurrying away on all fours. She rolls to the outside before Coltrane can catch her. Coltrane follows her outside & Lexi slips back in the ring again. At this point, Coltrane also slides back in after her. Lexi slides back out under the bottom rope & Coltrane follows suit. Lexi makes as if to get back in the ring again, Coltrane moves back in, but Lexi sits up on the middle rope, holding onto the top strand & swinging back & forth. Coltrane, tiring of Lexi's messing, grabs her by the hair & tries to drag her back into the ring. Lexi reaches back & digs Coltrane right in the mush. Coltrane staggers back, holding his cheek. Lexi sneaks up behind him on her tip-toes. Tom: Lexi seems to have got the better of Coltrane at the moment & it seems like she's enjoying it. Jeannie: For a man who prides himself on being able to get into an opponent's head, Coltrane is surprisingly easy to rattle. *Lexi jumps onto Coltrane's back, applying a Sleeper Hold around his neck. He reaches up & grabs at her bright blue hair, Snapmaring her forward. Lexi lands harshly on her rear end. She sits stunned for a moment, until Coltrane delivers a stiff kick to her back. Coltrane smirks as Lexi nurses her back. He picks her up & whips her towards a corner. Lexi turns & she hits the turnbuckles back first. Coltrane looks to follow up by splashing Lexi in the corner. He charges at her with a full head of steam. Lexi gets her feet up at the last second & Coltrane takes a pair of boots to the face. He stumbles back, momentarily dazed. Lexi holds on to the top rope & flips herself backwards so that she's perched in the top turnbuckle. Lexi waits for Coltrane to turn around to face her & she flies off with a Hurrancanrana. She dives onto Coltrane to make a cover.* 1... 2... KICKOUT! *Coltrane manages to escape Lexi's pin attempt. He shoves her tiny body off himself, sending her into the air. Lexi is surprised by the force with which Coltrane sends her flying. She quickly stands again, though, readying herself for another attack.* Tom: It's a good thing for Coltrane that this is a non-title match. He was within an eyelash of losing the match there. Jeannie: I think he was just attempting to lull Lexi into a false sense of security. Maybe he is trying to play his psychological games after all. *Lexi runs right at Coltrane & spins around him in a tilt-a-whirl fashion, not actually performing a move, just spinning around him. She lands behind him, standing up quite shakily; apparently she dizzied herself in spinning around her opponent. Coltrane turns to face Lexi & he rakes her eyes. Lexi stumbles about blindly for a moment before tumbling out of the ring. Coltrane follows, in no mood for Lexi's games this time. He whips the comparatively tiny woman into the steel steps. Lexi goes tumbling over those too. Coltrane grabs Lexi by the head & tries to bash her head against the steps. She manages to stop her head from meeting the steps & fights back, elbowing Coltrane in the stomach & fleeing back into the ring. Coltrane follows her, walking slowly. He slides into the ring under the bootom rope. Lexi Baseball Slides into his side just as he enters. Coltrane rolls off to the side a little. Lexi tries to drag him back standing. She sets him up in a corner & attempts to hit another Hurrancanrana. She leaps onto Coltrane's shoulders, but he runs out from the corner, carrying Lexi & Powerbombs her with sickening impact.* Tom: Coltrane is being absolutely merciless here. Jeannie: He's giving Synthy Eris a showcase of what she can expect when the two of them go at it at "28 Days Later". You think he's going to take it easy on either one of these chicks? *Coltrane drops an elbow onto Lexi's lower back. He grabs her ams & leans back in a Surfboard type way. He drives a boot into her back.* Tom: Isn't that...? Jeannie: Yep, another move he's stolen! Tom: This time Ferhago Crow's "Bonny & Read's Bond". *After holding her in the move for a few seconds, Coltrane removes his foot from Lexi's back. She looks relieved for a second, until he blasts her into the mat with a Curb Stomp. Coltrane floows this brutal move by repeatedly stomping Lexi's head onto the mat. Eventually he ceases to drag Lexi over to the cameras at ring-side & show her bloodied face to the audience watching at home, as well as Synthy Eris herself.* Coltrane: Do you see this? DO YOU?! *He takes Lexi down to the mat again with a Side Russian Leg Sweep. He then takes his time climbing to the top rope. Coltrane flies off the top, landing his leg across Lexi's throat. He locks a Scissor Hold around her neck & flips over, perfectly imitating Lexi's "Final Revolution". There's no sign of Lexi tapping out, however. Coltrane keeps the hold locked on, twisting Lexi's neck as much as he can as he does so.* Tom: Lexi don't be too proud! Let this match end! *Coltrane press himself up higher, putting more pressure on Lexi. The referee eventually checks her hand. He lets it drop once... twice... three times. The referee calls for the bell!* DING-DING-DING! Finkel: Here is your winner... COOOOL~TRAAAAANNNNE! *Type O Negative's music blares out once again as the refree raises Coltrane's arm in victory. The ref immediately goes to check on Lexi & help her out. Coltrane grabs the refree by the shirt & tosses him out of the ring. He leans in close to Lexi with sinister intentions. He's not standing over her very long before the crowd's booing turns into cheering. Synthy is standing right behind him! Coltrane is caught off-guard with a Dropkick to his back. Synthy helps Lexi up to her feet. Coltrane, seeing the two sisters now standing over him, takes his W*I*G World Heavyweight title & departs the ring quickly. Synthy watches him depart up the ramp while Lexi tugs at her sleeve asking if she can go & get some Birthday Cake flavored ice cream. Coltrane holds the W*I*G Belt aloft once again as Synthy continues to watch him with a steely glare. She makes the old "Title Belt" gesture around her waist as Coltrane merely smirks back at her.* Tom: Well...she never really got a chance to get going, poor Lexi. Jeannie:....Did Coltrane just hand Lexi her first WIG loss? I don't think her sister's going to be pleased about that...
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Post by Paul's Boutique on Mar 8, 2009 13:12:13 GMT -5
*We open on the beginning of Beastie Boys’ “Hey Ladies.” We see on a man, muscular and ripped with short black hair and blue eyes, is clean shaven, and has pale skin. He’s in his underwear, in his bedroom, standing in front of a mirror, and combing his hair while holding a hair dryer over it. Suddenly, the name “Johnny Ryall” appears at the bottom of the screen.* Hey ladies in the place I'm callin' out to ya *Johnny continues to comb and blow dry his hair.* There never was a city kid truer and bluer *Johnny sits down on his bed.* There's more to me than you'll ever know *Johnny puts a black sock on his right foot.* And I've got more hits than Sadaharu Oh *Johnny puts a black sock on his left foot.* Tom Thumb Tom Cushman or Tom Foolery *Johnny gets up and walks back to the mirror.* Date women on T.V. with the help of Chuck Woolery *Johnny puts on some deodorant.* Words are flowing out just like the Grand Canyon *Johnny puts on some cologne.* And I'm always out looking for a female companion *Johnny walks to the bed and puts on a white T-shirt.* I threw the lasso around the tallest one and dragged her to the crib *Johnny puts on a pair of gray silk pants.* I took off her moccasins and put on my bib *Johnny puts on a white button-and-collar shirt.* I'm wheelin' and dealin' I make a little bit of stealing *Johnny flips the collar up and grabs a tie.* I'll bring you back to the place and your dress I'm feeling *Johnny wraps the tie around the collar as he walks back to the mirror.* Your body's on time and your mind is appealing *Johnny ties the tie into a knot and then flips the collar down.* Staring at the cracks up there upon the ceiling *Johnny puts on a pair of sunglasses and walks back to the bed.* Such and such be the bass that I'm throwing *Johnny puts on a gray silk jacket.* Talking to a girl telling her I'm all knowing *Johnny grabs his wallet and keys and puts them into the jacket pocket.* She's talking to the kid *Johnny walks out of the bedroom and down the stairs of his hair.* I'm telling here every lie that you know that I never did *Johnny walks out of the house and over to a purple 1965 Cadillac Coupe De Ville that’s been tricked out into a lowrider.* Hey ladies! Get funky! *Cut to Johnny standing in a night club. He is holding a cow bell and bangs it with a drum stick underneath a disco ball while four sexy-looking women in tight black dress dance around.* *Cut to Johnny in his car driving down a New York City street.* Me in the corner with a good looking daughter *Johnny is bobbing his head to the beat of whatever song is playing on the radio; most likely “Hey Ladies.”* I dropped my drawers and it was welcome back Kotter *Suddenly, the car starts bouncing up and down as it goes down the street.* We were cutting up the rug she started cutting up the carpet *Johnny keeps bobbing his head as he bounces up down in the car.* In my apartment I begged her please stop it *The car stops bouncing up and down as it comes to a red light.* The gift of gab is the gift that I have *The car stops as another car, a tricked out 1978 Pontiac Grand Prix, pulls up to Johnny’s car.* And that girl ain't nothing but a crab *Johnny looks over and sees a sexy blonde woman wearing a white dress in the other car.* Educated no stupid yes *Johnny nods his head to the girl.* And when I say stupid I mean stupid fresh *The girls nods back.* I'm not James at 15 or Chachi in charge *Johnny licks his lips at the girls.* I'm Adam and I'm adamant about living large *The girls takes her hands off the wheel and grabs the top of her dress.* With the white sassoons and the looks that kill *We cut back to Johnny, who looks shocked at what he’s seeing in the other car.* Makin' love in the back of my Coupe De Ville *The light turns green, and the other car drives off.* I met a little cutie she was all hopped up on zootie *Johnny still looks shocked and then shakes his head. I liked the little cutie but I kicked her in the bootie *Johnny drives off.* Cause I don't kinda go for that messin' around *The car starts bouncing up and down again.* You be listening to my records' a number one sound *The car bounces up to a nightclub.* Step to the rhythm, step, step to the ride *The car bounces into the parking lot.* I've got an open mind so why don't you all get inside *The car stops bounces as it comes to stop in a parking space.* Tune in tune on to my tune that's live *Johnny gets out of the car.* Ladies flock like bees to a hive *Johnny walks into the nightclub and enters it.* Hey ladies! Get funky! *Cut back to Johnny holding a cow bell and banging it with a drum stick underneath a disco ball while four sexy-looking women in tight black dress dance around.* Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies! Hey, hey, hey, hey ladies! (one more time) Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey ladies! *Johnny enters the nightclub.* She's got a gold tooth you know she's hardcore *Johnny grabs the extended hand of some guy and gives him a hip-hop hug.* She'll show you a good time then she'll show you the door *Johnny lets the man go and then slaps some girl on the butt.* Break up with your girl it ended in tears *The girl slaps Johnny in the face and walks away.* Vincent Van Gogh and mail that ear *Johnny walks up to the bar in the club.* I call her in the middle of the night when I'm drinking *The bartender hands Johnny a rum and coke.* The phone booth on the corner is damp and it's stinking *Johnny drinks it.* She said come on over it was me that she missed *Johnny then turns his head to the dance floor and sees that girl in the white dress from earlier.* I threw that trash can through her window cause you know I got dissed *The girls motions for Johnny to come over.* Your old lady left you and you went girls (x3) insane *Johnny walks out onto the dance floor.* You blew yourself up in the back of the 6 train *Johnny starts dancing like John Travolta in “Saturday Night Fever.”* Take my advice at any price a gorilla like your mother is mighty weak *Johnny then does the Moonwalk.* Sucking down pints 'til I didn't know *Johnny then starts doing some breakdance moves.* Woke up in the morning at the Won Ton Ho *Johnny starts doing the Worm.* Cause I announce I like girls that bounce *Johnny then spins around on his head and then his back.* With the weight that pays about a pound per ounce *Johnny kips up and grabs the girl in the white dress.* Girls with curls and big long locks *Johnny and the girl start making out.* And beatnik chicks just wearing their smocks *Johnny and the girl continue to make out while people dance around them.* Walking high and mighty like she's #1 and *Johnny and the girl stop making out and then exit the dance floor.* *She thinks she's the passionate one* *Johnny and the girl then exit the nightclub.* Hey, ladies! Get funky! *Cut back to Johnny holding a cow bell and banging it with a drum stick underneath a disco ball while four sexy-looking women in tight black dress dance around. Suddenly, Johnny drops the cowbell as one of the girls hands him a whip. He whips the whip a few times. Then, we cut to Johnny and the girl in his house running up to his bedroom.* *The song stops, and we cut to Johnny standing in front of the store from the last promo: Paul’s Boutique. Then, this voice over begins.* The best in men's clothing. Call Paul’s Boutique; ask for Janice. The number is ah (718) 498-1043 That's Paul’s Boutique and they're in Brooklyn...
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Post by Damien Blood on Mar 8, 2009 16:25:07 GMT -5
*We open on the W*I*G Interview area. John Cena is standing behind the counter with Toby Nicholas Tucker, TNT, to his left and Damien Blood to the right. TNT is wearing that black noseguard, a black Western-style button-and-collar shirt, black jeans, and black cowboy boots. Damien is wearing a white shirt with a red cross on it, blue jeans, and sneakers. Cena has on a suit.*
John Cena: I’m John Cena, and no, I won’t be seeing “12 Rounds.” So, whoever keeps sending me e-vites to the premiere of “12 Rounds,” please stop.
TNT: *grabs Cena’s hand that holds the microphone* And, I am the man with the plan! The master of disaster! The killer of zeroes! And, the thriller of heroes! I AM TOBY NICHOLAS TUCKER, TNT!!!! *lets goes of Cena’s hand*
Cena: And, with us is a man who use to be with TigerPath Pro Wrestling but is now apparently a member of the W*I*G roster, Damien Blood. *to Damien* Hel…lo…mis…ter…Blood.
*Damien stares stupidly at Cena.*
Cena: How…are…you…to…day?
*Damien stares stupidly at Cena.*
Cena: Do…you…speak…Eng…lish?
Damien: Yes, stupid. You know, I figured that an interviewer of a wrestling promotion would do a little research before he interviews a wrestler. If you had done your job, then you would have know that my parents were born in California. Their parents came over to America from Japan sometime after World War II. My parents speak perfect English, and they went back to Japan to teach English to little Japanese kids. Also, I spent many years in the Torchwood Military Academy in San Francisco, which my uncle ran. So, I no speak ba’ Engrish. I speak goo’ Engrish, jackass!
Cena: *nervous laughter* Sorry. Anyway, so how did you come to be W*I*G’s newest wrestler?
TNT: Let me answer that question since I was instrumental into bringan’ Mistah Blood to this fine establishment we all know as Wrestling’s Innovative Genesis. Ya see, over in Japan, I got attacked while givin’ a press conference by that Tom Selleck look-a-like Jimmy Constance. I was upset, pissed, angry, enraged, homicidal, suicidal, genocidal, and any other adjectives that describe Sabu! However, I notice that ole Jimmy had a bandage on his head. He had a little boo-boo. And, who gave him that boo-boo?
Damien: I did. *laughs*
TNT: Oh yes, ya did. So, I did a little research. Well, technicolorally, Tracy, Nicole, and Talia did the research. I just looked at Japanese porn. Anyway, mah girls these tapes of Damien doin’ violent things. They were disturbin’, horrifyin’, disgustin’, and mortifyin’, but they was also electrifyin’, mesmerizin’, tantalizin’, and down right inspirin’. I knew, I just knew, that this guy had to come to the good ole U.S. Of A and help me beat the crap out of those motherhumpers, Jimmy Constance and L. Rey! So, I went to Mistah James E. Colvin, and I begged and pleaded, I moped and groped, I whined and cried, I griped and hyped, I debated and stated my case! And, after four hours, I broke the man down, and he agreed to sign Damien Blood to a contract.
Cena: *to Damien* And, you agreed to this?
Damien: Of course! When TNT came up to me and asked if I would come to W*I*G, I was ecstatic to come! You see, I’ve pretty much done what I could in TigerPath. I had held the Blazing Path and Elite Path Championships, and I came this close *holds up hand and has his thumb and index finger less than an centimeter apart* to winning the Dual Path Championship all by myself. Plus, I had beaten and bloodied practically everyone on that damn roster. I was starting to get bored. In fact, I almost left TigerPath on a hiatus to reassess my wrestling career. That was until I heard that there was going to be a big show between the TigerPath wrestlers and W*I*G. I immediately became excited because I was presented with the opportunity to beat and bloody new wrestlers. When I wrestled James Constance, I felt something I hadn’t felt in a long time: pure joy and satisfaction for beating up on another human being. And, when TNT came to me and present me with an opportunity to come to W*I*G and wrestle more people I had never wrestled, had never beaten, had never bloodied before, I jumped at the opportunity.
Cena: So…um…was TigerPath upset that you chose to leave their company?
Damien: Are you kidding!? They were more than happy to get rid of me. You see, they couldn’t do anything to punish me. I broke a man’s leg, and they suspended me. When I came back, I broke another man’s leg. I slapped a woman, and they fined me. So, I slapped another woman. I attacked officials. I attacked referees. I attacked fans. They threatened to fire, but they never did because they needed me more than I needed them! People came to see me! They wanted to see this crazy man who liked to make people bleed. Who liked to hurt people! Who liked to destroy people’s careers! They may have hated and booed me, but they couldn’t get enough of me. And, TigerPath couldn’t stand that I became one of their popular guys by hurting people and breaking their rules. So, when I said that I was leaving, they were more than happy to see me off.
Cena: Okay, so why help TNT defeat James “Magnum” Constance and L. Rey at 28 Days Later?
Damien: Well, he helped me to get into W*I*G; and I decided to return the favor.
TNT: Speaking of which, I just spoke with Mr. Colvin; and I got an announcement to make! Ya see, after 28 Days Later, after the high winnin’ against L. Rey and Jimmy Constance, I had this intense feelin’ wash over mah body. It was this deep, passionate feelin’ that I had really neva felt before. Then, it hit me—it was guilt. I felt guilty. I couldn’t believe it. I had neva really felt it before.
Cena: You felt guilty over beating L. Rey and Magnum.
TNT: Hell naw! What is wrong witcha, man!? I don’t feel guilty about beatin’ them motherhumpers!!!! Shee-it!!!! I felt guilty about puttin’ Tracy, Nicole, and Talia into the match. I mean, I have to wear this ugly thing *points to the noseguard* because of Jimmy. And, L. Rey, well, he just keeps making it worse and worse. And, I put those girls in harm’s way, against two maniacs who have hurt them without any consideration to their safety and well-being. Now, I’m not sayin’ that Tracy, Nicole, and Talia can’t handle themselves against the big boys. They can. I’m just sayin’ that I might have misjudged how big and dangerous them boys L. Rey and Jimmy was. So, I’m gonna rectify that little mistake! I talked to Mr. Colvin, and after another four hours of beggin’, pleadin’, mopin’, gropin’, whinin’, cryin’, gripin’, hypin’, debatin’, and statin’ my case, I got myself anotha match—me and Damien Blood VS Jimmy Constance and L. Rey at the next PPV!
Cena: Really!?
TNT: Hells yeah!
Cena: Why would you want to face L. Rey and Magnum again?
TNT: Because, I don’t like ‘em.
Cena: Why?
TNT: Well, Jimmy has been puttin’ his hands on my girl, Nicole! And, that ain’t gonna fly with this flyboy! As for L. Rey, well, I just don’t his face! His handsome face! And, my face may neva be handsome again. *breaks out in tears* I’m sorry.
*TNT grabs Cena, rests his head against Cena’s shoulders, and start crying.*
Cena: Okay. And, you, Damien, are more than willing to take part in match?
Damien: Of course. I never back down from the opportunity to hurt someone.
Cena: Well, there you have it. It will be Damien Blood and TNT VS L. Rey and James “Magnum” Constance at the next PPV. We’ll be right back.
*Cut to commercial.*
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Post by James E. Colvin on Mar 8, 2009 20:59:29 GMT -5
*A podium with a many microphones is set up in front of a locker room door. The placard on the door reads “James E. Colvin”. Even though we can not see, we are given the impression that there is at least a small audience full of members of the press. Suddenly, the W*I*G owner walks out and stands behind the podium*
Colvin: Hello there. Thank you all for coming. I called this press conference to address a major issue in this company, and that is…management. As anyone who looks at me can tell, I am not exactly a Spring chicken anymore, and at times, running the day-to-day aspects of this company can be extremely physically taxing. Because of this, I feel that I am no longer able to dedicate the energy needed to run a successful wrestling company. So, to combat this, there will be a slight change in management. But rather than just one man taking over the day-to-day tasks, that job will be done by two men. And I would like to introduce them to you now. First, I’d like to introduce you to an old chum of mine, Reynaldo Fernandez.
*Walking up to the podium is a darkish, mustached man in an olive drab uniform fit for a general, with gold buttons and medals and ribbons adorning the lapel and shoulders of his outfit. His hat is a red beret and his black dress shoes reflect the image of lit flashbulbs as he steps up to the microphone.*
Fernandez: Hola, mis amigos, and I shall now cease with the cliche Spanish. My name is, as my friend James Colvin indicated, Reynaldo Fernandez. And I am a man of great importance. You see, I hail from a state known as la Isla de San Basilio in the Caribbean. As their general, I finally gained the courage after years and stood up against their devious government with a promise of freedom to our faithful island people! *He clenches his left fist, raising it, and strokes his mustache with his right hand.* Unfortunately for myself, and the other freedom fighters, we could not defeat the corrupt and vile government but were forced to sign a treaty in the midst of a stalemate. We were to lay down arms. But then, I got a wonderful idea--to set up a free government in the autonomous soil of the United States! And so, La Republica de San Basilio was formed! A few years later...and you have what we have now. Anyway...ahem! My good friend James Colvin--we go back many years to when I was studying here in an American college and lived in a wonderful American city!--needed some help in running the company in light of......recent events......and, since I was in the neighborhood...he gave me a call with his new-fangled cellular phone. What a phenomenon it is, I must dare to say! So, I agreed, and now that my people have made preparations, we are all ready to move into this wonderous arena, a bastion of freedom, and to live in our own hard-forged society. And I guarantee you, all of those of you in W*I*G, viewers, workers and wrestlers, that I shall do my part to rule fairly and to preside with ORDER in this company, in a way that would make San Basilio himself proud!
*Reynaldo steps to the side, and Colvin once again mans the podium*
Colvin: Thank you, Rey. And as I said earlier, I would be having two people run W*I*G in my absence. So now, please welcome the second man who will run W*I*G, Jett Ripely
*Next to join the podium as Mr. Fernandez steps aside, a rather young looking red haired young man, perhaps somewhere in his late twenties or early thirties, walks up to the podium. He is clad in a simple white jacket, a plain green t-shirt underneath, a pair of slacks decorating his legs, and a set of beaten up red and white sneakers adorning his feet. He reaches over and shakes both the hands of Mr. Colvin and General Fernandez, before turning back towards the press*
Jett: Thanks Jamie. Well folks, my name is Jett Ripley and unlike the general here, I come from a less exciting background to be honest. You see, my pop here is a friend of Jamie here, that's all. Well, one day, they both got to talking and Colvin brought up that he needed somebody he could rely on to help run this company. Of course, my dad isn't really interested in the whole wrestling business himself, so he recommended me instead! Plain and simple, I've been in business school for the past few years, learning to how to run and operate a company of my own so when my old man passes on, he can pass the family business onto me. That is, if he finds me worthy and all. But to be honest, I've never considered myself as someone who could run something bland and boring like my old man's company. No offense, but it's just not my style. You see, I'm more of a laid back fellow, not one of those uptight micromanagers. In fact, to be honest, people never really considered me worthy of even being is business school, mainly because I just didn't fit in with the norm. In fact, they were all saying I'd drop out the first year I started. Well, I proved them all wrong and graduated with top honors in my class, thanks to my hard work and dedication. So, that said, my dad said that there's nobody really more qualified to take over the reigns while Jamie is away. So, he told me about it and I practically jumped at the opportunity. You see... I've always been a HUGE wrestling fan, whether it was EWT, KPW, WHOA, or even RCP... even though that one didn't last too long. My life long dream has been to run a wrestling promotion of my very own. After all, what better business to run then the one a guy enjoys the most? So, long story short, my pop and Jamie here inked up a deal and starting today, I am here alongside the general to help make WIG the best promotion that she can possibly be. And hey... maybe even have some fun while I'm here.
*Colvin walks to the podium again and stands between the two men, as they all face the press*
Colvin: Thank you Jett. And to try and answer any pre-emptive questions, I will still maintain ownership of W*I*G, and will still have all authority to regain control of W*I*G, if I ever see fit. But, I think besides that, we're done today. Any other questions can be answered at a later time
*The three men pose for pictures, and then turn their backs and walk into Colvin’s office*
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Post by Dimitri Konstantinos on Mar 9, 2009 15:49:59 GMT -5
Howard Finkel: The following contest is a mixed tag team match and is scheduled for ONE fall. It is a part of Round One of the Colvin Cup! *Dimitri Konstantinos’s music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7zu4IG0xWoFinkel: Introducing first, coming down the aisle, at 6 feet and 1 and ½ inches, weighing in at 228 pounds, from Thessaloníki, Greece—DIMITRI KONSTANTINOS. *Konstantinos comes out to a nice pop. He is wearing short blue tights with a white Palaiologoi Eagle on the rear and white K's on the thighs, black elbow pads, white knee pads with blue kneecaps, and blue knee-high boots with black toes and white kick pads. He walks down to the ring and enters it.* Tom Bailey: Welcome back, and we are set to have another match in the Colvin Cup. Here comes Dimitri Konstantinos. Jeannie Lawless: You know what I like about Greek men, Tom? Tom: No. Jeannie: Well, I’ll tell ya—they can go for a long time. Tom: Great! *Nicole Michaels’s music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=08uSz2M-LhIFinkel: And, his partner, coming down the aisle, at 5 feet 7 inches, weighing in at 123 pounds, from Phoenix, Arizona—NICOLE MICHAELS. *The crowd boos mercilessly as Nicole walks out onto the stage. She does a curtsy as if to say “Thank you,” making the crowd angrier. Nicole is wearing a blue top with a flame design on it, a blue skirt with a flame design and “TNT” in white, black wrist tape, and blue boots with “TNT” in white on them. She walks down the ring. Konstantinos holds the ropes open for her as Nicole walks up to the steps onto the apron, and she steps through the ring.* Tom: I wonder how Nicole Michaels and Dimitri Konstantinos are going to work together. Jeannie: Well, while Konstantinos maybe a fan favorite, he has a very brutal wrestling style. So, maybe they could work well together. *The King’s Court’s music plays.* www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOL-lzVT5JcFinkel: And, their opponents, representing the King’s Court—first, coming down the aisle, at 6 feet, weighting in at 227 pounds, from Chewelah, Washington—ANDY DUKE; and his partner, coming down the aisle, at 5 feet 4 inches, weighing in at 112 pounds, from Grand Folks, British Columbia, Canada—ABI RICHMOND. *Duke and Abi come out a nice pop. Duke is wearing blue wrestling trunks with his initials written in with black design and trim, black tape on his wrists and hands, and black wrestling boots. Abi is wearing a white tank-top, black elbow pads, and long blue tights modeled to look like jeans tucked into black wrestling boots. They walk down to the ring and enter.* Tom: Well, while Konstantinos’s style may gel with Nicole’s attitude, they have to face two members of the King’s Court—Andy Duke and Abi Richmond. I’m sure they will work better as a team than Konstantinos and Nicole. Jeannie: True, but Duke and Abi have only recently met. Who knows how well they will work together? *The bell rings. Nicole and Abi move onto the apron. Konstantinos and Duke circle each other and tie up. Suddenly, Duke moves around Konstantinos and locks him into a hammerlock. After a minute or two, Konstantinos elbows Duke in the side of his head. After a few elbows, Duke lets go and swings around. Konstantinos waits for Duke to turn around. He does and Konstantinos hits him with a savate kick. Duke falls to the mat, and Konstantinos hits him with an elbow drop. Then, he grabs Duke by his hair and picks him up. Suddenly, Konstantinos hits Duke with a corkscrew neckbreaker. Then, Konstantinos picks up Duke and locks him into a cobra clutch.* Tom: Konstantinos gets the upper hand early on. Jeannie: I wonder if he’s as rough in bed as he is in the ring. Tom: Can’t you focus on the match? Jeannie: I mentioned how rough he is in the ring! *Konstantinos has the move locked on tight. However, after a few minutes, Duke is able to grab Konstantinos’s head with his free arm and hits Konstantinos with a cutter. This causes Konstantinos to let go of the hold, but he doesn’t fall onto the mat, instead staying on his knees. Duke gets up and kicks Konstantinos a few times, but he doesn’t go down. Suddenly, Duke runs to the ropes, bounces off of them, charges at Konstantinos and hits him with a shining wizard. Duke gets up, moves onto the apron, and climbs up to the top turnbuckle. He jumps off with a 450 splash, but Konstantinos moves out of the way; and Duke lands on the mat. The audience lets out a sympathetic groan.* Tom: Holy Mackerel! Duke goes for a 450 splash, but Konstantinos moves out of the way; and Duke eats the canvas. Jeannie: Oh, I hope that didn’t damage his face. Tom: It’s nice to see that you care. Jeannie: Thank you. *Konstantinos gets up and picks up Duke. He places him in the corner in a tree of woe. Then, he exits the ring, grabs Duke’s head, and locks him in an inverted surfboard stretch.* Tom: Misery Lock to Duke! Man, that looks painful. Jeannie: It’s also illegal. He’s gonna have to let that go soon. *Konstantinos has the move locked on tight. The referee begins a 5 count.* Ref: 1…2…3…*Suddenly, Abi jumps off the apron, charges at Konstantinos, and pulls him off of Duke.* *Abi catches Konstantinos off guard and unleashes a flurry of chops. Nicole jumps off the apron, charges at Abi, and hits her with a lariat. The referee exits the ring and breaks the girls apart. Meanwhile, Konstantinos reenters the ring with Duke still in the tree of woe. He moves over to the opposite corner, charges at Duke, and dropkicks him in the face, knocking him out of it. Konstantinos gets up, picks up Duke by his legs, spins him around, and hits him with a wheelbarrow facebuster. Meanwhile, the referee finally gets Nicole and Abi apart; and they walk back to their corners. Then, the ref reenters the ring as Konstantinos locks Duke in the camel clutch.* Tom: Now, Konstantinos has Duke in the camel clutch. Jeannie: I wonder if those girls are going to go at it again without having been tagged. Tom: Hey, anything could happen. *Konstantinos has the move locked on tight. Suddenly, Abi runs into the ring and dropkicks Konstantinos in the face, causing him to let go of the hold and fall to the mat. The referee doesn’t like this and warns at Abi not to do that again. Then, he tries to get Abi to exit the ring as Duke tries to get up. Suddenly, Nicole runs into the ring and hits Duke with a bulldog as he gets up. Abi tries to come to Duke’s aid, but the ref stops her, not knowing that Nicole attacked him. Nicole picks up Duke, pulls him over to the corner, climbs up onto the second ropes, and hits Duke with a tornado DDT. Suddenly, Abi gets past the referee, charges at Nicole, and hits her with a crossbody. Abi rolls to the outside and pulls Nicole out of the ring. The two girls soon start punching and kicking each other, and the referee has to exit the ring to pull them apart.* Tom: Looks like you were right. Jeannie: Damn! What caused the animosity between these two? Tom: Maybe Nicole ate the last Danish when Abi going for it. Jeannie: What makes you think it was Nicole? It could have been Abi. *Meanwhile, Dimitri Konstantinos and Andy Duke continue to wrestle each other in the ring. The two come to blows, Konstantinos throwing a barrage of punches and Duke retaliating with alternating kicks and knife edge chops. Summarily, Dimitri pulls himself back and then runs forward, trying for a clothesline, which Duke ducks. Konstantinos rebounds off of the ropes, only to be caught with a face-smashing Yakuza Kick from Duke. He collapses to the ground, and Duke quickly goes for the cover.* 1! 2! KICKOUT! Tom: Dimitri just barely got out of that one…he must have REALLY got his bell rung. *Quickly, Andy Duke gets back to his feet and grabs Dimitri Konstantinos, setting him up in a suplex position. But before he can lift him off the ground, Dimitri elbows him in the side of the abdomen a few times, weakening his grip. Konstantinos counters with a snap suplex, taking his opponent down to the mat, and pushes himself back up to his feet. Dimitri delivers a few stomps to Andy Duke, before picking him up by the head and whipping him into the corner opposite to the two of them. With Duke in the corner, Konstantinos backs up a little bit and runs forward. As he comes near the corner, he leaps up in the air in an attempt to deliver an Avalanche, but Duke dodges to the side. Konstantinos goes ricocheting out of the corner, which gives Andy Duke enough time to follow up with a back suplex. Andy goes to try to make the cover, but Dimitri quickly gets to his knees and forearms Duke in the stomach several times, forcing him to double over. Dimitri runs in a direction perpendicular to Andy, and kicks his legs up as if to deliver a Fameasser. Duke instantly drops to the mat, making Dimitri miss, and as the Greek bounces off the ropes, Duke hits him with a dropkick, bringing him down to the mat.* Tom: Good countering there from Andy Duke, and that’s the thing about him—he can do that all day without tiring. Jeannie: Ooh, I’ll have to remember that. Tom: For what? Jeannie: Oh, wouldn’t you like to know? Tom: Probably not, now that I think of it. *Duke goes to pick up Konstantinos by the head, but receives a jawbreaker for his effort. As he goes reeling back, Dimitri gets back up to his feet and grabs Andy around the waist, lifting him up and placing him over one shoulder. Dimitri runs towards the nearest corner, trying to slam Duke into it, but Duke slips out of it, causing Dimitri to run into the corner, face-first. Dimitri turns around, a bit dizzy, only to receive a barrage of knife-edged chops from Andy Duke. The crowd responds to each with a loud “WOO!” and after the final one, whips Dimitri into the ropes. After Dimitri comes bouncing off, Duke leaps onto the middle rope, springboarding off. Meanwhile, Dimitri, halfway across the ring from Duke, jumps onto the bottom rope on his side of the ring and springboards off as well. Duke attempts to hit his opponent with a leg lariat, and Dimitri goes for his Torpedo. Both men hit each other simultaneously in mid-air and come crashing down to the mat. Both men are down, Duke clutching his abdomen and Dimitri holding onto his head.* Tom: Holy schnikes! Did you see that? Jeannie: Two sweaty guys jumping around? When wouldn’t I look at that? Tom: …hmmm, you have a point there. But that’s not the point—both men took a huge risk there, and now both of them are half-unconscious on the mat! *The referee looks at both men and begins counting for one of them to get up.* 1! 2! 3! *Both men stir and get to their knees.* 4! 5! *Both men are crawling to their corners.* 6! 7! *Both Dimitri Konstantinos and Andy Duke make the tag to their respective partners. Nicole and Abi both leap into the ring and run at one another, exchanging forearm shots to each others’ heads in alternation. Nicole gains the advantage, grabbing Abi by the head and going for a tornado DDT, only for Abi to slip out of it. Nicole lands on her back and scrambles to her feet. Abi runs forward, executing a running dropkick and quickly goes up to the turnbuckle. Just as Michaels gets up to her feet and turns around, Richmond lands a missile dropkick, knocking Nicole back down. Quickly, Abi goes for the pin.* 1! 2! KICKOUT! *Dimitri Konstantinos manages to break up the pinfall, with a double axehandle delivered across Abi’s back. Andy Duke leaps over the top rope and into the ring charging over to Konstantinos and clotheslining him, as both men spill to the outside of the ring and come to blows. Dimitri hits Duke with a savate kick, knocking him into the apron, and charges forward at him. Quickly, Duke dodges out of the way and Dimitri runs into the apron, and staggers back, both men going back to brawling with one another as Duke gets back up to his feet and follows up on his counter. Meanwhile, in the ring, Nicole Michaels and Abi Richmond continue to battle it out with one another. Abi runs into the ropes, bouncing off and going for a crossbody. Nicole catches her in mid-air, and delivers a backbreaker, stopping Abi’s momentum flat. The referee, in need of breaking up the ongoing brawl between Dimitri Konstantinos and Andy Duke, shifts his attention to them and begins admonishing the two for their actions, intent on getting the two separated. Nicole picks Abi up by the head, lifting her in position for the Twisted Nerve. Next to the ring ropes, she turns around to face the crowd before executing her move, but as soon as she turns around, receives a kiss from James Constance who has seemingly arrived from out of nowhere.* Tom: Whoa, look who it is! James “Magnum” Constance just went in straight through the crowd! Jeannie: Oh, where’s the referee when you need him? That could’ve been my kiss! Tom: You know, with what’s going on between these two, I highly doubt you have anything to do with that. *Just before the referee turns around after breaking up the fight outside, “Magnum” releases Nicole and drops off the apron and onto the mat, disappearing back through the crowd. Stunned from what just transpired, Nicole staggers back and her grip loosens, her eyes nearly twice as wide as normal and her face expressing utter bewilderment. Instantly, Abi Richmond slips out of the suplex lift and, grabbing Nicole from behind, hooks her arms and executes a Dragon Suplex onto her, following up with a bridge. The referee quickly drops to the mat and counts the pin.* 1! 2! 3! DING DING DING! *“Date with the Night” picks up over the speakers as Abi gets up, the referee raising her arm up as Andy Duke enters the ring to leave with her.* Finkel: Here are your winners…ANDY DUKE AND ABI RICHMOOOND! *Duke and Abi leave the ring, triumphantly making their way up the ramp, as Dimitri enters the ring to help the still-confused Nicole Michaels up to her feet, her hand over her mouth.* Tom: Nicole Michaels is still pretty dizzy, and after what James “Magnum” Constance just did, I can kind of imagine why. Although, it might just be the after-effect of that powerful dragon suplex that won Abi and Duke the match. Jeannie: Well all I can say is, my brief torture is over! *Dimitri remains standing by Nicole, who, her hand still next to her mouth, continues to stare off into the crowd where James Constance made his hasty exit. Fade out.*
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Post by James "Magnum" Constance on Mar 9, 2009 22:19:38 GMT -5
*We open on Nicole Michaels, still in her wrestling gear and running around the backstage hallway. She is looking for James “Magnum” Constance.*
Nicole: Magnum! MAGNUM!!!!
*Suddenly, she runs into Guillermo Miramontes.*
Nicole: Hey! Loverboy! Have you seen James “Magnum” Constance?
Guillermo: Magnum!? Now, why would you want that hairy beast when you can someone as smooth as chisled marble such as myself?
*Nicole grabs Guillermo by his crotch and squeezes tightly.*
Nicole: Where’s Magnum!?
Guillermo: *in a squeaky voice* He’s over there. *points to a vending machine a few feet away from them with his right hand.*
Nicole: Thank you.
*Nicole lets go of Guillermo’s crotch. Guillermo limps away as Nicole walks over to the vending machine. The cameraman goes with her, and we see Magnum putting a dollar into the machine, pushing some buttons, and then bending over to get his Snickers bar.*
Nicole: What the hell is wrong with you?
Magnum: *stands up* Oh, hey! *opens the wrapper of the Snickers and takes a bite of the candy*
Nicole: What the hell were you doing out there?
Magnum: *while chewing the Snickers* Out where.
Nicole: At the ring! You cost me and Dimitri Konstantinopolis our match in the Colvin Cup.
Magnum: *swallows the Snickers* It’s Konstantinos.
Nicole: I don’t give a crap! I lost because of you!
Magnum: *takes another bite of the Snickers and talks while chewing* Well, that was the idea.
Nicole: Ah-ha! You admit it!
Magnum: *still chewing* Of course I admit it. *swallows the Snickers* Why hide it?
*Magnum takes another bite of the Snickers.*
Nicole: Didn’t your mother ever tell you never to talk and chew food at the same time!?
Magnum: *talks and chews the Snickers at the same time* No. *swallows the Snickers*
Nicole: God! You’re such a pig!
Magnum: *takes another bite of the Snickers and talks and chews at the same time* And, you’re a sexist!
Nicole: A what?
Magnum: *still chewing and talking* A sexist.
Nicole: What!? Swallow that damn Snickers!
*Magnum chews the last of the Snickers and then swallows it. Then, he throws the wrapper into a trash can nearby.*
Magnum: A sexist.
Nicole: What!? Sexist!?
Magnum: Yes, a sexist. You know what a sexist is, do you?
Nicole: Of course I know what a sexist is! In fact, I’m looking at one.
Magnum: So am I! Though, I’m not so sure that you do and are just saying you know what a sexist is just to look smart!?
Nicole: What!? Look, I was just confused as to how in the hell am I sexist, because I’m not. However, you, sir, most definitely are! You think that I’m just innocent little girl who can’t handle a beating from a man! Please! I could take out Shane Malone…probably! Not only that but also you think that a kiss will turn me into putty, and I’ll be a sitting duck!
Magnum: Well, that is what happened out there!
Nicole: Um…well…um…shut up! And, I’m not sexist!
Magnum: Not only are you a sexist, but you are the sexiest sexist that's ever been in my good fortune to satirize.
Nicole: Satirize?
Magnum: Satirize, scrutinize, fantasize, etc., etc., etc.
Nicole: Ugh! What the hell is wrong with you!?
Magnum: Nothing. I’m just a nice guy who walks around and mind his own business. And then, some guy decides to attack me and my friend after we’ve wrestled a fought match for no good reason what so ever. And then, when me and said friend try to get a little payback, we are met with extreme violence.
Nicole: So what you did to me out there was revenge!?
Magnum: Well, I wouldn’t call it revenge. More like, you kissed me; so I kiss you back.
Nicole: Oh. I get it.
Magnum: Oh, you do.
Nicole: Yes, I do.
Magnum: So, you get it?
Nicole: Yes, I get it.
Magnum: You do, do you?
Nicole: I have it all figured out.
Magnum: You got it all figured out?
Nicole: Yes, I do.
Magnum: Good. So, could you tell me what you’ve got figured out? Because, I’m confused!
Nicole: *rolls her eyes* You like me.
Magnum: Say what now?
Nicole: *gets up into Magnum’s face* You like me.
Magnum: I like you?
Nicole: Yes, you like me. You want me. You gotta have me. *turns around, sticks her butt out to Magnum, and points to it* You want this. Yes, you do. *shakes her butt* You wanna have this. You gotta have it. You need ta have it. *suddenly turns around and gets back into Magnum’s face* But, you can’t have it, bitch!
*Nicole backs away, and there is a long pause.*
Magnum: What makes you think that I want you?
Nicole: C’mon! I mean, you enjoyed every kiss I’ve given you, and I can tell thanks to your tongue. Every time you get the chance to punch me, you don’t. You could have attacked me at 28 Days Later, but instead you decided to make out with me. And then, you did it again just a few minutes ago. Also, this is not the first Colvin Cup match you’ve interfered in! You cost my girl Tracy from winning her match. But, did you kiss her? No, no, no! You attacked her instead. Yet, you kissed me. Why? Because, as I stated earlier, *turns around, sticks her butt out to Magnum, and points to it* you want this. *turns back around* The evidence irrefutable.
*There is another long pause.*
Magnum: Well, to quote Sir Mix-A-Lot, I like big butts, and I cannot lie.
Nicole: Why, thank you.
Magnum: You’re welcome. And, I cannot lie about your accusations. You are one hundred percent correct.
Nicole: Yes! I knew it!
Magnum: Now, that I’ve admitted my feelings for you! I think you should admit it as well!
Nicole: What!?
Magnum: Oh, c’mon! You like me!
Nicole: WHAT!? That is preposterous, ridiculous, ludicrous, and insane!!!! Why in the blue hell would you think that I like you!
Magnum: Isn’t it obvious!? TNT, Tracy, Talia. They all attacked me. And, what did you do? Huh? What did you do?
Nicole: You know what I did.
Magnum: You’re damn right I do! You kissed me!
Nicole: I attacked you at 28 Days Later!
Magnum: True! But, you weren’t as rough with me as Talia and Tracy were. You were holding back. You weren’t giving it your all. And, why? Because, you have feelings for me.
Nicole: No, no, no, no, no, no!!!!
Magnum: Yes, *walks forward and backing Nicole into the wall behind her* yes, *keeps backing Nicole into the wall* yes, *keeps backing Nicole into the wall* yes, *keeps backing Nicole into the wall* yes, *finally backs Nicole into the wall, places his left arm, gets into Nicole’s face* yes.
Nicole: What are you doing?
Magnum: What you and me both want? C’mon! Let’s quit pretending that there isn’t anything between us! We’re like David and Maddie, Sam and Diane, Tracy and Hepburn, Ryan and Hanks. There is a sexual tension between us that is thick enough to cut with a chainsaw! I can’t stop thinking about you and that gorgeous body of yours. And, I know…I KNOW that you can’t stop thinking about me. So, let’s just do it! Let’s just drop the pretenses and charades! Let’s stop ignoring our animal passions! Let’s let our ids run wild! Let’s do what comes natural to two consenting adults in their sexual primes!
*Suddenly, Nicole kisses Magnum. It is long, deep, and passionate, like they are madly in love. After several minutes, Nicole pulls away from the kiss. Then, she plants a smaller tender kiss on Magnum.*
Nicole: Okay. I admit it. I want you. So badly it hurts. It actually physically makes my body ache. But…
Magnum: But what!? What in the hell is stopping you and me from doing what we both want to do!?
Nicole: Toby! You remember what he did after you kissed me at 28 Days Later.
Magnum: Yeah. I can still feel his noseguard bashing against my face.
Nicole: Yeah, and he wasn’t even finished. If it hadn’t been for your friend L. Rey, then you would have gotten a much worse end of his stick. And, if he found out what just happened here, then he would finish his job.
Magnum: So, are you two together?
Nicole: No, not exactly. It’s complicated.
Magnum: Then, uncomplicated it.
Nicole: I can’t!
Magnum: Why not!?
Nicole: Because…um…you know Jeff Jarrett said about pro wrestling? “For those who 'get it', no answer is necessary. For those who don't 'get it', no answer will be good enough.” Well, you’ll never get it. Let’s just say that Toby considers me to be his…
Magnum: Property?
Nicole: I wouldn’t put it that sexistly, but yeah. He’s extremely jealous. He’s overly protective of me, Talia, and Tracy. He constantly gets into fights with guys who hit on us. And, he expects us to be extremely loyal to him. And, I am loyal; but I can’t loyal to him all of the time. I’d go crazy. So, I do talk with other guys, go on dates, do other stuff, etc. But, I only do this when Toby ain’t around. Because, if he was…
Magnum: So, you’re afraid of what he’ll do to you?
Nicole: I am afraid…*long pause*…but not of what he’ll do to me. *long pause* Of what he’ll do to you.
Magnum: I can handle him.
Nicole: You probably could. *long pause* But, I couldn’t live with myself if you couldn’t.
*Nicole walks away. Magnum moves away from the wall and watches Nicole leave. After a few minutes, he punches the wall. Then, he walks off, shaking his fist. After another few minutes, we see Tracy emerging from a doorway. It appears that she may have seen the whole thing. Then, we cut to commercial.*
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Post by Jason Hereford on Mar 10, 2009 18:46:02 GMT -5
*Fade in to Jason Hereford backstage, in the dim corridor. He’s wearing his wrestling gear and pink sunglasses, and stands in front of a camera with his hands at his sides and a casual expression across his face. He clears his throat and speaks up.*
Jason: Hi, you might remember me. That hobo who lives in the hallway that even the janitors don’t like to travel to. The fellow who all—but one—despise and avoid. So now that the “pleasant introduction” is said and done, I’d like to indicate my reasoning for finally appearing, seemingly out of nowhere. You see, sitting back here and strategizing gets rather boring after a while. So how does one in a wrestling federation who has been unable to wrestle in very many matches as of late pass the time? With my own little promo show! As time progresses, the subjects of morality, honor, self-preservation and numerous others form the bases for conflict between many of the wrestlers and personalities here in W*I*G. And every so often, I, a messenger with a mission to present truth to the ignorant masses of humanity, will analyze a few of the people as well as events here in Wrestling’s Innovative Genesis and determine whether or not they also see the truth in this company.
*Hereford’s eyebrows lower their position on his forehead and he scrunches his nose for a moment, thinking; after a few seconds, his features return to normal.*
Jason: What is the truth? The truth is, ladies and gentlemen, commoners of the world, that this conflict between a supposed “good and evil” is an absolute farce. The question is this: are you high and mighty, trying to force your beliefs on others, or absolutely lacking in any sense of pragmatism? Or, do you find that not only are we all on the same moral plane—where nobody is any more “good” nor “evil” than anyone else—but that it is of the highest importance to conduct one’s business in a prudent, intellectual and diplomatic way. Sure, it’s alright to openly criticize one’s enemies, but…well…I’ll kind of show you where the line is drawn in a little bit.
*Hereford motions with his left hand to the camera crew, indicating that he needs them to prepare a few special effects or the like.*
Jason: Okay. Where to begin…? Ah! I know. Since this is the first time that any of you will be seeing my new segment, Jason Hereford’s “Spectrum of Morality”—it’s a working title, in case any of you find that worthy of mocking—I’ll start off with two of the most preeminent personalities in our company at the moment. Alexander Coltrane, one of my main rivals in this federation, and Synthy Eris, a woman I have had the displeasure of knowing for the majority of my nationally televised career. Let us start with Coltrane, since my opinion of him is perhaps a bit more well-known.
*A promotional package rolls over the camera, showing Coltrane hitting a variety of maneuvers on a number of his opponents…many of them being the signature moves of the opponents themselves.*
Jason: Coltrane is, without a shadow of a doubt, the most successful man in all of W*I*G. The W*I*G World Heavyweight Championship rests safely around his waist—for now—and he continues to consolidate his dominance over his opponents, as hollow as that “dominance” may be. Narrow victories abound in his reign, but to his credit—and I say this begrudgingly—Coltrane is still the champ, and there’s really no disputing that. I myself have lost to him on numerous occasions. He managed to outdo me in a battle royal for contendership and two title matches. But there is a difference that keeps me from being his inferior. See, for me, losing is a part of life and more importantly, strategy. While I’m away from a title shot right now, I can still gain a very tangible one in the future, and that is indeed something I’m working on at the moment. For Coltrane, on the other hand, he cannot bear to lose or even imagine what would happen to him if he lost. He’d be devastated, and would act with utter irrationality. And what’s more is that he has a tendency to raze bridges with old-fashioned behavior more suitable for an escaped mental patient than a professional wrestler.
*The promotional video quickly cuts into a number of clips of Coltrane from promos featuring him.*
*The footage fades out to Jason Hereford, still standing in front of the camera with an eyebrow raised above the top of his cracked pink sunglasses.*
Jason: Kidnapping and assaulting a woman? Assaulting the bloody OWNER of this company? Oh yes, and how about the lovely little bit where you discounted your opponent based upon their sex? Not that she isn’t infinitely discountable, but that’s well beyond my point. My point is, that Coltrane here is living, breathing, writhing evidence of irrationality and acting upon animalistic instinct. You’re possibly making extra enemies, and there’s no telling what effects could be caused by that in the future. Maybe denied a future title shot. Maybe interference in a match. Not likely, but it could still happen with higher likelihood than if you had avoided those practices altogether. Plus it kind of does the opposite of building prestige when you attack targets that aren’t even in competition with you. For me, it is vital to carry out actions while also keeping in mind the effects that can come with them. I failed to do that once and look what it did to me. So next time you decide to underestimate your opponent…keep in mind that if you get too used to discounting them for illogical reasons, you could end up making a grievous error that would damage your chances of winning…or maybe even cause you to lose that precious title belt you love so much.
*Pulling out a hand-held scoreboard from off-screen, Jason Hereford arranges the numbers and turns them around, with an “01” appearing as the “score.”*
Jason: All in all Coltrane, on a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being utterly illogical and opposed to pragmatism, 10 being high and mighty, and 5 being visionary and sensible…I give you a 1. In short, Coltrane, all offense to you, you are as backward as they come, with perhaps the exception of that man in EWT who believed he was a knight. If you continue your irresponsible, sociopathic lunacy, you will almost certainly disgrace yourself in the future. That being said…I’ll drink to that.
…If I had the cash on hand to buy the booze.
*Hereford places the scoreboard on a crate next to him and rubs his palms together, grinning.*
Jason: So naturally, our next subject of interest is Synthy Eris.
*Much like the promotional package for Coltrane earlier, a new one featuring Synthy Eris rolls over the screen, showing her executing a variety of her signature moves on her opponents from different matches.*
Jason: Synthy Eris is one of the most popular women in W*I*G, although I myself am confused as to why. While not quite as mentally unstable as Coltrane, while he sees it to be helpful, somehow, she embraces it and holds a double standard. The way she acts, everything that she doesn’t believe in suddenly sucks! She can go around and almost slice a man’s face off with a tiger claw one day just because she was “insulted.” Ya know, if we all did that because we were insulted, nobody would have a face left to slice off. And, correct me if I’m wrong, but that could be a bit of a problem.
*Hereford can audibly be heard chuckling to himself.*
Jason: Unfortunately, due to the way that wrestling companies work, I can’t procure any footage from your previous place of business. Although, I do find your debut there to be a perfect indication of your attitude, when you so selfishly interfered in a search for a new performer in order to force your personal beliefs on all of us. Maybe not everyone agrees with you. That’s their problem, right? Right. But still, have some common courtesy if you REALLY want to “do the right thing.” I’m not going to wield the word “hypocrite” on you a billion times, ‘cause someone else in the wrestling world does that already. But I’m just giving you a tip from a mind who promotes personal liberty. You find that committing violence on people who did not wrong you nor ever aim to wrong you might be fun or fulfilling, yet when someone else does anything to you they’re all of a sudden horrible people and you gotta get all preachy all of a sudden? In fact…
*The camera fades back into more clips.*
Jason: Now, I myself wouldn’t care less if a woman was challenging me for that title—I mean, skill is what matters, right?—but of course, the preachiness still has to happen. And then, not all too long after…
*The camera fades back to Hereford, who has his arms folded and a smile on his face.*
Jason: Well hot damn, you REALLY taught that “chauvinistic pig” a lesson! And so, in the process, you have only strengthened his resolve. Which makes things a little tougher for all of us. ‘Cept for him. Your intolerance for his beliefs which ultimately conflicted with yours ended up being a match-costing faux pas. So, now you’re probably going to call me sexist…or a hypocrite…or brutally attack me…or all three…and justify it because it’s all good in some convoluted way. As a result, I am going to have to give you a…
*He picks the scoreboard up and changes the numbers, before turning it around and showing a “08.”*
Jason: Eight. You act like morals are a big deal, but at the same time, you’re really not all that immaculate. Since doing what’s “right” to you revolves on a moral context, then I’m afraid you can’t get a 5, and well, you just hold on to your convictions too much to get a near number for leaning. But hey, you do demonstrate some potential to hold true vision on the facts of reality, and usually I’d be a bigger fan. But well, frankly, I just plain don’t like you.
*Jason smiles, tossing the scoreboard behind him and grinning as soon as he hears it hit the floor.*
Jason: So that’s all the time we have here on my “Spectrum of Morality.” Be sure to be forced to watch this important, gripping public service announcement next time, when I bother to crawl out of my rut and enlighten those of you who need it most once more. So yeah, that’s a wrap…and uh…let’s make sure this isn’t on the web…because that would be costing me extra.
*Fade out.*
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ragnal
Opener
Doesn't like pretty pictures below his username.
Posts: 83
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Post by ragnal on Mar 10, 2009 23:11:17 GMT -5
Backstage we find Lily-Rose standing by, her arms crossed and her expression not looking too happy.
Lily: So, dig this. I'm backstage at 28 Days Later, minding my own business and writing up a new song. Then I see Vile walking by, obviously miffed she lost her match. So I try cheering her up. No dice.
She shakes her head.
Lily: So I'm being the nicest I can, apologizing for miffing her off, and what happens? She takes my guitar and slams it into me. No reason, unprovoked, from what I can tell. Then after that, she just walks away. And that's it. I'm left to pick my own dang self off the floor, and my eyes are shooting daggers at her direction. The truth is, the chickadee messed with the wrong fighter. I may be a rockstar to some, but remember, I'm NOT just a rockstar, I'm also an accomplished MMA fighter, too. So even though Vile has this big-ass ego to her, and is one of the tougher girls in this place she needs to realize...this ain't just a pretty face she's messing with. It's a pretty dang pissed off one, too.
Lily then points at the camera.
Lily: So watchout, Vile.
She then walks off, and the scene fades out.
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Post by SsnakeBite, the No1 Frenchman on Mar 11, 2009 12:00:49 GMT -5
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Post by Team Ireland on Mar 11, 2009 15:25:28 GMT -5
W*I*G-SPHERE- BACKSTAGE- TEAM IRELAND LOCKER ROOM
*Team Ireland are returning to their locker-room following their appearance on "Stone's Quarry" at W*I*G's 28 Days Later PPV. O'Hare takes off his leather jacket in a strop & tosses it on the floor.*
O'Hare: F***IN' HARDCORE HENSLEY! THAT ARSEHOLE STORMS OUR INTERVIEW SEGMENT?! Tell ya what, Shane? That steamer's so bent out of shape about something that happened in October? Well, after this month he'll never manage to get over the punishment you mete out to him!
*He turns to the rest of the team.*
O'Hare: And the rest of youse, right? No more sitting on your arses waiting around for something to happen! Aidan & Sean, you two were one of the best Tag-Teams in EWT history! Maeve, you were undefeated there!
Aidan: She only had two focking matches...
Maeve: Here, I heard that!
Aidan: Yeah, well I said it out loud!
Maeve: Listen here...
Aidan: No! You listen to me! I'm the focking Captain here, roysh! You're lucky to be on this team! If it weren't for your last name & those two basket-balls you have shoved in your chest, fock knows where you'd be!
Sean: Hey, dude! That's WAY harsh!
Aidan: Just 'cause you want to ride her! Look, Maeve, I'm sorry. We're just all under a lot of pressure here. For too long we've been resting on our laurels & sure Team Ireland are good... but we could be GREAT!
O'Hare: That's it there, lad! That's the attitude we need.
Aidan: Exactly. Look, we could even comfortably have rested on the accolades we had BEFORE we even started wrestling, roysh? I mean, Sean was an Irish Dancing legend, bent as that may be, but he could've been the next, like, Michael Flately!
*Sean looks embarassed as this information is let out.*
Aidan: I won a Leinster Senior Schools Cup Medal for rugby. Even the Dricmeister doesn't have one of those! Shane won nearly every bloody "Strongman" competition he entered. He could've gone on to be the next Magnus ver Magnusson! The Coach's credentials are obvious enough! And Maeve, you were, among other sports, a champion bodybuilder!
*Maeve beams proudly at that. Aidan gestures towards a cabinet in the wall, containung various trophies, medals & such won by the members of Team Ireland.*
Aidan: Just take a look at that lot there! We KNOW what we're capable of acheiving...
Maeve: [Interrupting] Here, erm, where's my trophy?
Aidan: ... Wha'?!
Maeve: My Amateur Miss Ireland Heavyweight Bodybuilding Championship from 2006? Why is that not up there? It usually sits between your Rugby medal & Da's manager of the Year Award?
*Maeve approaches the cabinet & takes a look at the locks only to see that the lock has been broken.*
Maeve: Oh My GOD! Somebody busted into our cabinet & took my trophy?! UGH! Someone was in here messing with our stuff! I'm going to see Mr. Colvin right now!
O'Hare: Hould on, pet, calm down a second!
*Maeve throws open the locker-room door & exits. Her father & the camera follow her. Not too far from Team Ireland's room, Maeve spots a skinny looking figure sitting cross-legged atop a crate holding a golden statuette of what appears to be a woman flashing a double biceps pose. The rag-dolly looking woman strokes the statuette & breaks one of it's arms off. She twiddles the arm about in her fingers, looking at it in wonderment. Maeve calls out to her.*
Maeve: 'Scuse me, luv! What exactly d'you think yer doin' with that?!
Molly: "...Ground Control to Major Tom...commencing countdown...engines on...check igniti--"
Molly snaps out of her little tune and finally realizes there are two beings within her presence. And that one of them is addressing her in an aggravated tone.
Molly: "...Oh...."
After snapping the other arm of the golden statuette from it's body, Molly places the mini appendages onto a very strange, hand crafted...thing. A tower shape. Wrapped in tin foil with a hamster wheel stuffed in the middle. Christmas lights, a chandelier and old Dreamcast controllers also adorn the construct. The small structure looks like some kind of twisted, futuristic, Christmas tree.
Molly: "...Your Earth "statue" is not exactly what it seems. It is, in fact, a key piece in a little known device. A device, when used correctly, will allow me to transmit frequencies to those who live beyond the stars of your universe..."
Reaching behind the crate, she produces a replica of a space helmet which she plays over her own head. It obscures her face and slightly muffles her voice.
Molly: "...Someday, when we all live in space, your helmets are all going to feel awkward and uncomfortable, but mine will feel nice an' cozy. You might want to start wearing one..."
*Maeve moves forward to snatch the, now broken statuette from Molly's hand. Molly defends the trophy as though it were her own, holding it as far back as she can to keep it from Maeve's reach. Maeve looks to her father, then back to Molly.*
Maeve: What the hell are you talkin' about?! That's MY trophy! D'you have any idea how hard I worked to get that?! It's not easy for a girl as tall as me to build as good a physique as I did! That thing there is my crowning acheivement. *Maeve starts getting reall huffy, stamping her feet* Give it back right now!
*Maeve lunges forward again. Molly dismounts the crate & Maeve grasps at nothing but air. Maeve looks to whare Molly now stands & lunges for her again, Molly hops backwards & Maeve's arms 'swoosh' in the air again. Maeve makes another leap towards Molly who takes a big step back & Maeve crashes onto the ground. Molly leans over Maeve, still brandishing the statuette.*
Molly: "Sorry. But I REALLY need this. You'll understand. Eventually!"
Snatching her "transmitter", Molly shoots out of sight with the armless trophy in tow. Maeve growls, rising to a sitting position while rubbing at her head, while Coach O' Hare looks on in befuddlement.
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BR Juri Sadamoto
Opener
Just your average, scarred Japanese-Irish American girl next door.
Broken Rose
Posts: 30
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Post by BR Juri Sadamoto on Mar 11, 2009 15:48:12 GMT -5
*Fade in from commercial to see BR Juri Sadamoto staring at a monitor. She looks up at the camera and turn off what she was watch.*
Juri: Jason. Hereford.
*She closes her eyes and rolls her neck before staring into the camera.*
Juri: For the longest time, we've never really spoke to each other or even had a prolonged physical confrontation. Truth is that I was happy for that. Happy because I was able to ignore your slimy, hedonistic tendencies. But then you came here to WIG about the same time I did. I cringed but as you know, my time here in the first months were cut short.
*She pauses for a bit, rubbing her forehead.*
Juri: But now, I can't ignore you anymore. You've verbally attacked my Syn. And while she'll never admit it, you have struck a cord. Calling her actions and words into question, like she was some damn politician. *She glares at the camera* How strangely fitting that you are the biggest politician of all, forgetting facts when they don't fit into your view.
*She shifts.*
Juri: Like how the man Synthy damaged compares to what Coltrane has done, as if her victim was innocent... Do you forget that he mentally tortured her? Forced her to wear the most embarrassing outfits in public... And trying to ruin the life of the one person outside of her family that she loves. The man that you WISH you could be, but will never be. How you wanted his fame, talent, status, charm... How you longed to be the same guy... How you probably have the same taste in women...
*She shivers.*
Juri: But even though that man was defeated by me, how he was left a bitter and broken individual after he got what he had coming... Even after he has not been seen in almost a year... He is still better than you.
*She again rolls her neck.*
Juri: I know your response... “Oh, but you're just as amoral, Juri. You fight for equality yet do it in the worst way imaginable.” And you would be correct. But you see, unlike your tournament partner with a superiority complex or a certain French woman who gives French whores a bad name... I don't want to have little girls grow up to be like me. In a perfect world, there shouldn't be two Juri Sadamotos. Hell, there probably wouldn't even be one... Which brings me to my next point about the so-called “next Juri Sadamoto.”
*She shifts and leans into the camera.*
Juri: You know when Chick attacked me, I thought it was unfortunate but my own problem. However, over time I've noticed a horrible trend... Someone makes a name of themselves by throwing a bigger star down the stairs. Our champions beat down their opponents to the point the point of unconsciousness. Someone comes in from a defunct federation with a now meaningless title and proclaims herself the real women's champion. And when said title is lost, fairly, that same someone attacks a good friend of mine. *She taps her head.* By the way, congratulations Ykaterina.
*She brushes her hair out of her face.*
Juri: For too long now, chaos has been the law of the land here. And hopefully with the new management coming in, things will change. But I'm not holding my breath. I hate to take the spotlight from someone that is far more deserving to say so, but it's time to take a stand... I'm tired of individuals like you, Jason, getting to do or say whatever they want. It's time they are finally put in their place. So go on, fantasizing that idol loser and wishing to be him. And honestly, I hope you do win the tournament... Only to see you lose your match in another justifiably humiliating defeat. As for my death match opponent at the next Pay Per View...
*She stares deeply into the camera.*
Juri: Retribution is on it's way. And as I know personally, and literally, Karma is....a....bitch!
*Fade.*
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Post by Jonathan Doe on Mar 11, 2009 19:11:53 GMT -5
*Dropkick Murphys' "I'm Shipping Up To Boston" cues up. At the upbeat of the song Coach O'Hare appears, still not quite used to receiving cheers from the crowd. He's followed scant seconds later by a beaming Sean McCann. Sean drops down on one knee & makes a double-thumb jacking gesture behind him. Maeve saunters out through the curtain unimpressed with Sean's theatrics. The trio continue on down the aisle a bit. Maeve & Sean bickering as they go.*
Howard Finkel: The following intergender Tag-Team contest is scheduled for one fall & is a first round match for the Colvin Cup Tournament. Introducing first, proudly representing their home country of Ireland, being accompanied by Coach O'Hare, at a combined weight of 414lbs, "The Don Juan of Donegal" Sean McCann & Maeve O'Hare... TEAM IRELAND!
*Coach O'Hare steps in & gets them to simmer down. The Green, White & Gold pyro explodes at the top of the ramp. O'Hare raises his Hurley high & stretches the Tricolour out as wide as he can. The three carry on down to the ring, Sean holds the ropes open for Maeve, she again doesn't care for this & enters at an adjacent set of ropes. Sean enters the ring & scales a ringpost, removing his shiny white waistcoat & throwing it to the crowd were a bunch of women scrabble to get it. Maeve climbs the opposite post & gives a quick, elegant flex of her arms before jumping back into the ring. Maeve has a few words for Sean again, but O'Hare steps in between them & has a few words of his own. Whatever it is that O'Hare has to say, we don't hear it as the eerie strains of the Max Payne 2 Theme begin to fill the air.*
Howard Finkel: Making their way to the ring, from the City of Angels, at a combined weight of 405 pounds, Jonathan Doe and Cheyenne, The Pantheon...Of the New Revelation!
*Out from the curtains come Jonathan Doe and Cheyenne in wrestling attire. Jonathan is wearing Exner's bloody and torn mask. They come alone, with no one accompanying them. Doe looks incredibly cocky, while Cheyenne looks nervous.*
Tom: Will you look at that display of cockiness? Not only did Doe disgrace and humiliate Exner already, but now he adds even more salt to the wounds. That's Exner's mask goddammit!
Jeannie: Why would he want to cover his face up with that thing, anyway.
Tom: Well, we still have a match to cover.
Jeannie: Yeah. Let's talk turkey.
*The Pantheon get in the right. Jonathan is ordered to take off the mask by the referee, and he does so.
Tom: Well, Maeve & Sean may not like the fact that they're teaming together, but they've already got The Pantheon at a big disadvantage. Sean & Maeve know eachother's wrestling styles pretty well & have been part of the same unit for a few months. I don't think that Doe & Cheyenne have ever teamed before.
Jeannie: I've never seen Doe without his suit before & I can tell you I want to see much more of it!
DING-DING!
Jeannie: This match to start off with the two smaller particpants as Sean McCann stands against Cheyenne.
*Sean stands face-to-face with Cheyenne. They're exactly the same height. Sean tries to lock-up with Cheyenne. She complies, Sean is clearly overpowering her. He casts a look back over in the direction of Coach O'Hare as if to say, "Piece of cake". He's surprised as Cheyenne manages to sweep one of his legs out from under him & take him down to the mat. Cheyenne lays into Sean with a few slaps. Maeve can barely contain her laughter as she stands on the ring apron. Sean forces Cheyenne off him &, rather flustered makes his way to the Team Ireland corner to make a tag. Maeve holds her hands back, just as Sean reaches the corner. Cheyenne suprises Sean with a roll-up, taking a decent handful of his tights as she goes. The ref slides in to make the count...*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
Tom: Sean McCann barely managed to get out of that one.
Jeannie: Jeez! A woman with hardly any experience is kicking his ass!
Tom: Sean needs to focus on the match right now! Not how easy he thought it would be.
Jeannie: He certainly won't be bragging about how easy it is when Doe steps in there... WOOF!
*Sean gets back to his feet & spins around in a tizzy. He stamps his feet on the ground & brushes his long hair back. He charges right at Cheyenne & she leapfrogs over him. Sean hits the ropes & Cheyenne catches him on the rebound with a Drop Toe Hold. Maeve is cracking up by now.*
Tom: Sean's head just isn't in it tonight at all.
Jeannie: Y'know what I wish his head was in?
Tom: That's enough, thank you!
*Cheyenne leaps onto Sean's back as he lies stomach down on the ground. She tries to lock in a Camel Clutch, but the hold is very poorly applied. Sean makes his way towards the ropes quite handily. As soon as Cheyenne releases the hold on Sean, McCann rolls to his corner & makes the tag to Maeve who accepts it this time. Maeve steps confidently into the ring. Cheyenne looks worried until she makes the tag to Jonathan Doe. Doe enters the ring exuding even more confidence than Maeve.*
Tom: And here we go with the two big powerhouses. It's not often that Maeve O'Hare finds herself as the smaller competitor in a match. Jonathan Doe has a few inches & a couple of pounds over her.
*Not wasting time, Doe & Maeve collide mid-ring. Doe throwing punches at Maeve like there's no tomorrow. Maeve blocking what she can & delivering strong blows of her own in between the gaps of Doe's punches. Doe manages to land a punch to Maeve's jaw which sends the large Irish-woman reeling.*
Jeannie: Ow! Man, that looked painful.
Tom: Doe's got some pretty harsh punches. I wouldn't be surprised if Maeve suffered a fractured jaw.
*As Maeve leans doubled over, feeling at her jaw, Doe grabs her by the head & places an arm under Maeve's jaw. He digs Maeve in the gut with a knee & flings one of her arms back over his shoulder so he's almost in position for a Rock Bottom, but rather than slam Maeve to the mat, Doe drops to his knees, jacking Maeve's jaw even further. Maeve reels back again. Doe knocks her with a forearm to the back of the head. Maeve falls over. landing with her head & arms on the top rope. Doe keeps the referee distracted while Cheyenne grabs Maeve's head & leaps off the apron to the floor doing even more damage to Maeve's jaw.*
Tom: The Pantheon aren't letting up that assault on Maeve's mandible. Even if Team Ireland win this she'll still be feeling that for a while.
*As Maeve's head springs back from that assault Doe grabs her & tries for a German Suplex. Maeve blasts Doe with a few back elbow shots. As Doe reels back from that, Maeve takes the time to check on her jaw. Doe returns to Maeve almost immediately aiming for a Clothesline. Maeve ducks it & when Doe turns around Maeve hits him in the face with a few elbow smashes. She backs Doe up to the ropes & whips him to the opposite side of the ring. She catches him on the rebound with a Spinbuster. The impact obviously rattles Maeve as well as she opts to tag in Sean at this moment.*
Tom: Some wise strategy there. Doe being the sick competitor that he is woul sooner have Maeve leave the W*I*G-Sphere with a serious injury than win this match.
Jeannie: But he'd rather do both, right?
*Sean climbs to the top rope & waits for Doe to stand again. As soon as Doe gets to his feet Sean tries landing on him with a Dragonrana, but Doe hasn't been weakened sufficiently just yet. When Sean lands on Doe's shoulders, Doe Powerbombs Sean to the mat. Doe still isn't willing to take too much more punishment so he staggers to The Pantheon's corner & tags Cheyenne.*
Jeannie: Does he really think that scrawny bitch can beat Sean?
Tom: So far, Cheyenne's come closer to winning this match than the other three competitors. Take that for what you will.
*Cheyenne decides to seize the moment & throws herself on top of Sean for the cover...*
1...
2...
KICKOUT!
Jeannie: AGAIN?! What is up with him tonight?
Tom: In fairness that was off a Powerbomb by Jonathan Doe rather than anything Cheyenne did.
*Sean sits up & looks furious. he doesn't allow Cheyenne to get to her corner to tag in Doe. Instead, he's about to set her up for the Donegal Drop. But Cheyenne shoves Sean off to the ropes before he can execute the move. On the rebound she hits Sean with a Dropkick that can only be described as shambolic. She barely brushes Sean & gets only a tiny bit of elevation. As a result, it's more that Sean actually trips over her that brings him down as opposed to the actual Dropkick. Sean pushes himself off the top of Cheyenne & takes a glance up towards the Team Ireland corner. Maeve is holding an ice-pack up to her jaw. Cheyenne looks towards her corner & Doe is yelling at her, in an angry way, not an encouraging way. Sean grabs Cheyenne by the hair as he stands again, dragging her up to a standing position as well. He knees her in the stomach & tries to leap onto her shoulders for a Hurrancanrana, but Cheyenne can't keep Sean's weight on her shoulders even for that brief moment & the two collapse again in a heap. Sean picks Cheyenne up again & sets her up for a Powerbomb.*
Jeannie: Not often that Sean McCann makes an attempt to display his power.
Tom: It's not often that Sean McCann outweighs an opponent by about 30lbs, either.
*Before Sean can heft Cheyenne up onto hos shoulders, she slips through his legs & scurries around to his back. Sean turns around to face her, only for Cheyenne to catch him with a kick right to the head. Sean falls to the mat, still able to move, just stunned. Cheyenne drops to her knees too & begins making her way towards Doe in the corner as he continues to chastise her.*
Tom: Cheyenne manages to surprise Sean McCann...
Jeannie: ... and us...
Tom: Quite right, Jeannie... and us, again. Who knew that Cheyenne would display this level of aptitude?
Jeannie: Doe & Exner are no slouches. They didn't win those Tag-Team & Stables titles by sitting on their hands. I wouldn't be surprised if she picked up a few tricks from being 'round them.
*Both Sean & Cheyenne are slowly making their way towards their respective corners. *
Tom: And its a race to see who can get the fresh partner in. Both competitors inching towards their corners...
*Sean is able to tag in Maeve.*
Jeannie: Team Ireland the first to make the tag.
*Cheyenne however is not able to make the tag, as Maeve grabs Cheyenne's leg just inches short, and pulls her back to the center of the ring. *
Tom: But unfortunately for the Pantheon, they are not able to make the tag.
Jeannie: This is the last place Cheyenne wants to find herself in. We've seen Maeve go toe-to-toe with Jonathan Doe tonight, and not back down. Cheyenne is not only the weakest combatant tonight, but also the least experienced. Tom: You're right about that. This could potentially spell the end for the Pantheon's tournament hopes.
*Suddenly, the arena goes black. Over the loud speaker, a man can be heard breathing heavily. He then yells “Jonathan....Don't think that I've forgotten! You may have taken my face....my identity, but I am, and always will be Exner! You, Jonathan, are not as lucky. For when I come back, you will cease to exist. You will become a shadow. A ghost. Persona Non Grata. The name Jon Doe will be sadly ironic. But this is not a threat...this is a decree!” *
Tom: What was that?
Jeannie: Didn't you listen? That was obviously Exner.
Tom: Look at Doe! He looks like he's seen a ghost!
*Jonathan Doe, who has now left the apron, indeed does look extremely frightened and has began to go pale. He is walking up the ramp. Back in the ring, Cheyenne is now up, and looking at Jonathan. Maeve goes up behind her, spins her around, and hits a thunderous Sit out powerbomb! She goes for a cover.*
1
2
3
Tom: Team Ireland pulls this one out!
Fink: Here are your winners, who will be advancing on to the second round of the Colvin Cup, Teeeeaaammm Irrrreeeland!
* Coach O'Hare and Sean join Maeve in the ring as “Shipping up to Boston” plays.*
Tom: Maybe not the most ideal victory but-
Jeannie: Tom, let me stop you right there. If you're suggesting that Team Ireland had anything to do with that cryptic message, then I think you may have finally lost it. Sure, it did come at a bad time for the Pantheon, but the fact remains that there was still a match going on, and both Jonathan and Cheyenne decided to quit paying attention to it, and they suffered the consequences.
Tom: I guess you're right. Well, either way, a big congratulations to Team Ireland.
*Jonathan Doe, who has now refocused his attention back to the ring, looks incredibly furious. Team Ireland notices this, and leave the ring after a brief celebration. Doe enters the ring as Cheyenne starts to come to her senses.
Jeannie: Uh oh Tom. This doesn't look good!
Tom: I really don't like the look in Doe's eyes one bit.
*Doe lifts Cheyenne to her feet by her arm. Although neither is speaking into a microphone, the house mics and the camera pick up their conversation quite clearly. *
Doe: What happened? WHAT HAPPENED?!
Cheyenne: What do you mean? Where were you?
Doe: You saw what happened!
Cheyenne: Well sorry if I don't piss my pants everytime someone says boo anymore! Seriously, you've gone off the deep end. Ever since you took Exner's mask.
Doe: Don't you EVER say that name to me! EVER! The man who went by that name is dead to me! So, you think I've gone off the deep end, huh? HUH? Well, would a crazy man do this!
*Doe elbows Cheyenne square in the jaw. She goes down in a heap. *
Tom: (quietly)Oh god....
Jeannie: We might need someone to come out here.
*Duke turns Cheyenne over onto her stomach and grabs her arms. *
Jeannie: He can't honestly be considering this.
Tom: If he does, he seriously will have gone too far.
*Doe lifts Cheyenne slightly off the mat, and then stomps the back of her head hard back down. Divine Intervention! *
Tom: Someone get some help back here. Oh god, she might be crippled.
*Doe looks at what he's done with a smile, but his face quickly turns to one of horror and fear. He leaves the ring, and exits the arena through the crowd as EMTs and security come down to the ring. *
*An add for the next PPV is shown*
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